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folklaur
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| Posted: Dec 26 2007 at 1:56pm | IP Logged
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Oh, what to do!
We have just been able to work out a budget, now that dh has started getting paid. Before we got that first check, it was kind of speculation, but now I have numbers to work with.
Here is the thing -- we had planned on putting our house on the market in Feb. The kids and I would stay here until it sold. But with the numbers we have now, we could move up to NV sooner to be with dh. We are not saving a ton by living apart, since he has to rent a room, plus he is flying home every weekend.
But now here is the problem. ds9 is in a Sacrament year. In our current diocese, they do Communion/Confirmation together, and he is all set to go on APRIL 6th. If we move, we may run into problems with the new parish (though we have called and talked to all the potential areas we are looking at living, but you know how things go....)Plus, Las Vegas doesn't have the restored order, so even though he is prepared, they will not do Confirmation - he has to wait until he is a teen.
They can not do it earlier in our current diocese, because now they HAVE to be done together, and only a "Bishop or his Delegate" can administer it, and so they do not do private ones (whereas you used to be able to get a private Communion done.)
What would you do? Move to be with dh sooner, and deal with all the related red tape? (One parish said that even though he has always gone to RE, and either been homeschooled or in a parish school, and even though his current RE Director would write a letter saying he is prepared for Communion, that their parish would require him to go through RCIC. But some others were much more agreeable to working with us...) Plus, I don't really drive much, so I have no idea what their RE requirements are going to be. And ds really wants to recieve Communion....
Or would you stay where you were for the time being, which would save a slight bit of money (though not much...)
But then I start to think - gosh, if we are staying until April....why not wait and stay the extra few weeks into May so the kids can finish up the year with Girls & Boys Club, Scouts, Gymnastics, their Enrichment programs....which all end at some point in May....
But MAY seems quite a long, long time away.....and dh really would like us there sooner....however, he is wanting to do what would make me (and the kids) most happy...(I wish he would just say, "I want you to do ___" and then I could just be like, "Okay." But he really wants to do whatever I want to do, and I just don't know!!!! I have prayed but I think my emotions are talking much too loud for me to hear God right now.....Every time I think I have come up with a good plan, I do not feel any peace about it.
I am in a quandary....and could really use ANY opinion you might have, as I am just "too close to the situation" to see things clearly right now....
There is a rental that has just come available for March 1st in the area we want, but we need to put a deposit down very sooner to hold it. Like this week. And I just do not know what to do.....
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Dec 26 2007 at 3:38pm | IP Logged
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I think as long as they wouldn't stop him from First Communion that the place opening up would make it look like moving sooner is the better choice.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
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Elena
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| Posted: Dec 26 2007 at 4:03pm | IP Logged
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I'd move with my husband. I've done the separate states thing before and it's not much fun and there is a period of adjustment when you get back together.
Making confirmation as a teen isn't so bad. I think if I were you, I'd just go ahead and make the move with your husband.
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Elena
Wife to Peter, mom of many!
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mellyrose
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| Posted: Dec 26 2007 at 4:06pm | IP Logged
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Laura, When I was young, we moved as a family every 18 months - 2 years for about 12 years. My parents always tried to stay together as much as possible as a family -- granted, there were times when we would stay with my mom in one locale, while my dad went on ahead -- but they tried to keep it to a minimum (and that meant that we spent months living in a month-to-month motel one time, and in a garage apartment for almost 6 months another time, just so we could all be together as a family.)
That being said, I would say that if you can swing the move sooner, I would go. I know it's hard, but it'll be hard no matter when you do it, and I think having everyone live together is more important.
If it's meant to be, you'll find a parish that is willing to work with ds9. It's funny about confirming so young -- one of the reasons we've stayed at our parish in Pinal County vs Maricopa is because the Tucson diocese is still doing confirmation in high school. I know there are many thoughts on this issue, but it's not the end of the world if confirmation is pushed until high school.
I'll pray for you to find a solution that you have peace with.
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Melanie in AZ
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folklaur
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| Posted: Dec 26 2007 at 4:26pm | IP Logged
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I am not concerned about the Confirmation part -- I just don't want him to have to wait another year for his Communion if they make him do RCIC [;)
Actually since posting this dh has called, and said he took a look at a place, that he really likes. However, there is aleady a hold on it, but it expires at 4pm today. If that hold expires we will have a move in date of Feb 11th...I think that is what he said.
I am not sure what I am praying for at this point - just God's will be done, right?
Thank you all so much for sharing your opinion, it is very helpful!!!
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Kristen in TN
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| Posted: Dec 26 2007 at 6:39pm | IP Logged
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My humble opinion is move with your husband. When we moved here he was back and forth fixing up the place and the longest he was gone was 5 weeks. He was also away when my Dad died. I would much rather be living with my husband no matter what! But, regardless of what you do, I'll pray for your discernment.
God bless,
Kristen in TN
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Barbara C.
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| Posted: Dec 26 2007 at 6:59pm | IP Logged
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This may sound slightly crazy, but could you move with your husband now and then go back for your son's communion on April 6th? Just try to think of a way you could have the best of both.
It sounds, though, if this deal works out with the place your husband found that God is telling you where you need to be. He has an interesting way of doing that sometimes. 
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Barbara
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LisaR
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| Posted: Dec 26 2007 at 7:29pm | IP Logged
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I'd move with dh. Do you know what Parish you will be at in Las Vegas? I have a good one that I have a connection to, and I could help you walk through getting the sacraments straightened out if you need it.
I empathize with your dilema. Everything seems more peaceful and manageable when mom and dad are together though, at least usually!
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Lisa
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: Dec 26 2007 at 10:18pm | IP Logged
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Well, from my point of view, being apart stinks. I can't wait to get this over with so we can all be together again. If my dd were not a senior finishing up her last bit of high school, we would be SO already gone.
Any way you can move and come back for sacraments? Since your house will not be sold for awhile,can you and ds come back a couple of times in the interim to make up any prep stuff he needs?
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Could use some advice - move now or ???
