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MarilynW
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My dh has just told me that his boss wants us to go with him to a black tie dinner in DC. Help - can someone educate me as to what dress code is required for this - does my husband need a tuxedo? will I have to wear a long evening dress? The babysitter question may be solved as I think my inlaws will be here on vacation. But I am a little panicky about the dress thing (especially since I am still desperately trying to find fall clothes before the weather turns cold) - where would I get a size 2P evening dress from? I do actually have my ball dresses from college still - but way too short - and would make me look like "mutton dressed up as lamb!!"
Any advice would be appreciated.
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Marilyn
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missionfamily
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Marilyn, It appears if they are using "black tie" in the true sense, it would be tuxes and long dresses...I found this article:
Formal Attire – Black & White Tie
Guest Author - Kennie Brown
Most of us will probably have very few if any opportunities to dress in full formal attire. In this day and age of ease and comfort, most events are easily met by wearing semi-formal attire. Nevertheless, the girl within me, the one who loves fairy tales and romantic endings, loves the idea of being able to attend an event in full formal dress. There’s something about formal attire that makes events, and your attendance there, all the more important.
Black Tie
Whereas, semi-formal attire is only slightly formal, black tie can be described as truly formal. For men, suits are appropriate for semi-formal attire, but when asked it dress in black tie attire, men move from suits to tuxedos. For women, the dress is typically the same with the exception of extended hemlines.
In recent years, there has been a trend of using dress code terms such as Black Tie Optional (which means a tuxedo would be nice but you can wear a suit if you’d rather), Black Tie Preferred (which means we would really rather you to wear Black Tie and you will be out of place if you wear Semi-Formal but we won’t throw you out). In both cases, I recommend wearing the black tie if at all possible, but of course this is at your discretion.
Suitable Articles of Clothing:
Women:
Women should wear formal gowns which extend to the floor. Slits are fine, but insure that they do not extend to a point where they become too revealing. Gloves are optional.
Men:
Tuxedo or formal suit (if Optional or Preferred) which includes: black dinner jacket, vest/cummerbund (the cummerbund is more popular in America), crisp white tuxedo shirt, black dress slacks with a satin or silk stripe down the leg that matches the dinner jacket and leather dress shoes. In regards to neckwear, there are many different options that can be chosen for either the tux or the suit, from a four-in-hand tie, to a button cover and back to the traditional bow tie.
**It is acceptable to wear a white dinner jacket during the summer months.
Appropriate Fabric and Materials:
Women:
Formal gowns should be made of special occasion materials such as Taffeta, Chiffon, Silk, Satin, Sateen, Gossamer, Brocade, Rayon, Velour, Velvet, Velveteen, Lace and etc.
**Please note: It is quite alright to wear embellishments on your dress such as beads, sequins, etc.
Men:
Wools are a very common material used for tuxedo jackets. That would include Tweed, Flannel and Mohair to name a few. Nevertheless, you will find some tuxedo jackets that are also made of silk, cashmere, gabardine, cotton, and polyester.
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missionfamily
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Another thought: Perhaps it would be worth checking into renting a gown? I'm sure in such close proximity to D.C. there are places that rent women's formal wear as well as men...also, trunk or second-hand formal stores may be a good option...in our area there are some run by the Junior League that carry formal wear.
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Colleen
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MarilynW
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Thanks so much for the information Colleen. Hmm - my dh HATES tuxedos and dressing up in general. I will have him check with his boss as to whether it is a formal black tie. We are on such a tight budget right now that buying and even renting is going to be tough. (I miss those English university towns with their charity shops where you can buy lovely used evening gowns and tuxedos for a few pounds  )
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Lisbet
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marilyn, It may sound tacky, but I have found that our local Goodwill sells formal gowns and my dd's scour the racks there for dress-up. When they do this, I have seen some very pretty gowns. Also, a local more upscale consignment shop may be a good place to look.
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Betsy
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Don't forget to check second hand bridal stores. Winter brides maid dresses would be appropriate for the occasion.
Betsy
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stefoodie
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i second the suggestion for goodwill. esp. goodwills in upscale neighborhoods or near one. my dd's going to homecoming this saturday in a $4.00 full-length gorgeous red chiffon gown, that looks like it was made for her (we got lucky with the fit).
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JodieLyn
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And for buying new but cheap.. you might check http://www.coldwatercreek.com they have petites and smaller sizes and they have great sales in their outlet area and I'm sure I've seen some formalwear there.
