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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Dec 14 2008 at 11:29pm | IP Logged
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I'm reading my "Mother's Rule of Life".. and I'm stumped.. I get the feeling that if I could get the mornings moving along it would help.. but I am such not the morning person. I've been known to put in the wrong amount of ingredients in things like pancakes for breakfast (salty pancakes anyone?  ) if I don't have enough time to become coherant.
And I have some early bird children  and some that don't go to sleep early at night. and a baby nursing at night.. so I can't really get to bed much earlier without shorting couple time or get up early without shorting myself critical sleeping time.. plus I can get stuck nursing baby when I'm supposed to be getting up and that delays things.
So I need to somehow find something that will work to get us fed and doing stuff.. without me wasting time/money/food because I can't function normally for about 30-60 minutes after I wake up.
How do you do it? and do you find it working well?
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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mellyrose
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| Posted: Dec 15 2008 at 12:22am | IP Logged
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I do as much as I can the night before. Truly. If I don't have breakfast planned, errand items set out, clothes ready -- my mornings are a mess.
I need my sleep - although I haven't been getting much of it lately - but my day goes much smoother if I've taken care of morning things the night before.
Oh -- and I make pancakes and waffles for lunch or dinner around here. Sometimes I'll make eggs in the AM - but breakfasts usually are slow cooker oatmeal, cold cereal, sausage biscuits (that DH makes and freezes) or heating up frozen waffles / pancakes from previous batches. My kids know that if they want a hot breakfast, it'll have to come from dad. LOL!
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Melanie in AZ
Colin (11/00), Nate (05/02), Lydia (04/07)
My Little Patch of Sunshine
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Mamamoon
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| Posted: Dec 15 2008 at 9:55am | IP Logged
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jodie, you sound just like me! i have to nurse my cup of coffee about 30 minutes before i can even stand. my girls play, or watch their one, allowed show of the day on pbs, (not sure how old yours are), that is when i check my email, they boards etc.
then i can begin to function, but i agree, i do need my wake up time.
what about setting out the box of cereal the night before, and making fruit salad before hand. maybe they can even serve it themselves. the montessori way! you can pour some milk in a small pitcher and keep it in the fridge within their reach. and already have all the plates etc. on the table.
~ i would not try pancakes or anything like that on school days.
good luck,
lisa
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Dec 15 2008 at 12:12pm | IP Logged
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boxed cereal just doesn't go far enough here.. even the big "cheap" bags.. we go through one bag a meal plus at least a half gallon of milk for them.. and they're hungry again before lunch. Though the kids are perfectly capable of serving it themselves.
maybe I should look into this crockpot oatmeal. We made oatmeal for the kids this morning. that can be pretty cost effective.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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hylabrook1
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| Posted: Dec 15 2008 at 3:31pm | IP Logged
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Jodie -
As far as breakfast foods - could you pre-mix pancake dry ingredients and leave them in a covered bowl overnight? A good breakfast choice here has been toast(on homemade whole wheat bread) with peanutbutter, fruit, and milk. The children have been able to handle this with minimal intervention from me from a pretty young age. Coffee pot set up is also best done at the end of dinner dishes if I want to be sure the water goes into the pot and not all over the counter... 
Peace,
Nancy
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10 Bright Stars
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| Posted: Dec 15 2008 at 4:30pm | IP Logged
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Jodie,
I am exactly the same way. I can't stand it when the perky morning children get up and about before me and when I get downstairs they are already asking for this or that. I instantly feel stressed and out of sorts. I have found it is very helpful to get up before them, have a cup of coffee, or two , and try to say my morning offering, and read a snipet from the spiritual book I may be working on at the time or the Magnificat. For some reason, this gives me time to "wake up" mentally and I don't feel stressed when I hear the little ones shuffling about. If you go to bed at a set time each night, your body will eventually adjust to the new wake up time etc. It will feel horrible for about a week, and then you will start to get in the groove, even with nighttime interuptions.
I second having meals planned out the night before, even if it is just mentally prepared as far as what you are having, and then making sure you have all the ingredients. I think eggs and toast are easy enough, whereas if I try to make pancakes etc., I notice it takes so long, the kitchen is a mess afterwards etc. It might be worth keeping fancier breakfasts like that for Saturday mornings when Dad is home. For everyday, homemade, thawed frozen muffins or dressed up Bisquick bisquits (add a little sugar and cinnamon to the regular bisquit recipe and then add raisins; top with a powdered sugar glaze and serve with hard boiled eggs you made the night before on the side. You can peel them in the morning, cut them in half, and zap them for a few seconds if you like them warm. I don't like cereals for the kids either, although I do use them, but the little kids make SUCH a mess with the cereal. What about yogurt and fruit, or bagels and fruit with cream cheese etc??? Those are easy enough. I also like to make waffles and pancakes on Saturdays or freeze extras we make and then pop them in the toaster or the microwave.
I always like to think though that if I can prepare myself for the day ahead of time, it won't control me, I will be in control if it. I have beaten my head against the wall time and time again concerning MROL too. I think my perfectionistic tendencies prevent me from just "doing it" and picking a plan. If you lack a routine in the morning, which I do, then this can be an issue with implementing the MROL. (Obviously, the routine is the whole point of that book; instilling a habit or a rule into your life, BUT if you are not that sort of person, the type to live by rules or have habits, I have found it to be difficult.)
