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Mama Moon
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| Posted: May 22 2006 at 3:29pm | IP Logged
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Hi everyone,
This is just a fun detective thing I'm going to ask.
People within Europe say that they can tell what country someone comes from by certain characteristics. In the UK many people can tell what school you come from just by the way you talk!
So, what are the characteristics of a Montessori child - not when he is in the classroom but when in a group with other regular school kids?
I discussed this with my friends and we have come up with one thing that someone read in one of Montessori's books about the normalized child. It went a bit like this:
When a group of children enter a room, a bunch of them eagerly take up the toys on offer and discard them after a moment and choose another. The rest stand, look around and assess their environment. Only after this they choose and calmly take up their activity and spent some purposeful time with it. Montessori expects you to say that the first kids are normalized, that they are confident and they go and get what they want. However, she points out that it is the other kids who look timid and unsure who are normalized They understand that they are in a new situation and are very aware of them sleves and others. Also they purposefully choose what activity to do according to their real needs as they spend longer on it.
We did this test for fun amongst good friends. We thought it may work in some cases, but not for all. We asked a non-parent to note the observations. To our surprise, all the 6 Montessori children out of 15 acted in the way Montessori said (all the others rushed to it)! Until then, the some of the Moms thought that their kids were just timid in big groups - they never thought that a deeper level of comprehension was going through their children's minds!!
So, if you are a Montessori Mom with a child that doesn't just bound into the scene shouting HI GUYS, you are definitely not the only one.
Just hoping that it will make someone smile 
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Donna Marie
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| Posted: May 22 2006 at 8:10pm | IP Logged
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I came across this today...interestng FWIW. I don't know if any of these are duplicates...
Montessori vs Traditional
Montessorivs Traditional schooling
and another
and more
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Donna Marie from NJ
hs momma to 9dc!!
Finding Elegant Simplicity
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Willa
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| Posted: May 22 2006 at 9:19pm | IP Logged
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That's very interesting, Mama Moon. It made me think!
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Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
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Mari
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| Posted: May 23 2006 at 4:27pm | IP Logged
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I have 2 dds who behave like that! They are confident but calm and respectful in their home environment. But in a new environment they need time to assess everything(the people, situation, etc.) before quietly finding their place, activity or the child with which they want to play with or help. They are really consious of the needs of others and the more people there are, the more time they need to assess. Everyone thinks they really shy but maybe Montessori is closer to the truth. But there again, it is easier to say your children are shy than explain all the rest everytime we walk into a new situation.
Just an anecdote. We visited a family who likes the Montessori materials, has lots, but doesn't put the theory into practice. They had a birthday party the other day, and the mother had put out lots of toys and amongst them the pink tower and the brown stairs to play with. The blocks were all chipped and already in a sorry state. In 10 minutes were dispersed across the floor and under the table by happy little ones. My dds were horrified to see these materials treated in this way and tried to rescue them. 
Edited: I forgot to say we have used Montessori from birth
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Mari, mother of 2 loving daughters aged 8 and 10
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Katie
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| Posted: May 24 2006 at 12:26am | IP Logged
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This is interesting. I have a firend here who uses/has used Montessori exclusively and her girls appear painfully shy in group settings. I'll have to forward this thread to her. Incidentally, she is unconcerned and accepting of the shyness, so perhaps she is already familiar with these thoughts.
My children appear to be a mix. Most of the them are highly extrovert and very social. They do run into a room saying "Hello everyone - here I am!!!" However, they also treat our Montessori materials with respect, and at others' houses do not run about picking up one toy then another, but tend to choose one thing and really play with it. Interesting.
Incidentally, when I have playgroup at my house, I try and set up centres like puppets, dolls, trains, puzzles, dollhouse, then I usually have a table with some sensorial/educational materials - stringing beads, perhaps the pink tower, sound boxes etc. I'm always wondering if I should do this, because they are not being used properly in the strictest sense, but then the rebel in me says "oh well" - why shouldn't other children get the chance to use these things? It's not going to harm them or me. It has in fact, introduced lots of mothers to alternative toy ideas (not loud, plastic, with flashing lights) and has led to many discussions on Montessori and educational/child rearing philosophies. In that way I think it has been nothing but positive. Also, it's cute to see my older girls show the little ones how to use something.
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Mama Moon
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| Posted: May 24 2006 at 5:17pm | IP Logged
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Just another thing a Montessori school owner in Italy who is a friend of mine has said her peers have found that her school children are hardly ever ill compared with the other local schools. You don't get colds and flu being passed around in circles. She also says that almost all children in her school have never been absent for a day, and some who's parents inform her that they have never spent a day in bed.
