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Nina Murphy
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I didn't want to hijack the prayer intention for Ruth's good news about her pregnancy and request for prayers about her mother's negativity, so I am starting a new thread to ask you all who said that your mothers react in a similar way (if it's not too personal)  :
1) Are your mothers Catholic (and raised in a practicing Catholic family)?
2) Were they open to life and a large family themselves?
3) Were they divorced? Remarried?
I am very interested in this topic. For me, no on 1a. and 1b., no on 2., yes on 3a and 3b. 
Thank you, to any of you dear ladies, for sharing this personal information. 
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God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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amyable
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I'm going to answer this even though my parents had a "turn around" *good* reaction to the news of #5 (we were very pleasantly surprised!!) - my mom had bad reactions to #2, #3, and #4...
1) Are your mothers Catholic (and raised in a practicing Catholic family)?
My mom was raised Catholic, but more like a "Sunday/Cafeteria Catholic".
2) Were they open to life and a large family themselves?
My mom had only one brother. Her mom left her husaband when it became clear that the man was not going to support them (they did not divorce, only separated, but there was very little contact from what I know. My mother almost never talked about it). Now HER mom (my grandmother) was one of 6 or 7. My own mother only had one biological child (my brother), and adopted me. From what I can tell though, they were totally happy with the one boy/one girl family and didn't WANT more even if they could.
3) Were they divorced? Remarried?
Not my parents, but my grandmother was separated as stated above. My other grandmother was widowed early. I think these things did affect my parents reactions to my larger than average family.
Honestly, I think my parents' bad reactions were due to 2 factors: worry, especially because I had bad PPD after #1 and #2; and having bought hook, line, and sinker the media/general culture's idea of "responsible parenthood means 1 or maybe 2 kids." Even though I was raised Catholic, I never heard or understood the true Catholic idea of being totally open to life (i.e. needing a *serious* reason to hold off on welcoming another) until several years AFTER we were married. And we took a pre-cana AND an NFP class! 
I want to add on the good note though - my parents had a WONDERFUL reaction to #5. Now that they have moved nearer to us and see what tremendous joy my grandchildren bring, how I'm *handling* it all OK, etc, they are just happy to have MORE joy coming into their lives. Truly a miracle! 
__________________
Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of 
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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Nina Murphy
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Thank you for posting this, Amy. YOU are a miracle---thank you for sharing about your adoption and the beautiful witness you are living now. See how God worked? What if you hadn't been? That's the beautiful miracle, to me.
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God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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Lisbet
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Interesting. It's really a sad situation.
1.) My mother was raised in a nominally Catholic family, there was alot of verbal and physical abuse though. She is one of five. She is no longer practicing, at all. She is 'shopping'.
2.) My mother had a full hysterectomy at age 19, I have no idea why, it was before she was married. My brother and I are both adopted. I can honestly say I have never known my mother to be truely happy.
3.) My mom and dad have been married for nearly 34 years now.
Her reaction to every single one of my pregnancies has been negative. This one was particularly bad, she was very dramatic in front of the other children too. Then she apologized, only to totally attack me over the phone two weeks ago. I was stunned. It's even harder now, because I know she's not happy for us, and she has recently moved closer to us. I'm not sure how to handle things at the moment.
__________________
Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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Nina Murphy
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I am in happy shock right now at how you two are both adopted, Amy and Lisa!!! Is that a coincidence, or what, that you are the two who responded? 
God works in a special way through you, I believe. His awesome Providence amazes me.....
__________________
God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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Nina Murphy
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How DO you find your courage and joy, Lisa? (God's grace, of course  )--- I mean, maybe because your parents stayed together and gave you a stable home, that made a profound sub-conscious difference........ I'm just musing.
....You are a true light!! You need to write a book, I'm serious.
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God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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momwats8
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1) Yes my Mom was raised and still is Catholic but I would say she is very much a Sunday Catholic
2) They were open to a point. There are 4 of us of which I am the youngest. They had my sister and brother 14 months apart and then felt they had the go ahead to use birth control or else they would constantly be pregnant. My dad will tell me that God will understand if we use birth contorl and that if He wants us to have babies he will give them to us anyway - huh? is what I think. They are part of the late 60's early 70's church mentality that if you can't handle it then just use birth control. He is more accepting than my Mom though.
