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KristinaP
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| Posted: Aug 25 2007 at 7:22am | IP Logged
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I'm so on the verge of pulling my kids out of the local Catholic school, which is a good one and we are happy with but its getting to be too expensive between tuition, fees, and gas expenses. The kids are looking forward to homeschooling but they are also going to miss seeing their friends on a day to day basis, the "school life", etc. and I know I'm being a chicken but I can't seem to "pull the plug" so to speak. I'll miss my routine and actually having to get out of the house and see my friends, too. We've really grown part of the "family" there and this is going to be very difficult saying goodbye, if we end up doing this.
For those of you who have pulled their kids out and didn't really want to, how did you deal with the drastic change in lifestyle, the kids not seeing their friends, etc. I contemplate this every single year and this is the first year my husband has agreed to do this and now I have cold feet.  I should have done this earlier!! 
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Mary G
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| Posted: Aug 25 2007 at 8:02am | IP Logged
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First, I don't think you have to lose your friends or your time outside -- I think you need to look at it as a chance to grow closer within your immediate family. Nothing can take the place of that bond.
Where in Virginia are you -- seems there are TONS of homeschoolers out there (incl the really nice ones here on the Forum!  ) -- so it's not that you're giving up something/someone it's that you'll be gaining a whole new batch of friends, outlets and time with your kids ...
But, I pulled mine willingly, so maybe I have a different take on all this ....
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MaryG
3 boys (22, 12, 8)2 girls (20, 11)
my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
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Mary Chris
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| Posted: Aug 25 2007 at 8:15am | IP Logged
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Kristina,
I pulled my dd out of a local Catholic shcool 5 years ago. I wanted to pull her out and the school was not at our parish so we were not involved. We had a lot of medical issues going on with her younger brother which kept us quite busy.
I am not sure where in Va you are but it is such a wonderful location for homeschooling. In our early years I would often say we don't let homeschooling get in the way of our social life. Now that they are older we have cut out some of our extracurricular activities. We still do get together with some of her friends from those early schooling days but not to often.
I am very lucky to have 5 wonderful catholic home educating families within a 10 minute drive, plus all the wonderful families that take us a bit longer to get to.
We are in Northern Va, PM if you are, we were talking yesterday about trying to get a group together for some fun.
I guess I should address some of your questions......
My dd continued to play soccer with one of her school mates for a number of years after we pulled her out. If the school is part of your parish and your children play sports or are in scouting they will run into their friends that way.
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mom to MacKenzie3/95, Carter 12/97 Ronan 3/00 and wife to Jim since 1/92
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: Aug 25 2007 at 9:11am | IP Logged
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I wanted to pull mine out, but I can address the social aspect for the children.
My ds was Mr Popular at school, with dozens friends, so I worried a bit he would miss that. But he still sees his buddies at Karate and Boy Scouts, plus he has his very best friend since K who he hangs out with and does things all the time, like movies, bowling, etc. His parents and I just have to make a little effort to get them together and since we all see the value in it we don't mind at all. Ds is actually quite content with the amount of social time and doesn't miss school at all.
Dd (who never went to school)has her friends from church and CCD and a little neighbor girl she plays with.
And lets not forget that they have each other. Their relationship is so much closer than if they were segregated all day at school.
I think in the end, the relationships that are worth saving will survive and flourish. Those that are not won't really be missed anyhow.
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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Mary Chris
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| Posted: Aug 25 2007 at 9:32am | IP Logged
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lapazfarm wrote:
And lets not forget that they have each other. Their relationship is so much closer than if they were segregated all day at school.
I think in the end, the relationships that are worth saving will survive and flourish. Those that are not won't really be missed anyhow. |
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Well put! My dear kiddos don't always get along perfectly , but they are good friends! And the relationships that are worth keeping will be.
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Blessings, Mary Chris Beardsley
mom to MacKenzie3/95, Carter 12/97 Ronan 3/00 and wife to Jim since 1/92
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KristinaP
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| Posted: Aug 25 2007 at 9:50am | IP Logged
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Yeah, I can definitely see that their relationships have gotten better just over the summer. We are in the Fairfax/Burke area so I hope we can come across some people that aren't so far away and basically with the same interests. I have 4 school aged children - 9, 8 both boys, 6 girl and 5 boy and a 2.5 month old girl. I'm totally jumping into this blind aside from picking out the curriculum but we're really excited to be doing this!