Montessori believed that most of childhood illness was linked to the mind and that a normalised children who is fullfilled will enjoy better health. She often gave examples of children who suffered fever, colds and unexplicable illnesses who got better when a certain need was addressed or the child was understood by an adult. She even found this to be true when she opened schools where undernourished children came (Italy, India), their health improved unbelievably because their other true developmental needs were met even though they still did not get enough to eat.
So maybe those same children who may be labelled unsocial (which is actually the opposite, as they are very aware of others and their needs) and shy, are fortunate enough to be enjoying excellent health!
This has opened my eyes on my dds health. Both have shown this type of health (never one day in bed, the worst thing is a runny nose when playing around others with heavy coughs and flu). We have also lived in some precarious conditions due to my dhs job so it has always amazed me. So now I have to say that I support the idea that the child's psyche is so powerful as to affect their health in this extreme way.
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Mari
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| Posted: June 12 2006 at 8:40am | IP Logged
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Hello Mama Moon,
I have been meaning to add to this for a while now, but always get pulled away from the computer 
My daughers have had super health - we have never been to the doctors in their lives apart from the first one because she was born in hospital and not at home!
I always put it down to the following - yes the child's psyche is really something that should not be underestimated - and as Montessori said most childhood illness is linked to this. The Montessori approach obviously is destined to meat the real needs of the child so she will stay healthy in that respect.
We have always applied a Montessori attitude with the dds from the word go.
Mamamoon you are very gifted because although you have lived in difficult conditions you have been able to nurture your children.
We have an easy lifestyle; so I cannot if our practise of the Montessori approach is as well done as you are doing! We are fortunate to be able to also to eat organic food. They have never had any medicines (apart from some homeopathy that I administer myself) nor antibiotics (not any antibiotics present in non-organic meat). Also we do not consume any dairy products.
We have never vaccinate the children and have decided to stick this way especially since in our village there was an out break of 2 childhood diseases and the only children who seriously suffered had already been vaccinated.
I have friends who do the same as we do but their children go to the local school. I have noticed that the ones who are frustrated with school life tend to be the ones who pick up and pass colds to one another.
It is really interesting that you have experienced the importance of the well being of the child's psyche in such a clear way.
I was wondering if you vaccinate your children? I have read that some aid workers who have to work in unhealthy conditions do not because of the risks - they feel that their health is compromised and that if they fall ill they do not have the medical facilities at hand. Since you are in that situation, I would be really interested in your opinion.
Blessings
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Mari, mother of 2 loving daughters aged 8 and 10
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Mama Moon
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| Posted: June 15 2006 at 3:34am | IP Logged
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Hello Mari
No, I have never vaccinated my children. Their health is my responsibility and since no pharmaceutical comany in the world has been willing to give me their written assurance that their vaccinations are not dangerous for my child (if you write and ask them, I'm sure you are not going to get one either - they make these vacinations so they know that they are highly toxic and what they can do!), I cannot give my consent for them to be used.
I am always on the quest for the truth - so I am open minded on everything that people especially minority independent research may show. And of course we should take into account the real facts of what real people are experiencing.
As has been repeated in history time and time again, the truth is often labelled as a lie and people who know truth are mocked at.
I meet people who just don't believe that vaccinations can harm. What upsets me the most are the parents who get information, know that there are quetions to its safety, but have not got the guts to protect their child. One of my friends told me that she was sure it was dangerous but if her child was affected, she preferred take more risk and do the jabs but be able to blame the govenment instead of not vaccinating (even though to her this was the least risk) and risking that if her child got ill people would say it was her fault. The most sad case I know personally is a mother who told me that she know they were dangerous and would affect the immune system of her child and maybe even give the child the disease, but because she was living in an 'at risk' country she got them vaccinated. As a clear result on one medical jab visit, 2 of her 5 kids got Attention Deficit order and a third now cannot walk (that has been shown to be the measles vaccination the most probable cause). It may also show that genetically some families are at more risk than others - but do you want to try it just to find out???
I read in more than one UK newspaper several years ago that when the public demanded more transparency in information of dangers of vaccinations, Tony Blair said he supported vaccination. When asked by the media if his son Leo was vaccinated, he refused to answer..... If you were a supporter and you had vaccinated your child you would say YES OF COURSE!
For those of you who prefer to know, do a little research on laced vaccinations that are provided for those in the world who are least able to protect themselves.
Thanks for the question.
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4Real Forums : Nurturing the Years of Wonder
Topic: Montessori child characteristics