3) My parents have been married for 43 years. They have a good marriage and they say that they could not handle anymore children emotionally.
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Mary- Wife to Mike and Mother to Austin(92), Mikey(95), R.J.(97), Benedict(98), Kolbe(00), Ignatius(02), Christian(03), Margaret(05),&4 angels in heaven
http://www.momwats8.blogspot.com
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Maryan
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Ladies, I am completely blessed.
I have an amazing mother: born and raised Catholic, married at 29 and had 7 kids (and even more miscarriages), married to my Dad for almost 38 years. I am forever indebted to her for my faith, my life and her wonderful example. She is also an AMAZING grandmother.
__________________
Maryan
Mom to 6 boys & 1 girl: JP('01), B ('03), M('05), L('06), Ph ('08), M ('10), James born 5/1/12
A Lee in the Woudes
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marihalojen
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1) Are your mothers Catholic (and raised in a practicing Catholic family)?
Mom is a Catholic but was raised as a nothing, I guess. The only religious story I know of her childhood was the frantic search instigated by one of her brothers disappearing when he was little. He finally showed up in the back alley sopping wet. The Baptist Church directly across the road had taken him down to the river and tossed him in - he's saved! Glory be! For the rest of his life Grandpa chose Sunday mornings for sawing wood or mowing grass or even sending my sister and I over to the Baptist playground to play or pick dandelions for his wine.  Doesn't that emoticon look like a little smiley dandelion?
2) Were they open to life and a large family themselves?
She had three brothers and I have three sisters.
3) Were they divorced? Remarried?
No and no.
__________________
~Jennifer
Mother to Mariannna, age 13
The Mari Hal-O-Jen
SSR = Sailing, Snorkling, Reading
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Marybeth
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1) My Mom is a strong and courageous Catholic...totally open about her faith and very passionate about her beliefs..she carries medals,rosaries and holy water in her purse and will literally pray with and for anyone,anytime and any place. It is not abnormal for my Dad to find her in the aisles of the grocery store praying with an employee or an friend regarding a situation/problem in their life. She buys catechisms all the time to give to people so they can learn about the church's teachings.
That said I have 2 older brothers who are not practicing Catholics due primarily to goofiness abounding in the 70s in Catholic schools. ugh! My Mom's huge heartbreak...she prays daily for them and invokes St. Monica and St. Michael intercessions for their souls.
2. My Mom is totally open to life and having a large family. It was just you got married and had babies. No questions..this was the plan...your vocation is to your husband and children. She has pounded this into my sister and I for a long long time.
My sister was born 3 weeks after their first anniversary and my two brothers in less than 2 years later. My Mom always loves saying it was so fun to say my children are 3,2 and 1. Then there was 6 years and I came along and another brother a year later. They received much scorn when she was pregnant with my brother and told they should be on the pill. They didn't but no further babies came along.
3. My parents have been married for 45 years. My Mom has already said she is never remarrying b/c my father knows her flaws and won't let any other man see anything. 
As a matter of fact,I just got off the phone with her and she is calling her parish priest b/c she is sick of going to funerals b/c they never mention purgatory and thinks it needs to be addressed immediately.
Sorry to be rambling...I had surgery on Friday and haven't been out of house...in need of adult conversation!!! 
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Marybeth (Mb)
http://held-together.blogspot.com
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Nina Murphy
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Oh how grateful to God you are, I'm sure, Mb!!! Thanks for writing....you did NOT ramble! And if you need more convo, you know where to turn!
__________________
God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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Philothea
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My mom is not Catholic, was never Catholic, hates the Catholic church, and is beyond horrified that I'm now Catholic.
She gets annoyed at the mere mention of babies. She asked my dad to get sterilized after my sister was born (there are only the two of us). Of course, she now loves the one grandchild we have given her, but she was angry when we announced that pregnancy (it was too soon after our wedding for her taste). Whenever I talk about wanting another (we've been trying for a while), she says "What's the rush?" He is nearly 3 years old! What rush? She did have PPD after both my sister and I were born, though, so I wonder how much that contributes to her negative feelings about children.
All that said, however, she and my dad married five days after her 18th birthday and have been married 40 years now. So that has always been a tremendous blessing in my life. I am so grateful to them for sticking it out even though things weren't always easy for them. It set an amazing example.
