Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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mom2mpr
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Posted: Sept 15 2007 at 1:48pm | IP Logged Quote mom2mpr

I am sure some here have sent their children to school at some time and I am looking for some advice.
It is not happening this year but I am thinking next year it might be the big year. Dh is pushing more and more each year. Ds will be entering 5th grade.
Here are my questions:
1-preparing the kids. How do you make sure they will be ready and have a smooth transition? Ds has never been to school. I need info on preparation emotionally and academically.
2-How much of a life change is it? For me. I feel like I am moving to a new world if I do this. I just can't see myself say, here on this forum anymore, hanging with the homeschoolers who I do now, etc. How do I transition and get a new life?   
3. What will I do all day? I am so used to being with these kiddos. I am going to be really lonely. Do I get a job?
Dh thinks public school is the way to go. Though I may push for private after doing some looking around. Then all my issues about what I will do will be solved since I will probably go back to work to pay that tuition

I am praying I can make this year most special in case it is our last together. This homeschooling journey is just so sweet. It truly has been such a great trip for me and my children. I think I'll be more sad than if I had put them on the bus in K. I had them and enjoyed them more than most parents. I am hoping things change and pray for strength to let go with grace if I need to.
Any advice is appreciated. Off to plan our week...
Anne
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J.Anne
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Posted: Sept 15 2007 at 2:10pm | IP Logged Quote J.Anne

I have little advice. But I did chat with a public school teacher over the pool this summer and she said, in her experience, the biggest challenge that homeschooled kids face when transitioning to public schools is time. HS kids (I think this is true, at least in our home) have as much time as they need to finish their lessons. In school they have a set time limit to get the work done. She said this caused a lot of stress for the children. Maybe setting time limits this year for math work etc. would help get them ready to deal with that at school.

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Red Cardigan
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Posted: Sept 15 2007 at 3:09pm | IP Logged Quote Red Cardigan

Anne, this seems very sad to me. I don't have advice, just prayers.

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Kathryn UK
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Posted: Sept 15 2007 at 4:27pm | IP Logged Quote Kathryn UK

mom2mpr wrote:

1-preparing the kids. How do you make sure they will be ready and have a smooth transition? Ds has never been to school. I need info on preparation emotionally and academically.
2-How much of a life change is it? For me. I feel like I am moving to a new world if I do this. I just can't see myself say, here on this forum anymore, hanging with the homeschoolers who I do now, etc. How do I transition and get a new life?   
3. What will I do all day? I am so used to being with these kiddos. I am going to be really lonely. Do I get a job?


Anne, my two elder daughters (12yo and 9yo) started school two weeks ago after having been homeschooled from the start. We didn't have any idea of sending them this year until the summer, so hadn't made any attempt to prepare them academically - they just jumped straight in from where they were. Emotionally it wasn't an issue, as they both wanted to try school so were positive about the change. They also both already had friends there, so that smoothed the transition. That might be a consideraton in choosing a school.

Academically they seem to be adapting quite easily. Some things they are finding very easy, others a bit more tricky. My 9yo is having to adjust to different methods in maths, and I think is also finding it hard to tune in to the teacher in some classes. This is probably more to do with personality than homeschooling, as she is an absent-minded type. Her sister doesn't have the same problem. Socially they have both fitted in easily. I knew my 12yo would, as she is very extroverted, but her sister has managed better than I expected.

Yes, it is a big change, and yes, I do miss them . But I do feel very comfortable that we made the right decision for our family at this time, which makes it much easier. We have had a number of crises over the past couple of years, and I was closer to burn out than I realised. Much as I enjoyed homeschooling in many ways I was tired, and it has been a relief to have a lighter load. Whether I will still feel that once my batteries have recharged, I don't know. When we first made the decision it threw me for a loop, as a large part of me was bound up with our identity as a homeschooling family. I found letting go of that quite emotional ... in some ways I haven't really let go as I think there is still a possibility my 9yo may end up back home again, and I also have a young toddler I expect to homeschool when she is old enough. I am still hanging out here

As I still have my littlest at home, I have not had to deal with making decisions about whether or not to get a job, or to worry about what to do all day. Being home with just a 15 month old is very, very different to our old lifestyle, but it does mean I am not lonely. If I didn't have her, I would have felt very much as you do.


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Macmom
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Posted: Sept 15 2007 at 9:49pm | IP Logged Quote Macmom

You need to ask yourself (and dh does too) what is best for the child, both academically and spiritually. My dh and I made the decision that we wouldn't EVER send them off to middle school. It's the worst time to throw them into the lion's den of their peers (I am a former middle school teacher and dh is a former teacher who now is a public school administrator). There is a lot of the typical hormone thing going on, but more seriously, kids are just more CRUEL at that age. It seems to settle out a little more by high school. We wanted the children to have their own sense of identity, chief and foremost as a child of God and an important member of our FAMILY, before they went off to school and were judged on what kind of clothes they wore, what kind of grades they got, whether they were good at sports, whether they were physically attractive enough, etc. Middle school teachers say those 5-8th grade years are usually hardest to teach, and academics take a back seat (often) to dealing with social issues in the classroom. (My dh, reading this over my shoulder, is agreeing!)

So we sent our oldest off to SOME public school as a sophomore. At this point, she is poised and self-confident, without the baggage of having to "fit in" to a clique, or act dumb so she doesn't get labeled a "brain." School is not the center of her existence, and high school is not the high point of her life (we've told her there is SO much great life to be lived after high school!) She has had a hard time adjusting to the time crunch. She is really annoyed by the students who are disruptive in class, and she find humorous the focus on teen romance. All the adults- from the bus driver to the teachers and librarians, love her. In short, she was ready to face the world, and see a little of what we had been keeping from her till she was strong enough to resist. She is also strong enough to stand up for what is right, not go along with the crowd, and focus on academics not the popularity contest around her.

Now, my THIRD daughter is HIGHLY social and susceptible to peer pressure. She is only 11 right now. But if she continues to be this way, I doubt seriously we will send her to away school. She would capitulate too easily to the culture. God willing, a few more years of love and instruction here at home will make her as bold and self-confident as daughter #1.

I'll pray about your decision. I hope you and dh can wage this culture battle, fighting on the same side.

Peace,
Macmom

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Nina Murphy
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Posted: Sept 16 2007 at 1:13am | IP Logged Quote Nina Murphy

Will pray for you, Anne.

It just depends so much on the child, and the school. Pray a lot for discernment for yourself AND wisdom for your husband. God will not abandon you.   

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