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stefoodie
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| Posted: Aug 04 2008 at 11:47am | IP Logged
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Just needed to vent here a bit. This morning we went to our monthly co-op pick-up and while there the coordinator came to me to hand me my receipt. I was making out my check and she was making small talk -- which amounted to "she (my dd-17 who was sitting beside me in the car) must be bummed about the pregnancy, blah blah blah...."  I didn't even hear what else she said, I just know it was something negative. But it didn't really register with dd or me until I had handed her the check and she had walked away. The nerve!!!! And we were kicking ourselves on the way home that we didn't get to say something pro-life. I don't see eye-to-eye with this lady some of the time, e.g., once she complained about my siggy on our e-list because I had a Chesterton quote there,  etc. and I stopped ordering for a while because of that. Now I'm really stopping for good! It's just not worth it anymore. She thinks she's being nice but she's just so out there. And I'm still a bit annoyed at myself that I didn't get to say something like, "Of course she's not bummed, are you kidding? Our kids have been BEGGING for more babies!" ARGH. 
Anyway, vent over. Just made me appreciate you gals all the more. 
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stef
mom to five
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mary
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| Posted: Aug 04 2008 at 12:04pm | IP Logged
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i don't get why pple feel that it is okay to say those kinds of things. you know there are several other coops in the area - i'm off to go pick up ours. you'd fit right in. 
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Lisbet
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Oh Stef I so know how you feel. I always think "I should've said" when I get home. I just mumble the dumbest things at the time though...
A funny thing, I've been getting SO much negativity this time around, more than I ever remember before. But twice this summer I've been around like minded Catholic mama's when someone has said something to me. Once, I was literally surrounded by 6 other open to life Catholic mothers when a young girl (kids old swim coach), gasped in horror upon realizing that I was pregnant 'again'. These ladies were such wonderful cheerleaders that I didn't need to say a word!
The other time, I was at a loca coffee house with a friend of mine. The barista for some odd reason, began relating a story to us about a family she saw with 5 kids and one on the way (she overheard me saying something about being pregnant and cutting out caffine...) She said something about this family being the poster family for birth control. My friend and I just giggled until the barista looked at us quizically. My friend said, "We are the wrong women to to share this story with considering that beween the two of us we have 19 children!"  The barista turned bright red and said, "I didn't think people did that anymore." To which my friend replied, "Did what? Sex? Oh honey I'm so sorry you think that. We do it and we even invite God in!" 
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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Vanna
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| Posted: Aug 04 2008 at 12:14pm | IP Logged
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LOL Lisbet! How funny!
I just ran into my son's best friend's mom at the grocery store and found out she is 7 months pregnant with her 6th. I was shocked because her son hadn't said a word about it. She said that her two oldest weren't telling anyone about the new baby because they were tired of everyone knowing that their parents had sex.
I'm sorry that people say such rude things to you ladies. I just can't imagine why anyone would look at a new baby as anything but a blessing.
((hugs))
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Wife to K  Mommy to B (ds18) and G (ds8)
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JodieLyn
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LOL Lisa.. oh that's great!!
I just spent the weekend explaining to people that I have 8 kids and 3 were swimming (the 4th wasn't up to the districts - stricter rules - yet)
Don't think I got any rude comments. Actually, we got several nice comments.. we took the kids to ice cream after going to Mass Saturday evening and the people there loved the kids commented on how nice our family was and how well behaved the kids were.
Oh and for a change evening Mass was actually simple.. the 4 youngest fell asleep.. boy does that make it easy to have them behave
Oh and Stef, sometimes the best comment can be silence.. that slightly long pause after an inappropriate remark and then changing the topic.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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doris
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Stef, even if you didn't say anything, the very fact that you're having another baby is a witness to this lady and everyone else. I read a really good blog post about the 'martyrdom of witness' -- I've lost the link because of computer troubles but basically it was saying that most of us won't be called to the martyrdom of blood, but many of us have to be martyrs to the extent that most of the people around us think that we're bonkers...
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Home educating in London, UK with dd (2000) ds (2002), dd (2004), ds (2008) and dd (2011).
Frabjous Days
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stefoodie
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| Posted: Aug 04 2008 at 5:13pm | IP Logged
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Mary, you made me miss my previous co-op (Angie Mc and momtomany and I were all together!  ) although we do have one other family now in the co-op that has 6 children and always places huge orders (maybe the coordinator is more afraid of offending her ).
That's so funny, Lisa. I bet that comment is going to stay with her for a long time. LOL!!
Jodie and Doris, you're right. I just was wishing I could have provided a different perspective, you know? So she can see that other people don't see things her way all the time... but yeah. Maybe we at least get her to think that even without saying anything... thanks.
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stef
mom to five
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Kristie 4
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| Posted: Aug 04 2008 at 5:42pm | IP Logged
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That's too funny Lisa
When I lived on a remote reservation our family of four children was so normal- a sort of starter size. But when we would go into Vancouver I always heard the comments like, "Oh, you could almost have your own basketball team", or "Are you child-minding?" (I looked much younger than my age at the time- but those days are over ). This was with just 4 kids, so I feel with you moms who have more.
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Kristie in Canada
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Mackfam
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| Posted: Aug 04 2008 at 9:45pm | IP Logged
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I can relate so well, Stef! It does feel comforting to come back here after an episode like that though, doesn't it!
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Jen Mackintosh
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Wildflowers and Marbles
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Kicking Ourselves: Missed Opportunity
