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Syncletica
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| Posted: March 15 2009 at 11:57pm | IP Logged
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How do you do it? I seem to be letting months go by without ever acquiring any habits in myself or helping my children along with them. I just 'know' I should do it, but I guess I don't know 'how'. What do you recommend to give that extra kick to get one going?
Also....rather than starting another thread....I feel as though our Lent is not going as well as it ought to. There is still so much unkindness, bossiness, yelling, disobedience, and not near enough effort to be the servant of others. I need another quick kick to get me going on making this a holy and productive Lent. Any ideas?
TIA!
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teachingmyown
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| Posted: March 16 2009 at 10:17am | IP Logged
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I am absolutely the wrong person to answer this based on my life!  But, I do know the right answer even if I don't manage to do it.
Start with one thing. Try something simple. If you struggle with coats and shoes on the floor, tell the kids you are all going to work on that. Remind them and yourself while saying things like, "In our house we hang up our coats so they stay clean and we put our shoes in the basket so we don't trip on them." Say it with a smile.
Add something else in when you have mastered that. Keep the same reminders going, and lots of praise for accomplishments.
As for behavioral issues, use the same sort of reminders, "In our family, we don't yell at people, we ask nicely" and so on. If you are vigilant and even a bit humorous about it, it will catch on.
For us right now, we are having trouble getting out of bed. All of us. I know that I need to get this under control because it throws off the whole day. Between day light savings time and the fact that the sun refuses to shine, none of us (except for my poor dh who has no choice) feels that impetus to get up and get moving.
Good luck!
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In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: March 18 2009 at 10:54am | IP Logged
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Molly, you crack me up...and I'm with you!
In addition to Molly's sound advice, I've found it helpful, as the children grow older, to include them in the decision-making about what habits we want to develop. I tend to want to fix whatever is bothering me!...but there are benefits to fixing what is bothering others in the household such as more cooperation and natural motivation. I also hang a bunch of visual reminders all over the house, focusing on the habit. I see habit formation as character formation so whatever we're working on goes on our "Faith Board", a corkboard with all things faith based and liturgical, as a note or picture reminder and I try to follow-up on our efforts each morning at breakfast. My dh follows up once a week at a family meeting.
That's the plan, anyway  .
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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Willa
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| Posted: March 18 2009 at 12:58pm | IP Logged
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I find it helpful to be very specific. I keep charts, at least mentally.
It also helps me to have thought out WHY I want to spend the effort on the particular habit.
Once I know I really want to change X behavior, I try to think of exactly how it can best be approached. I try to walk through the situation in my mind.
I keep a list of habits as I notice the need for them. Even though I am only working on one or two at a time, I am "pre-thinking" several others.... I find I unconsciously lay some of the groundwork before I actually start actively training.
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Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
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Bookswithtea
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| Posted: March 18 2009 at 5:32pm | IP Logged
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teachingmyown wrote:
For us right now, we are having trouble getting out of bed. All of us. I know that I need to get this under control because it throws off the whole day. Between day light savings time and the fact that the sun refuses to shine, none of us (except for my poor dh who has no choice) feels that impetus to get up and get moving.
Good luck! |
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I'm so glad you said this. We are having the same problem since the time change! 7 o clock feels so darn early now. I wish sometimes I was in Arizona where there is no Daylight savings.
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Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and  due 9/10
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Getting into the habit of...habits...
