| Author | |
Bethany
Forum Pro
Joined: Oct 16 2006
Location: Texas
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 299
|
| Posted: Nov 01 2007 at 2:51pm | IP Logged
|
 |
|
Well, it looks like we will be moving Houston. I'm 34 weeks pregnant and this move will be all on us. In the past we've been moved through work, so the physical and financial cost have been less. After completely stessing out about finding a home, I've actually decided to hopefully buy a new home in an area where a family friend of my DH lives. It sounds like what I need to have a less stressful move, nice parks, greenbelts, trails and pools.
BUT, I've decided to do my looking on the computer and just send my husband down to see it all in person and make the decision. I know he'll probably go nicer than I might, but we're both concerned about the cost, so it shouldn't get out of hand.
This is the home my family intends to live in for a long time, is it crazy that I wouldn't want to look all over and try to find the perfect house. I've moved so many times in the past 7 years that I guess I no longer believe there is such a thing.
I just know that trying to go down there to make a decision about a house with a newborn would be too much stress.
Just wondering if I've really lost it this time? 
__________________
Bethany
Wife to Mike, Mommy to Amelia (6/02), Sarah (10/03), Martha Grace (10/05), Rebecca Anne (12/07), Laura Catherine (3/10) and Reed Michael 7/4/14.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
lapazfarm
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 21 2005
Location: Alaska
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 6082
|
| Posted: Nov 01 2007 at 3:15pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Not crazy, but I think it will take a great amount of humility, and show enormous respect for your husband's abilities to make decisions for your family. What an opportunity for growth!
__________________
Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Angie Mc
Board Moderator
Joined: Jan 31 2005
Location: Arizona
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 11400
|
| Posted: Nov 01 2007 at 3:17pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Bethany, I'm with you! After moving more than 14 times in 14 years of marriage...I stopped counting. Four years ago this month, our family was living in PA and so wanting a new job for my dh. One Friday, he was offered an interview in AZ for the following Monday. During the weekend, we decided that if he got the job, he would look to purchase a home while there. He was offered the job on the spot and accepted it. He then had 4 days to find a home. Tuesday and Wednesday he didn't have much luck. On Thursday he called and said, "I'm putting a bid in on a home." By Friday the terms were agreed upon. Saturday he met with inspectors and flew home! We were in our home in January!
Many of my friends and family thought I was "nuts" for letting my dh pick out our home. The home was so new to the market that it didn't even have it's picture posted online. When I asked my dh to describe the home he told me that it looked like all the other homes he had looked at except that it had a big yard with a pool. Hmmm...OK, what about the color of the interior walls? "brown." Ooooo...and the flooring?..."linoleum." Really...and the size?..."big enough." Oh, and the pool had a "fountain" in it (so I was picturing a cupid spitting water out of the middle of my pool!) The good news is that our home turned out to be very sweet. It does have one of the largest yards and there is no cupid in the pool, but rather a decorative rock waterfall on the side. The floor is not linoleum but rather a very nice (and pricey) tile. And the walls were a light taupe . I hope to never move again.
To some this approach looked fool-hardy but for us, it was perfect. We had a small budget to work with, which narrowed down our choices. We needed to move right away, so didn't have the luxury of time to do a lot of waiting and searching. In general, we are very cautious and hard-working people so knew we weren't being impulsive or lazy. We prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed. If we ever do need to move again, I would be hard-pressed to go back to the "right way" of looking for home and would simply send my dh out again with a week deadline  .
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
About Me
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Mary G
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5790
|
| Posted: Nov 01 2007 at 3:43pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I've found in the past 10 years (and 5 moves) that it is much easier if dh does the deciding on the house and then I get to make it a home ...
__________________
MaryG
3 boys (22, 12, 8)2 girls (20, 11)
my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Angie Mc
Board Moderator
Joined: Jan 31 2005
Location: Arizona
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 11400
|
| Posted: Nov 01 2007 at 3:46pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
lapazfarm wrote:
| Not crazy, but I think it will take a great amount of humility, and show enormous respect for your husband's abilities to make decisions for your family. What an opportunity for growth! |
|
|
This is so true, Theresa. It was only fair that if my dh was going to do all the work and shoulder the responsibility of this decision, I would not be able to second guess him if for any reason all did not turn out well. It was a leap of faith to trust my dh and God. If I didn't think I could handle it, then I wouldn't have agreed to the arrangement. I know that in my earlier years of marriage and during my earlier moves, I just couldn't have handled it. Our relationship is more valuable than any particular home  .
