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mamaslearning
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| Posted: Aug 24 2012 at 12:02pm | IP Logged
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Sounds odd, but I keep waiting to hit "bottom" and hoping that when I do I will finally tackle my eating and weight issues.
I am so stuck mentally that I sabotage any attempts I make at getting healthy. All the excuses and reasons choke out all the good intentions and I never get past one or two days. I keep thinking that someday I will just hit a low point and all of a sudden I'll be "ready" to lose weight.  So far, no bottom (except the one behind me that keeps getting bigger, and bigger  ).
It's like I'm deliberately gaining weight, because I went up almost 10 pounds in two months. I wait until everybody is in bed and then bask in the silence of the house (something that only happens when all are sleeping) and I grab something comforting to eat and enjoy. I enjoy the calm, the quiet, and not sharing my food.  It's like a compulsion. I know I shouldn't eat that bowl of ice cream (or chips or whatever), but I can't stop myself. I hold the spoon and cry because i know I shouldn't eat it, but I HAVE TO. I can't explain why I have to eat it, but I do. I've even made special trips to get the comfort food if nothing is in the house.
Probably a deficiency or hormone thing, but I just had a check up and blood work and nothing was out of the ordinary.
I cannot keep going this way or I'll end up very overweight and unhealthy.
Any good resources for conquering this type of mental resistance?
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Lara
DD 11, DS 8, DS 6, DS 4
St. Francis de Sales Homeschool
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JodieLyn
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First of all, it's hard with those ages, I would often short myself sleep just to get that quiet time.
My question is what are you eating during the day.. how do the mealtimes go? are you shorting yourself snacks and such during the day trying to make up for the night before?
Are you able to get up earlier than the kids?
What are your comfort foods besides ice cream?
Do you do any handwork items that you could do in the evenings so that your hands are busy?
Do you chew gum?
What drinks might be "comfort foods"? tea? hot cocoa?
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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margarita
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Have you had any luck w/ Christian weight-loss books? I read one 10 years ago that changed my life, The Weigh-Down Diet. There is a bit of controversy w/ the author, I think there is some issue that she and her husband don't accept the teaching on the Trinity... but the book was so helpful to me. It helped me see what GOD wants for my eating, what GOD wants for my life, what GOD wants for my each and every moment. The book is totally full of scriptural quotes and it just made me see for the first time that I wasn't struggling alone.
She has a whole section devoted to this secret, alone eating that you are doing (not like closet-eating, but more like wanting to be alone to enjoy the food, like it's all you look forward to all day long, how that kind of behavior is turning the food into an idol).
She also talks about some of her successful clients and friends crying in front of their refrigerators - not because they know they are going to eat the ice cream off the spoon when they shouldn't, but because the desire is SO strong and letting go of it is SO hard and it's an act of will where they are totally caught in the struggle and they are trying to give it to God. And then, they finally do. And that is the turning point.
Okay so I slip up now and again, but I've never forgotten the concepts.
I think there are a few other good Bible-based programs out there if Gwen Shamblin turns you off with her doctrinal differences. I read the book before I was Catholic; I still re-read it once every couple of years. It sounds like it could be the right book for you. Do read the reviews and be discerning; for me, the benefits outweigh the potential problems w/ the book.
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Married young and happy, chasing after a variety!
Two now in school: G-16, B-14
Two at home: G - 6.5, B - 2.5
One arriving February 2013
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SallyT
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Those are great questions, Jodie! And yes, even with fewer kids in the house, and fewer at difficult ages, I do put off going to bed, just to be by myself.
That in itself is a habit to fight, because shorting yourself on sleep can also sabotage your metabolism. Under any kind of stress, your body goes into "conservation" mode. I found that I was gaining weight even when I wasn't overeating (the joys of menopause . . . ), and one of the things I'm doing to combat that is to *make* myself go to bed preferably by 10:30. I don't always do it, but I'm getting better. Helps my daytime frame of mind as well, and my energy levels for exercise.
