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Sarah
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Do you ladies clean-up after dinner by yourselves? Or do you have the kids working as a team to do dishes, sweep, and wipe-up? How young do you expect them to be to get involved? I'm trying to formulate a good plan here because everyone disappears after dinner. On the other hand, should kids be kids and go play? What about dad who works all day and is tired-do you ask him, too?
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Six boys ages 16, 14, 11, 7, 5, 2 and one girl age 9
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Mary G
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My older two -- 16 and 14 -- alternate days doing the after dinner cleanup -- load dishes in DW, clean tables and vaccuum/sweep floor in DR and K. You'd think we asked them to peel potatoes with their teeth  . My 5 and 6 yo dc are supposed to help clear and put food away.
We couldn't do it otherwise!
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MaryG
3 boys (22, 12, 8)2 girls (20, 11)
my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
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Leonie
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Everyone available pitches in and helps. Dad , too, if he is home and doesn't have work related stuff to do. Messing about while clearing the table and cleaning the kitchen can be great family time! lol!
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Leonie in Sydney
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alicegunther
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I have my children assigned to help clean up after each meal. My 11 yo is in charge of dinner, my 10 yo lunch, my 8 yo breakfast, and my 5 year old snacks. I always have a helper when cleaning up, and their jobs carry through to preliminary tasks associated with their assigned meal like setting the table or pouring drinks. None of the children mind this, because the clean up is one of the few times I get to do anything one on one with any of them, and some of our best conversations take place to the hum of the dishwasher! It is also a big help to me having able hands to lighten the workload.
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teachingmom
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About a year ago we got serious about enforcing after dinner chores more consistently. In the past we had been very inconsistent with this and had expected much less help from the older girls. It has given me a huge break to have the girls take care of clean up. My 9 and 11 yo dd's alternate doing dishes and sweeping the floor. I believe they have it set up so that the one who sweeps also washes any pots and pans. My 5 and 7 yo dd's alternate clearing the table (including returning salt and pepper shakers, condiments, cartons of milk, leftovers, etc. to their respective places) and wiping the table clean with a wet rag. Every week or two, I still end up doing the after dinner clean up from beginning to end because I have sent them all upstairs after dinner to take showers or finish schoolwork or chores in their rooms. But in general, dh and I can spend a bit of time relaxing after dinner. That part has been great!
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~Irene (Mom to 6 girls, ages 7-19)
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jdostalik
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I have got to start getting the kids to help. My mother lived with us for two years and she and I would tackle the dinner dishes together and chat. It was fun! But, alas, she moved out a few months ago!
Alice and Irene, thanks for sharing your routines. Now to put this into practice. If you hear yells and groans from the general Texas vicinity around 7 pm tomorrow...it'll be my brood!
Sarah, thanks for lighting a fire under me to get the kids to help... 
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Jennifer in TX
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alicegunther
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jdostalik wrote:
| Alice and Irene, thanks for sharing your routines. Now to put this into practice. If you hear yells and groans from the general Texas vicinity around 7 pm tomorrow...it'll be my brood! |
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Bridget
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We have a designated kitchen assistant and a dishwasher person each day. The kitchen assistant helps get dinner on the table and clears and cleans the table after. They also put away leftovers and do the floor. The dishwasher person loads and unlaods as many times during the day as it needs to be done.
When we first started our chore chart a couple of years ago we used m-n-m's and smarties as a reward for each chore done cheerfully. Treats go a long way around here.
The children don't do the jobs perfectly, but they do get better as they practice and get older.
My friend has her next day's dishwasher person check the work of the current day's person. No sloppy or unfinished work there!
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Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
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Bridget
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Mary G. wrote:
| You'd think we asked them to peel potatoes with their teeth . |
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That is so funny! I'll have to remember that line!
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Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
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Elizabeth
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My big boys (whichever ones are home and not at practice) clean up after dinner. I have posted a complete list of what needs to be done. I go off with my elder daughter to get the little ones bathed and into bed to read. After the little ones are asleep, I go back down to check up on the job done in the kitchen. If I skip that step, we're sunk the next morning. I absolutely cannot stand to begin the day in a messy kitchen. 
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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KC in TX
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Elizabeth wrote:
| I absolutely cannot stand to begin the day in a messy kitchen. |
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That's me too!! At what age do the kids get involved? My oldest is 7, but HF autistic so fe's behind developmentally. Usually, I'm bathing the children while dh loads dishwasher. Then I finish up after the kids are in bed.
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KC in TX
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KC in TX wrote:
| At what age do the kids get involved? My oldest is 7, but HF autistic so fe's behind developmentally. |
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Of course I meant "he". That's what I get for typing with one hand while holding the baby.
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KC,
wife to Ben (10/94),
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And, my 2 angels, Rose ('08) and Mark ('09)
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Sarah
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This is great to hear from everyone. My oldest is 9 and male (not that it matters, except maybe more active and harder to keep on task). I have not had them doing much other than unloading the dishwasher in the morning. I see that I may need to now get started with an after dinner routine, which I guarantee will be met with grumbling. Once they get into it, I'm sure they'll be fine. We have very few complaints about morning chores since they know they have no choice.
