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Erin
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I'm not pregnant but I'm thinking babies, specifically I'm thinking about the fact that if we conceived now, in our 40s which seems young to me  that this translates in reality to being in our 60s when said child is 18.
I'd love to hear from anyone who this is a reality for. How did you cope with these thoughts, feelings, the reality, how did you dh.
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Erin
Faith Filled Days
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JodieLyn
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I haven't really worried about it much. Just as I figure I can handle 40 with a baby.. I figure I'll handle 60 (well 58) with a teen.
Plus I also figure I have all the older siblings who could be around and want to be involved in family life to add extra younger and more energetic people to do stuff with. Not to mention I'm counting on them for my little ones to be around littler ones later on 
Besides.. there's so many older people out there being very active, it's not really much of a specter.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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pmeilaen
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My parents had my little sister when they were that old and handled her teenage years without a problem. They were just wiser because she was their last.
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Eva
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ElizLeone
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I just love your response, Jodie! Although I gave birth to our last(?) bio child at 39, we adopted a newborn when I was 42 and another newborn when I was 44. (My husband was 44 and 46, respectively.) So, we'll be parenting teens well into our 60's. And I'm not worried about it yet! I know God has a plan, and we'll just have to see how it all unfolds. It does make me conscientious though about staying active, eating well, etc., so that I am hopefully here for our little ones for the long haul.
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Elizabeth in Wisconsin
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stefoodie
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Had our 4-year-old when I was 41  I figured if he's too much to handle when he's 15 the older kids will keep him in line 
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stef
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Erin
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In your experience have you found men struggle with this concept more?
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Erin
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pmeilaen
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No, not my dad, only my grand-parents !
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Eva
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JodieLyn
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Erin, in my experience, it's more the idea of *needing* to work to support a family at that time when many of us were still growing up with the idea that 60 or even mid-50s was retirement age. I know my dh gets the "you're never going to be able to retire" line. The worst offender figured out quick that it wasn't in her interest to announce such things (like it's a horrible thing) in front of a large group including me and my children. I twisted it and made it a joke so that the whole room laughed. (don't mess with this mama bear )
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
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stellamaris
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I'm close to the reality of parenting teens in my 60's here. I'm almost 56 with my youngest son just 10 and two 11 yr-olds. So, I'm facing this in just a very few years.
I will say that sometimes it frightens me and then I have to really trust in Jesus and just remember that God has a plan...and this is it! My dh is actually a lot more chill about it all . I don't have the energy I had when I was younger, but I'm a lot calmer and steadier so I think overall the children have benefited from that.
One effect of this late-age parenting on me is that I realize that I have to make a bigger effort to get more active and stay that way. If I'm going to have reasonable health and energy, I really have to pay more attention to my own well-being, which has not been a priority for me in the past. Also, I've pretty much stopped thinking, "When the kids grow up, I'll...." I have accepted that this is my life now and there won't be a lot of years to do other things after my children leave home (hope that doesn't sound too morbid!) But what is more important than raising children? So, I figure it's a good use of my time .
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Caroline
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SuzanneG
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Erin wrote:
| In your experience have you found men struggle with this concept more? |
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yes. Maybe not in the secular world....but amongst our Catholic hs families....I def. see the dads struggling more with it than the moms. Normal though....the financial aspect of it, prolonged job-work, etc.
My husband was 48 when our last was born a couple years ago, and I'm "only 42" now...so it's a possibility he could be 51+ with a baby.
I don't worry about "in 10-20 years"....I worry and am scared more about the pregnancy/newborn. Once they're out, I'm good!
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Suzanne in ID
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Erin
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stellamaris wrote:
| I don't have the energy I had when I was younger, but I'm a lot calmer and steadier so I think overall the children have benefited from that. |
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How much of a factor is lack of energy? Have you found a noticeable lack for yourself or your husband?
I acknowledge noticing a big difference about myself regards being calmer, I'm a far more calmer and confident parent in my 40s compared to when I was younger 
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Erin
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Bridget
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We were 44 and 45 when Lydia (#8) was born. We do think we are calmer, wiser and work smarter than we did when we were parents in our 20's and 30's.
