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SallyT
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| Posted: May 14 2008 at 10:56pm | IP Logged
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Have any of you found that you needed to do something different with your hair -- I don't mean coloring, but cut/style -- in your 40s? That your old hairstyle suddenly seemed too young, or immature, or something?
I have been pondering this lately. I have long hair by default -- I've been cutting it myself for several years, and all I can do is trim ends -- and I like it because I can pull it back and get it out of my way, but lately I've been feeling that it just doesn't suit me any more. It's very thick and wavy, and I'm not remotely interested in styling it on a daily basis, but I haven't seen any styles that really seem to go with this kind of hair, or with me. Of course, all the hairstyle pictures feature anorexic 19-year-olds, and that would not be me, either.
I try not to obsess over my "image," and basically I am kind of granola-ish, anyway. But sometimes I think about the incongruity of my college-student hair with my rather more mature face, and I wonder whether a new haircut would help me look more gracefully my age.
Does anyone else think about these things, or have words of hair wisdom?
Sally
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: May 14 2008 at 11:14pm | IP Logged
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Have you tried pulling your hair back? twisted up or just a low pony or braid? woman have worn their long hair up for venturies and it might give you a more put together look for those times you wish.
I have found that a simple twist that's held with a hair stick (think shorter chop stick) is not only practical but super easy.. takes me less than a minute to put up.. a braid takes way longer (my hair is straight and hip length.. and I can't see me ever wanting to color or style it.. because.. well because I don't WANNA  )
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SallyT
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| Posted: May 15 2008 at 7:03am | IP Logged
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I wear it up a lot, but it's quite heavy, coarse, and "stiff," and tends to fall out of a lot of updos, of its own weight. I do braid it and pin it up with a barrette, which stays, but then I feel like a camp counselor. I mostly wear it either in a ponytail -- easy, but I get bored with it -- or with the front pulled back in a barrette and the ends loose, which style I do really like. Again, though, sometimes all these styles, which I've worn for years, somehow feel as though they don't fit my face any more . . .
I solved my problem a little bit last night, actually, by cutting some bangs -- I have a high forehead and a long face, and a little softness around the top helps. I didn't cut much, and they're longish (but curly this morning, with all the TN humidity!), so I can push them out of the way, but I do feel instantly . . . fresher, somehow.
I am with you on coloring -- I don't wanna, either! I do like my little bit of gray.
Sally
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Loren
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I have long, thick hair, too. What I found that actually keeps my hair up is an African butterfly clip. I never could figure out how to make a hair stick actually hold my hair and even pony-tails tend to drag.
Also, the last time I got my hair cut, I did a search for free virtual makeovers. The sites give an option of picking a model with your face shape, changing the color of hair, even wearing glasses. I played around with several styles before settling on this one.
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SusanJ
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Okay, I'm way too young for this forum but I've actually thought about this a lot. I'm blessed with a young-looking face (except when my first was born and they wanted to send me the teen-mother's counselor). My grandmother, whom I closely resemble, wore her hair long and with the same style from age twenty until about sixty. She's chosen a lovely, mature style now that she's almost seventy but I always promised myself not to hang on to such a youthful look for so long. Not that I'm following through on that. My long hair is in a ponytail right now and I know most people in my neighborhood think I'm the nanny when I'm out with the kids. But it's mostly laziness and lack of funds that keeps me from getting my hair cut.
Sally, you might try just a pretty short, slightly layered look. That can work well with longish bangs, too. My mil has awesome gray hair that I'm so glad she's never colored (I'm not gray but I can't imagine coloring my hair, either). Her hair is just like my husbands--thick, wavy and coarse. I think she just blowdries it and uses very minimal spray or something (she is very minimalist so I know she doesn't use much of anything) and it looks great. Heavy, wavy hair can often style itself if you aren't too fussy.
Okay, enough from me . . .
Susan
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lapazfarm
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NO advice, but I am in the same boat. I am sick and tired of my hair. It has been long and wavy since high school and I need a change, desperately. Mine is thick (tons of it)but very fine, doesn't stay up well at all, tangles easily.
