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mathmama
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Ok, this past weekend I was with a girl that I went to college with. She was an elementary ed major. Somehow the subject of homeschooling came up. I was actually talking to another woman at the time, but I could see the ed major out of the corner of my eye while I was talking about homeschooling. I could see her seething  and very anxiously waiting for a chance to talk. She asked me a couple of questions and stated that "it is ok, as long as you don't do it too long, because of socialization". The crazy thing is, at this time, my 3yo was going around working the room and talking to all these college age girls she had never met and getting them to take her out on the balcony and such (I pointed this out, but it didn't seem to make much of an impact on her). On a side note, this ed major has been married about 1 year (second marriage, not sure if that makes a difference) and said that she will never have kids. She made the comment that sometimes when she sees babies she wants to have one, but then she comes to her senses  Not sure why someone like that would teach. And I am also not sure how sending my child to school to be taught by someone who might not really like children is better than them staying home to be taught be me...who *loves* them.
Ok, now my question. I come across many educators that always get very tense when homeschooling is mentioned. I know that their reaction is mostly the result of a bit of brainwashing by their profession, so not really their fault. So, what is a good response to the socialization "concern" that they all have. I *know* that socialization is not at all an issue, but it would take me a while to explain that. I would just like a quick response that answers their "concerns", that they would buy in some sense (so it would put the talk to rest) and that won't insult/upset them at all because generally these are people I would like to remain on good terms with. Is this too much to ask?? 
Thanks,
Beth
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chicken lady
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Well I am so tired of this ridiculous comment, my sarcasm comes out......"Since when was the goal of compulsory education socialization"? "I was under the assumption it was education" Hmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!
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Mary G
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Beth -- I think most home-educated kids get more socializatin -- definitely across a broader range of ages, genders, personalities -- than a school-educated. I think many "educators" believe that home-taught children are kept inside and never "let out" ... that somehow we're trying to keep them from something. That's not at all the case!
Whenever, I'm out with my kids -- especially during school hours -- I make a point of saying "now, let's show people how fun it is to be homeschooled" or something.
Also, you might want to ask the educators if all their friends are their same age -- somehow when we got rid of the one-room school house, (which WAS socialization at it's finest) we decided that all kids of the same age -- not the same ability or same educational level -- had to be kept in a room together for 8 hours and told that they should play together and get along. My kids have friends of all different ages and that's more real (or 4real, if you will  ) than classroom anyday!
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guitarnan
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My dad sent me this article from a MIT graduate, about how he's homeschooled his son. Socialization is addressed.
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Mary G
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EXCELLENT article, Nancy -- thanks for posting! I particularly like his pointing out the definition of socialization (picking up beahvior, morals of those around) and realize that my kids are socialized as I can pick and chose just whose behaviors, morals and philosophies they pick up
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mimmyof5
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If you stick with homeschooling long enough, they will finally have to stop asking because the answer will be right in front of them. My oldest just turned 18, and in spite of the homeschooling, is very well socialized. No one would be able to voice any doubts about 'socialization' when they meet her. In fact, all my children appear to be quite well socialized. And as Mary said, being in a classroom with people of the same age is not socialization. After a while, socialization becomes a total non-issue. The proof is in the pudding!
Janet
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Anne McD
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If you think they'd prefer to hear from an "expert" (unlike you, who is in the trenches ), Dr. Phil did say that homeschooling did not negativly affect a child in terms of socialization (I think he said until 8th grade, but we can leave that part out. )
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Becky Parker
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I was thinking about this this morning. I met somebody last week who is a teacher. When I said I used to teach in school but now I homeschool she visibly bristled.
I find it interesting that of all my kids, the one that is quiet and shy is the only one that actually went to school. My others have all been homeschooled from the beginning and they are the first to make friends at the park, at soccer practice, at the library  , or wherever!!
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Martha
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Drives me absolutely insane.
1. Socialization is WHY I homeschool.
2. The purpose of a school is to offer an academic education. Regardless of whatever dubious socialization they may get, if I can offer a higher standard of academic quality elsewhere, then the primary reason for the school no longer exists.
3. If they don't have kids, don't ever want kids, and don't like kids, then, imho, they aren't entitled to an opinion on MY kids. No offense, but frankly such people shouldn't be making decisions about any children, much less other people's kids! They can have all the degrees or books they want to base their claims on, but until they actually enter the mommy trenches of child raising, they don't know anything.
And yes, normally I keep most of that nicely bottled up and simply say, "Really? We'll have to agree to disagree, but you're allowed to raise your kids how you feel best, that's why kids have parents." And change the subject.
Parenting is hard enough without someone who's never changed a diaper or been puked on thinking they know what's best for your kids and everyone elses too. 
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Red Cardigan
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Beth, I don't know if this helps, but I wrote a blog post on this topic a while ago.
