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Bookswithtea
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| Posted: Nov 05 2005 at 9:14am | IP Logged
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Sigh...I don't know how I am *ever* going to make it through this preteen/teen phase...and to think I am going to have to do this at least 5 times???
Dh and I are music enthusiasts. We've always been very selective in the music our kids listen to, but I do know we allow more options than some other hsing families. Ds's favorites are u2 and the Beatles, but he also loves some protestant groups like Jars of Clay, smooth jazz, and oldies in general. He also listens to classical on occasion. :-) We do not allow unsupervised listening to regular rock stations. I told him that just like tv and movies, some of this stuff is rated R and we need to be selective, as Christians. He knows dh and I choose to censor our own choices too, so he's never really said much about it.
We've been allowing him to listen to a local station that plays pop Protestant Rock (we didn't introduce him to it, his hsed cousin did). I think some of the theology is a bit screwy (Big Big house in Heaven where we are going to play football??? gimmee a break!) but it seems harmless enough and I usually comment on the theology here and there just to remind him not to believe everything he hears in a song lyric. 
He's now going to a protestant hsing coop once a week. He loves it. He's hanging out with a crowd of 12-14 yr old boys who listen to the "other" protestant station...the one that plays knock off's of Evanescence and Linkin Park (basically, Christian thrasher music).
He's starting to get some flack about all of this. Ds is not one to really care that he likes different things (football and music were the subjects brough up). So he asked dh and I what to do about this kind of thing, in general.
First, can I just say I am soooo happy he asked us? 
We talked about how its important to stand up for what you love/believe and not be ashamed about it, but that there's nothing wrong with watching a football game now and again on Sundays just so he knows what everyone is talking about on class day.
So after a day or two of thinking about it, he asked if he can listen to the Christian Thrasher station. 
Dh and I are previewing it. I can't tell you if the lyrics are theologically screwy because I can't hear them (and I'm usually pretty good at that sort of thing, too). I suspect some of it is intended as an alternative for kids who have lived rough lives and made a lot of poor choices (which means some of the lyrics might talk about icky stuff in a Christian sort of way). I went to the station's web site and they are pushing a phone number/web site for kids who have questions about "life, s*x, etc," which is basically a Christian hotline. I previewed *that* web site, and saw a whole link devoted to "Did you know God hates religion?" The main point being, of course, that God loves relationship but has no love for religion (grrrrrrrrrr)...
Ds is a good kid. I am not really worried that listening to a station like this is going to turn him into a kid who wears black eyeliner and dies his hair purple. But then again, maybe I don't understand teens and I should be more worried!
So anyway, does anyone have children who are listening to this kind of music? What do you allow in your homes? Any advice on how to proceed?
Blessings,
~Books
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Leonie
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| Posted: Nov 05 2005 at 4:51pm | IP Logged
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My sixteen year old listens to Christian pop punk - KeliantK, MXPX, Hawk Nelson. I like some of the songs, too. 
These are all Protestant. We also have a CD from a band of a local AOG church, where one of our hs friends plays guitar. And we have a CD of the Youth Band from the Cathedral in Adelaide. All Christian rock or pop music.
I am happy with the music - it *is nice to hear a catchy tune with lyrics that are not sexually explicit and that talk about God.
And,no, my son doesn't wear eyeliner or have dyed hair.
In fact, he also listens to classical music and folk music and jazz.
I think its great that your ds is talking to you about the music issue!
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Leonie in Sydney
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MaryM
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| Posted: Nov 05 2005 at 5:09pm | IP Logged
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Bookswithtea wrote:
| First, can I just say I am soooo happy he asked us? |
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That's great - a real open dialogue and that he respects your opinion about this is good. I don't have much time now, but remembered that there was a long thread this summer about teens and music with very interesting discussion.
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Mary M. in Denver
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Bookswithtea
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| Posted: Nov 05 2005 at 5:38pm | IP Logged
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Mary, thank you so much for the link to the previous thread! Somehow I missed that while reading the archives. Lots and lots of good thoughts there.