I just recently lopped off a huge chunk of it in hopes it would help, but now it is just a shorter version of the same old thing. Ugh!
Problem is I don't want to spend time on my hair, so it has to be simple.
I wish I had a beautician I trusted, but I have not been to one since high school. I also can't really afford it.
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JennGM
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I've been trying to stay away from the long hair. I won't let it grow over shoulder length. Since the baby was born I have more waves and curls, so I've got it shorter and layered (not boy short, thought). Most days I just wash, put a little gel, scrunch and go. I have thick hair, with lots of mind of its own, but it seems happy right now.
Since I turned gray at 24, I've been coloring. I'll stop when dh wants me to, but right now he doesn't. But I have WAY more than a "bit of gray". I share the same beautician as my mother, who doesn't color. And she admits I've grayer than my mother.
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JodieLyn
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Let me see if I can explain how I put up my hair with the hair stick.. it's not exactly conventional. But it actually holds my fine, thick, "everything slides out of it and it out of everything" hair better than anything else.
I pull my hair back like I'm holding it in a low pony.. then slide my hand down the length twisting as I go.. to about midway.. at this point I have a loose twist with a loop of hair on my hand and the ends up next to my head. I gently twist it tighter (being careful how it slides on my hand with the loop so that I don't get some strands tightening down rather than sliding)
Then I wrap it upwards into a bun sorta shape.. keeping the ends tucked under..
with the hair stick I slip a bit of hair against my scalp onto the stick and then go through the outside/top of the loop of hair.. through the bulk of the hair and back out the other side of the bun.. then slip the stick through a bit of scalp hair once again.
The trick for me is those bits of hair at the start and end.. they seem to lock everything in place.
When I wrap it fairly tightly, this will actually hold my hair on a very windy day better than anything else I've ever tried.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
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Angie Mc
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Oooo, I like the butterfly clips! Thanks for sharing, Loren.
I've thought about this hair thing too. My hair is shoulder length and I mostly pull it up. I don't color and I'm graying gradually. I'm OK with my options for how but this is why I think about this topic for my future...
During the winter, many retirees come to my town. They fill up my church to the point that at some masses, you can't see any people other than retirees. So...I'm literally looking at a see of gray and bald heads  . When I look at the ladies, 99.9999% wear their hair very short, most are permed, and half are colored. To be honest, at least with this group, the women's hair looks very unfeminine to me (sorry!). I think it is in part the many razored necks. So I think to myself...what did older women do with their hair before perms and coloring and beauty shops and razors became the norm?
I know, I know...this isn't the over 60 forum (yet  ) but...what about pulling it up?...scarves?...
I sure hope I'm not misunderstood here. I wore my hair very short for many years and my mom has gorgeous short gray hair. My maternal grandmother did the whole perm/ beauty parlor thing. I just see that for some women who wore their hair long, they cut it, then they kept cutting it shorter, then the razor enters the scene!
Some of the unfeminine look also has to do with the clothes. The vast majority of these ladies where slacks and, well, vacation clothes to church. It really is a strange thing to look at the back of a couple and not see a clear distinction between the man and the woman, other than height.
I'm rambling and no time to edit...It's just that I think I look feminine (not necessarily younger  ) in large part because of my long hair and skirts that I wear most of the time...and my earrings. I don't do make up (yet) or other jewelry (yet) so maybe my question is, if I do need to evetually cut my hair, how can I still look feminine.
Oh...and some of these perms and colorings are just plain poorly done. So are we talking about quality too?
Well...I feel better getting THAT off my chest .
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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Red Cardigan
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Okay, I'm too "young" to post here too, officially--but not WAY too young like Susan! I get to join this group in December, and I can't wait!!
But I'm one of those people who can never leave her hair alone for long. In the past five or six years I've had boy-short, middle of the back long, and everything in between. I've had light layers, wild country-music layers, and all one length (which it is right now, chin-length page boy style 'cause I got tired of the layers). I usually go to a Great Clips shop or someplace like that where they only charge $15 or so; while I've had mostly good experiences I can't say they were all terrific, but on one occasion I went to them to have them fix the *worst* haircut I'd gotten in years from a pricey stylist! So you never know.
