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PDyer
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| Posted: June 02 2007 at 8:03pm | IP Logged
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We attended a birthday party for a young member of our extended family today. The birthday girl received several Webkinz as gifts. There was much discussion about how several of my daughter's cousins (ranging in age from 12 down to just-turned-6) have the toys and 'talk' to each other on the internet, how educational the toys are, etc. My husband and I have the feeling these toys will be knocking at our door come fall when my daughter turns six.
We know nothing about Webkinz other than what we heard today, so as far as I know there is nothing *wrong with them. However, our gut reaction is we would rather not introduce internet-based imaginative play to her at this young age.
On that side of the family we are considered over-the-top protective and controlling of what our kids watch and play with. Homeschooling is viewed as a problem. I have heard many suggestions over the years that I really need to get a job instead of obsessing over my children. The idea I would joyfully welcome another child was met with horror and disbelief. As you see we have *very different views of life. Consequently, we've had to engage over several matters in the past, so I have no reason to expect this matter to be different. 
How do you all handle these types of issues with extended family? Should we address it up front, or should we wait to see if the toys arrive and deal with it then? Any suggestions would be appreciated.
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Patty
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MommyD
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| Posted: June 02 2007 at 8:12pm | IP Logged
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Sorry, I know nothing of Webkinz. I'm sure someone here can help with that. But, in this house, unwanted toys ~disappear~ as if by magic. It is very seldom that they are missed. No reason to make more trouble for yourself by arguing with them (eta: by 'them' I mean the extended family, not your children) because you know you won't change their minds.
Good luck!!
Melissa
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kingvozzo
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| Posted: June 02 2007 at 8:28pm | IP Logged
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My dd5 (6 in July) rec'd a webkinz from my father-in-law's wife, just before Easter. She's a lovely woman in many respects, but sends gift I don't often care for. The webkinz itself is just a stuffed animal --think Beanie Baby--(no electronic parts) but it comes with a secret code. The code allows you to enter into an online community, with currency, jobs, etc (if I recall--I did look into it a bit at the time.) I def. didn't want my dd doing anything online, so that part was nixed completely. I ended up returning it (and the adorable carrying bag that came with it). (and promptly lost the store credit gift card 
The toy itself is harmless--I just don't dig the online portion.
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Noreen
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Mare
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| Posted: June 03 2007 at 9:21am | IP Logged
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I think you'll get varying answers on how to handle it depending on each family's house rules for internet use.
When the Webkinz crazed hit our extended family, I just waited until we received a Webkinz. I didn't want to draw attention to Webkinz unnecessarily.
We do allow our children to use the internet and play online games. When my children (7yrs. and younger) received the stuffed animals for gifts, we just told them that they had to limit their time on the Webkinz site. They have been fine with that.
My children are not into it like their cousin. I think they've been on that site once in the last 3 months or so. They'd rather be playing something else.
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Mary Chris
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| Posted: June 03 2007 at 12:24pm | IP Logged
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I recently found out my dd12 recieved a Webkinz for a Christmas gift last year. I had no idea it was a Webkinz until just recently, (I don't think she did either  )
I personally can't stand animal toys that have to be taken care of online or electronic games, we have two real cats and a real dog that should be getting their attention. 
That being said, they have bought their own nintendogs game, although as I suspected the allure wore off quickly. They also spend some time playing games online on Millsberry. I just moniter their game playing computer time the best I can.
I just realizied I didn't answer your question.
When my children were younger and people asked about gifts I would list some things I liked. I did not usually say a blanket no on any toy. If they get things I would rather not have in the house I usually offer to replace them with something else.
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mom to MacKenzie3/95, Carter 12/97 Ronan 3/00 and wife to Jim since 1/92
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PDyer
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| Posted: June 03 2007 at 2:41pm | IP Logged
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Oh dear I have a sense that I wrote my initial post poorly. I don't mean to imply criticism of other families whose kids play on the internet.
What I was trying to say is I put internet play in the same category as more watching mature movies or getting involved in extracurricular sports or any other typically optional activities. Some things we choose to do, and some we don't, and we all have our reasons for our choices under our particular circumstances. For this particular child at this particular time, we'd rather not 'go there' with the internet toys.
We've disappeared toys in the past; we've offered lists of suggestions; we've explained our reasoning for saying we'd rather not do XYZ. The people involved get upset, really upset. Feelings get hurt. I wish there was some way we could avoid all the hurt feelings...