Our energy level IS lower. But there are plenty of big brothers and sisters to play with my 40's babies. In fact I haven't had to chase a toddler in many years, I have some very fast runners who do that now. Although, I am grateful that God gave me my most peaceful, compliant child last.
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Bridget
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stellamaris wrote:
Also, I've pretty much stopped thinking, "When the kids grow up, I'll...." I have accepted that this is my life now and there won't be a lot of years to do other things after my children leave home (hope that doesn't sound too morbid!) But what is more important than raising children? So, I figure it's a good use of my time . |
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Yes, this! I also hope to devote myself to helping my grown children in their households, whether it's laundry or homeschooling. I plan to keep doing what I am doing till I drop!
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Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
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monica4patience
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We adopted our first child at 35 & 38, and our third at 45 & 48. It's only recently at 58 & 61 that we get asked about retiring. My husband just laughs and says it'll be awhile. I just remind people that his father didn't retire until well into his 80's--he just loved what he was doing & loved being busy.
So many people we know who do retire in their 60's are now working at low-paying, odd hour jobs. Why give up a good-paying career that you enjoy to do menial work?
Me....I can't retire until I get this 13 year old through homeschool! But then, does a SAHM ever get to retire?
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StephanieA
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I'll be 64 and my husband will be 69 when Therese turns 18. We know he will be working past "retirement".
My concern is that dh works long hours, and it wears him out. So we are looking for a less pay/less hours job.
That said, I love having little ones around. They brighten the college kid's faces when they say something "funny" or just act like themselves. It is refreshing Everyday is new to them. I wish I could bottle that attitude and keep it around forever. I will miss this stage quite a bit. It is so uplifting just to hold them and let their unconditional love envelope you on "those" days.
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Stephanie
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Erin
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Well after asking this question I am enjoying my first pregnancy in my 40s And I'm breezing through, not any tireder just cause I'm 41, in fact this is one of my easiest pregnancies.
And God is gracious I'm not at all worried about being 60 when the baby is 18
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Erin
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Erica Sanchez
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Congratulations, Erin!!!
I had Peter at 42, two quick miscarriages after that, and then Rose when I was 45. The whole part about someday being done raising the kids is now mute as Rose will be with us forever. I used to think of the days when Cash and I would experience that bit of freedom of not having children in the house, but now it is different and we just enjoy the snippets of time we do get to ourselves. I do worry in a prideful way that we'll be the grandparent-looking ones in the stands at the younger kids' games and events, but there is just not much to do about that now. :) We try to stay healthy and fit, which does get harder to do, and be young at heart which might be more important.
Monica, agreeing with you about retirement age. I remember reading something about retiring early, dying earlier. Something about keeping your mind and body active and such. I guess you could do that in different ways, but it seems that as we live longer we would work longer.
Erin, I find my energy level is so much tied to sleep, good nutrition and exercise. I am looking forward to getting back on track with these things now that our life is somewhat returning to normal. Congratulations, again!! So exciting!
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Erica in San Diego
(dh)Cash, Emily, Grace, Nicholas, Isabella, Annie, Luke, Max, Peter, 2 little souls ++, and sweet Rose who is legally ours!
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Marcia
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Thanks for all these great responses. It's such an issue to take to prayer, isn't it?
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Marcia
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JodieLyn
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Something else that occured to me is that the youngest isn't necessarily alone.. I mean.. when he's 13 he'll have a 14 yr old brother and a 16 yr old brother and a 17.5 yr old sister at least still at home. I guess that seems like a lot of commotion.. but that's 2 teens old enough to be able to drive.. and no little ones tagging along..
I mean after these years of toddlers to teens.. having just a few teens at home sounds positively easy
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Jodie, wife to Dave
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All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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krygerzoo
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I'm 44 and gave birth to our 7th two months ago. I'm so grateful we won't be empty nesters for a veeeeeery long time
Sure, our energy level has decreased. I know it bothers my sweet hubby that he doesn't have the same stamina/energy wrestling around with the boys  . I'm still impressed with his playful nature and true dedication to the kids after such a long day at work.
I admit, I used to think about having kids at this age and kind of worry how I'd be able to do it. God is always so faithful at pouring out graces and I know I'mnot alone!
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4Real Forums : St. Anne's Tearoom: Growing in Wisdom over 40
Topic: Babies in 40s, Teens in 60s
