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Topic: Labor harder with subsequent children?

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*Lindsey*
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Posted: Aug 17 2010 at 8:25am \| IP Logged

My labor with Nicholas was my longest (12 hours) but it wasn't "hard" until the end. In fact, my contractions were 5-10 minutes apart until the end and would only keep coming if I was up and moving. After he was born I was really thankful he was a boy because I really didn't want to think about doing that EVER again.

I can't figure out why my first 3 labors were 7, 4, and 2 hours. And my last two were 9 and 12 hours.

I'm going in the wrong direction! Could it be that my body just needs a break (as I've been told)? 6 kids in 7 years is too much?

I was talking to a mom of 11 last night at soccer practice, and she said in her experience, labor gets harder with each additional child.

Anyone care to discuss this?

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Lindsey
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Chris V
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Posted: Aug 17 2010 at 9:28am \| IP Logged

Perhaps I'm not qualified to answer this, after all, I've only yet birthed three children. However, I'm one of those whacky-women who happens to relish my birthing times and I look forward to them with all the anticipation and heart-bursting love of this God-filled miracle that is the birth of our children!... (I'm getting all fired up here

). Thus far I've been blessed to birth naturally, with no intervention, and no pain management medications; and with my last birth, I was determined to move my experience up a notch into the "I enjoyed my labor" category. I didn't want the drama, the agony, the sterio-typical "birth" with unnecessary screaming and bursts of pain-induced crying (I'm describing my first two births

); I wanted to be present for my births, really, truely present. To enjoy the wonders of my body doing exactly as God intended, in a state of complete awareness, yet being comfortable and yes, to enjoy all that was happening. Being a HUGE fan of Ina May Gaskin, and having read all of her books at least a dozen times, I decided to take the leap into deep meditation as my only preparation for birth. I studied the Hypnobabies program and had, what I still consider, to be the most powerfully intimate experience of my life while birthing my little girl. I shed tears of joy the entire time, was comfortable with all that was happening, and it didn't matter who was in the room, all who existed during this moment was me, my daughter, and Jesus, who stood next to me the entire time. I spent my time laboring at home and was completely comfortable; and although I had (at that time) birthed twice before, naturally, my third experience was unbelievably joyous and beautiful. I was calm and completely enveloped in God's love.

Realizing that I sound as though I'm a paid spokesperson for Hypnobabies (which I assure you, I am not

) for my next birth, I will do the same preparation as with my third because it was *that* successful and that wonderful

. I personally believe that your state of mind has the power to change the outcome of your labor - no stinkin' thinkin'

; the power of positive thought, which I began my meditative study right around 30 weeks with my last pregnancy - and it changed the course of my experience in such a profoundly beautiful way

.

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JodieLyn
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Posted: Aug 17 2010 at 9:31am \| IP Logged

every pregnancy is it's own.. and as far as I can tell it only vaguely related to others.

My longest labor was #3.. my shortest was #7.. and head size plays more a part than # or weight of baby. I bled more with 1, 2 and 3 and less with the others (arnica is wonderful stuff!!)

Red Raspberry Leaf in capsules or as tea is one thing that can really help your body prepare for and recover from labor. Not to mention good nutrition overall and I found that with kids close together that means not just what I eat but that I MUST take high quality pre-natal vitamins before during and after each pregnancy.. I use NF Formulas prenatal forte, but Rainbow Light Complete are good too and can be gotten cheaper online.

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Jodie, wife to Dave
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Lisbet
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Posted: Aug 17 2010 at 12:20pm \| IP Logged

Heh. Baby #10 (in 14 years) came just under 2 hours after the first contraction. I actually didn't think I was really in labor until about 45 minutes before I was holding her. My shortest labor before that was 4 hours. Each labor is as different as each child.

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Lisa, wife to Tony,
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Greta, 3
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Josephine born 6.11.12

*Lindsey*
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Posted: Aug 17 2010 at 12:22pm \| IP Logged

I had all of mine naturally, too, Chris. The last two were born at home. I've heard of hypnobabies and just might have to check it out next time! I love the way you describe your last birth.

Jodie, I do all those things you mentioned. RRL tea, Rainbow light Prenatals, etc.

Nichoals did have a big head, 15 inches. And there was meconium in my water and stuck all over his head when he was born. Maybe it's all related.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, ladies. I look forward to hearing more!

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Lindsey
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folklaur
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Posted: Aug 17 2010 at 12:37pm \| IP Logged

Chris V wrote:

Realizing that I sound as though I'm a paid spokesperson for Hypnobabies (which I assure you, I am not

I used hypnobirthing for my last pregnancy and I agree, it was wonderful. My nurse was amazed.