I was just thinking about habits and how to form them this morning when I was looking for the twins toothbrushes AGAIN! Every day, they lose them and I end up buying new ones. Why? Well, I tend to give them the toothbrush wherever I track them down and then they brush and we go to the nearest sink and then they get lost, or they wander off with them. When I was little, the toothbrush was in THE bathroom, and it never got lost. I thought this was an absolutely ridiculous problem I had created just because I was not disciplined about having them brush their teeth in a set bathroom. (Part of this problem stems from the fact of my fear of one of my twins eating toothpaste. She seems to have a propensity to do so, and I have to keep it in a closet in our bathroom, or in the medicine cabinet, and each kid keeps his or her toothbrush in their dresser in their rooms and a tube of paste. Odd?? I know!!! ) But, my point is, what do I expect if there is no routine to this ritual??
Anyway, if we don't have habits, we can't expect the day to flow smoothly. Imagine if we had to figure out a new route to work in the car each morning? That would be very stressful. We would never know what we would encounter, how long that particular route would take to get to work due to traffic or unexpected things happening etc. No, when we drive somewhere, we usually take the same route, know approximately how long it will take for us to get there, and know how to get there without a lot of mental effort. We know it "by heart". It is the same with our life and the mornings. If we don't have a plan for the day and get up just waiting for life to affect us and then reacting to whatever life brings us, it will be much the same as driving to work without a plan. (I just thought of this and had never really thought of all this in this way before!!! What a revelation to myself!! This has got me thinking. )
So, I would work on gently forming your OWN morning routine, where you recharge somehow. Is there something you look forward to in the morning? Coffee and quiet time perhaps? That might help you set aside that time to get your head "in the game". I also think one of the things that would come next is establishing a plan for the kids. I tend to give up with morning chores and the like when they get "hard", meaning the kids start to complain and I just figure it isn't worth the effort. I was just thinking about this this morning as well and about how Charlotte Mason said, "A mother who trains... etc....sets herself up for smooth and easy days." Well, I realized this morning that she (the mother) didn't just get those smooth and easy days by magic. When she had those hard days, the days the older kids complained or didn't do a good job with their schoolwork or their chores, or the little kids needed to be trained in a habit, she didn't just say, "Well, they aren't having fun so I feel guilty", or, "This is too HARD so why bother.". No, she kept at it and went PAST that point until she reached the promised land so to speak; the "smooth and easy days". I realized this morning as I surveyed my totally messy home that I always quit before I should when it comes to training the kids to work etc. It is easier to just attempt to do it all myself (hence the mess) without their help or not much of their help since it is annoying to go through it all. Then, I thought of the Duggarts (the MOm on t.v. with 17 kids) and how they seem to have it all together. She supposedly used MOTH and she did so since her life was chaotic beforehand. Anyway, maybe try MROL and just try to stick to it UNTIL it becomes habitual, usually 14 days I think.
I had actually wanted to post a question concerning HOW to establish habits and routines after my thoughts this morning to get some advice when I came upon your post. Maybe we can get a discussion going about:
1. how do you establish routines and habits in yourself? How do you make them "stick"?
2. how do you establish routines and habits in your children? How do you make them "stick" and become natural? Is there ever a point when you don't have to follow them all around or check things (I.e chores, habits) ?? Or, is that just part of it that you have to deal with daily?
3. What strategies do you use when things get tough (i.e. a bad morning when you don't FEEL like following the plan and want to do it "your way" or just react to the things that are happening. THEN what do you do??? This is where I always fail with schedules and things like MROL since sometimes I just want to give up on "the plan" and do what I think needs to be done at that moment that might not be "planned". How do you learn to stick to your own rules? It seems like a stupid question, but I sure do seem to have trouble with that one!!!
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Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Dec 15 2008 at 4:49pm | IP Logged
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oh yes Kim, exactly, this morning went pretty well.. my early risers couldn't resist the snow and bribed their way outside.. they asked to go out and shovel the driveway. Do they know how to bribe me or what?
But with them working outside the house was reasonably calm (small house, many people = chaos regardless) and I was able to get breakfast made (oatmeal) and get things generally picked up and we did some school today.
that's another thing.. the kids are totally nutty lately with the anticipation of the season..
You know what I do like about MROL though. Is that she showed big blocks of time.. things like with the example of Mother Theresa's schedule.. 3 hours or more with a lable like "work for the poor".
Hey, that means that if it changes each day they don't have to change the schedule, it means they don't feel conflicted about what's scheduled and what they'd like to do (within that context)..
wow.. so much of scheduling talk loses me when you start looking at 15 minute increments
But I think I can handle a block for chores, or a block for school. And then if we work on math the whole time because someone is almost done with their workbook and wants to get to the end.. I can let them.. and we don't have to worry because something else didn't get done.
But since the point is to look at what you need, to fit the schedule to you and not you to the schedule.. I'm currently just working through and trying to be realistic about what I want to try.
And the rest of the day can go decently if I can manage the morning.. but if I get up to chaos or if I get up too tired.. things just don't get done and makes the rest of the day much harder.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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10 Bright Stars
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| Posted: Dec 15 2008 at 7:23pm | IP Logged
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I just looked up forming habits in the search of old posts, and it looks like there is a discussion going on in the book club concerning this right now concerning "Education is..." a free download e-book and then "Laying Down the Rails" which is a new book I hadn't heard of either that deals with this exact topic (forming habits) Of course, I have lovely dial-up, so downloading the e-book is pretty much impossible. Anyway, very interesting things on habit in this discussion. I will try to get this e-book (somehow!!) and maybe get the book and get going with this study!
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Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: How do you get started in the mornings?