Some general advice: first, make sure you know what shape your face is. There are websites that will help. Some styles that look adorable on an oval face will make a rounder face look heavy or a square face look too masculine. Next, determine your hair type and thickness; mine's straight but not stick-straight (light wave) and of a medium thickness, which means that some of the more heavily layered styles or the ones suited for curly hair are a bad idea for me--but would be great on thick and wavy hair!
Once you know those two things, you can look around. In addition to the hairstyle magazines (which aren't that great) try catalogs or "real" magazines; there are lots of pics on the Internet, too. Pick several styles you like, b/c some of them may not work.
Then try to stop in when the salon isn't busy; you can make your appointment then, but you can also ask questions about the pics. I've found that asking for specifics and telling them about your life really helps, such as, "I'm a busy mom and I need a style that will not require more than five minutes with a blow dryer; I prefer an air-dryed look; I need there to be the option to style it for special occasions but don't want to have to work with it every day," etc. Tell them if you like some hair around your face or if you prefer a brushed-back look. They can help you decide if any of the pictures you have will be right.
And if you feel like they're not listening or are dismissive--find another shop!
One final bit of advice: it can be scary to change a look when you've had it for a while, but when one of my dd's decided to go from ultra-long to shorter and layered, I convinced her to go shoulder length instead of really short to start with. Too sudden a change can be disconcerting. She loves her new look, and even if she wants to go shorter later on, she didn't have to adjust to a huge difference. So starting with something no shorter than an inch or two below the chin may be a good place to start.
Hope this helps! 
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JennGM
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Red, you sound like me. I'm always fiddling with the hairdo. I can never leave well-enough alone. And when I do make a change and expect dh to be shocked, he'll say I already had a similiar hairdo some time before.
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Lauri B
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I think you should wear your hair in a way that makes YOU feel prettiest. Feeling pretty (or cute, perky, lovely, insert whatever adjective you prefer) does wonders for your self-esteem. I do make an effort not to ever look frumpy, although I'm never going to be "stylish" - LOL!
When *I* feel pretty, people (DH) think I'm pretty. I find it really does start with feeling lovely, myself. It's worth a few extra pennies on those little things that make me feel pretty, because a mommy with low self esteem makes EVERYONE unhappy. :(
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LisaR
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oh I'm a bit too young to be here (1971) but I never pay more than 10-15 for a hair cut. I do the great clips thing or wherever I fnd a coupon for to make it even a better deal!! I've been longish and shortish bob (always with bangs) and now
I'm "wild country music layers" LOVE THAT!! for the past few years. it is fun, because it really looks a bit different each day depending on the humidity, my hair is normally straight to tiny bit wavy, fine, but pretty thick.
I started splurging on shampoo/conditioner (Pantene Ice Shine, or the garnier green bottle "shine" something) and I actually get compliments now. I never ever blow dry, so for me brushing more often when wet to dry will be more of a straight style, and just towel pat dry and a scrunch or two air dry and it is shiny wavy.
I also will use the suave "shine spray" it is not a hair spray hold product but more of a silicone spray?? cheap!
my bangs part to the side.
I am getting some coarse gray hair  but this shine shampoo seems to calm them right down!
oh, and I am a ponytail or half back in clip type, and this style looks great messy, neat, whatever!!
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
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Dominic 8
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Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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SallyT
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Oh, Lisa, I like the sound of that haircut. But I'm a little clueless as to what "wild country music layers" actually means (I don't get out much). Do you have a photo you can link to?
I've been through enough hair permutations to know what does and doesn't work for me. No very short hair -- done that, and my face is too long and thin and not-gamine. Very long hair just looks messy -- there's so much of it, and I'm short and not willowy, and it clogs up the bathroom drain.