Accountability might really help, especially with those compulsions and cravings. Can your husband or a friend talk you out of making the trip to the store for goodies? Can you make a grocery list that excludes the goodies and stick to it (ie not impulse buy them even though they're not on your list)? Do one big weekly shopping and forbid yourself to go back to the store for anything? Send your husband if you need milk or bread, so that you're not confronted with the ice-cream aisle or the chips?
It can help to concentrate on your meals, making sure that you're being adequately physically nourished at mealtime. Make sure you have protein in some form at every meal. For me, the knock-on effect of not having eggs for breakfast is peckishness late at night -- what you do first thing in the morning really is relevant to what you do after dinner. It's so easy for a busy mom to skip breakfast or skimp on it, and maybe even lunch, too, and if she feels overweight, she's that much more likely to feel that skipping a meal will help, but like missing sleep, that's actually a form of self-sabotage. Ask me how I know . . . :)
I think Jodie is right in asking about things you can substitute to fill that time when the cravings are the worst -- the "me-time" when right now part of the happiness package is indulging in food. The idea is to retrain your mind to seek comfort from sources other than food, either by a soothing activity or by some pleasant ritual (I like a cup of tea or decaf coffee at night -- that's become my "dessert" after dinner). Maybe a really nice, pampering bath . . . maybe handwork, as Jodie suggests . . . whatever might fill that pleasure-space in you that's currently being filled by food.
Some strategies here for identifying your emotional triggers and training yourself to exercise moderation. This might be helpful as well.
Good luck! I'll be rooting for you!
Sally
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Aagot
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Do you have a yeast infection ( you can without even knowing)? To check, put a glass of water next to your bed at night so it is ready for you first thing in the morning. In the morning, spit into the water. If it is just foamy and sitting on top not yeast. If it is stringy or sinking to the bottom you have an over growth of yeast. This is important because the yeast can actually compel you to eat sugar. Its like the yeast is hungry and makes you hungry for what it needs. This will sabatoge any diet or will.
You might read the book The Diet Cure by Julia Ross. It shows how drug and alcohol addicts keep returning to their addictions no matter how much they really want to quit because their body chemistry is propelling the cravings. She makes the same statement for people trying to lose weight. She has several suggestions on supplements to take to get you over the cravings.
In the mean time, this is what I would try:
Stick to the shopping list
Go to bed at the same time as the kids (it is hard to eat when you are asleep)
and wake up earlier than them so you can have your alone time on a quiet walk.
Drink lots of lemon or mint water or herbal teas
Focus on lots of protein, have meals planned so you aren't stuck ordering to go.
As for hitting bottom, think of wanting to see your children's children and still being able to run and play with them.
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mamaslearning
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| Posted: Aug 24 2012 at 2:32pm | IP Logged
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I have to run, but real quick I'll answer Jodie's questions. 
I typically eat cereal for breakfast, fast food (when I'm stressed) or peanut butter sandwich, chips or other salty food for snack (and sweets) while youngest is napping and I enjoy some TV, and dinner is typical stuff like spaghetti, chicken, fish, and vegetables. I have a horrible diet, but shopping is such a struggle because *everything* (see the recent food thread) is bad for you. I know it doesn't make sense to then go out and eat fast food, the worst culprits of cruddy food, but I run through the drive-thru but at the store I stare at all the choices and can't make a decision because I've read too much about what to eat or not eat.
I'm so tired that I don't get up much earlier than the kids because I stay up so late (like 12 or 1 am).
Comfort foods are chips (addicted to sour cream and onion), chocolate, and nuts.
I don't do much handwork because of pain in my thumbs from an accident 20 years ago. I believe that I have arthritis settling in, and it's difficult to even use a pencil for very long.
I don't like chewing gum. Hurts my jaw.
Comfort drinks, hmm not many. I usually drink water or tea, but I do like soda.
Gotta run, but will be back to read all the posts tonight.
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Lara
DD 11, DS 8, DS 6, DS 4
St. Francis de Sales Homeschool
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mamaslearning
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| Posted: Aug 24 2012 at 4:16pm | IP Logged
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Thanks margarita for the book suggestion. I'll have to see if I can get a copy at the library.
Sally, thanks for being in my corner and cheering me on.
