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MarilynW
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| Posted: April 12 2007 at 11:26pm | IP Logged
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With all those pregnancy hormones I am starting to worry about all sorts of things. I am a home loving person - and many of our activities are focused on home and family. Plus with some of the pregnancy problems we are doing less than usual. My kids are happy at home and playing with each other. But I am trying to figure out if they are missing out. The boys are at soccer up to 5 times a week, and my daughter has ballet, art and music. But they have no close friends apart from each other - they seem very happy with this - but I am trying to figure out whether I should be making more effort.
Any advice on friends and the dreaded S word?
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Marilyn
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: April 12 2007 at 11:42pm | IP Logged
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don't worry about it  is my advice, sounds like you're doing plenty and not everyone will have close "best friends".
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Erin
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| Posted: April 13 2007 at 2:37am | IP Logged
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MarilynW wrote:
But they have no close friends apart from each other - they seem very happy with this - but I am trying to figure out whether I should be making more effort.
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Goodness you are doing so much already.
My dearest wish is that my dc see their siblings as their closest friends. Sounds like it is working in your case 
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doris
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| Posted: April 13 2007 at 4:52am | IP Logged
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I wrote an anguished post about this a while back! Like the others said, it sounds like your children are doing loads already, and it's wonderful that they're such good friends. Mine are good friends too, and since we've moved they haven't really made bosom buddies.
The thing is, I think the model of children having close friends outside the family is probably based on kids who go to school -- because of course they need to have company there, and then that carries on outside school. For home educated children, the needs and the lifestyle are completely different.
I think as long as they're happy, you have nothing to worry about. In my limited experience, children are quite good at telling you what they need, and doing things at the right time for them.
Praying for peace of mind for you in all things.
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Mary G
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| Posted: April 13 2007 at 8:22am | IP Logged
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Marilyn -- "it ain't broke" so you don't need to fix it....when your kids will need outside friends, they will start socializing more with the kids on soccer or ballet; but sounds like they're just fine right now.
And having your best friends be your siblings is actually a very good thing -- something that makes a family so much richer and able to stand the stressful times (like a new baby coming in, etc). Think Swallows and Amazons -- they were a very tight-knit group of siblings, but when the Amazons came along they incorporated them too ....
Don't worry, put your feet up and enjoy the chatter of siblings enjoying each other.....
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Maria B.
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| Posted: April 13 2007 at 9:45am | IP Logged
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Friends outside the family can be nice, but also very stressful and time consuming. When the kids are little, they can often complicate life. Don't worry. Siblings make the best friends - you know their parents, their values, what stuff is filling their heads, etc. Be at peace!
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MarilynW
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| Posted: April 13 2007 at 3:01pm | IP Logged
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Thanks everyone for reassuring me. It is my wish too that my kids are best friends - and my husband and I both fairly home focused individuals - so it is not too much of a surprise the kids are happy to be home. I am pleased (if not surprised) that even my 10 yod dd who is the only girl is so happy to be "pottering about" at home - reading, baking,painting,sewing or just hanging out with her brothers.
I just occasionally get the nagging doubt about whether they are "missing out" on "something". I have long learned to ignore the remarks of extended family or public school friends who wonder how we do without the constant round of parties and playdates.
The one thing that is a legitimate worry for me is making sure that they do have a good network in the teenage years - I am not happy with our parish but we are praying for guidance on this issue. I think during the teenage years they need some good friends - but I still have a few years to get there.
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Marilyn
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Socialization - how much?