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Patty
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Mary Chris
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| Posted: June 03 2007 at 6:23pm | IP Logged
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PDyer wrote:
Oh dear I have a sense that I wrote my initial post poorly. I don't mean to imply criticism of other families whose kids play on the internet.
What I was trying to say is I put internet play in the same category as more watching mature movies or getting involved in extracurricular sports or any other typically optional activities. Some things we choose to do, and some we don't, and we all have our reasons for our choices under our particular circumstances. For this particular child at this particular time, we'd rather not 'go there' with the internet toys.
We've disappeared toys in the past; we've offered lists of suggestions; we've explained our reasoning for saying we'd rather not do XYZ. The people involved get upset, really upset. Feelings get hurt. I wish there was some way we could avoid all the hurt feelings... |
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I did not feel you were critical at all. We are all allowed to have our own opinions and every family is different. I was worried about responding to your post because I had a few sleepless nights this weekend. I really was just trying to say we had a Webdkinz and didn't even know it.  I really had no clue why my dd godparents had sent her a stuffed lion  .
Also, the gift receiving problem is a difficult one. We want to be gracious and yet we want to stick to our guns. That is why when my kids were younger I would work it out with them, not the gift giver. I would just tell my kiddos to smile, say thank you, and then we would go to the toy store and buy something else.
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mom to MacKenzie3/95, Carter 12/97 Ronan 3/00 and wife to Jim since 1/92
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PDyer
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| Posted: June 03 2007 at 7:16pm | IP Logged
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marychris wrote:
Also, the gift receiving problem is a difficult one. We want to be gracious and yet we want to stick to our guns. That is why when my kids were younger I would work it out with them, not the gift giver. I would just tell my kiddos to smile, say thank you, and then we would go to the toy store and buy something else.
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That makes perfect sense to me. However, we find ourselves being asked about toys in advance. So, in a situation where the gift giver is telling you she intends to buy your child a toy who would rather your child not have, what would you do? We find ourselves in this position all the time.
It seems deceitful to me to say something like, "Oh that would be lovely" or "I'm sure she'd love that' while intending to return the item to the store. Stating any form of 'no thank you' only results in hurt feelings.
Feeling pretty socially inept here...
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Patty
Mom of ds (7/96) and dd (9/01) and two angels (8/95 and 6/08)
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sewcrazy
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If I am asked about a gift, I will answer honestly. If they didn't really want my opinion, they shouldn't have asked.  My kids have been taught to smile and say thanks, no matter what the gift is.
I am sorry your family is making you feel uncomfortable. I understand. I went through this with my family for many years. It has been much calmer the last few. I think they just gave up "normalizing" me.
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DominaCaeli
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| Posted: June 04 2007 at 12:34am | IP Logged
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PDyer wrote:
| We've disappeared toys in the past; we've offered lists of suggestions; we've explained our reasoning for saying we'd rather not do XYZ. The people involved get upset, really upset. Feelings get hurt. I wish there was some way we could avoid all the hurt feelings... |
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We've already had these battles and we only have two infants My husband goes nuts over our family's out-of-control gift-giving and wants to take a hardline approach to avoid its getting even worse in the future; I'm a little more intimidated by family confrontations than he is...not to mention that MY family is the one taking things like this personally. I'm reading through the suggestions here with interest...
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Celeste
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graciefaith
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| Posted: June 05 2007 at 10:20am | IP Logged
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Oh wow, i just found out about Webkinz. I'm actually considering buying it for my dd's this Christmas. They are allowed to play pc games and a few games online. They are very much into stuffed animals. The usual restrictions would apply with pc games though so taht would not change. I have to talk to DH about these though and see what he thinks.
eta: dd's are not into electronical games too much. They hardly ever play on the PC. I dont think having a webkinz would change that for them. They are just not into those kind of games.
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MarilynW
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| Posted: July 06 2007 at 10:27am | IP Logged
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My boys just received Webkinz for their birthday. I have to say that I do not like them. My daughter knew a lot more about them because most of the kids she knows in our homeschool group and and ballet class, and my nieces have them. I never liked them before we had them - because I could see how much time kids spent online with them and because all the kids just want to get more and more of them. I have watched the online stuff and parents justify it by saying it teaches them about chores and budgeting - but we have enough real chores and real budgeting to do
My boys have had them for about 3 days and I am not happy at all - all the kids are fascinated and would prefer to be online on the Webkinz site than spending time on all the other hobbies they have. I am thinking of restricting time to the weekends for a very short period.
Just my 0.02 - and I do prefer my kids to be playing outside or games which do not involve computers or electronics - so I am a bit biased!!
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Marilyn
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Webkinz
