| Author | |
amyable
Forum All-Star
Joined: March 07 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3798
|
| Posted: May 07 2009 at 12:30pm | IP Logged
|
 |
|
Because I'm just in a chatty mood. 
We basically have three options as we see it: staying in our current house (not a desirable option, even with remodeling - it doesn't get us enough room), moving in our same very suburban town, and moving to a more rural town. So if you had to choose between these two pretend houses, which would you chose?
Both are similarly priced (a stretch for us but not unbearable - getting anything in a remotely good neighborhood around here means a $$ stretch)
"Rural" house:
** 2 acres, hilly, some trees
** school system better, crime less but still there (i.e. recently heard about hate grafitti on cars and things stolen from open garages and unlocked cars)
** big enough for us but not huge (maybe 2500-2700sq ft?)
** new neighbors, new church, new activities for kids, new stores to get used to
** dh's commute doubles to 40 minutes on a good day (although it's a "pretty" 40 minutes - he says he doesn't care about pretty  )
** town has some rec center sports and a good library but that's about all - food and other shopping about 20+ minutes away
** home is 30 years old, has well, septic, and oil heat
Now the other house, in our current town:
** new construction (old homes in our town are tiny, all new construction up to this point has been HUGE and out of our price range - these new ones are mid-size/mid-priced...for the area)
** same church, same activities we are used to
** 1/2 mile walk to the library and stores
** definitely more crime: less than 2 miles away we hear about people being held up at gun and/or knife point at random times. We don't hear of these things *right* where we are, but how long will that last?
** .2 to .3 acre lots, which *might* back to a field or some trees, and may just as soon have a house behind it.
I know what *I* like in my heart of hearts, and unfortunately I think my family would prefer the other option.
I wonder what I'm missing, what I'm not considering in all this.
Which place would you rather live in? I know we have both city/suburban/country folks here. :) These two options don't seem to have the benefits of the city OR the benefits of real country living, but it's what we're stuck with! 
__________________
Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of 
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
JodieLyn
Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 06 2006
Location: Oregon
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 12234
|
| Posted: May 07 2009 at 1:10pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
How will you feel losing at least 40 minutes every single day with your dh? Also, what about winter weather? is it going to make his longer drive more dangerous? Is the longer drive going to make him eventually resent living there?
Will the kids be able to do the same type of activities? Or will they get new opportunities that they've been wanting?
I would pretty much discount any apprehension of "change" as factoring in.. that's over with pretty fast and you're stuck living with the choice after that.
New house sounds like it will already be a stretch.. could you add to that stretch the extra cost of the longer commute and the extra cost of driving to the store and such?
__________________
Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
LucyP
Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 05 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 791
|
| Posted: May 07 2009 at 1:58pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Well....after living in a 100+ year old house for 10 years, I would go for a new build. But that's just me! But I also think rural living is better overall - at least for my city-bound family.
Do you think that a change would be "fun" or just more stress on top of the stress of daily life, if you know what I mean. Sometimes I think that a "new start" would be really good for us as a family - new parish, new home ed groups etc - do you think that would be true for your family.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
amyable
Forum All-Star
Joined: March 07 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3798
|
| Posted: May 07 2009 at 2:01pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
JodieLyn wrote:
How will you feel losing at least 40 minutes every single day with your dh? Also, what about winter weather? is it going to make his longer drive more dangerous?
... could you add to that stretch the extra cost of the longer commute and the extra cost of driving to the store and such?
|
|
|
Have you been talking to my husband? These are all the things he says. All very good thoughts, Jodie - thank you for sharing them. Ultimately, my dh says I can choose (it was my 40th birthday present!) as long as it's under a certain $$$. The presure is killing me! 
__________________
Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
amyable
Forum All-Star
Joined: March 07 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3798
|
| Posted: May 07 2009 at 2:05pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
LucyP wrote:
| Do you think that a change would be "fun" or just more stress on top of the stress of daily life, if you know what I mean. Sometimes I think that a "new start" would be really good for us as a family - new parish, new home ed groups etc - do you think that would be true for your family. |
|
|
I think it would be true for *me* - not necessarily for the rest of my family. They don't like change. I feel like I'm suffocating w/o it.
I guess either way the house would be new to us, and THAT would be a welcome change.
__________________
Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
JodieLyn
Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 06 2006
Location: Oregon
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 12234
|
| Posted: May 07 2009 at 2:13pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
yes, the house would be a change, and something I realized when we were looking at a bigger house.. that here things basically fit one way, very little room for changes.. In the house we were looking at.. I actually had OPTIONS.. there wasn't just one way the couch, 2 chairs and buffet will fit in the living room.
I am leary of new construction though, I haven't been terribly impressed with what I've seen. But then older houses have things wearing out so it may be a "wash" there.
__________________
Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
KC in TX
Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 05 2005
Location: Texas
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2621
|
| Posted: May 07 2009 at 2:14pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I have a friend whose husband works an 1 away. At first, it was okay for both her and her husband, but he's been at the job less than a year and he's looking closer to home. He makes a ton of money where it works now but it's not worth it. He misses too much time at home. For that alone, I'd go for the one closer to dh's work.
