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folklaur
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| Posted: May 24 2008 at 8:44pm | IP Logged
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Okay. I need help. I know I sound stupid. But.
I am blue.
Our new house is bigger and nicer than the one in AZ. I have a view of mountains out the window, and a grassy backyard that has had a bunch of neat birds.
I don't care, I want my old house.
The weather has been gorgeous. It was 108 degrees the day we left Phx! HOT! It has been in the 70's here in Vegas - and it rained. I LOVE weather like this.
I don't care, I would rather go back to miserable hot Phx.
I don't want to go anywhere, I don't even want to get out of bed. I have NEVER felt like this in my life. Anxiety - okay, I know what that feels like - but this "I don't care" feeling is horrible, and I can't shake it.
My agoraphobia is out-of-control. And I don't even care, as I don't want to go anywhere.
And it is really weird, but after having six months of "doing things my way" and DH doing things his way, we are irritating each other in little ways. He hasn't said a thing about it ( I think he feels bad cuz he knows how bad I feel) but everything is driving me crazy - and I can tell I've bugged him a few times, even though he hasn't said. Stupid things like recycling bins are making me angry.
Today is my anniversary. And I forgot until last night.
Will it just take time to adjust? How long? I just have never experienced anything like this. I half-think it is a good thing I have Anxiety/Agoraphobia because I can't drive myself back to Phx.....
help...
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guitarnan
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| Posted: May 24 2008 at 9:00pm | IP Logged
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Moving is so, so hard, Laura, even when you WANT to move. Add in the six-month separation (even with visits) and you have another big adjustment to handle. Plus, you're the heart of your home, so everyone depends on you to make them feel happy and settled. Stress - it's what's for dinner.
In the Navy, they give couples free counseling to help them re-integrate after deployments - that's how stressful it can be.
Please give yourself (and dh) permission to be homesick, sad, tired, stressed, worried and sick of boxes. You have been through a lot.
Having said that, if you feel truly overwhelmed, don't wait until things are horrific to seek outside help, especially if you already have known anxiety issues.
Can you and dh go for a walk or out for a quiet meal to reconnect - maybe even more than once or twice?
Also, please consider that you might have Seasonal Affective Disorder, esp. if you are used to tons of sun, and rain could easily get you down (I have it, so I know).
{{{hugs}}} and prayers are speeding your way from me! (Nine moves in 23 years...I know how you feel!)
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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MaryM
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| Posted: May 24 2008 at 9:04pm | IP Logged
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Oh, Laura  . Yes, it will take time - how much - that's going to be different for everyone. It won't be over night. But just take it one day at a time. I haven't moved in many years but up until moving here we did move every 3 or so years for quite a while. I always had a real longing for the "old" place for quite a time, but as you get familiar and into the new routines and exciting things about the new location it gets better. I'll pray for you and for that adjustment.
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Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
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Jen L.
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| Posted: May 24 2008 at 9:09pm | IP Logged
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Laura, you don't sound stupid at all!
I can't add to the great advice you have already gotten, but I am praying for you.
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Jen
dh Klete,ds (8/95),dd (12/97), dd (11/00), and ^2^ in heaven
"...the best state in which to glorify God is our actual state; the best grace is that of the moment..." St. Peter Eymard
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SeaStar
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| Posted: May 24 2008 at 9:15pm | IP Logged
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Ah, moving... boxes all around and stress for everyone. I have been in my new home several months and still feel like I would pack up everything and go back tomorrow. I think that's because I really loved where I was and could have stayed there forever.
But.
But God had other plans for me, and He does for you, too. It has taken time, but I can see some of the blessings of this move shining through. My dh and I are able to be together again after 6 months apart, for one. He is happier in his work and his commute is much shorter, so the kids see more of him during the week, which they love.
I know that God has special blessings for you, too, in Nevada. I am praying that He will show them to you ASAP. In the meantime, light a candle, take a hot bath, eat chocolate... pamper yourself and go easy on yourself. Adjustment takes time- no one expects you to be singing "zippity-do-dah" while unpacking your 29th box. Stay in, lie low and know we are praying for you.
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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Tina P.
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| Posted: May 27 2008 at 2:41am | IP Logged
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I completely understand your pain. It *does* lessen over time. And look, you're just that little bit closer to being able to visit ME!  Now, how can that make you sad? 
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Tina, wife to one and mom to 9 + 3 in heaven
Mary's Muse
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Maddie
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| Posted: May 27 2008 at 8:13am | IP Logged
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I've been in MI for almost 3 years and I still mourn VA with a passion. Nothing is the same here, it's a nice spot to vacation in, but I want to go home now.
I can totally relate. The first year we treated this area like we were on vacation and we saw all the sites we could while adjusting to our new home. It made it fun for the children and kept me from crying. Can you find a place to make a pilgrimage to for the day?
Funny, I've thought of whining here too about our move! My biggest frustration has been the diocese we live in, I think Vatican III happened here and they haven't informed the Pope. 
Praying for you! I'm sure I've not been much help, but the stabbing pain does go away and turns into wishful sighs.
__________________
~Maddie~
Wife to my dh and Momma of 9 dear ones
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: blue (pity-party & a little whiney, too)
