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SusanJ
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| Posted: Nov 14 2007 at 2:43pm | IP Logged
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Before I had kids I was very fortunate to be able to make an annual retreat. Obviously, this sort of thing isn't possible with little ones. This year, the three years without a retreat is starting to catch up to me. I feel like I really need something.
Has anyone tried out mom-friendly retreat models? I'm thinking something like a Holy Hour every night for a week or two mornings over a weekend or something. I have a 13 month old dd who really needs me, physically and emotionally, so I can't be gone for very long at a stretch.
Any ideas?
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Mom to Joseph-8, Margaret-6, William-4, Gregory-2, and new little one due 11/1
Life Together
[URL=http://thejohnstonkids.blogspot.com]The Kids' Blog[/UR
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CKwasniewski
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| Posted: Nov 14 2007 at 3:31pm | IP Logged
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If you can get to adoration, its great to go for an hour right before the baby's nap time. Then you can nurse them to sleep and be peaceful. 
How about a novena of adoration hours? Schedule it to include 2 weekends when your dh is available.
Not exactly a retreat, but certainly enough to bring things back to some focus.
Good luck!
ck
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Leocea
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| Posted: Nov 14 2007 at 6:44pm | IP Logged
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I have been wondering how to fit in retreats with a toddler. A friend mentioned that she sometimes just parks in the church parking lot during adoration. You are as close as you can be,even if you can't go in. If the baby falls asleep, you could always carry her/him in with you.
Do you know someone who would go with you and sit in the car with your toddler if she/he fell asleep? It wouldn't be a retreat, of course, but it might help.
Do you know a lot of people in your parish? It occurred to me that you may be able to have a frequenter of adoration sit with your child too, or even take them for a walk, etc. My children are always very clingy with me, but if someone took them for a short walk, they would happily look at flowers, bushes, bugs, etc.
I have to remind myself of this--I think the most important thing to remember is that God gave you this child, and He also gave your child this temperment. He didn't do it by mistake, he knows how you both are. He also knows if you are trying your best, or making excuses. If you are honestly trying to be as close to Him as possible, He is happy! :-) I don't say this because you don't know this, I just know that I need to remind myself sometimes that I just can't always do the things I would like/need to do. I'm assuming you are probably the same. :-)
I think that your idea of going twice in a weekend sounds reasonable, it just may take some planning. It doesn't always have to be a holy hour, either. Sometimes, a holy minute is all you can manage. How wonderful, though, that minute is!
I am such a fan of adoration, and even just being in the presence of the tabernacle. I am so drawn to it, I have to force myself to leave. It is one of the major things that convinced me to become Catholic. I am hoping to make it more frequently myself.
Your question has inspired me. Thank you!
In Christ,
Leocea
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SusanJ
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| Posted: Nov 14 2007 at 9:03pm | IP Logged
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Thanks for the encouragement, ladies!
I actually do get a Holy Hour once a week--so maybe I'm already fitting in more than some of you are able! My husband is very supportive of my getting away to pray and will stay home with the kids if dd is asleep or take them for a walk if she isn't. A one hour walk with dad is about the only thing dd will do apart from me. I've come to terms with her neediness. It's just her personality and that's fine.
I just know from past experience that the opportunity to really descend into silence and get away from all the "noise" of regular life is one of the most valuable parts of a retreat. I was always so grateful for that second or third day when I'd gotten over the initial shock of silence and solitude and was able to pray in a deeper way. I know my vocation allows me to pray in many meaningful ways but this year has been challenging and I really wanted to do something this Advent like the silent retreats I used to do.
I really like CK's idea of a Novena of Holy Hours. Dh was intrigued by this idea as well. I think after a few nights I might start to enter into the silence in a more meaningful way. I like that a novena is more purposeful than just "a bunch of Holy Hours." Dh and I are going to look at our calendar for Advent and see if there is a stretch that would work.
If anyone else has ideas, let me know!
Susan
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Mom to Joseph-8, Margaret-6, William-4, Gregory-2, and new little one due 11/1
Life Together
[URL=http://thejohnstonkids.blogspot.com]The Kids' Blog[/UR
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ALmom
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| Posted: Nov 15 2007 at 11:07pm | IP Logged
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It has been a while and I found it harder with toddlers than with infants. Also, this isn't something that can be a regular thing - but works as an occassional treat. We have actually gone as a family to portions of weekend retreats at the Sister Servants (we pay for the full retreat for the adults but I think the sisters suggested something significantly less cost than this - they are just so wonderful). We stayed in a nearby hotel, were all together for Mass and as long as possible, then dh took the children to the zoo (except nursing infant) or something special and I got to listen to the priest and participate some. Then we were all back together again for evening prayer and hotel to bed. With an infant, having the infant with me and nursing worked because they are not generally particularly loud and sleep a lot and... Actually my dh would come check in on me before and after the zoo and often walk the baby around a bit. Now, granted, this isn't something you can do regularly and not something I would have done on a directed silent retreat But for a Father Fox family retreat or mother-daughter retreat it wasn't a problem. (We also checked with the sisters first to make sure it was okay). Maybe it was the absolutely hospitable way of the sisters but just being at their convent for Mass is a retreat for us. My dh and I take turns after Mass spending extra time in prayer while the sisters visit with the other half or we take the dc to see the ducks or the fountain or...
The other way we have done things is our homeschool cover sponsored a day retreat with a priest speaker brought in to give talks, hear confessions and Mass. Since we all were families, we all understood the occassional baby noise and the whole thing was planned around the fact that families would be together. It is not quite as silent but still a time to come away a bit and get some serious direction and be inspired to greater love for God in the midst of our families. Since the priest knew ahead of time the make-up of the retreat, he obviously geared things to homeschooling families.
The reality is, though, that there are a number of times where these things are not possible/ won't work or we would be too distracting for others and then we pray in the midst of our work as best we can. I've also had to be prepared mentally to miss parts of things at a retreat if necessary and not sweat it as I generally could have a pretty good instinct prior to the start of something whether or not baby would be fussy or cooperative. If I felt baby would be fussy, I had the stroller and walked the baby around the grounds outside reflecting on what we'd heard earlier. I still had silence and some coming away and often the baby would doze and I took the stroller into the talk. I always came home refreshed. The hardest part was actually leaving.
Janet
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