| Author | |
dawn2006
Forum Pro
Joined: Aug 07 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 267
|
| Posted: Aug 21 2007 at 9:24pm | IP Logged
|
 |
|
Did anyone start out homeschooling with a disinterested dh? If so, did he ever get on board? When? TIA.
__________________
Dawn Farias | wife to Ariel | mom to Gabriel 9, Daniel 7, Elizabeth 5, and Michael 3 | blogger at Be Absorbed | native Texan but currently living near Seattle
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Macmom
Forum Pro
Joined: July 06 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 193
|
| Posted: Aug 21 2007 at 10:31pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
My dh, a public school teacher at the time- and the son of 2 liberal, NEA member public school teachers- wasn't convinced at first. But when he read the Dorothy Sayer's article on "The Lost Tools of Learning" he told me as long as I was providing a classical education to the kidlets, it would be far superior, academically, to what they could receive in public or private school! (My in laws, however, still told us homeschooling was child abuse!!!) It took him about a year or two of hsing to be totally on board. Now he's my biggest fan. It was only latter that we truly began to strive for the spiritual and familial benefits of homeschooling, but we've never lost sight of academics. And dh is at every park day, talking to other dads about the goodness of this lifestyle and the great things it does for your family dynamics! (Assuming your family dynamics are healthy of course. Unhealthy family dynamics are only magnified by homeschooling!)
That being said, this is our 11th year homeschooling, and I have been the local contact for the Catholic homeschooling support group in my area for about 7 years now. (I guess they thought the MA in Edu made me qualified to walk new homeschoolers through the process!) I have, literally, helped over 100 families start out on this journey. And in the families where dad isn't on board, the homeschooling comes to an end much quicker. (and often painfully!) Mom and dad must see this as a family lifestyle, or the kids will use the conquer and divide tactic to bring about division and chaos. (Neither of which is conducive to a successful homeschooling experience.) When dad isn't "on board" it is almost impossible to continue homeschooling. Too much tension. Wife not respecting her husband's authority to decide how to educate the children makes the house out of kilter. Too many problems. I've seen it time and time again.
BUT, if dh IS on board, your homeschool has a fighting chance. Have him talk to other, pro-homeschooling dads. Pray a lot. Smile and don't give him reason to complain about the hsing lifestyle!
Peace,
Macmom
__________________
Catholic family life works on the same principle as a washing machine- clothes get clean by agitation.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
JenniferS
Forum All-Star
Joined: Nov 09 2006
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1049
|
| Posted: Aug 21 2007 at 11:37pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
My dh agreed to let me hs three years ago, but said, Don't expect me to help, and make sure the kids perform above the public school kids."(He is a public school teacher.
That changed as well as many of his attitudes toward homeschooling. He is totally on board with hs'ing, and he is pretty involved...a lot more involved then the few hs dads I know IRL. I can't say what changed his attitude other than maybe the Holy Spirit. I prayed and prayed for an attitude change because that first year was really difficult.
Jen
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Erin
Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 23 2005
Location: Australia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5814
|
| Posted: Aug 22 2007 at 5:27am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I have an irl friend whose husband (also a school teacher) grudgingly agreed to hs (after a traumatic school experience) and it was only after a number of years when he could see the 'fruit' of hsing, when his dc were teens and he could compare them to their peers that he taught that he began to tell my friend how happy he was.
I have been very blessed with my own dh who was keen to hs since our engagement days. But I know this is not always so.
__________________
Erin
Faith Filled Days
Seven Little Australians
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
EmilyC
Forum Pro
Joined: May 09 2007
Location: New Hampshire
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 250
|
| Posted: Aug 22 2007 at 7:25am | IP Logged
|
|
|
My dh was against hsing at first. He agreed for preschool and kindergarten (we don't have public K where we live) but he wanted dd to start school for 1st. I prayed a lot for his heart to change. By the end of her K year, she was reading at a 5th grade reading level, and was above grade level in most subjects. He agreed to try hsing for a while longer.
He's still not totally pro-homeschooling, but he does see that what I'm doing is working, so he allows us to continue. I would love for him to be more supportive though. I continue to pray for that.
__________________
Emily,
Wife to Rob since 8/98
Mom to 4:
Sarah (13) Robbie & Riley (10) Regina (nearly 3)
My secular lit-based curriculum:
Build Your Library curriculum
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
MrsKey
Forum Pro
Joined: Dec 21 2006
Location: Alabama
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 90
|
| Posted: Aug 22 2007 at 8:26am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Not at first. My husband's reaction to home education was, "Isn't that for those religious nuts?"
When I told him I definitely wanted to home school and told him why (it stemmed from the registration visit to the public school my daughter was suppose to attend) he very grudgingly agreed to a one-year trial.
That was 6 years ago. With the exception of one semester in a Catholic school (due to employment changes) we've home schooled the entire time. He's definitely on board now.
Once he saw how much easier our days and weeks were (no homework until 10 at night, able to schedule vacations only based on his work schedule not around the school schedule, no overwhelming make-up work for missed school days, being able to schedule doctor/dentist appointments with relative ease, more time for extra-curricular activities) as well as how much she was learning - Well he got on board really quickly!
__________________
J.M.J.