After thinking about it some more, I think I like what Tracy said about trying to keep the balance being generally positive in tone, and what Julie said about allowing our children's tastes to emerge with us helping and being a part of the process, rather than squelching it and sending it underground. One difference between my ds and Julie's son is that his interest in this new station is not because he likes the music...its because he feels left out in the social scene at his hs group and wants to fit in a little bit better.
I guess I gave away that our family listens to a lot of music too, when I mentioned that this station sounds like bands dh and I are familiar with (Linkin Park and Evanescence). We own Creed and a lot of other cd's that are not available to my kids. I treat them like a few movies we own that we love but are not for children. I guess I'm hoping that as ds gets older, we can work more on teaching discernment and how to self censor with trashy lyrics or trashy movies/tv. And then hope for the best and know that at some point, he will probably watch it all, just to find out what we've been talking about!
My main concern is not that he never ever see or hear this stuff. I just don't want it to form his likes and dislikes so that he is desensitized (with movies/music) to violence/sex/ or to the objectification of women (with music). I hope to help him maintain his love for jazz, soft rock, Mozart, and other great music.
I think CD's are going to be on the Christmas list for ds this year...and I think I'll try to provide a variety of options rather than trying to control and encourage only one genre.
Thanks so much. And I'm totally open to more suggestions and thoughts if anyone wants to share!
~Books
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MaryM
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| Posted: Nov 06 2005 at 5:06pm | IP Logged
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Bookswithtea wrote:
| One difference between my ds and Julie's son is that his interest in this new station is not because he likes the music...its because he feels left out in the social scene at his hs group and wants to fit in a little bit better. |
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That is so typical of that age. So he may listen right now to not feel out of the loop, but if it doesn't interest him that likely won't last. As he gets to know more kids he may find others who are just going along as well and might have interests similar to his. Or he may as he time goes by find they are more open to his different interests in music just by having the strength to stand up for it.
I was also going to share that there is a Catholic music station for teens on the web - it's calledOmega Rock. It's founded by Fr. Bailey Clemens (a wonderful priest who was in the Peoria, Ill. diocese, but recently was able to transfer to his home diocese of Baker City, OR where my parents live - they are very happy to have him there.) Anyway, the station plays a mix of Catholic and Christian artists of different musical genres. Since it is Catholic they don't play any Christian music that would be misleading or theologically problematic. It's another option. Fr. Clemens was interviewed on this topic on "This Rock" radio show a few years back. Listen to the radio show here. It's July 18th on the calendar.
Then in reading my Faith and Family this week I see they highlighted a site called Phatmass (which stands for "Preaching Holy Apostolic Truth"). The site has a listing of Catholic musicians in the rock, hip-hop, rap genres with some links and albums. In general it's a pretty cool site for teens and genXers (even stuff there for the "older" crowd).
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Patrick
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| Posted: Nov 06 2005 at 10:39pm | IP Logged
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I listen to a fair amount of that "Protestant Rock." The lyric quality varies considerably. That's not necessarily a bad thing though. On the lighter stations there's generally nothing but very Protestant music. A fair number of the Christian rock bands are either Catholic and don't admit it or they just get lucky with their lyrics.
Kutless, Newsboys, P.O.D, Five Iron Frenzy/Brave Saint Saturn/Roper(the same guy is behind all three bands), Sixpence None the Richer, Smalltown Poets, and 38th Parallel are a few that at least have Catholic elements in them or have some Catholic members if they're not completely Catholic. Some bands are from the closer Protestant denominations and don't contradict the Catholic faith such as Switchfoot, which has Anglican members and even has a song about St. Augustine. I'm pretty sure that Jars of Clay is Methodist, but that's speculation based on their lyrics and concerts.
One thing that might be a concern is that there are often Christian rock festivals, which bring together a lot of great bands, but they pretty much always have altar calls. They also often have silly evangelical commercials on the radio stations that have funny theology.
I hope this helped some.
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Leonie
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| Posted: Nov 06 2005 at 11:10pm | IP Logged
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Hey Patrick, I like the Newsboys. 
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Leonie in Sydney
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Bookswithtea
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| Posted: Nov 07 2005 at 6:32am | IP Logged
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Patrick wrote:
I listen to a fair amount of that "Protestant Rock." The lyric quality varies considerably. That's not necessarily a bad thing though. On the lighter stations there's generally nothing but very Protestant music. A fair number of the Christian rock bands are either Catholic and don't admit it or they just get lucky with their lyrics.