I have also had three, with my longest labor being a little over 5 hours from first twinge to babe in arms - and that was my only son, who is also the middle child, and was the smallest at 8.8 lbs, but he was sideways, and yes, towards the end of that I asked for pain meds, but they said it was too late, he was already coming - so all of mine have been med free too.

I had fully intended to have pain meds with my first child, but my labor lasted 2 hours 47 minutes from the very first twinge of "hhmmmm, that felt different..." to her birth. Quite fast for a first pregnancy, and she was over 9 pounds, too. (No one believed I was as far along as I was, and almost had her in an ambulance....) So, my labors are not bad.

However, I struggle with SEVERE hyperemesis, and am terribly, violently sick for the entire 9 months prior.

Got a little off track there, sorry, but again - I highly recommend hypno-birthing. Our hospital offered classes and everything. It was such a different and wonderful experience, and like I said, my labors weren't too bad to start with (and this was even with having bleeding complications after my last daughter's birth.)

CrunchyMom
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Posted: Aug 17 2010 at 12:50pm \| IP Logged

Lisbet wrote:

Each labor is as different as each child.

Except for the back pain

I have back labor, and it has been the "constant" through all three.

I've never heard that labor itself was harder with subsequent babies (I've often heard that the first labor is the hardest?), but I have heard that after-labor contractions are more painful with subsequent babies. Its been true for me with my three, but I'm sure there will be those who take exception. People's bodies are so differen! But, perhaps that is where you got the idea?

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Lindsay
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*Lindsey*
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Posted: Aug 17 2010 at 1:01pm \| IP Logged

CrunchyMom wrote:

I have heard that after-labor contractions are more painful with subsequent babies. Its been true for me with my three, but I'm sure there will be those who take exception. People's bodies are so differen! But, perhaps that is where you got the idea?

It's definitely been true for me! But she was actually talking about labor, she said her labors got harder with each child.

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Lindsey
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Chris V
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Posted: Aug 17 2010 at 1:08pm \| IP Logged

folklaur wrote:

Got a little off track there, sorry, but again - I highly recommend hypno-birthing. Our hospital offered classes and everything. It was such a different and wonderful experience, and like I said, my labors weren't too bad to start with (and this was even with having bleeding complications after my last daughter's birth.)

I used Hypno-babies, rather than Hypno-birthing; they are actually two different programs, but I've heard many, many success stories from people I know, who have used each. I personally chose the Hypno-babies program because they offer a program that you can do at home, at your leisure, and as often as you like. I loved that! They also offer a buy-back program. If you take good care of your CD's and informational binder they will buy your materials back from you for up to 80% of the purchase cost!

It goes without saying, that you get out of it what you put into it. I fell in love with my listening and meditative time, and I had no doubt, from the very beginning, that my impending birth would be an amazing spiritual experience that I would hold in my heart all my life ... I was not disappointed

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JodieLyn
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Posted: Aug 17 2010 at 1:09pm \| IP Logged

get a good calcium/magnesium/potassium supplement and take extra after the birth.. it makes a HUGE difference in those after pains. (and while we're at it.. arnica - homeopathic and bromelain - enzyme in pineapple, make recovery faster and easier than just about anything else you can do)

A lot of what they talk about is that there is this assumption that the uterus gets "worn out" and that there's no way to rebuild.. so that the uterus works less well each pregnancy.

But the red raspberry leaf does help rebuild the uterus and the better nutrition we have access too.. and know to get, even compared to 30 yrs ago, probably has a great deal to do with it as well. For instance the idea that babies either get bigger (out of control.. maybe gestational diabetes before it was well diagnosed) or get smaller each time (probably lack of nutrition).. the getting smaller each time may also lead to the faster labor each time.

What I do know is that my faster labor had the smallest head of the bunch and #2 and #8 had the largest and same size head even though they were almost 3lbs apart in size and the labors were super similar.. and the hardest labor was wrong positioning on my part which my CNM should have caught but didn't.. and which I've since managed to avoid (you shouldn't use any type of squatting position until baby is at least at 0 station btw)

I like the Bradley Method.. though I don't follow it exactly at this point.. but I like the inward focus and working with your body that it promotes as well.

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Chris V
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Posted: Aug 17 2010 at 1:22pm \| IP Logged

...I wanted to elaborate on the Hypno-babies program just a bit more. The buy-back program is offered for when you are done using your materials (presumably after birth). They do this so that they can offer the materials to other women who may have finanicial constraints; they provide that materials at a discounted rate for those who are having hardships. (I thought that was worth mentioning). I met the women at Hypno-babies at was so impressed with their dedication to informing women of how beautiful birth can be

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Erin
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Posted: Aug 17 2010 at 3:24pm \| IP Logged

Lindsey

My experience has also been that each birth is different, some of my later labours have actually been quiet easy on the pain barometer really and certainly all have been quicker than my first.