Mary G wrote:
| I've found in the past 10 years (and 5 moves) that it is much easier if dh does the deciding on the house and then I get to make it a home ... |
|
|
That's it!
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
About Me
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Matilda
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 17 2007
Location: Texas
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1827
|
| Posted: Nov 01 2007 at 9:13pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
My DH found and arranged for the home we live in now and we truly believe that this is where God wants us to be right now. I did get a chance to look at it the weekend we put a contract on it. My husband wanted me to "check the colors" because he is color blind.
On the other hand, the only time his father chose a house without his mother's help... he picked one with no closets! 
I don't think you are crazy and agree with Mary and Theresa! Go for it!
__________________
Charlotte (Matilda)
Mom to four (11 , 10, 9 & 5 ) an even split for now
with bookend boys and a double girl sandwich
Waltzing Matilda
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Michaela
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 25 2005
Location: Washington
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2052
|
| Posted: Nov 02 2007 at 8:20am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I don't think you're crazy either.
I put all my trust in DH and God when we bought this house last month. DH knew EXACTLY what to look for.
Our realtor couldn't believe we were buying a home that I had never seen on the inside. She continually made comments that I must "really really[/]" trust my husband. My mother had to look at it! She couldn't believe that I didn't care to and continually called asking, "Did you go and look at it, yet?"
I did a walk through an hour before we signed closing papers. It was better than he, and even my mom, had described it. My husband selected the perfect house for our family.
Everyone else thought we were crazy, but it was the right decision for us.
__________________
Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
hopalenik
Forum Pro
Joined: Nov 17 2006
Location: Connecticut
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 230
|
| Posted: Nov 02 2007 at 8:30am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Hi,
I did the same thing. When we moved to CT, I came up one time to look and gave up. I sent my husband back to buy a house without me. He did. I would never have picked my house. NEVER. But I love it now. He had the foresight to see the potential after fixing up, I did not.
Holly
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
nutmeg
Forum Newbie
Joined: Feb 06 2007
Location: Texas
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 24
|
| Posted: Nov 02 2007 at 9:15pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
We are in the process of finding a home, and Andrew just *knows* which houses I will like and which ones I won't.... but that has not always been the case!
Still, he knows your preferences and the needs of your family. It makes perfect sense that he should be the one to choose your home. Besides, he can do all the "guy" stuff. You know, roof, gutters, A/C, foundation, etc. 
I don't think you're crazy. I think you are very smart.
__________________
Wife to Andrew
Mom to 5 peanuts:
Ethan-10 
Noah-8 
Gemma-7
Beth-5
Mae-3
And 2 in Heaven
Life in a Nutshell
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Martha
Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 25 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2291
|
| Posted: Nov 03 2007 at 8:57am | IP Logged
|
|
|
As long as you've both discussed what your minimum needs are in a home and about 2 or 3 of your highly desired requested in a home, then there's no reason your dh couldn't feel confident doing this.
Now if you just sent him in blind, that's just mean. 
Before we even looked for a home, I told my dh what I felt I MUST have to feel comfortable, and what I felt would be a great layout and such. I'm the one here 24/7 and homeschooling and cleaning, so my dh took me very seriously. He knew what my needs, want, and priorities were so he felt pretty confident about whether soemthing would work or not.
Also, you're not just sending him to do it without any feedback from you. You are looking online and he's looking at those? And of course, he can always take pictures and email them to you to get feedback on your thoughts.
I think this is great for both of you. Once a couple has been married a while, they should have a certain level of comfort and trust in each other and it appears you have it. 
__________________
Martha
mama to 7 boys & 4 girls
Yes, they're all ours!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
kristina
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 24 2005
Location: New Hampshire
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 524
|
| Posted: Nov 03 2007 at 1:00pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Angie Mc wrote:
| When I asked my dh to describe the home he told me that it looked like all the other homes he had looked at except that it had a big yard with a pool. Hmmm...OK, what about the color of the interior walls? "brown." Ooooo...and the flooring?..."linoleum." Really...and the size?..."big enough." Oh, and the pool had a "fountain" in it (so I was picturing a cupid spitting water out of the middle of my pool!) The good news is that our home turned out to be very sweet. It does have one of the largest yards and there is no cupid in the pool, but rather a decorative rock waterfall on the side. The floor is not linoleum but rather a very nice (and pricey) tile. And the walls were a light taupe . |
|
|
Angie, Your post made me laugh. I read it my husband, who laughed, too. Husbands can be vague with esthetic details sometimes.
Your home sounds lovely!
Blessings,
__________________
kristina
yesterthoughts
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
|
|
4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Am I Crazy?
