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StephanieA
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| Posted: Jan 04 2011 at 3:55pm | IP Logged
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I am posting this here because I am going to assume if you have been homeschooling for over 15+ years, you are most likely over 40 
This has been really bothering me for over a year now.
I started homeschooling when my 23 year old son was in kindergarten. I loved it and still enjoy the learning along side my kids. Sure we had our months or a year of tough-going, but lately I am feeling a bit different about all this. I have 9 kids, the littlest one is 10 months old. So, I am about 1/2 done with homeschooling.
However, I don't feel burnt as much as multi-tasked out. I am mean I seriously can't do this "right" any more.I have tried enrolling in programs, but this does not work for our family. And seriously, that means more multi-tasking.
Plus, the support is not there much anymore. Does anyone else see this? My sisters all have stopped homeschooling. My local friends stopped long ago.
I didn't do this because it was "popular", but does anyone else see homeschooling seriously waning?
I don't even see the Catholic homeschooling conferences as big events anymore. In fact, the last one I attended 2 year ago was so poorly attended that I don't know how they even paid the bills to host it.
Does anyone else feel this way? It is WAY too soon to throw in the towel. I am still as strongly committed to the homeschooling vision. But in reality, my zip is nearly zapped. Is this to be expected as I near the OLD 50 mark? Ummmm......
BLessings,
Stephanie
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MaryM
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| Posted: Jan 04 2011 at 4:08pm | IP Logged
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 Stephanie, I'm not in the same situation as I have far fewer years left to go and haven't been experiencing the exact feelings you share (though I do think in some ways I did this "better" years ago).
But I did want to address my general perseptions of Catholic homeschool growth. I have been homeschooling for 14 years and have indeed seen many of the large families who were originally doing it stop - some due to graduating all the children, others choosing to send younger ones to school. But in our community we have seen far more families join the ranks of Catholic home educators than leave. Our net growth in this area is huge. Our confernece last year had a very high attendance - I think our highest yet. So I really do think that Catholic homeschooling in egneral is very strong and growing - lots of young families - at least here. Our growth in membership here on this board is consistent as well- even if we don't hear from newbies, they are joining. Probably more starting out young than in the past. But that doesn't mean that there isn't attrition and for many it is hard to continue for so many years. It is truly a huge commitment of time when you consider a large family and the 18 years for each child.
No answers but I don't think you are alone...
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Mary M. in Denver
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stellamaris
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| Posted: Jan 04 2011 at 4:20pm | IP Logged
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Who knew estrogen was the multitasking hormone??? 
Seriously, my own ability to multi-task has considerably lessened in the last few years. So, I think that's a time-of-life kind of problem. However, just because we are schooling our younger children differently, doesn't mean it is wrong. I don't think you can re-create the conditions that were in place when you were schooling your now-grown children. It's OK to do something different. I like to think that I have more experience, more patience, and more graciousness with my younger ones than I did with my older children. I have something different to offer them; I try to remember that God knew I was 45 when the last one was born, and it was part of His plan. I haven't got the energy and zeal I once had, but I have lots more knowledge.
I don't think homeschooling is waning. Many more families are homeschooling than when I first began nearly 25 years ago. However, I do think the type of families homeschooling has changed. I think fewer of them homeschool for strictly religious reasons; younger parents also seem to be wanting to find their own "new" path. Maybe this is what you are seeing?
I find it hard sometimes, too. Most of my homeschooling friends have moved on to post-children lives while I am still in the middle of little ones. I have some friends who are younger moms, but I have to be careful not to become "the voice of experience"...that doesn't make for much of a friendship! I try to remain open to learning new things and discovering new resources. Also, I find their perspectives on certain things are not quite the same as mine, so I am challenged to re-assess my ideas, and either changed them or hold on to them more intelligently, which is not all bad. I think it is wonderful to see young parents take on the responsibility of educating their children in the Faith, but, because of my age, I can feel pretty isolated now, not so much in the middle of a group as sort of on the fringes.
This is the path God has ordained for me, so I continue to follow it, even if it's more rocky now than ever before. At the end, I hope to see my Savior and hear Him say, "Well done, good and faithful servant! Enter into the joy of your Master."
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In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to  dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Jan 04 2011 at 4:31pm | IP Logged
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There are times I place this Bible verse where I can see it often..
Quote:
| Matthew 6:34. Be not therefore solicitous for to morrow; for the morrow will be solicitous for itself. Sufficient for the day is the evil thereof. |
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It really helps remind me that I am not thinking ahead but "worrying ahead". So much can happen that if you start "worrying ahead" you will often be wasting all the time and energy for things that don't actually happen.
You might be having grand children being homeschooled before you're done (home grown support system).. you might have a new family move into the area.. the economy could improve..
hard to spend money on homeschooling when things are tight and you know you can get public school for free.. or maybe private school if mom went back to work.. that can also impact things like conferences..
