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dollylima
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| Posted: Aug 21 2008 at 4:17pm | IP Logged
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My husband and I became parents together quickly after getting married. I have an eight year-old whose father passed away when he was very young and my husband has three children from a previous marriage, one of whom lives with us half the week, but attends public school.
I was not sure what to do about school for this year because we have the little one in the house and I work outside the home on the weekends. I had been, until I went on maternity leave, working weekends as a nurse in a different state (three hour drive one way) where my parents would watch my son for the weekend and then we would drive back together. Homeschooling proved to be a perfect fit because it gave us the freedom to travel like this. I am basically the primary breadwinner in our household, as the area where we live is extremely depressed in terms of economics and my husband's job barely pays a living wage.
I have told my husband that I wish to continue to homeschool my son this year and his response is that he is concerned that there is not going to be "time for us".
I have been praying that my husband will find a better job, but there apparently isnt anything better in the area, at least nothing for which he is suited.
So, I can';t stop working right now. And I dont want to put my child in public school and my baby in daycare.
This leaves me with figuring out how to make sure we make time for our relationship.
Oh and taking care of myself.
How do you all do it?
Also, Id appreciate your prayers with regard to the job situation. I really really do not want to go back to work.
__________________
Heather
instantkiwi
Wife to Tim
Mama to Ian 2/27/00
Mama to MaryElise 7/22/08
Step-mom to Abby, Logan and Luke
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aussieannie
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Joined: May 21 2006
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Aug 21 2008 at 4:22pm | IP Logged
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Heather, I'm praying for you and your dh, I can understand your desires to make all this work the best way possible and wishing that the need to work will vanish, I'll be praying your dh can find suitable work. God bless!
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Under Her Starry Mantle
Spiritual Motherhood for Priests
Blessed with 3 boys & 3 girls!
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Aug 21 2008 at 4:35pm | IP Logged
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Remember that bedtimes are for the parents.. not the children so much.
You can teach your children to go to bed and stay there.. let them read if you feel it's too early to expect sleep.
And you can make a block of time.. even just 30 minutes if that's all you have.. be "our time" and then go back to other work that has to be done in the evening.. no tv, no computer etc.. and I know many couples that have a set night a week that is their "date night" whether they go anywhere or not. Often for those kids old enough.. they just retreat to their bedroom leaving the kids with a movie or such.. they might have dessert or watch their own movie or whatever.. it's just a private room where they can spend time alone. Or maybe go sit outside (porch, patio, deck) but just using somewhere around the house (so no need for babysitters) that the kids aren't allowed for that time.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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10 Bright Stars
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Joined: Nov 16 2006
Location: Virginia
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| Posted: Aug 22 2008 at 2:35pm | IP Logged
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Heather,
MOVE!!  Sounds like that might help, but other than that, I agree with the bedtime advice. We always have a set bedtime for our sanity as much as the kids health.
Something my husband and I have enjoyed since we have 8 children and can't really "go out" is to have a date night on the deck. For awhile, we had a date night every Sat. night. The kids would watch a movie and my eldest would "babysit" for us even though we were right outside. We usually have a fire out there in the fall and winter which makes it seem special. We usually grill something, since my husband likes to busy himself if he is outside, and have a glass of wine and chat. Usually, some of the little ones will wander out eventually, but we had a good hour or two to chat and catch up and it was always something I looked forward to! I will have to remind him of this since we only do this about once a month now for some reason. Maybe I will start again tomorrow.
I do think there is a tendency to put the "squeaky wheels" needs first. Of course the children's needs are obviously of utmost importance, but we have to make sure we are PRO-active in our husband's needs and not just RE-active. Make him some special cookies or a nice meal. Keep the house quiet now and then and tell him that you wanted him to get some rest etc. If they feel special or thought of, then they don't mind the time that you have to focus on all the kids.
I think it sounds do-able. Since your kids are smaller, you can maybe just stick to the important stuff and try to do more while husband is away at work. Might as well try it. It will probably be important that you try to highlight all the positive aspects of school and having the kids home as opposed to ever complaining since if you do, he will probably say, "See, I told you it was too stressful." So, keep it positive.
__________________
Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Tending your marriage with a full plate