__________________
KC,
wife to Ben (10/94),
Mama to LB ('98)
Michaela ('01)
Emma ('03)
Jordan ('05)
And, my 2 angels, Rose ('08) and Mark ('09)
The Cabbage Patch
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
SusanJ
Forum All-Star
Joined: May 25 2007
Location: New Jersey
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1347
|
| Posted: May 07 2009 at 2:29pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Because we are pretty passionate about urban living my dh does a fair bit of research about crime statistics. See if you can look up police reports and such and get a real, accurate handle on what kind of crime is happening and who it is happening to. Violence is seldom truly random and/or would be extremely unlikely to happen to you at the times you would be out. For example, we briefly considered a move to a slightly sketchy neighborhood in an East Coast city last year. Dh found very detailed crime maps online and we discovered that there was not a single crime against a white woman anywhere near our neighborhood. Nor was there any kind of crime against a person during daylight hours. Since I don't walk alone at night no matter where I live this neighborhood did not worry me. You might not want to live near any kind of crime regardless of how likely you are to be victimized but I would encourage you to take a good look at those numbers since crime seems to be the main drawback to that option.
The other would be the small yard. Would this be offset by more close neighbors so that your kids might have other yards to play in for variety? Or the run of the block?
Susan
__________________
Mom to Joseph-8, Margaret-6, William-4, Gregory-2, and new little one due 11/1
Life Together
[URL=http://thejohnstonkids.blogspot.com]The Kids' Blog[/UR
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
JodieLyn
Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 06 2006
Location: Oregon
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 12234
|
| Posted: May 07 2009 at 2:49pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Good points Susan..
For instance there was a kidnapping in our area.. sounds horrible and scary.. until you realize it was part of a custody battle and not going to happen to random children.
__________________
Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
doris
Forum All-Star
Joined: April 24 2006
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1103
|
| Posted: May 07 2009 at 4:59pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
We moved 3 years ago and these sorts of considerations seem very recent to me...
We could have gone for more space and longer commute, too, but we went for closeness to dh's work and transport links. Considering that for dh at least, he never seems to work less hard, only more, as each year passes, the fact that he can cycle to work in 20 minutes is a *big* bonus.
It was a big thing for me to be able to walk to places, too, and not always rely on the car.
Here, oil heating is ferociously expensive, but I'm guessing it's not as bad over there. Still, I can't imagine that oil prices are going to fall in the long term.
I can't think in acres -- we tend to express size of garden in length. We've got 80 foot here which for London is considered a lot. I wouldn't have wanted anything smaller. But I wouldn't want anything huge, either, because of the work involved.
Just my tuppence worth!
__________________
Home educating in London, UK with dd (2000) ds (2002), dd (2004), ds (2008) and dd (2011).
Frabjous Days
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
SaraP
Forum All-Star
Joined: Dec 15 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 531
|
| Posted: May 07 2009 at 5:42pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
*I* would chose the more rural one in a heartbeat. In fact, I do live in a 2,500sq ft, 30 year old house on well/septic/oil, with land around it and a 40 min commute for my DH and we like it very much.
But Elizabeth raises a very good point about yard work. How much do you and your DH like cutting grass? If it's grassy, 2 hilly acres is going to require at 2-3/week to keep maintained even with a riding mower.
__________________
Mama to six on earth, two in heaven and two waiting in Russia. Foxberry Farm Almanac
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
DominaCaeli
Forum All-Star
Joined: April 24 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3711
|
| Posted: May 07 2009 at 11:22pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
amyable wrote:
| ** dh's commute doubles to 40 minutes on a good day (although it's a "pretty" 40 minutes - he says he doesn't care about pretty ) |
|
|
This would be the deal breaker for me, honestly. Those extra minutes each day really add up.
__________________
Blessings,
Celeste
Joyous Lessons
Mommy to six: three boys (8, 4, newborn) and four girls (7, 5, 2, and 1)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Tonya
Forum Rookie
Joined: March 27 2008
Location: Pennsylvania
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 81
|
| Posted: May 08 2009 at 6:04am | IP Logged
|
|
|
My husband has always had to commute at least 40 minutes (and sometimes more) to live where we have wanted to live. I have always felt a little guilty but he has never seemed to mind.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
guitarnan
Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Maryland
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 10883
|
| Posted: May 08 2009 at 7:30am | IP Logged
|
|
|
My dh has a long commute and we all hate it. The last place we lived he could walk to work and it was great. But...when we lived there, the closest "real" grocery store was 1/2 hour each way and everything else (library, big box stores, any kind of lessons for kids besides dance) was an hour each way in the opposite direction. That part was awful - even buying a gift for someone was a three-hour tour, so to speak! We had to do a lot of brake work on our cars (mountain driving) during those two years.
I am leery of wells because all my friends here who have them have no water when the power goes out, and ours does occasionally, particularly in high winds. No power is bad, but no power and no water is way worse. (I lived in Italy twice, and I know all about no power and no water!)
