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Angel
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| Posted: April 12 2007 at 4:05pm | IP Logged
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I wondered if some of you could share what you do to find happiness, especially in hard times. I find myself feeling exhausted and overwhelmed quite frequently (pregnancy has a lot to do with it, and this winter that won't end!!  ), and frankly, I'm tired of it. You know, there's living and then there's mere existence, and mere existence is not fun!
Anyway, I'm looking for inspiration for little things. It's unlikely I'm going to be able to keep my house completely clean (which would help) in the near future, and until it warms up, I can't get my kids out of the house long enough for me to do a serious decluttering OR to spend long periods of time outside myself, which would also help. Just small things that are doable for a pregnant mom with 18 month old twins. 
--Angela
Three Plus Two
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Erin
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| Posted: April 13 2007 at 3:00am | IP Logged
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Angel wrote:
Just small things that are doable for a pregnant mom with 18 month old twins.
Three Plus Two |
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I missed this,!! Congratualtions   Btw, you blog is one of my favourite places to visit 
To answer your question, I know last year when we moved and I found the small house/ no personal space difficult, the first thing that helped was to talk to God constantly. I was sliding into this depressed state and realised I was missing my 'talk time' with Our Lord.
Then I had to make myself stop and really 'enjoy' my dc. To stop and listen to them, not just think about what needed to be done next. I finally found peace when I made certain to go for a nature walk with them, to stop and read with them, to actually sit and play with them not just set them up. It helped me to realise the whole point of why I was doing it all. My dc are pretty nice people after all who can be fun to be with. 
Its hard I know 
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Erin
Faith Filled Days
Seven Little Australians
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Willa
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Erin wrote:
| Then I had to make myself stop and really 'enjoy' my dc. To stop and listen to them, not just think about what needed to be done next. I finally found peace when I made certain to go for a nature walk with them, to stop and read with them, to actually sit and play with them not just set them up. It helped me to realise the whole point of why I was doing it all. My dc are pretty nice people after all who can be fun to be with. |
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Spunky wrote a post tying in this concept with the Playing in the Subway article.
Quote:
| ....in my busyness, I was beginning to miss the "music" that was all around me. I am hearing it once again AND I have the time to stop and listen. It isn't Joshua Bell, but my own children playing their instruments, singing while on a swing, or the "music" of the mixing bowls clanging as we bake bread together. It's all music and I don't want to miss another note. |
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It really made me think, so I thought I'd share.
When Aidan was in the hospital, I made a list (in my head) of things that brought joy. Then I would try to make space for them. Whatever works -- for me, it was sharing a latte with my husband, going out to the courtyard to look at the trees and say a prayer, writing out a scripture in calligraphy. Not very ambitious but packaged in with joy for me.
You can look at your expectations and see if that is causing the frustration. Often is, for me.
My mother in law is gifted at 5 minute pick-ups/declutters/cleanups. From watching her I learned that you can really get something done in five minutes. She'd restore a room while the baby was in the high chair having a snack -- things like that.
I try to have a couple of things that I can have on my to-do list that make me feel good about what I've done. Made bed, a clean sink, morning prayers, math, an evening storytime with the littlies. That is the kind of thing it comes down to sometimes, but it provides accomplishment and with those done I can usually add a bit more on.
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AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
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Lisbet
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| Posted: April 13 2007 at 7:02am | IP Logged
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Angela,
I struggled with this myself a few years ago, really, really struggled. After much prayer, and insight and help from a close friend, I realized that joy, being joyful, was my call to evangelization. I needed to be a joyful wife and mother, I needed to witness that joy to my family, friends, and everyone else in my path each day.
But how could I be joyful when I couldn't find joy (even though I had every reason to be joyful, as God's blessing on me abounds!) I didn't feel joy????
In a word - PRETEND. I began to pretend to be joyful even though I didn't feel it, see it, or sometimes, want to be.
Soon, it became easier, it was like I formed the habit of joy.
I still don't often 'feel' joyful, but I've learned not to rely to heavily on my feelings, and more on my duties, and my duty is definetly to be joyful.
I don't know if this helped you any. I just wanted to share my method of joyfulness.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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florasita
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| Posted: April 13 2007 at 7:09am | IP Logged
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look to the little things .
I quite often suffer from SAD in the winter . As well some of us just do go through much suffering in life via abuse , cancer , the loss of a spouse etc. . Life is not meant to always feel good . Often the joy is found later in the review of the experience . Often it is simply being able to turn to God to get us through and wait .
So to find joy in those hard times I look to the little things like the blue sky ( which in reality is not that little is it ) a leaf on a tree , dance with your kids , have a nap , take a tub .
All these are forms of prayer . God has given us all our way in which we have that grace of union with him .
This is one of the first things I learned in my formation . Finding your way of prayer .
For me my biggest form of prayer is nature so that is why I can often find joy in the little sparrow etc. my union with God is the greatest while interacting in nature . Makes sence as it is his creation too
Dancing is another . I always wanted to be a professional dancer. It never happened but I see why I love dance now ,my union is very much with him while dancing .
The little things . Remember God is simple in the end its often us who make it complicated . Much Lov to You , Rox
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May I rise & rest with words of Gratitude on my Breath
May I have the Heart & Mind of a Child in my Depth
May I forever remember to be a Light
May Peace Love & Hope be My Sight
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amyable
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Here are two threads I come back to often:
Motherhood and Choosing Joy
and
Where has the joy of life gone?