Aagot, I can't wait until morning to try the yeast test. I went to an Amish doctor earlier this year and he said it wasn't yeast that was my problem but that my blood sugars were messed up. I could've swore I had yeast! I went to the regular doc and my sugar levels seem fine.
As I ponder all these things, I forgot to mention one compelling reason I eat so much. If I get to the 'growling stomach' stage, I usually get very anxious while experience normal body reactions to hunger (which reminds me of my panic issues) and then I have to ward off a full-blown attack......SO......repeating this pattern for two years has taught me to keep my stomach full with something so that I don't get any physical jitters. Now, to me that reminds me of sugar problems (my niece is a Type 1), but I do not show those signs in my blood work. I wonder if I'm just super sensitive to the normal ups and downs of sugar levels? Would a diet similar to a diabetic's diet even out those ups and downs?
Just thinking out loud.
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Lara
DD 11, DS 8, DS 6, DS 4
St. Francis de Sales Homeschool
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margarita
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Yup - I don't register as diabetic at all, but my body sure acts like one. I now consume hardly anything sweet. The only fruits I can tolerate are apples, pears and blueberries, and not even usually one a day. I have to watch breads, potatoes, that sort of thing.
It feels much better to have a lowish-carb diet. I'm not nuts about it, and I definitely cheat/binge sometimes. But overall my health, moods, etc. are more stable than they were on a high-carb with fruit and sugar diet.
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Two now in school: G-16, B-14
Two at home: G - 6.5, B - 2.5
One arriving February 2013
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margarita
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As far as following a diabetic-type diet though, you really have to do your research. We were with a young diabetic friend recently, and she pulled out a Special K protein bar, and I thought it might be a suitable snack for me. So, I asked her what the sugar count was: 15g for one small bar! I nearly fell over. She had just told me she is supposed to stay away from sweet things. Well, 15g is the same amount of sugar that is in some Haagen Daz flavors. (Ben $ Jerry's has more like 26g) I'd personally rather have the ice cream. Or, not the sugar at all, in any form. A spoonful of nut butter would be a better choice than a "protein" bar!
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Married young and happy, chasing after a variety!
Two now in school: G-16, B-14
Two at home: G - 6.5, B - 2.5
One arriving February 2013
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Mrs. B
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You could check out the book "the Mood Cure " for some ideas about supplements that help you relax, without having to resort to eating high fat and sugar products. Brain chemicals have a lot to do with anxiety issues and can influence all your horemones. Also, you sound like you have hypoglycemia so a diet like sugar busters might help in the long run. Also research adrenalin fatigue. It took me months to get past this after my 4'th was born.
It's bad cycle to be on...small steps are needed to get better, don't try to change all at once, small steps and when you feel like you have fixed a problem then add another one. Otherwise you can sabotage your efforts because nobody can change 100 bad habits all at once.
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and a bunch of rabbits, a pack of dogs, a clowder of cats, and some fish.
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mommy4ever
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Lara, i completely understand the alone-time! It's rare and precious in this house.
I don't allow myself to stay up late often. I find dh gets really grumpy if I do it too often,plus that is often the only time we get uninterrupted time to talk. So I limit it. And I'm a happier person for it.
I do wake with dh in the morning, unless he's going in early, and it gets me 1 hour before my kids start waking. Quiet time to reflect, pray, bible study, journal or even paint. I decide the night before what my plan is for the morning, and get my 'workbox' ready. Then in the morning, the kettle goes on for tea and I enjoy my quiet time.
I have found that if I have a set bedtime for myself, and a refrigerator cut of time, which at the moment is a struggle, as it's been camping season and my bedtime is no longer set, that I don't tend to gain weight. I stabilize and even lose a little. But with a set bedtime, comes more regular meals too. I don't tend to go for sweets or snacks if I'm up before the kids, I'm going for real food as it's breakfast time.
I am on a weightloss journey too, I was doing well, and summer sabotaged me, maybe next summer I'll be at a weight goal and won't let it happen.
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1 graduated June 2012
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2 homeschooled(one considering art school!)
ardently praying for a new addition to our family.