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joann10
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My mom was raised a Lutheran and converted to get married to my father in the Catholic Church.
They had five children and were always opened to children but always afraid that they would have 'to many'. My mom has always stated that God would certainly understand it we used birth control because I have had so many critical health issues. She does tell me monthly that I had better not be pregnant again, but when the time comes that I am, she always is supportive. She does tell me that "I asked for this" so I am very careful not to be too negative to her when I am having a bad day.
My mom and dad will celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary this June
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Fuzzy
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I know Jenn would be much more eloquent, but I want to say how very blessed we are with my dear mom! My mother is a wonderful Catholic - and to give you an idea of where Jenn gets her enthusiasm and love for the faith, it was passed on by my mother! She was born and raised Catholic, married at 17 (but she will say she was 18) and had Jenn first, followed by 6 more!
My parents were divorced at one time and my father did remarry. But, with our daily rosary, always offered for my dad, my parents got back together and got "married" again! They have been married for 42 years!
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Fuzzy
Mom to DS 12, DD 10, DS 7, and DS 4, and DD 1!
Fuzzy Memories
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JennGM
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Fuzzy wrote:
I know Jenn would be much more eloquent, but I want to say how very blessed we are with my dear mom! My mother is a wonderful Catholic - and to give you an idea of where Jenn gets her enthusiasm and love for the faith, it was passed on by my mother! She was born and raised Catholic, married at 17 (but she will say she was 18) and had Jenn first, followed by 6 more!
My parents were divorced at one time and my father did remarry. But, with our daily rosary, always offered for my dad, my parents got back together and got "married" again! They have been married for 42 years!
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Just to add that they have always been enthusiastic about life. Dad was the oldest of 7, mom one of 4 living. Our maternal grandmother loved each and every grandchild, and my mother is the same. She prays for us and our families daily, but also is physically present to aid us when we have our babies, both before and after. We are really truly blessed.
__________________
Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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JodieLyn
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Nina wrote:
1) Are your mothers Catholic (and raised in a practicing Catholic family)?
2) Were they open to life and a large family themselves?
3) Were they divorced? Remarried?
I am very interested in this topic. For me, no on 1a. and 1b., no on 2., yes on 3a and 3b. |
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Me too
But the reason I'm answering, is that it is my mother who is more supportive than my MIL and for my MIL it's
1a & 1b yes
2 no
3 no
She's too polite to be obvious about it.. but she's very down on large families generally.. and I've gotten nasty glares when she has said something to dh in front of the kids  and I switched it to teasing (like telling dh that he'd have to get a second job, and me saying the kids could get jobs instead and grinning at the kids)
But she loves all the kids anyway
__________________
Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Nina Murphy
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Ditto for you, Maryan and Jennifer. Praise be to God.
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God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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Nina Murphy
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| Posted: March 20 2007 at 4:26pm | IP Logged
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Philothea wrote:
| My mom is not Catholic, was never Catholic, hates the Catholic church, and is beyond horrified that I'm now Catholic. |
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I'm sorry, this is not good, but:
Wow---I am so sorry.
Kind of the same for me....! Mine is not horrified that I am Catholic, but that I *practice*. To her religion is more like a family or cultural identity, and not to be allowed to rule your life---like how most French are "Catholic".
I always ask her to pray anyway, and she always responds with: "I will keep you in my thoughts" which I guess is her way of saying she doesn't think prayer does anything?
__________________
God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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Nina Murphy
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Fuzzy ( ), Joann, and Jenn---you must be so grateful to your parents for staying married and persevering, and for viewing marriage as a life-long commitment. That must come from a fear of the Lord.
Thank you so much for sharing your comments---
-------------------------------------
Joann, you must really be a great witness: I would hate to be told monthly that I better not be pregnant. Everyone is thinking it, though. They just fear it so much, they won't give voice to their fears, afraid it will make them a reality. They'd rather be in the dark and not face it!
__________________
God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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Nina Murphy
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Oh no, Jodie, not the mother-in-law stuff. You sound very valiant and respectful in spite of it. Thank you for sharing!! The fact that your mom stayed married is interesting (and that she was raised Catholic), but wasn't open to a large family.
This is REALLY interesting me how many have stayed faithful to God's design for marriage but divorced from his plan for life and families....
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God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Based on Ruth's thread---mother reactions
