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MrsM
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| Posted: Nov 01 2008 at 6:41pm | IP Logged
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My dd's best friend is a Protestant, and is attending Mass with us tomorrow for the first time. The daughter asked to go, and obviously we're happy to bring her. Her mom thinks it's a great idea, and she mentioned that we are all the Body of Christ, and maybe my dd can attend their church sometime with them. I felt really awkward telling ber that I couldn't say yes because our Church has a rule about that. I was caught off guard, and I know I could have handled it better, but we were outside and it was raining (she was dropping off her dd for a sleepover) and I couldn't think of a short explanation that would be helpful.
Can anyone give me some advice? I don't know the mom very well, but they go to an evangelical Protestant church that does a lot of very good work in the area--pro-life, pro-family, working with youth and the poor. I know they share many of our values. Should I call the mom and explain a little more? If so, what should I say?
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Lynn in California
Homeschooling dd13, dd11, ds10, and ds8
Mom to Miracle Baby ds3
Mom to darling Elizabeth and Francis, held in Mary's arms and always in my heart
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Michaela
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| Posted: Nov 01 2008 at 7:01pm | IP Logged
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MrsM wrote:
| I couldn't say yes because our Church has a rule about that. |
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The Catholic Church doesn't have a rule against attending Protestant churches. However, we are not to receive Communion in their church.
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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St. Ann
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| Posted: Nov 01 2008 at 7:09pm | IP Logged
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Lynn, I always thought that we may attend a protestant service as long as we don't miss our Sunday Mass obligations. But, then again, there is a lot I don't know.
I would call and thank her for the kind invitation, and suggest,If you do reconsider and allow your dd to go with them, that you go as well.
In any case, thanking her is surely in order.
It seems that I often get caught in such awkward situations and just can't think quickly enough or clearly enough, without having such an unsatisfactory feeling afterward, as if I could have handled the situation a lot better. Often enough, the other was not put out at all...it was just my own insecurity.
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Stephanie
Wife and mother to Hannah '96, Maria '99, Dorothea '01, Helena '03
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MrsM
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| Posted: Nov 01 2008 at 7:33pm | IP Logged
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Thanks, Stephanie, for your suggestion--it's certainly possible that my unease is a result of my own insecurity, because she didn't indicate that she was upset, but reiterated her belief in the Body of Christ being one.
Michaela, Church documents indicate that we may occasionally attend a non-Catholic church. This would be for things like weddings, funerals, special family occasions, etc. But because my dd is 11yo, I don't feel that it would be prudent to allow her to attend a church service that I'm not familiar with. I probably didn't choose my words very well when I said that there is a rule against it. It's the first thing that popped into my mind.
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Lynn in California
Homeschooling dd13, dd11, ds10, and ds8
Mom to Miracle Baby ds3
Mom to darling Elizabeth and Francis, held in Mary's arms and always in my heart
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Michaela
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| Posted: Nov 03 2008 at 10:58pm | IP Logged
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Lynn, please forgive the curtness of my answer. My little one was on my lap at the time. I hope you don't mind too much that I've brought your plea for help back to the top. 
MrsM wrote:
| I probably didn't choose my words very well when I said that there is a rule against it. It's the first thing that popped into my mind. |
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Your wording was just fine. Actually, you didn't specifically write that there is a rule against it. Ecumenism is one of those occasional reasons.
If you choose to reciprocate, Stephanie's suggestion to attend with your dd is a good one.
I'm not helpful here since my experience is with my Baptist brother. His looong church service is the same time as both Masses at our parish. My children have been invited, but I've declined.
I hope the sleepover went well, and your dd's friend enjoyed the Mass.
You have my prayers, Lynn.
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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MrsM
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| Posted: Nov 05 2008 at 2:40pm | IP Logged
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Thanks guys--I did talk to the mom, and you were right, Stephanie. She wasn't offended at all. Phew! Turns out I was panicking unnessarily.  This friendship is really important to my dd, and I didn't want to inadvertantly cause a rift.
Mass went very well, by the way. It was being celebrated for the deceased members of the K of C, and the color guard was there in full regalia. Father sang beautifully in Latin, and had a very inspiring homily. I don't think this dear little girl had experienced anything like it before. She said that it was very beautiful. Yay!
Thanks again! 
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Lynn in California
Homeschooling dd13, dd11, ds10, and ds8
Mom to Miracle Baby ds3
Mom to darling Elizabeth and Francis, held in Mary's arms and always in my heart
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: In Desperate Need of Advice