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ALmom
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A way to ease into getting help with dinner clean-up is something my dh started. We found that several of our dc get antsy at the table, but the rest of us enjoy a nice conversation. He would not have minded if the dc had wandered to do something quiet, non-destructive and clean. Instead they were running through the house, strewing stuff, etc.
Now whenever folks begin to wander away from the table, dh asks for specific help from the wandering dc. "Joseph, what happened to the glue on your chair, I guess it isn't working (lots of giggles)? Please, put the ketchup in the fridge, or take the plate to the dishwasher(they are all supposed to do this), etc. He sends them with one thing at a time, conversation continues reasonably well and then at some point, adults do pots and pans, while one of the older dc wipes table. We should sweep or vacuum, but Nicky usually makes it possible to put this off till after morning meals.
I guess it has always been a tradition in my extended family that unless we are using our fine china, everyone in the family clears their own place, rinses their own stuff (3yo cannot manage the rinsing real well without a chair so someone else sometimes helps him) and loads it (rather willy nilly) in the dishwasher. We need to call laggers back sometimes until the task is re-ingrained. At my grandmothers wedding, the servers actually got very tickled as streams of children came up to him with their plates, asking where to put them. This helps create a habit of picking up after yourself in the kitchen which is a later help when folks start fixing their own snacks at varying times throughout the day (I dream of banning the kitchen at times but don't think it will happen until we are on a very regimented schedule).
I must admit that this means water on the floor a lot, but then that helps with dirt build-up - right?
Our 3 yo and 5 yo are in training for clearing their own plates, but can also help wipe if an older is with them. They can also return items to the refrigerator with instructions - one thing at a time. The 8 yo wipes tables, helps clear (often one of the wanderers) and empties trash if he has forgotten to do it beforehand(you usually notice a full trash can if you have to scrape plates), the 11 yo wipes tables, unloads the dishwasher (if he has forgotten earlier, he also gets to help load because then all the individuals were not able to put dirty plates in the dishwasher - a great incentive for remembering). The oldest 2 are girls, they help with the remaining clean-up, although dad will often ask one of the older boys to vacuum if things are really bad or if 3 yo is starting to become overtired and difficult (13 yo girl is great with him and depending on the need she/I work with him and the other does remaining heavy clean-up like counters, big pots, skillets, storage of food(if dad has not had younger children do some of this by bringing storage containers to us at the table which we fill with the leftovers and send back with child to fridge). We have found that if we all work together, we have less problems with wandering toddlers making messes elsewhere and the chore is completed quickly. Our oldest generally does all the meal planning and cooking during the week, plus setting the table and unless she has left a total mess from her cooking we don't place a lot of demands on her at this time - she often uses it for one last practice on piano/violin.
I'm sure the other families have much cleaner houses than ours and better schedules - we are just learning to do more scheduling so one day we may look more systematic like the others. It's just our toddler is a real dervish - climbs the shelves to get the sweets and gum hidden behind on the very top shelf(or pulls it out of the trash already chewed), almost blew up the battery charger by trying to charge batteries (who knows where he found the stuff and thankfully his sibling buddy caught him before he actually did anything), helps himself to scissors and gets into daddy's tools, pours himself milk, has found the hidden glue and tape and now knows how to unlock the game closet. We just cannot leave him alone for any length of time for our sanity and his safety!
The disadvantage is that if you don't stay on top of it - since there isn't a real assignment things can begin to pile up. We've been meaning to put together a chore list because I cannot remember who has what chore and the dc forgot. This has been our system until that chore list is put together and finalized and posted (so I can keep up with who I'm supposed to call on if something isn't done). Organizational skills are not our strongest point but thought this might help someone else with similiar tendencies. It works reasonably well for us as a temporary measure.
Janet
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Willa
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We made a chart of dinner assignments about 4 years ago -- originally it rotated daily, but gradually the kids chose their favorites and traded off for them, and so I enshrined their choices so now each child has a consistent list of jobs. I cook and so do not clean after dinner, DH works to support us and so does not clean either.
This worked great until my oldest went off to college -- I didn't realize how much of the kitchen polish was due to him -- we've been retailoring so I am enjoying this conversation.
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Willa
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Sarah
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Dinner clean-up was great tonight! I happened to make caramel apples due to visiting grandpa's request so I could jokingly hold it over their heads until we were done. 9 year old ds cleared the counter, loading the dishwasher and putting things away. 7 yo ds wiped the table and swept the floor (kind of-but it was a great attempt)! They were happy and we all ate caramel apples afterward (then had to clean up again -
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teachingmom
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That's great Sarah! I'm so glad to hear it went so well tonight.
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~Irene (Mom to 6 girls, ages 7-19)
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4Real Forums : Our Lady's Loom, Larder, and Laundry
Topic: dinner clean-up