I'll be honest, perhaps too honest, and admit that what gets harder the more children you have, is the mental part of labouring. With the first few children you can think positive, do the visualising well etc. Once you've been through it a few more times, you don't forget and I, and I know other mums of many are the same, find it harder to get your mind in the right groove. My last labour(no. 9) was probably my easiest physically but I didn't behave well

because my mind so didn't co-operate.

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MicheleQ
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Posted: Aug 17 2010 at 5:04pm \| IP Logged

All 10 of mine were different. The last two were pretty fast but also very intense.

In regards to Hypnobabies I would use caution as it apparently has a new age connection: http://lhla.org/newage/?p=102

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CrunchyMom
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Posted: Aug 17 2010 at 5:54pm \| IP Logged

*Lindsey* wrote:

CrunchyMom wrote:

It's definitely been true for me! But she was actually talking about labor, she said her labors got harder with each child.

Thanks, Lindsey. I'm afraid I get more absent minded with each pregnancy as well

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Lindsay
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JodieLyn
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Posted: Aug 17 2010 at 6:40pm \| IP Logged

Erin wrote:

I'll be honest, perhaps too honest, and admit that what gets harder the more children you have, is the mental part of labouring. With the first few children you can think positive, do the visualising well etc. Once you've been through it a few more times, you don't forget and I, and I know other mums of many are the same, find it harder to get your mind in the right groove. My last labour(no. 9) was probably my easiest physically but I didn't behave well

because my mind so didn't co-operate.

This is very true Erin.. if you can maintain focus it's not too bad.. but the later pregnancy/labors I'm definately much more likely to want to cry and whine and tell everyone that I really can't do it and can't we just skip this part.

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Chris V
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Posted: Aug 17 2010 at 6:43pm \| IP Logged

MicheleQ wrote:

I have to admit that I took a gasp when I read this Michele, having not known prior, any associations between Hypnobabies and the New Age movement. How disappointing...

However, the premise remains lovely. That it is entirely within reason to have, and even expect or anticipate a beautiful, fulfilling, and peaceful birthing time; and that the media images, and the hyped-up, and often the common encounters with checkout clerks at the grocery store, who terrify innocent mothers into thinking that labor is awful, horrible, and the best thing you can do is to become numb to it all. Literally. So sad. Because it just is not so. It is empowering, and incredibly amazing!

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Erin
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Posted: Aug 17 2010 at 7:34pm \| IP Logged

JodieLyn wrote:

if you can maintain focus it's not too bad.. but the later pregnancy/labors I'm definitely much more likely to want to cry and whine and tell everyone that I really can't do it and can't we just skip this part.

I remember last labour in late second stage starting to hop off the table and the staff asked, what was I doing? I told them I was going home I'd changed my mind I didn't want to be there.

I don't remember throwing ice at my dh but he swears I did

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MicheleQ
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Posted: Aug 17 2010 at 8:32pm \| IP Logged

Chris V wrote:

MicheleQ wrote:

I have to admit that I took a gasp when I read this Michele, having not known prior, any associations between Hypnobabies and the New Age movement. How disappointing...

It is disappointing. The new age stuff is so pervasive these days. It feels like you have to have a constant vigilance. Then again that's exactly what we have to do, evil never sleeps and we are part of the Church militant.

Chris V wrote:

However, the premise remains lovely. That it is entirely within reason to have, and even expect or anticipate a beautiful, fulfilling, and peaceful birthing time; and that the media images, and the hyped-up, and often the common encounters with checkout clerks at the grocery store, who terrify innocent mothers into thinking that labor is awful, horrible, and the best thing you can do is to become numb to it all. Literally. So sad. Because it just is not so. It is empowering, and incredibly amazing!

I agree. I've never had an epidural (which isn't to brag but rather that I really couldn't bear the thought of a needle in my spine) and while painful and difficult I definitely find childbirth to be empowering!

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guitarnan
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Posted: Aug 17 2010 at 9:38pm \| IP Logged

Chris, you're so right...I was amazed at how alive I felt when dd was born. (They put me out for my son's birth - emergency C - so when dd was born it was sort of like being a first-time mom.) Everyone kept asking me how I felt and wanting me to rest...!!! I just wanted to be with my children, and I still feel the same way.

Michele, I am just like you. (Well, with fewer children!) I wish I had more fortitude and could face that epidural...but it is scary to me.

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Posted: Aug 17 2010 at 10:34pm \| IP Logged

All 3 completely different experiences however the last was the best labor (and shortest) and best delivery so I'm hoping for a repeat here in a few weeks!!!

I did mention to my husband last night in a somewhat melancholy way (since as my girth grows so does my anxiety) "Sooo...she's gotta come out somehow." His grand reply (w/ a slight laugh)...."Ya think?!" I guess they just don't get how (concerning?) this part is to us.

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