But also, those who've been running things for a while get burnt out. I know here in our small town.. it's the same group of people who put forth effort into making things work.. and it get real tiring when you always have to do the work to get things to happen and others just "come along for the ride" but never help out. Maybe some of your local support is still there just burnt out and withdrawing from things.
Also I've noticed that a lot of people put their children into public school when they get into high school age.. you might look around at the people you know.. if they're the ones you've been with since your oldest was little.. you might need to look for some younger women, younger families that are still in the homeschool mode.. it might also give you some more pep to be around those who find homeschooling fresh and exciting because they're just starting.
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Donna Marie
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| Posted: Jan 04 2011 at 5:41pm | IP Logged
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Stephanie, I will be homeschooling with you for the next 18 years+! Granted I am a few years short of 15+ but I have been teaching them since birth..so...maybe?
Sometimes I feel as you do. I haven't graduated anyone YET...but my twins are 17 and their brother is on their heels and they really burned me out, but I am bouncing back.
I keep finding new ways of doing things, interesting ways of tackling life and subjects and such. I really think I will miss all of this when it is all over. but! I can't help but think that maybe someday I might be homeschooling with my dds and their kids...oh, I hope! And at the same time I hope that I am not messing things up...consistently I find out that they did learn even when we were at low tide moments. Whowuddathunk...
The support I find now is here on line like it was in the beginning. I am busy at home with a more limited income. We just cannot afford the higher priced distractions some of our peers have. I am much better at praying and reading for myself and finding those things that are nurturing to me and time here and there to recharge my batteries.
I often feel overwhelmed in direct proportion to the wild fluxations of my hormones. I really just put my fingers in my ears and hum real loud when I get really out of sorts knowing that I will feel better as soon as I look a bit closely at the one that is making a lot of noise in front of me (a ds or dd) and try and see the love the Father has for him/her and then I get excited, just a little, all over again. I really didn't want to start school this year. I was totaled. I had a new baby and very badly behaving hormones, a smaller home or just more people here and less elbow room.
One thing that helped me was the Simply Charlotte Mason DVDs. They helped me think MY VERY OWN thoughts about what I wanted to do this year and made me feel more competent about starting out again. I really did think "how can I keep doing this for the next xx years??!!! Lord have mercy!! and well...He did have mercy on me and my heart came around a bit. I found out, just recently that I have to face not doing it to realize the gift it is to do it even when I don't feel like I can keep doing it.
I found I had the same relationship with homeschooling that I did with the dishes. It all got better when I saw it as an action of love. Love's feelings are so inconstant but the actions of it are truly transforming and so worthwhile.
Love ya lots, my friend! I HTH somewhat! Sent with a prayer!! and of course, some cyber chocolate... 
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God love you!
Donna Marie from NJ
hs momma to 9dc!!
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Jan 04 2011 at 9:53pm | IP Logged
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I have seen some of my dd's friends drop out of co-op and other activities, due to the increased commitments that pop up as children turn into teens...but homeschooling in my area is on the rise, not the opposite. Most of our co-op families are younger. I sometimes feel like I'm trapped in middle school myself, as we watch some homeschoolers return to traditional high school and others go off on tangents we can't follow.
It's okay, though - my dd is maturing, too, and her interests are changing. I think she'll always love dance, but she's not one to move in lockstep with her peers, so she'll be pursuing some new interests on her own.
I do think that we all have to be open to a "changing of the guard" in any organization to which we belong, homeschooling or otherwise. It's a chance to meet new people as well as broaden horizons. Change isn't always easy (okay, it never is!), but it can be good.
I've moved away from conferences and tried to focus more on what my children want/need from educational processes. Conferences are great for recharging, but I have to balance time and resources against that recharge moment. I'm much more selective now than I was 9 years ago.
You're not alone! We're all on this path, just at different stages. I do think that if you look closely, you'll find homeschoolers out there...you might just need to look in one or two new places.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Bridget
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| Posted: Jan 05 2011 at 6:43am | IP Logged
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I think part of the drop in conference attendance is due to the poor economy, especially here in MI.
I am seeing the grown children of my friends begin schooling their children which I think is encouraging.
As for multi-tasking, I agree it is harder and less fruitful as we get older.
Don't lose the big picture. Why do you want to hs the younger children? What is best for them, what is the vision? I want to encourage you to keep going, rest a little then keep moving forward. Homeschooling is such a blessing to a family and the hs graduates are a beautiful testimony to the value of homeschooling.
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Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
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StephanieA
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| Posted: Jan 05 2011 at 8:12am | IP Logged
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I am SO glad that many of you are seeing growth in the Catholic homeschooling movement. So in my case it must be more of a regional situation. We haven't had any new Catholic families homeschooling here (at least not in the last 3-4 years). And only 3 of the 15-20 Catholic families are continuing to homeschool.