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CAgirl4God
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| Posted: Aug 25 2007 at 12:15pm | IP Logged
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ohmy goodness... sorry this became a book...lol. that is what I get for trying to be online right now and do ten other things at once... lol
we pulled a kid out of school twice.
our ds went to PS Kindergarten. and two yrs ago we put all three older kids at our parish school.
the first time there were NO regrets! lol we lived in Marin county CA at the time and there were some pilot programs that "people" we trying to implement into to the ciriculum and ds teacher just left a very bad taste in my mouth. she wasn't very kind to him and even bad mouthed him and put him down. so no regrets there.
we put the kids in school because I "thought" I needed a break, lol.
we loved the school, the teachers, the kids (for the most part there were couple of issues during the yr of bullying and favortism...)and I loved being part of that community and helping out at the school. they were very open to me having my baby there when I was volunteering etc... I was even room mom! lol.
but the focus of our family changed dramatically that yr. it went from being famiy centered to school-schedule centered. everything from bedtime to weekend activities. from vacations to date nights... everything changed, and became more hectic as it turned out. (I should have just taken off two months and then go back to more of a routine, lol)
along with all that, the kids changed. not only did they grow apart from each other, as someone mentioned, but they grew apart form dh and I. they were more wiling to challenge our authority and talk back. to defy, to just be plain rude and mean.
Before the kids played and worked together everyday. they were a 'team'. after being in school, it was each one for themselves. the stopped looking out for each other. they would complain about someone being near them or wanting to play with them or coming in their room etc.... there was much bickering! that really while my kids are very normal, there just wasn't as much of that before school.
the biggest change for all of us....and one I dearly regret was Daily Mass. we had worked up to four days plus Sunday for Mass. first fridays and the Divine Mercy Chaplet. we were praying at home together throughout the day and even saying the rosary some nights together.
we had more of a calm and peace in the home. during that school year it was just one big stress! rushing in the morning, rushing in the afternoon, homework, early dinner, early bedtime, no cuddle time, or talking time in the evening, (which was huge for us, as we really connected with the kids during that time). my ds esp. suffered for affection from us. dh and I were just so tired all the time. (oh and our relationship suffered, instead of getting better like a couple of people 'promised' me it would. because I would have more time to focus on him, lol....heck he was at work all day when the kids were in school, lol.)
dh was also more stressed because his whole routine and daily activities changed dramatically. he had to help out alot in the morning getting kids ready for school, and in the evenings with homework and baths, and lunch making and uniform ironing, etc...LOL
that was my break ??? LOL
anyway... I said no way can I do this again. so we brought them home again.
happy to report that after a yr and half (during which we had some family upheaval, a huge move, loss of friends, three deaths of people who were either close with of in our daily lives) the kids are getting back to what was...
a new friend commented yesterday that she loves the way ds really looks after his sisters. and that all three are so polite. and that she can tell they are close. also that it is obvious that they do love each other and think of each others feelings.
that just made my day!
so to finally answer you question, yes we pulled them out and have never regreted it.
the kids didn't miss their school friends as much as I thought. ds is involved in scouts and the couple of other boys that weren't in scouts we saw. they got to hang out.
the girls... dd#1 really never missed any of her school mates. we did get together with a couple of them from time to time, but it helped that boht families got along well. dd#2 talked forever about one girl. Lily. it was Lily this and Lily that and I miss Lily. and Lily was a very sweet wonderful little girl. but they never hung out afterwards. both family schedules just never met up. they did get to say good bye when we moved.
there were a couple of neighborhood kids that they were close with. and after school let out they would all play together. but mostly they had each other.
we are still firm believers that homeschooling is the best thing for our family.
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Home is where the Coast Guard sends us
Jamie, married to John
JC, Nugget, Christina & Judy
Chowder
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momtomany
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| Posted: Aug 25 2007 at 12:42pm | IP Logged
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I came late to homeschooling; starting with my special needs guy. When two of my other children, who had been in Catholic school, expressed an interest in being homeschooled, I asked my ds, who was also Mr Popular, what about his friends? His answer was that he didn't need to sit in a classroom all day just to be friends with someone. He kept all his former friends, along with making new, homeschooling ones. So it can be done.
Good luck with your homeschooling! I just jumped in 4 years ago and have never looked back!
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Mary Ann in PA
wife to MIchael, mom to Elizabeth, Becca, Tim, Peter, Andrew, Sarah, Matthew, John, Leah and Joseph
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KristinaP
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| Posted: Aug 26 2007 at 10:31am | IP Logged
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Thanks for everyone's responses-I feel much more at peace about this. We've decided to keep the 3 oldest home and let our youngest go to school starting K tomorrow. He's been dying to be one of the big kids so we'll let him have his "chance" and the other 3 are really excited to be at home. We'll be using CHC with maybe a mix of Angelicum. I'm sure this will be a grace filled year as God has been removing each of my own obstacles one by one as they come up. 
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: If you've pulled your kids out of school
