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Lisbet
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| Posted: April 02 2008 at 7:31am | IP Logged
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But I know some of you will 'get' me. Mark is a joyous little 7 month old, the light of our family at the moment. We have 8 other wonderful children. I relish every second of this beautiful chaos.
But, here I am, the start of a new cycle, my 5th cycle since MB was born, the third that we've been praying for another child. I actually charted my temps this month to confirm if I was even ovulating - and I had a textbook cycle - but - no baby - and dh and I are both sad today.
Are we crazy? Are we greedy? We are of course thankful with the bounty of children we have, and we know others that have been begging for much longer, but the sadness is still there.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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BlessedMommy
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I would not call you crazy or greedy, just anxious. The Lord has everything planned. It could be you're not pregnant bcz your body hasn't completely healed and He is giving you some more time to be with the Blessing you have now before He sends down any more little Blessings from Heaven.
Enjoy each day the Lord places before you, becoause sometimes the Lord sends us Blessing when we leastexpext it.
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Angie Mc
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This is hard, Lisa, and I surely understand your sadness. In addition to the disappointment of not being pregnant, you may not have much experience with waiting to become pregnant so you may be dealing with something new which can be disorienting.
I just wanted to let you know that I'm blessed by your ability to identify sadness in this situation. So many in our culture (as you well know) don't want a baby, making your desire so precious. I can guess that you and your dh may feel alone in your sadness because of this. I also see your ability to identify that you are sad as important. I'm one of those people who is inclined to covering up my sadness with anger (not pretty.) But I'm learning from the example of others that in our sadness our Holy Father and Mother comfort us so tenderly.
I'm praying for your intentions,  .
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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Lisbet
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| Posted: April 02 2008 at 8:48am | IP Logged
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I knew you ladies would understand! BlessedMommy - I certainly agree with and understand everything you are saying, I think part of it is like Angie said, this is new to us!  Dh and I were both perplexed at first this morning! (We don't take our fertility for granted, it's just been so 'easy' for us in the past. 5 months of cycles with no pregnancy has never happened before!) We went out last night for dinner and then to a Dr. Ray talk, so we were super pumped up about parenthood too! Ready to conquer the world!! 
We laughed about it a bit, then prayed, and are looking forward to the chance to co-operate again this cycle! But, we are a tad sad. I would never be able to share this slight sadness 'with the world', but that doesn't deminish it.
I kinda look at it this way, it's perfectly okay by social standards, for a couple to 'want' 2 or 3 children, right? Well, we are that rare couple that desires 12 - or more!
Thanks for your understanding and prayers.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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LisaR
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Your post was a good reminder for me this morning to practice being in the present moment, which is often hard for me to do, as, like Angie, my sadness often turns to anger, both of which are HUGE distractions to me and often disrupt my minute to minute vocation of being present to the little faces in front of me now.
hugs to you. it sounds like you had a wonderful evening though!
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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teachingmyown
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Oh Lisa, you're not greedy, just insane!
Seriously, I am in awe of your desire for another baby at this point. I can't even think of having another for about a year after I give birth. I guess I adapt to change more slowly than you.  Fortunately, for me, my body cooperates. I don't get my cycles back for at least 9 or 10 months.
I certainly understand feeling anxious about not conceiving when you are used to it happening so quickly. We have never had to "try". In fact dh has always said he can't wait until we have to "try"! We certainly do not take this blessing of fertility for granted.
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In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
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Martha
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well little bridget is going ot be 2 next month
we've never had a baby turn 2 without another sibling having been born
and here I am not even pregnant
so if your greedy and crazy, then so are we.
if one is going to be crazy, heaven knows we could do worse than being crazy, greedy in love with and for their babies!
we're not charting because we really dislike nfp (nothing personal against those who use ! please no tomatos!)
but we are ummm, getting rather earnest in our attempts to take advantage of any opportunities to raise our chances.
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Martha
mama to 7 boys & 4 girls
Yes, they're all ours!
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Lisbet
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| Posted: April 02 2008 at 9:22am | IP Logged
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Martha, I have been thinking of you alot the past few months. Molly and Bridget are the same age and I have a baby after them.
I charted this cycle to see if I was even ovulating. (just jotted down general fertility notes and temped, temping confirmed ovulation!)
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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mary theresa
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Oh, Lisa, what is your secret? You are a beautiful wonderful woman!
I'm with Molly! "Awe" being just the word for my feeling when I "look" at you! At 7 mos (and 8, 9, and 10 mos too!) I was praying for more time!
I know you'll get your 12! How could God resist such a desire?
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Mary Theresa
mother to 3 little girls --March '06, Dec '07 and Jan '10
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Martha
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| Posted: April 02 2008 at 9:50am | IP Logged
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Lisbet wrote:
| Martha, I have been thinking of you alot the past few months. Molly and Bridget are the same age and I have a baby after them. |
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And he's so cute!
And I'm so jealous.
All of our kids have been born in a different month, so we've been half-joking that December needs filled...
as well as July, August, and November.
Not that we've ever tried to make it happen like that with any of them, but it has been a rather nice happen-chance that God's planned so far. Very convienent, ykwim? 
I'll admit I didn't think much of it other than, "huh. nifty little break here... guess I'll enjoy it because it won't last much longer..." because mine are starting to space out some before this. The 23 months between Bridget and Tobias is the biggest gap between all the children.
