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LucyP
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What do you call a priest? Father John or Father Smith? Usually I address someone how they sign themselves, but if a priest signs himself Father John Smith what do I do?
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aiereis
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Well, I would call him Father Smith. If he tells me to call him Father John then I would do that, but I wouldn't be that informal addressing him with him without his consent.
Christina
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chicken lady
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I tend to assume the formal until we have an established relationship and he gives me permission to address him by his first name. It is a sign of respect for his priesthood.
I once heard, "if you need to ask how to address someone, DON'T". Assume the formal.
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MarieC
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A deacon told my husband that the proper way to address a priest is "Fr. First Name"....that being said it would still be hard for me to do it that way (if I didn't know he preferred that).
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LLMom
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Priest use to always be called by their last names. I think it just since VII that people have started using their first names. I still call them by their last names.
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Barbara C.
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All the priests I ever knew growing up were always addressed by their first names. The only exception was the bishop at my confirmation. Of course, my church was run my Carmelites and my dad always claims that Carmelites are a different breed anyway.
There was one priest who visited sometimes called Father Rogi. I don't know if Rogi was his first name or last name. Everyone was impressed with him because he was always in and out of the Vatican working on stuff. But most of us kids called him "Father Roli-Poley" or "Father Santa". I don't know if he started that or we started that. But the man did look an awful lot like pictures of Santa Claus (Round with a white beard and smiling face), except a little shorter. 
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SuzanneG
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aiereis wrote:
Well, I would call him Father Smith. If he tells me to call him Father John then I would do that, but I wouldn't be that informal addressing him with him without his consent.
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same here.
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JodieLyn
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I agree. Last name is the "default" unless you've been told otherwise. But then our priests here when being introduced ask us to a use a particular name (or are introduced with it)
Of course at the moment there is no way I could even begin to wrap my brain around his last name.. thankfully he didn't ask  He's from Nigeria. And our previous priest was from Poland with entirely too many consonents in his name too. (He also had people call him by his first name)
But we've had a visiting priest once very specifically ask us to use his last name.. because his first name was John and it was sooooo confusing because there's so many "Father John"s (not here but in general)
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hylabrook1
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I'm thinking the custom may vary regionally,having grown up far enough south that adult women were called "Miss First Name" (not even "Mrs. First Name). Before Vatican II, like throughout the 1950s (my childhood memories), and I'm assuming earlier, based on the conversational references of my parents and grandparents, we called our priests Father First Name. The two exceptions to this that come to mind were the pastor, who was always called "Father Pastor" (even though I think that sounds pretty weird  ) and the highly esteemed, practically venerated, founding Pastor of our parish, which started as a mission church of a nearby ethnic-type parish.
I'm not sure of the etiquette, just noting the practice I was raised with.
Peace,
Nancy
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aiereis
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I was told that for most religious priests (Carmelite, Dominican, etc.) that they are called Fr. Firstname, but diocesan priests are called Fr. Lastname. I don't know if it has always been the case, but that might explain the church run by Carmelites.
Christina
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Erin
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This is interesting, I'm really surprised it must be a geographical thing. Here we address a priest by his last name, only the 'younger' ones go by first. In fact it is considered very 'modern' to address a priest by his first only a recent thing. I know many people who refuse to call a priest by his first even if he refers to himself that way. It is considered disrespectful to the priesthood (not intending to start anything here, just explaining a geographical/culture thing) Some will call a priest by his first if they know him really well.
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JenniferS
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For the most part, the priests we have had at our parish like to be called by their lastnames. I can think of three that did not. The rest preferred last names.
edited because of my typos. Sorry, I was in a hurry. 
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doris
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Maybe this is a UK/US thing, because I have never heard of a priest here in the UK being called by his last name -- except by elderly parishioners. *Everyone* says 'Father John' instead of 'Father Smith' -- even for religious.
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kingvozzo
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Erin wrote:
| I know many people who refuse to call a priest by his first even if he refers to himself that way. It is considered disrespectful to the priesthood (not intending to start anything here, just explaining a geographical/culture thing) Some will call a priest by his first if they know him really well. |
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I understand the sentiment behind this, but we really ought to call people what they wish to be called...I think it's a combination of a regional thing and an age thing. In NY where I grew up, there was only 1 priest who was called by his first name, and he was very young. When we moved to TX, all the priests were known by their first name, even the older ones. I didn't really prefer it, but it's what they want to be called. Here in CT, all the priests and deacons are known by their last names.
One more thought. I always thought it was a modern post-Vatican II custom. But I was talking with a friend of mine who's husband is a Russian Orthodox priest. She mentioned that it has always been the custom in their church to refer to priests by their first names. Maybe there's more to it than just modern thinking in our church?
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Angi
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I was embarrassed by a priest with just this issue. I am a convert that went thru RCIA in college where every priest when by Fr. First Name. I assumed that is how you addressed priests and called this particular priest Fr. Brian. He was mad and set me straight, very rude and very public. It was horrible for me.
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ETA - obviously I will now always call a priest by their last name
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Topic: Priest etiquette query?