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stefoodie
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I have to work really hard on the "not staying up late" because it's so tempting to work when it's quiet. but it really is wreaking havoc on my metabolism too.
some things that might help (I skimmed so please forgive me if these have been mentioned):
stock up on snacks that are good for you. some favorites:
- almonds, un-roasted, un-salted; walnuts too
- jicama cut into sticks and tossed with lemon juice and a bit of salt
- eggs
- if you have to have dried fruit, try to find those sweetened with apple juice instead of added sugar, or better yet no-sugar dried fruits. i found some organic figs at costco.
- avocado
- yogurt + touch of maple syrup or honey + chia seeds
- berries, fresh or frozen
- "good" soups like miso+vegetable, brown rice+chicken+ginger
beverages:
- homemade fruit and vegetable waters. eg, cucumber water, strawberry+basil, ginger+lemonjuice+honey,
- protein smoothie = berries +protein powder + spinach + banana + cinnamon
- almond smoothie = almond butter + cinnamon + vanilla + banana + spinach
- ginger+lemon juice + chai or green tea + honey + almond milk
drink water! when you think you're hungry, try water first.
i find that i'm more easily tempted when i let temptation into the house, as in recently when hubby brought home a bunch of chocs from Germany. so get rid of stuff. donate to charity (unopened items) or if you have opened things, focus on finishing them with family for a week, and throw out the rest. ask your family for their help/cooperation.
how's your prayer life? i find that when i focus on that first thing in the morning, i'm able to better able to maintain focus on other things in my life as well.
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stef
mom to five
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Erica Sanchez
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Ah, Lara, my heart is hurting for you and I will pray for you.
I can so relate to enjoying (even longing for) the quiet house after the middles and littles are in bed. And, I do tend to want and often indulge in a treat at this time, too.
I don't have much to add to all of the wonderful advice above except to emphasize exercise. In my 'old' age I am finding that I just can't either lose weight or keep it off without some kind of exercise which for me is usually just walking. I would make that a priority because it will make you feel good quickly.
I am not an expert at all, but if I had to create a plan of attack I would go in this order:
- exercise everyday - a 30 minute brisk walk will do wonders
- water, water, water - which it sounds like you already drink, but drink more
- add more healthy protein to all meals/snacks
- add in healthy snacks between meals
- gradually work on an earlier bedtime
- read the books mentioned and work on the mental and emotional aspects
I wouldn't necessarily begin by giving up the evening snack or trying to cut out all of the junk food during the day. I think that will be too hard and might be easier once you are starting to feel better and probably losing a few pounds, too! The mental and emotional aspects are very real, I think, but might be more easily tackled once you are feeling better physically.
One thing you could do right away is work on portions. If you want the ice cream at night, enjoy a small bowl and don't feel guilty (especially if you've made significant changes during the day). And, enjoy some of the junkier food but less often. Maybe the sour cream and onion chips are a treat for the whole family on Sunday afternoon. Or, eat fast food once a week or even once a month for a birthday celebration or something like that. I don't think it's realistic to try to cut all of the bad stuff out all of the time. Over time, you can research and find 'less' bad stuff to indulge in. :)
I am in your corner, too, Lara! You can do this. Your kiddos are young. Make the changes for them. For your husband. For yourself! Don't let yourself be overwhelmed, but commit to changing one thing each week.
Much love and hope to you. 
__________________
Have a beautiful and fun day!
Erica in San Diego
(dh)Cash, Emily, Grace, Nicholas, Isabella, Annie, Luke, Max, Peter, 2 little souls ++, and sweet Rose who is legally ours!