HTH, I have no other advice, as I am struggling (probably hormonally) right now myself. OK, I take that back...one thing I've learned is never to trust my FEELINGS when I'm pregnant!
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Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of 
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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Becky Parker
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I recently talked to a wonderful priest in confession about my attitude. I have been struggling with similiar things, basically being joyful. He told me to cultivate a thankful heart, which I didn't realize I was lacking. He said to make it a part of my every day prayer, listing those things that I was thankful for. He told me also that when those thoughts that "bring me down" enter in, I need to really combat them, not let them sink in too deep, and start thanking God for all I can think of. This was a recent conversation and I haven't "arrived" yet, but one thing it has helped me to see is the root of most of it. It usually starts with one little thought and then builds and pretty soon the whole day is "gloom and doom". I have to battle those negative thoughts right away, before they take over, and, as was already mentioned, sometimes even "fake" the joy! I read once that some of the saints battled sinful inclinations my practicing the opposite virtue, even to the point of "faking" that virtue until it sunk in.
Anyway, you're not alone. I will pray for you.
(By the way I am also pregnant and in Michigan where this winter's end seems a long way off yet.)
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Wife to Wes, Mom to 6 wonderful kids on Earth and 4 in Heaven!
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Lisbet
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ACK!! Becky, I'm in Ohio and winter is indeed d-r-a-g-g-i-n-g on this year!! At least the sun is shining today, an afternoon walk may be doable, and that always helps my mood.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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Erin
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Becky Parker wrote:
| I recently talked to a wonderful priest in confession about my attitude. I have been struggling with similiar things, basically being joyful. He told me to cultivate a thankful heart, which I didn't realize I was lacking. He said to make it a part of my every day prayer, listing those things that I was thankful for. |
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This is such good advice. Reminds me that around the time I was stuggling with this issue you ladies started the Thankful Thursday blogs. I never actually physically wrote but I sure wrote lots of mental lists.
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Erin
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marihalojen
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Erin wrote:
| This is such good advice. Reminds me that around the time I was stuggling with this issue you ladies started the Thankful Thursday blogs. I never actually physically wrote but I sure wrote lots of mental lists. |
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Oooh! A Joyful Easter list along the lines of the Thankful Thursdays would be a great way to celebrate this Easter Season, wouldn't it?
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Mother to Mariannna, age 13
The Mari Hal-O-Jen
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Mary G
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This may sound flippant (BUT I'm not being silly) but what about "raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens" -- in other words put on music that makes you smile with memories of your own childhood, or musicals that make the kids want to get up and sing and dance with you ...
It's hard not to have joy when you're dancing around a living room with your kiddoes....or singing at the top of your voice something completely silly or joyfilled?
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my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
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Angel
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| Posted: April 15 2007 at 7:49pm | IP Logged
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Thank you all for your suggestions . I do try to list at least 5 things I am grateful for every day -- even if mentally as I'm drifting off to sleep -- but I've been letting that slip a bit lately. I also like Willa's idea of a list of things to do that make her happy. We're in a bit of a different situation where we're fairly far away from anything to *do* really, and I only have the car certain days of the week for now, so going out is a little tough. (Plus often exhausting with the twins!) Anyway, we've all been sick (one thing after another)and it's gotten so cold again that getting out has been kind of difficult. I know things will get better when it gets warmer, but until then... I'm trying to latch onto those little things!
I also really like Jennifer's Joyful Easter idea. I was thinking that maybe I could host a weekly "Finding Joy" carnival on my blog for the Easter season... maybe on Wednesdays, as a sort of pick-me-up? I was hoping to post something along those lines today, but dh has been down with a migraine most of the day and I haven't had time.
--Angela
Three Plus Two
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Michaela
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Everyone has given you such good advice, Angela.
I have done what has been suggested. I'm not sure if anything would have helped when I was in the depths of my depression.
Now, however, faking it...singing....praying...repeating scripture verses....talking to God.....getting out, even in the rain....mainly being thankful for where I am because I know where I've been....all help.
We recently start the day by singing Psalm 118:24 during calendar time.
This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad.
The last three verses my children have memorized are because I repeat them so much in my mind I decided to share them.
During frustrating times or when I feel overwhelmed I repeat Phillipians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (sometimes I just say I can do all things through Christ!.)
or I remind myself to...take every thought captive 2 Cor 10:5 when I'm thinking things I shouldn't.
I'd love to participate in a weekly "finding joy" carnival. A few months ago, many of us posted positive things about our husband. It was wonderful!! I caught myself looking at things he did differently. Noticing how much positive he did.
Sharing moments of joy or thankfulness would be a blessing.
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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asplendidtime
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Thankyou all for the good suggestions. I am really thankful to have been able to read this.
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Rebecca~Mama to
Noah 17,
Katie 16,
Mary 14,
Tim 13,
Jonah 12,
Josh 10,
Zoe 9,
Will 7,
Peter 6,
Laura-Mae 4,
Emily-Joy 2,
Genevieve & Gabriella 1
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mairejam5
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I have been blessed by this thread. Thank you.
Maire
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Finding joy