So that in itself was a bit discouraging for me, but also for my kids as they see their numbers diminish considerably.
I am always up to trying new things, changing gears, etc. But as some of you admitted, multi-tasking isn't as effective for us as it was 20 years ago. OK. I am not alone in this. I do have more knowledge and I am thankful for that.
Caroline, I love your last quote...finishing the race. That is exactly how I feel. My older children were given a solid, Catholic education. I NEED and want this for the younger ones. The schools available to us are no better now than 20 years ago and passing on my Faith is everything to me. This needs to be main goal as it was years ago.
Getting balance between real needs gets tricky when time to take care of yourself is minimal and when one doesn't bounce back quite as fast as you did 20 years ago when you decide to push it occasionally. I see this in my mother who is 20 years my senior. She gets a few things done a week and is satisfied. But those exact same things need to be done daily here (like 3 meals for 9-11 people, laundry, grading, papers....well, you get where I am going).
Thank you for all your thoughts!
Blessings,
Stephanie
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hylabrook1
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My experience is the same as many have mentioned: losing the ability to multi-task; having friends/support from early days finish hs-ing their children, either because of sending them to school or emptying the nest. But there are lots of newer, younger families that keep up the energy of the hs-ing culture in my area, and there are even people who begin to hs middle- or high-school kids. Also, as more people have been hs-ing, there are now both elementary aged and teen aged hs kids, so more things are getting planned for the olders as well. I am constantly amazed at the greater number of opportunities available for all ages as more people hs. The *demand* for activities and the wider interests of the growing number of people fuels new ideas and opportunities (high school classes; social dance classes; drama troupe; 4-H clubs). Also, there are now many more schooling materials available that address a wider range of interests and different learning styles. I often day-dream how nice it would be to hs my *olders* now - a very different panorama than when they were younger.
I am, of course, getting older and probably less energetic than when we started (as much as I hate to admit it).
This is our 19th year hs-ing, and I think we have only 4 years until the youngest graduates, so I'm not looking at the level of commitment you see in front of you. So many times we advise new homeschoolers to decide about just one year at a time. Don't borrow trouble! God will let us know, one year at a time, what we need to do. I know I need to put the brakes on my imagination before it leads me into anxiety about the unknown and unknowable. So, take a deep breath....
Peace,
Nancy
ETA: I was typing while you were posting, Stephanie. Sorry if I said things you already know. 
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Pilgrim
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Servant, posting from Pilgrim's computer:
The best advice we received, when we began homeschooling 20+ years ago, was to take things one year at a time...I've since modified that to one day at a time, or even one hour at a time!
On a practical level, it has helped immensely to train dc to take over certain household tasks...laundry, some meal preparation, dishwashing, household cleaning, etc. We're easing into grocery shopping and I hope to have the oldest one at home take over bill paying so he can gain experience in that realm before leaving home. Dh has taken over working with dc on certain subjects one day a week and does all grading & recording (which we started since our auto insurance gives a discount for good grades).
I've noticed myself experiencing a huge sense of relief the more dh and dc have taken over so many of the tasks I used to juggle myself. There is also an added benefit...they are becoming more proficient & capable in handling many life-tasks on their own. I feel like the past year or so has been one tremendous year of recovery, after many years of stress and over-doing. May 2011 be a year filled with abundant grace, true peace and profound hope for all homeschooling moms who feel overwhelmed.
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Angie Mc
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switchtasking and single-tsking...putting it here now before I forget! Look forward to reading more at this topic later.
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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SaraP
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| Posted: Jan 19 2011 at 1:31pm | IP Logged
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StephanieA wrote:
| I didn't do this because it was "popular", but does anyone else see homeschooling seriously waning? |
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I had an interesting discussion about this with two other moms in our HS co-op not too long ago. One woman made a similar comment to yours, Stephanie, and the other woman and I (who were both homeschooled ourselves) wondered aloud whether HSing itself is really waning or whether it is the need/desire for support that is decreasing as it becomes more common and more of the families who are just starting out are 'second generation' HSers.
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glinNC
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You're not alone Stephanie ... I still have 10 years to go ... been home schooling 16 years. I have recently noticed how "different" home schooling is for me now. *Life* is different now than it was when I started home schooling. More children ... children in college --- who still need us just as they did when they were in high school. It IS hard, and I'm just as committed to it, but I am finding it harder to get done in the way I'd like. Too many other things pulling at me. I'm handling the multi-task life, too, but I also like to "give my all" to everything I do ... and it is tiring. 
I don't know what I can change ... all I can do is pray for the grace to continue what God sets before me with my children as I, too, approach 50! Praying for all of you, too!
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4Real Forums : St. Anne's Tearoom: Growing in Wisdom over 40
Topic: HS another 18 years !?!