But now..
well now we want another.
break time is over
it's time to get back to work!
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Martha
mama to 7 boys & 4 girls
Yes, they're all ours!
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Lisbet
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Martha, dh joked that there will be no 2008 model!
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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Maryan
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Lisbet wrote:
| Martha, dh joked that there will be no 2008 model! |
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Maryan
Mom to 6 boys & 1 girl: JP('01), B ('03), M('05), L('06), Ph ('08), M ('10), James born 5/1/12
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joann10
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I always was praying for a new baby when my littlest was only a few months old-and we usually got our wish fairly quickly-barring severe illnesses- but now God has given me a new blessing. Since my hysterctomy a year ago I have not been sad or missing a new baby. I feel we have been blessed tremendously by God with a great feeling of contentment with the ten children He has giving us.
God is so good-He will always be there for us in our need.
God bless you, Lisa, and your desire for more beautiful children. I pray God blesses you soon.
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Lisbet
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joann10 wrote:
feeling of contentment with the ten children He has giving us.
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Joann, that is beautiful! God is so good.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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LucyP
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Lisbet, I can't understand (being infertile) but I know from experience that each woman's longing for a child (whether the first or the fifteenth) is so deep within her that it can't seem silly or greedy to me. I pray that you do get a very early 2009 model! I am thankful for the women who are able to be so open to lofe as you are. What a joy to observe and what a witness to the world.
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asplendidtime
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We didn't conceive William for 14 months after our 7th baby. We were so sure we were expecting several times but we weren't... Dh even bought me an HPT for my 2006 Christmas stocking, we were disappointed when it was negative.
I had never had a baby's first Birthday w/out a new little one on the way... God has a timing and He is good. I do know your feelings, I was overjoyed to get a +HPT last July!  I thought maybe I was in perimenopause at 31 & 32 yrs old!
(((hugs)))
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Rebecca~Mama to
Noah 17,
Katie 16,
Mary 14,
Tim 13,
Jonah 12,
Josh 10,
Zoe 9,
Will 7,
Peter 6,
Laura-Mae 4,
Emily-Joy 2,
Genevieve & Gabriella 1
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momwats8
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I know the feeling...you are not greedy you are just open to the gift of life. It has been so odd to not have a baby with Maggie being 2 1/2. I had started to just let go and let things happen.
Here I am now 8 weeks pregnant after 3 losses. God is good and he will give us the desires of our hearts 
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Mary- Wife to Mike and Mother to Austin(92), Mikey(95), R.J.(97), Benedict(98), Kolbe(00), Ignatius(02), Christian(03), Margaret(05),&4 angels in heaven
http://www.momwats8.blogspot.com
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CrunchyMom
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Wow, I can't imagine. I guess God is just in control, right, and He has such different plans for everyone or for different times in our life? I didn't have a cycle between my first two, and I only had one before my current pregnancy, and there will still be 27 months between my youngest and the new baby!
I'm one of those for whom eco-bf seems to work quite effectively, lol.
I don't think you are greedy, but I think perhaps it is good that God gives us little windows of sorrow so we can sympathize with others. Perhaps you can better understand the trials of others a little.
To have that desire unfulfilled gives you a glimpse into both the infertile couple and the couple overwhelmed at the thought of an unplanned pregnancy.
I was in bed sick for two weeks in Feb (flu, double ear infection, pregnant and couldn't take much). I've never been so sick, and my dh had to take off work to take care of me. While only for 2 weeks, it made me realize how those suffering from chronic illness or something big like cancer must feel--how when you are ill, it isn't just the physical suffering but the guilt over needing the care of others. In the same time period, I had some spotting and needed an emergency ultra-sound. I suffered about two hours truly believing I'd lost my baby and it took a couple of days to register relief and lose the stress after the positive ultra-sound.
So, I don't claim to know what its like to either have a severe chronic illness or lose a baby, but I feel like I have been given a glimpse so that I can "better" understand those feelings.
You won't ever know the pain of "infertility" but perhaps this time is a "window" for you, yk?
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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msclavel
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Oh my, I know exactly how you all feel. I am ACHING for another child. I was sure this month was it and I actually felt devastated on Sunday when I realized I was not pregnant. Like I lost something. I posted a prayer request...and it really does feel a bit insane  . Not to mention my children who DAILY let me know they are eagerly praying and awaiting news of a new little sibling. My biggest gap is 3 years between my current baby and her older sister. I was so sure I wouldn't wait that long again, I was hoping to be pregnant before she turned one...at this rate they will already will be over two years apart...which in my insanity seems like an eternity. I really wanted a baby for Christmas
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Jess
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Lisa, I don't think you are greedy at all. Our baby is almost 13 months (and still a nursing champ!) and I still haven't gotten my cycle back and I so wish that I will soon or that I am able to get pregnant without getting it back. I long for another baby too. I guess since having a longer space between children is new to you, then the surprise that you are not expecting yet is kind of throwing you for a loop. I actually check your blog often to see if you are expecting again! I wish I was able to concieve faster while nursing like you are able to, but I guess that is not God's plan for me. So I have to trust as you do and continue to pray for another blessing!
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God bless,
Jess
+JMJ+
wife to dh('96)
mama to dd(13), dd(11), ds(9), dd(6), and dd (2), and baby girl born Sept 14!
star cottage
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Topic: I'm a silly greedy woman...
