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cornomama4
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Posted: April 04 2008 at 6:37pm | IP Logged Quote cornomama4

If this has been covered, please gently send me on my way to that thread, but I'm curious of the blessings/challenges others have had when dh is working at home most or all of the time.

As stated in a previous post, my dh has an ebay business that take about 6-7 hours a day. In a nutshell, the pros and cons look like this: pro-he's always at home...con-he's always at home.

I love the part about how he's just in the office if we ever need him for something, if the kids do some cool thing they can run in and show him, if I'm sick or have been up all night with a sad baby he can spell me (I know, I'm so spoiled)and all that. The trouble has come with respecting his space and time...it's almost impossible not to open that office door whenever any of us feel like it.
The other problem is the noise and that he can't concentrate as well with littles squawking from only a few feet away. He tries to only be bothered by fighting noises (rare) but one can only take so much chatter and silliness from 4 kids 7 and under. He makes typos in his postings, feels like he's wasting time (aka money)gets frustrated, comes out to complain, then I feel like we have to walk on eggshells so not to bother him. I have tried being out more with the kids while he works, but that's not so practical.

We have even looked at other properties with heated out building that he could work in or mother-in-law suites, but moving right now would be a real hassle. Does anyone have any ideas to help the kids, and especially the mom, understand that he's "at work" even though he's just in the next room? Thanks!

cm4

p.s. We are thinking of moving his office to the basement (bigger space, too) but that's still only the turn of a doorknob away!
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SuzanneG
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Posted: April 04 2008 at 7:12pm | IP Logged Quote SuzanneG

My dh has a home office where he works about 40% of the time. The rest of the time he is out seeing customers or out of town.

He purposefully has an office in the basement. When we looked at moving 5 years ago, we would ONLY look at properties that had a space for him that was away from us...whether that was a basement, or an attic or a removed space....they all differed. MOst were in the basement. I don't think he could have a home office if he were on the same floor as us . Being in the basement makes a big difference. The noise is muffled, he can't hear the details, and he's removed. Even though, of course, you can STILL hear noise.

We do similar things as you......I ask for help, etc. / the kids go down and show him things / we call him to come upstairs if something funny is happening. But, I try really hard to leave him alone when he's down there.   

We have discussed with the girls that most daddies LEAVE every day to go to work, and we're lucky that he's around sometimes. But, he is working during the day and most of the time we can't talk to him whenever we want.

I don't let them turn that doorknob and go downstairs without telling me. They know they have to ask if they want to go down and see him. I will also call him and see if "this is a good time" for them to come down. If I get the voice mail, then I know he's on the phone and they can't come down. He will also warn me sometimes ahead of time, "I'm on a long conference call from 10-12, so don't let them come down.   

They also know the sign for "Are you talking?" before they start jabbering away at him, when he looks like he's not on the phone, cuz a lot of the times he's on speaker phone, etc. and you can't tell.

They also whisper, "Dad, do you have a minute?" before they walk in or start talking. So, basically, my kids have learned office ettiquette at the age of 5.
HTH,

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mary theresa
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Posted: April 04 2008 at 7:42pm | IP Logged Quote mary theresa

cornomama4 wrote:
In a nutshell, the pros and cons look like this: pro-he's always at home...con-he's always at home.



YES!!! I know what you mean!!

My husband has a home office too. He owns his own construction company so at least 6 hrs a day he is out selling jobs/ meeting clients / checking on the workers, etc, but when he is home . . . . well, it's like you both have said . . . hard not to bother him, hard keep the 2 yo out and quiet, etc.

it is REALLY hard too because there isn't so much a WORK time and a HOME time, YKWIM? So sometimes he gets home at 5 but has to work more from 7-12 midnight. Or, if I get him to relax with me a bit, then he works from, say, 10pm till sometimes 3am (rarely, but it happens). I try to ask him to be HOME and PRESENT TO US from at least 5-7pm, but with the office right there and work waiting to be done and calls coming in, etc. . . .

Do you all know what I mean? Its hard not to have him have a X time to Y time job, but be able to, and need to work any time . . . .   

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missionfamily
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Posted: April 04 2008 at 8:58pm | IP Logged Quote missionfamily

My husband is home almost all of the time too and you are exactly right about those pros and cons. My dh has many days when he is not particularly busy. This is great because I can usually get out to run errands and he can also engage some kids while I work with another. It is difficult because he can distract the kids and derail my plan for the day quite easily and because he's another person needing my attention, needing my help in the midst of a lot of others. Sometimes it is difficult to balance the roles of wife and mother all day every day.

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SusanJ
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Posted: April 05 2008 at 5:57am | IP Logged Quote SusanJ

I blogged about this a few months back. Since I wrote that post my dh has gotten into a schedule that keeps him away for most of every day. He's still home more than most jobs but all his "work" is done away so that when he's home he's really here.


Susan

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