To me, the kind of socialization kids actually NEED is always taught by parents and family: how to be polite, how to use good manners, how to be concerned for others, how to interact with all age groups. What schools teach is how to belong to a clique. That's not, in my view, a healthy form of socialization.
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guitarnan
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When provoked, I point out that workplace behavior doesn't include many types of behaviors condoned in a traditional school setting, including teasing, bullying, ostracism, playing pranks, stealing and vandalism. Anyone doing things like these at an adult workplace would be disciplined or fired. Period. Yet, we allow schools to tolerate these activities (and worse!). Why?
I'll stick to my "lack" of socialization. My children will be more compassionate adults as a result of my decision, I'm sure.
(And the tragic "Jena 6" situation is a case in point.)
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SusanJ
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We always give "good socialization" as our first reason for homeschooling. This really throws someone for a loop when they are gearing up to give you a speech about it. They, with any luck, they'll ask you more and you can give them all the excellent responses already suggested.
Susan
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JodieLyn
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laugh at them.. seriously.. if you take them seriously then they think they've "got you"...
I had someone official asking me about it not long ago.. and I just laughed.. "oh that's hardly a problem, my kids are on swim team and in the lacrosse club not to mention activities at our Church."
Basically it gave them info that they'd accept and in such a way that I showed no concern over it.
Then further into conversations I'll mention things like the kids talking to others when we go out shopping or whatever. And I've been known to point out that those with kids in public schools could bring them home and keep them inside all the rest of the time.
The idea isn't that they have to be socialized out of the home 24/7 ;)
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JodieLyn
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Oh! I just thought of something a good friend of mine has done.
She gives the person asking "homework".. figuring if they're really concerned they'll get and read the info.. otherwise she won't discuss it with them.
So if you carry a list of resources that show that socialization is not an issue.
Then you can just say "oh, socialization being a problem for homeschoolers has been well disproven. I some resources here if you'd like to find more info"
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4 lads mom
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I usually say, "I would settle for them being civilized....look at the news headlines..we need more civilized behavior!!"
ON a funny note....Lily got evaluated today for services at home like physical therapy etc...and the therapist kept gushing about how "social" my sweetie was, she is "testing" at 3-5 months on her social skills...can you believe homeschooling is already working so well for little dd? It might be all of those adoring guys in her life....I haven't ever had to stand in line to hold my baby!!!
Seriously, I have such a hard time not rolling my eyes when the "s" word comes up...please....watch kids at bus stops and outside schools...that is socialization?
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Barbara C.
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I think it would depend on how snotty you want to be, and this question is likely to hit a homeschoolers snotty nerve. (Ok, so maybe that didn't come out right! )
Them: But kids should eventually go to school for socialization.
Options:
1. What do you mean by socialization: social interaction, learning social skills, or government indoctrination? (A great gateway into explaining how the socialization in school is not the best.)
2. I want my children to have positive socialization; that's one reason I homeschool.
3. Civilization flourished for thousands of years before compulsory education was invented. I believe my kids can flourish without school, too.
4. I don't want my child socialized.
5. I thought schools punished children for socializing.
6. What about all the weird and anti-social children who attend school?
Hope these help.
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mathmama
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JodieLyn wrote:
Oh! I just thought of something a good friend of mine has done.
She gives the person asking "homework".. figuring if they're really concerned they'll get and read the info.. otherwise she won't discuss it with them.
So if you carry a list of resources that show that socialization is not an issue.
Then you can just say "oh, socialization being a problem for homeschoolers has been well disproven. I some resources here if you'd like to find more info"
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Thanks for all the great responses! For me, I think that the above is probably the best because the less talking I need to do the better , that is if I want to stay civil with the person But all of them are good!
Beth
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Patty
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A friend of mine who homeschooled for 13 years recently went back to college to get an art education degree. A professor in one of her education classes made a disparaging remark about this very thing...that homeschooling does not provide adequate socialization!
If anyone says this to you, I think you should give them an innocent look and say, "Oh, you think that about homeschoolers? Maybe you should get out more."
Patty
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AnaB
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Patty,
That's a GREAT response! If only I could remember these when I'm faced with those questions.
A friend of mine, when asked if she homeschools, says yes and we are LOVING IT and having the time of our lives!! People are a little stunned by this and don't ask her any further questions.
I'd like to say, "Yes socialization is very important, that's why I want to make sure my kids learn to socialize with people of ALL ages rather than just other 9yr olds. That's so unnatural!"
None of these things come out of my mouth when I need them.
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guitarnan
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One of my Navy friends has a master's degree in education. She did her big research project on homeschooling (thinking to disparage it) and found herself totally converted.
Sometimes I think these silly comments and ideas stem from lack of knowledge more than anything else. Maybe that's why everyone asks the same old "S" question!
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: I need a good quick response, please