The crime thing is worrisome, but I think Susan's suggestion is worth some time...we have a lot of crime at the malls nearest to our home, for example, but it's all at night, mostly on weekends...so I never go there at those times. I also avoid fast food and pizza places late at night, same reason. One thing you could do is visit the area in question at several times of day and night and watch what goes on. Drug deals on corners on Friday nights? That would be a deal-breaker for me, kwim?
__________________
Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Angel
Forum All-Star
Joined: April 22 2006
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2293
|
| Posted: May 08 2009 at 8:23am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Um, rural. Knowing that people had been held up at knife point nearby would make me sick to the point of not functioning.
But I may be a little neurotic.
__________________
Angela
Mom to 9, 7 boys and 2 girls
Three Plus Two
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
LisaR
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2226
|
| Posted: May 08 2009 at 9:17am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I'm all for the shortest commute. we have a "rule" that we live 10 miles or less from dh's office.
in three states, and 16 years of marriage, this has worked for us!
I've had friends move to the country, only to discover they really have a huge problem with the one or two "neighbors" that ARE near them, granted a few acres away, but meth labs, hunting with guns or bows, encroaching on their property, etc.
I firmly believe that crime is a all around problem, not just unique to one type of area.
My dh can fix anything, and did landscaping at our college for 6 years, so yardwork/chores/manual labor does not scare him. plus we have 4 strapping sons .
however, we did not want our lives to revolve around the riding mower and/or lots of home repairs/issues.
we're on a 150x100 lot as it is in a 30 y/o home, and that seems work enough! rope swing, some woods, creek ,little bridge, fire pit, wooden play structure, and soccer goal and garden. (we've done enough work on it that we are thinking if there is a next time, new would be nice, LOL!!)
we're in 1800 sf with 5 kids, and hope we don't move anytime soon!
oh, as a mom with health issues and a ds with a seizure disorder, we've had to call 911 2x in the past 10 years.
I know it's not pleasant to think about , but living literally 1/4 of a mi from staffed 24/7 emergency services was a HUGE blessing for us.
Dh encountered a rollover accident on a rural road at 6am one Sat morning. it was AGONY to sit with a dead woman (the car landed on top of her) and severely injured man for 23 min until help arrived.
I think emergency services, especially with children, is something that will always be important to us.
__________________
Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
LisaR
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2226
|
| Posted: May 08 2009 at 9:21am | IP Logged
|
|
|
oh, you can walk to library/stores now??!!! that is huge for us! I like not having to be dependant on a car if we don't have to!
__________________
Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
amyable
Forum All-Star
Joined: March 07 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3798
|
| Posted: May 08 2009 at 10:16am | IP Logged
|
|
|
LisaR wrote:
| oh, you can walk to library/stores now??!!! that is huge for us! I like not having to be dependant on a car if we don't have to! |
|
|
We would be able to if we move into this new house - there is a grocery store and a library each about 1/2 mile away. Hopefully there are good sidewalks, etc to get there, but I haven't checked. I do know we will have to cross a busy/fast road.
Right now the closest grocery is over a mile - doable, but hard with 5 kids and a ton of groceries in tow (especially while crossing an even busier main road)
__________________
Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
amyable
Forum All-Star
Joined: March 07 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3798
|
| Posted: May 08 2009 at 10:23am | IP Logged
|
|
|
LisaR wrote:
but living literally 1/4 of a mi from staffed 24/7 emergency services was a HUGE blessing for us.
...
I think emergency services, especially with children, is something that will always be important to us. |
|
|
Yes this is definitely something we need to consider with dd's with anaphylactic allergies (someday I'll learn how to spell that ). Right now we are a few miles away from a hospital (not a good one but *something*) and 20 minutes from a ton of better hospitals. The other town we want to move to is at least 30 min to ANY hospital.
You ladies are convincing me more and more about what option is right for us - but my nature-loving-space-needing heart is just *breaking*.
As I liked to say when I was a kid, "I'll deal with what I have to now, but MY heaven will have a ton of breathing room and a babbling brook!" (I would change my heaven according to what I needed at the time that I wasn't getting.
__________________
Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
LisaR
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2226
|
| Posted: May 08 2009 at 10:32am | IP Logged
|
|
|
amyable wrote:
LisaR wrote:
but living literally 1/4 of a mi from staffed 24/7 emergency services was a HUGE blessing for us.
...
I think emergency services, especially with children, is something that will always be important to us. |
|
|
Yes this is definitely something we need to consider with dd's with anaphylactic allergies (someday I'll learn how to spell that ). Right now we are a few miles away from a hospital (not a good one but *something*) |
|
|
oops, we are 1/4 mi away from the fire dept/EMS and about 5 mi. from 3 hospitals.
I am not a fan of volunteer fire/EMS. It takes too long for them to arrive.
my dad worked his way up through a large cities' Fire Dept, and even growing up hearing stories about how seconds really count, impressed this upon me, too.
__________________
Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
|
|
Forum Locked) 
4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Help me think - re: moving