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JodieLyn
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I was just thinking the smaller portion thing.. maybe even getting a pretty SMALL bowl that you could put your ice cream in. Something about having your own pretty dish makes the portion control seem more doable. And paying attention to what you're eating and taking smaller bites.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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10 Bright Stars
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I think sometimes we eat emotionally because we are sort of stuffing ourselves aside because we tend to put everyone else first. I know that I do that, and then I "treat" myself to this or that food as a "break" or, "now that the kids are all in bed, I can relax with___" name the food. If I have had a hard day, the PBJ doesn't talk back, or complain about things. Sad to say, but I think the few times I have had success with food control, I really just had to have a complete mental shift. I gave myself very strict limits on when I ate. I would only eat three meals a day, with a 3 p.m. snack. (Still nursing, so I tend to know I get hungry that time of day, and I am tired, so might as well "know myself" and not set myself to fail.) Anyway, I also ate a lot of those field greens that you get in the plastic containers. That, with a few almonds, hard-boiled egg, or maybe a little cheese sometime for lunch, and I wasn't hungry all day! Also, I would eat the same for dinner, with tilapia and whatever veggie the kids were eating, and, again, I didn't "need" that bedtime snack. Breakfast...cereal or greek yogurt. So, you see, protein is key, lots of fresh, green leafy veggies, nuts...but I cut out a lot of the carbs that were my "comfort" food, which just made me very hungry. I really need to go back to this way of eating! I stopped when my two boys were sick a month ago...again, caring for them and not myself at all...still sleep deprived from sleepness nights!, and I have been super hungry again and on the food ferris wheel. Anyway, I am not an expert, and not successful as far as being consistant with it, but when I DO follow that plan, I do seem to have less hunger, more energy, and do not fly to food for "comfort". Taking care of ourselves is NOT selfish! I always feel selfish buying "speciality" food and telling the kids to NOT touch my Greeek yogurt or field greens (they are pricey), but they are eating healthy food too, just food that does not seem to process well in MY body as I am aging, etc.
Anyway, good luck and don't get discouraged. The time to begin is NOW, not Monday morning, not after the next bedtime snack. Just start NOW and see what happens. I think sometimes we sabotage ourselves more than anything. Have confidence in yourself! Taking ownership is what people like us need, so own your responsibility in just not eating whenever you want. See it as a virtue building exercise. It is good to have self-control, and you will start to respect yourself more with the control you exhibit over food. "When" I was following a more abstinant food plan, I felt SO self-confident!!! I hadn't even lost that much weight, but I had a self-respect that I didn't normally possess. So, each little success, each time you have a "win" with yourself, you are building confidence in yourself, and it does feel good! Go for it!!! You are worth it!
__________________
Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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CrunchyMom
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Kim and Sally have both mentioned protein at breakfast, and I know that is a factor for me. If I eat my English breakfast, I suffer much less with cravings the rest of the day. Psychologically, it also means I took the time to take care of myself first thing.
We actually eat a real breakfast all together before dh leaves for work. I know that won't work for everyone for various reasons, but I save the lighter choices like yogurt for easy lunches, and I feel better for it.
It also helps to prep a lot of raw veggies and sliced meat at one time so that there are easy snacks and meals to grab that are healthy.
Anyway, I think I would start with trying to develop your morning routine as a first defense. High protein with good fats for breakfast, a favorite cup of tea, and that prioritized prayer Stef suggested. I think that will do more to set you in the right direction than tackling those evening indulgences with will power alone.
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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Chris V
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I am loving reading all wonderful sound advice here! So much of what has been said resonates with me well. ... And really, I don't have much to add and don't want to beat a dead horse, but for me, success comes from success. If I'm aiming to lose a few pounds, seeing a pound or two lost will motivate me like nothing else. ... It is tangible proof that what I am doing is working and to keep at it!
Prioritizing myself is important, I may not ever get time alone, have a spa day, go grocery shopping by myself, *but* I can take care of myself. Before my twins were born in December, I would cook myself a hot meal for lunch every single day (and had for years). I realize that this sounds impossible to do consistently, but really, it took only minutes to turn on the stove, toss a handful of fresh greens in a sauté pan (along with a few other veggies of choice), put a piece of almond bread in the toaster, and crack a hard boiled egg. By the time my almond bread was toasted, the veggies were sautéed, my egg lightly salted, my tea poured, and I was at the table enjoying my food. Now that the twins are getting older, this routine is once again becoming a daily staple for me. It makes me feel good. I'm seeing a few of those baby pounds go away, and my clothes are fitting just a bit looser. No one can tell just by looking at me, but *I* know it 
You can do this, Lara! Life is really just a series of choices we make, everyday. Big choices, little choices. Don't do it all at once, but make one bitty choice today. And stay with that one choice until you are ready for the next choice. 