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Mary Chris
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Marilyn,
Can you see me sticking my tongue at you????? really a size 2P!
We went to the Leukemia Ball last year, I got my dress at Nordstrom. I'd lend it to you, but lets just say you would swim in it. I did also find something at Nordstrom Rack that I took back.
Do you have a black cocktail dress that you can wear. You could do that if you dressed it up with pearls or fancy shawl and high heels. I think DC is pretty dressy.
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CrunchyMom
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Modest Clothes Directory
There are a ton of beautiful dresses on these sites. I don't know how soon you need the dress, but I thought of these stores since many of them make the dresses to order (from size 0 on up); so, the size thing would be easier to deal with. Some of them are quite expensive, but others seem reasonable, and I didn't look through them all by any stretch (I remember looking through some of them for my sister's wedding a couple of years ago).
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Fuzzy
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Marilyn, that sounds so wonderful! I love dressing up, and I may even have something in my closet for you. I will do some looking! Let me know if you are interested. Not that I am a 2P right now, Mary Chris.....
The place I would suggest to buy is Ann Taylor (sometimes even the sale has great finds), as they have petite sizes and beautiful options.
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Cay Gibson
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Mary Chris wrote:
Marilyn,
Can you see me sticking my tongue at you????? really a size 2P!
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I've never seen Marilyn.
I was really hoping that 2P meant 2PLUS. 
 Not really. Just joking.
Me ~ who lost that lean, mean figure several years ago. 
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Mary Chris
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Fuzzy and Marilyn, you know I love you even though your skinny and petite.
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MarilynW
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Mary Chris wrote:
| Fuzzy and Marilyn, you know I love you even though your skinny and petite. |
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Mary Chris and Cay you are hilarious. Actually MC, I think I can probably get into a 4P too - does that make you feel better. And most of the time I wear such baggy diaphanous things - well I could be any size! My dd has appointed herself my fashion consultant - I think she is trying to smarten me up. (Does not help that she takes any nice clothes I actually do have)
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MarilynW
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Thank you all for the great suggestions. I called around some of the local consignment stores - most have not got any formal wear in yet. We do not have good thrift or goodwill stores around - believe me - before I spent any of my fall clothes budget for the kids, I visited all the local ones - really disappointing.
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Marilyn
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MarilynW
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Fuzzy wrote:
Marilyn, that sounds so wonderful! I love dressing up, and I may even have something in my closet for you. I will do some looking! Let me know if you are interested. Not that I am a 2P right now, Mary Chris.....
The place I would suggest to buy is Ann Taylor (sometimes even the sale has great finds), as they have petite sizes and beautiful options. |
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Fuzzy - you are such a sweetie! I think you may be smaller than I am (how do you have those huge babies? share your secret, as I have not yet had a 7lber!!) I would be so interested if you do find something in your closet - just the idea of shopping is stressing me out!
You know - I used to shop Ann Taylor when I worked downtown years ago - I have not been in an AT store for years!
I love dressing up too - just say a prayer that this horrid eczema clears up - I would like to have some clear skin for the dinner 
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guitarnan
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Don't forget about evening separates...a couple of years ago Elizabeth found a beautiful outfit that was a lacy off-white blouse and elegant black skirt for a gala event...
Depending on how much time you have, you could go online and order something on sale. A couple of years ago I got a long, flowing black skirt from Nordstrom's clearance pages for about $30 and have paired it since with all kinds of evening tops and sweaters (also clearance). (Sadly, I have never been petite - I tower over MC - or I'd offer to lend you my skirt. You could probably tie it around your neck and belt it and it would still be too long!)
Just a thought...there are many ways to do formal on a budget!
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Mary Chris
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The outfit I picked out last year was also separates. A nice black skirt can go a long way.
Marilyn, sadly, long, long ago, I was a 4.
My dd is trying to smarten me up also. You should have seen the look on her face when I told her I worked at Laura Ashley and then showed her some of the clothes I bought there.
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guitarnan
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I saved my lovely Laura Ashley dresses...some day they will be back in style...
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Katie
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Marilyn, try Ebay! Seriously. I just got a gorgeous dress for my siter's wedding for 1.99 plus shipping. I am so happy!
Here's a link to a quick search I did for you: Evening 2P - Ebay Search
I hope you find something you love.
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Help - Black Tie Dinner?