Kutless, Newsboys, P.O.D, Five Iron Frenzy/Brave Saint Saturn/Roper(the same guy is behind all three bands), Sixpence None the Richer, Smalltown Poets, and 38th Parallel are a few that at least have Catholic elements in them or have some Catholic members if they're not completely Catholic. Some bands are from the closer Protestant denominations and don't contradict the Catholic faith such as Switchfoot, which has Anglican members and even has a song about St. Augustine. I'm pretty sure that Jars of Clay is Methodist, but that's speculation based on their lyrics and concerts.
One thing that might be a concern is that there are often Christian rock festivals, which bring together a lot of great bands, but they pretty much always have altar calls. They also often have silly evangelical commercials on the radio stations that have funny theology.
I hope this helped some. |
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Thank you. This is very helpful. I'm familiar with a few of those (Switchfoot, Sixpence,Kutless, Newsboys, POD). A few of them crossed over into the mainstream once or twice, didn't they? Ds listens to Switchfoot and Sixpence on the lighter rock station already.
Ds is only 12...I'm not sure we'll be getting into the music festivals...at least not yet. The goofy theology thing in the commercials irritates the heck outta me, but that may be because I am less than 5 yrs away from evangelicalism myself. Its probably not a reason to avoid it altogether, though.
Thanks again!
~Books
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time4tea
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Yes, Jars of Clay are definitely Methodists. They were a local band in the Rochester, NY area where we used to live, before making it national in the early to mid '90's. The Odmark family attended the same Free Methodist Church that we attended at the time (we are converts).
As mentioned, both dh and I are converts to the Catholic Faith and I in particular used to love Protestant Christian rock, and kept many of my old cassettes around. My younger ds loves music, so I began directing him to listen o those cassettes over the secular stuff out there. Well, my older ds began objecting pretty quickly to the lyrics, because he noticed some things were being mentioned in them that were not correct. For example, for those of you familiar with the 80's-90's Christian Band, "Petra", the song entitled "Creed" specifically leaves out the part of the Apostles' Creed that says "I believe in one holy, Catholic and apostolic Church," but does include the rest of the words of the Creed in the lyrics. I was really pleased that my older ds (who at the time was, like, 10 or 11 yrs. old), was able to pick up on that. Now, I direct my younger ds to the Catholic Music Network, www.catholicmusicnetwork.com . You can hear sample tracks from numerous Catholic musicians of varying styles, and they even give a discount to homeschoolers. We have purchased several cd's from them and have been very pleased.
Hope this helps!
God bless,
Jenny
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tovlo4801
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| Posted: Nov 07 2005 at 11:58am | IP Logged
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Patrick wrote:
| One thing that might be a concern is that there are often Christian rock festivals, which bring together a lot of great bands, but they pretty much always have altar calls. |
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Our family are regulars at the local Christian rock festivals. We don't do the more young adult focused one in the area, but tend toward the more family focused ones. We've been going for years with our now 12 yo son.
We are Christian music fans here, but it's a family thing. There are discussions about the lyrics that might be troublesome. At the festivals we talk to our son about the altar calls. He always looks at us when they ask people to stand up or raise their hands. We listen carefully to what they are asking and if it's basic Christian theology we nod and say go ahead, if it's objectionable we shake our head and explain why to him later. Actually that was earlier on. Now he's pretty good about discerning what's acceptable and what's not.
This summer a local Catholic church put on a Christian music festival. We were relieved because we could enjoy the music without any of the altar call concerns. We were surprised then when they had an altar call.
I leaned over to my husband and said, "Which one of us is going to pretend to be saved so we can find out what they're giving out?" He laughed, but we were concerned. We wandered over to the tent and discovered that they were passing out ecumenical information about local churches of all denominations and also general Christian information from the ALPHA program. We thought they handled it very well. The volunteers in the tent were members of the local Catholic church that sponsored the event. Really kind of a neat thing. We'll definitely continue to go to that festival.
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: teens and protestant rock