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Chris
Happy Wife with my Happy Life
Mama to My Five Girls ('04~'07~'09~'11~'11)
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Erin
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Lara
I was thinking as I read your post that Jen's Saint Diet series may aid you.
You share that you are better on a low carb diet, I totally understand that as it is my experience too. I've been reading more about it all, when we eat wheat it stimulates the appetite (keeping it non technical here or I will glaze over) and therefore we eat more. I know when I keep away from grains and sugar my weight drops as does my craving to eat. You do however have ride out the first 2-3 days, which is why I thought a spiritual aspect as the saint diet could help
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Erin
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mamaslearning
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Thank you sooooooooo much for the support. I'm overwhelmed! Sorry to be gone for so long, but we finally put the house on the market this week and had to move some things out and do final prep work. Whew! It's done for now, so I just need to maintain.
I stumbled upon a book called The Lean Diet that is all about adding in new habits that crowd out all the bad habits (drink water, eat a satisfying breakfast, eat an apple a day, etc.). I'm all about checklists, so this might be a good starting point for my new eating habits. I also picked up some Vit D3 drops and on the suggestion of a friend I'm going to incorporate bone broths to up my minerals. I know I need to give up pure sugar because I feel horrible after eating it (even without the emotional baggage that accompanies the indulgences). I'm also going to no caffeine, which shouldn't be too hard except for family gatherings. I keep having headaches after consuming caffeine, so I'm guessing I'm a bit sensitive to it or the other junk that seems to be included in caffeinated drinks.
Speaking of the bottom...Thanks for helping me realize that I don't need a proverbial bottom in order to take the steps needed to start down a new path. Inspired by all the wonderful advice, I actually walked away from the pantry yesterday when I was stressed and needing comfort. I said to myself, "I'm not hungry, but I'll drink my glass of water and if I'm still hungry I'll eat an apple." It worked, so I'm going to stick that one in my toolbox! As I slowly read through all the posts again I'm beginning to formulate my plan of attack.
Now, on to the stress of searching for a new home and helping the children leave the comfort of having lived at the same house their whole life.
Love you all!!
__________________
Lara
DD 11, DS 8, DS 6, DS 4
St. Francis de Sales Homeschool
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mamaslearning
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| Posted: Sept 01 2012 at 11:20am | IP Logged
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With your prayers, I've made some progress this week. I've started drinking water before each meal to help fill my belly, I've cut way back on processed foods, I haven't been to the fast food joints at all this week (that's a HUGE accomplishment), I'm aiming for an apple each day, I'm more conscious about what, why, and when I'm eating, and I went to the store last night and did not purchase any trigger foods!
So, in piecing things together, I'm convinced that hormones are a major player in my life right now. After starting my healthy habit changes, I also started my cycle and I feel great. So, I'm going to watch the calendar closely and see how my cycle and emotions progress. From my reading, the last two weeks of my cycle should be the worst in regards to emotions (rage, panic, etc.), so I'm going to keep some records that my Doc and I can dissect. One thing that is suggested is to cut caffeine and sugar, so I'm off caffeine and slowly making healthier choices when it comes to sugar. If need be, I might look into progesterone cream with my doctor's oversight.
You always hear that it's a lifestyle change not a diet, but it was just so much easier to stay stuck in the same routines. They were (are) my comfort zone and I was balking at the thought of finding new habits. I was just too tired to even think about changing!
It's also amazing how much sleep really affects my day - getting more sleep means more energy to tackle my day, means more energy to seek out changes, means energy to make those changes, means energy to do my chores, means I'm tired at the end of the day, which means I go to bed earlier and GET MORE SLEEP.
Plus, my youngest is now completely weaned and in his own bed at night. It takes some time to parent him to sleep, but once he's asleep he stays in bed all night. It's amazing how much better we sleep with just the two of us in bed!
Times, they are a changin'! 
__________________
Lara
DD 11, DS 8, DS 6, DS 4
St. Francis de Sales Homeschool
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4Real Forums : Our Lady of Good Remedy and Care
Topic: Please, help me hit bottom!