Carole
Wife to Tom since '94 and mom to Bree since '96
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
CAgirl4God
Forum Pro
Joined: May 04 2007
Location: Puerto Rico
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 419
|
| Posted: Aug 22 2007 at 10:54am | IP Logged
|
|
|
my dh was onboard at first, but when it wasn't 'exactly' like he 'thought' it should be, he became displeased.
he wanted to see more classroom at home and I was rapidly running in the other direction. LOL
what does keep him happy and supported is seeing how our family relates, how the kids treat us and each other, hearing that they did some kind of bookwork and reading each day (he likes to be able to see what they have done, esp in the core subjects), and hearing how excited they are about what they have done.
he gets nervous and discouraged when the kids aren't not on the same level with kids their own age/grade. I gently remind him that not all kids 'in school' are on the same level either. that our kids are working at their own pace, which is a good thing, and that they are learning and loving it. they WIll be ready for college if that is what they choose. lol.
but thankfully he agrees with my core reasons for hsing. in that area we are the same. how we execute said 'schooling' is where some conflict comes in at times.
and he likes these benefits too! 
Once he saw how much easier our days and weeks were (no homework until 10 at night, able to schedule vacations only based on his work schedule not around the school schedule, no overwhelming make-up work for missed school days, being able to schedule doctor/dentist appointments with relative ease, more time for extra-curricular activities) as well as how much she was learning - Well he got on board really quickly!
__________________
Home is where the Coast Guard sends us
Jamie, married to John
JC, Nugget, Christina & Judy
Chowder
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
dawn2006
Forum Pro
Joined: Aug 07 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 267
|
| Posted: Aug 22 2007 at 2:51pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Wife not respecting her husband's authority to decide how to educate the children makes the house out of kilter.
This is an issue in our house. I was telling dh the other day that I have a hard time listening to his conclusions about what we should do when he has spent zero time researching homeschool methods and/or curriculums. I've spent untold hours and a few years doing so. His conclusions are basically "buy a curriculum and stick with it until you've finished it." I am grateful, though, that he is letting us get started with homeschooling. I thought I saw part of a post in this thread about the dangers of the mom complaining to the dh too much. Maybe not but I just read the following quote in Terri Maxwell's "Homeschoolilng with a Meek and Quiet Spirit" and thought I'd share it here...even though I can't find the part of the post I thought I remembered. At any rate, it gets to the heart of the conversation that dh and I had yesterday which ended up in my crying...which did nothing to affirm for dh that I can, in fact, handle the kids, the house, the baby coming, AND start homeschooling.  Without further ado...
Quote: Keep in mind: it is entirely possible that a loving husband, one who does not want his wife to "suffer", might suggest she quit homeschooling even though he wishes her to cnntinue. This will usually be the result of the wife having regularly complained about her struggles, fears, and failures. Eventually, despite his heart's desire, the husband will decide homeschooling is just too much for his wife. Therefore, consider well the possible consequences of not developing a meek and quiet spirit.
Some colleagues at work yesterday were telling him (as always) the standard remarks concerning why we would be having more children. Someone remarked that I must be looking forward to the oldest going to school to which my dh replied that I would be hsing to which they all replied "Are you crazy? You're wife is going to go insane at home all by herself all the time with all the kids," etc. So, yeah, he does worry for me. His father tells him the same things "Watch out for her. You don't want her to become depressed or something like that." I'm starting to think that our hearing sentiments like this from everybody are counterproductive to a positive outlook. Anyway... rambling now...signing off.
__________________
Dawn Farias | wife to Ariel | mom to Gabriel 9, Daniel 7, Elizabeth 5, and Michael 3 | blogger at Be Absorbed | native Texan but currently living near Seattle
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Teakafrog
Forum Newbie
Joined: Aug 20 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 27
|
| Posted: Aug 22 2007 at 3:09pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I am currently trying to convince DH. After showing him the pros of it, he has said he is 'warming up to the idea' of HSing our son for high school, but only because there is no Catholic high school within an hour and a half of here. The little girls, he still wants to send to our parish school when they are old enough. Now I want to HS them too! I still have a couple years to convince him, the girls are only 2 and 8mo.
His reason is valid--that I'm not organized. I totally agree. But I still know that I can do this. I would HAVE to. I was very organized at work, but now that I SAH, not so much.  So I am really trying hard to get everything researched and as figured out as I can before we start.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
KerryK
Forum Pro
Joined: June 30 2006
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 265
|
| Posted: Aug 22 2007 at 7:45pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I always wanted to HS, but for my dh, it took seeing the other side of the fence to convince him. We've had our kids in the parish catholic school for the past few years, and dh is not impressed with the academics, spirituality, or social development going on in that place.
I pulled DS out of school last spring, and let DD finish her kindergarten year there. This year we are all at home, and dh is toatally on board!
__________________
Kerry
Mom to
Matthew (10)
Mary (6)
New baby Samuel 2/26/07!
and 9 angels in heaven
The Eyes of My Heart
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
ann@home
Forum Pro
Joined: April 26 2007
Location: Iowa
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 169
|
| Posted: Aug 22 2007 at 10:21pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
My Dh was very against it. We had a less than impressive yr in part-time K and I had been doing lots of research all yr about it. I kept showing him different info but he was not interested. He knew no one that homeschooled and only thought of the stereotypes and that his kids would not get the benefits of sports, etc.
Long story short.....we absolutely did not agree and I had to tell them that he needed to trust me on this and we'd try it for 1 semester (1st gr).
He didn't really comment at all or support it for the first semester but didn't say to go back to school either. I started introducing him to other hs parents and he could see others that were "like us" and it wasn't so out of the ordinary here.
He really had to see to believe. No amount of articles or books could persuade him. He had to live it and see our son learn and grow.
Now he is a huge support and talks about hsing thru high school.
__________________
Ann, Full-time Mama of a 10yr old Lego master, 7yr old DIVA, 4yr old King of the Mountain and one more in June '09!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
|
|
Forum Locked) 
4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Was your dh always on board w/hsing?