I like some layers, because they lighten the load of my hair and give it freedom to curl. But I like being able to put it up, too, at least in a ponytail or pulled back at the front. Best length is just-above to just-below shoulder (as it is right now). I don't like too much hair right in my face -- I usually end up tucking it behind my ears to get it out of the way. AND I wear glasses (and my features are relatively small), so I don't want too much stuff crowding my already crowded face.
I don't care about looking trendy, and/but I do want to look feminine, but not poofy. I'm an outdoorsy girl, not a girly-girl. No-care is my preferred styling approach.
Oh, and I love Garnier products. My daughter and I go in together every couple of months to buy a bottle of that Fructis Sleek-n-Shine Leave-In Conditioner. It actually makes our hair more curly, and we like that. My daughter has perfect pre-Raphaelite red hair -- masses and masses, all curly and wavy. It is to die for. Mine is not so gorgeous, but I like the conditioner anyway.
Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one thinking about this kind of thing. I hate it that my hair takes up so much mental room sometimes, but I think it is that I want to feel pretty, not as though I've "let myself go," as they say.
Sally
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LisaR
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| Posted: May 16 2008 at 10:42am | IP Logged
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I wanted to add that my hair just goes to where my armpit starts and when it gets longer than that, I know it is time for a cut. I cut my hair 3-4 times a year.
I have read repeatedly that bangs are a must for women as they get older, but I have always been a bangs gal so no change there.
I ask for my hair blunt-cut on the bottom, and then long layers and face framing layers. I ask for angled long bangs, because I part on the side, as opposed to blunt straight across bangs, kwim??
I've always had enough to pull back in ponytail/loose bun.
I spend about 2 minutes on my hair, so I know this is the style that works for me! I realized though that at my ripe old age my coarse grays/wirey weird hairs were getting more of a distraction. so for me, I'm fine with the cheapo haircuts, but splurge (for me anyway, I used to be the on sale 1.00 bottle of shampoo gal) on the brand of shampoo/conditioner. it is an amazing difference!
happy hair!!
PS if you have a long/thin face I think that you do need something a bit face framing (layers) I have read that all one length can just elongate more? but I hear you about a tuck behind the ears thing. I do that alot too! sometimes just a little squirt of something sticky (or even hand lotion if you're in a pinch) can smooth out a bit and keep a layer tucked behind an ear!
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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JodieLyn
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One more thing I thought of.. sometimes I just have to hmmm "ignore" my perception of what I see in the mirror. I know my hair looks good the way I have it.. but sometimes you just look at it and want a change or are frustrated with it or something.
And I've found the easiest cheapest, most satisfying in the long run solution.. is to just *walk away from the mirror*.. in a few days or weeks I'll happen to really look at the mirror again and be pleased with how my hair looks.. the exact same thing that made me displeased just that bit of time sooner.
And when I cut it too quickly, then I find myself in the long haul of growing it back because that's what I always do.. it's what I like best.. it works great with my hair etc.
So mostly, I just have had to discipline myself into not thinking about my hair when I'm in one of *those moods*
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: May 16 2008 at 11:48am | IP Logged
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I must know...what are wild-country-music layers????
The evil cousin to Dolly Parton wigs?
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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Angie Mc
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lapazfarm wrote:
I must know...what are wild-country-music layers????
The evil cousin to Dolly Parton wigs? |
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Yes...I need a pic.
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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LisaR
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hmm not much time to search around. how about www.rachaelray.com
in the top left corner?
my bangs are shorter though, but still angled down to the side. and my hair is a bit more wavy some days than hers..
but see how her part is a bit sloppy? that is what I love, if I have the shine stuff in my hair, it does not get frizzy, and I can just mess it up on top and it still looks good...
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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LisaR
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| Posted: May 16 2008 at 12:33pm | IP Logged
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trishayearwood.com
???
I can make my hair almost this wavy,photo to the right, or almost this straight photo to the left. again I have a bit more angled bangs, but note her middle part in the photo to the right, if her hair was more to one side, it would be an angled bang..
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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4Real Forums : St. Anne's Tearoom: Growing in Wisdom over 40
Topic: What to Do With My Hair?
