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kbfsc
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| Posted: Sept 27 2012 at 7:16pm | IP Logged
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Hi friends,
Hoping for a bit of help today. I need encouragement regarding my 6 yo son who is bright and delightful, but not reading at all. I *know* that this is his normal and we're ok! But I am tempted to panic... especially because we are in a co-op situation where he is the youngest among his peers and considerably "behind," particularly with reading.
We have been working steadily, gently, with daily one-on-one and family reading together, outdoor time, math games and manipulatives. I try to integrate his at-home work with the wonderful hands-on science that he has at co-op, so we read about rocks and bugs and all that good stuff. And we make a journal entry after each book. Most of the time he draws something that tickled his fancy from our book, and I write the accompanying words. I'm not having him write much at all. He knows his letter sounds very well; he's just not ready to blend. But I've discovered that our best days are the ones where he has a good chunk of one-on-one time and when I don't even bring the phonics stuff out! I should add that he is mightily persistent and will go to war with anyone about anything in a matter of seconds - so developing good habits and virtues are a major emphasis, too.
So, since I'm trying to to panic! - do you all have any ideas for what I should be doing with him that I'm not? He needs *me*, uninterrupted time with me, and I want him to feel loved and make appropriate progress in his learning. Anything I'm missing?
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Kiera
happy mama of ds '02, dd '03, ds '06, dd '09 and little ones in heaven
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mom2mpr
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| Posted: Sept 27 2012 at 7:38pm | IP Logged
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Relax? My dd, who is almost 10, went through this. Even personality wise, needing her time with just me. It was tough and I prayed a lot. But once I relaxed, had fun with her, and we read, and read and read, and I took her to the library weekly to pick her own books that SHE wanted to read-with me-it got better. Making it all special in a relaxed way for about 6 months she really caught on and started getting it. We went to the library yesterday and she picked some chapter books and is reading them herself. Finally!!
She is an awful speller and I am working a little harder on that but it is easier as she is older and has some confidence with that fact she can read 
For reading "instruction" she just would shut down.
Anyhow, that was my experience and hopefully it can encourage you to enjoy the fun time with your little one. You seem to be trying to relax but also feel that pressure. I totally understand, hang in there.
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Anne, married to dh 16 years!, ds,(97), Little One (02), and dd (02).
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Mimip
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| Posted: Sept 27 2012 at 9:54pm | IP Logged
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I completely understand. Our second daughter really did not read until she was 8 years old and it was very difficult in any situations that we were outside of our own home. We actually did not do co-ops for a few years because she started to feel very "stupid" (her words not mine) compared to the other kids her age. She reads great now and in fact in one school year (the year she turned 8) she increased by 5 grade levels!!!!
My current 6 year old is reading and sounding out blends but we are really working on sight words. Are you on pinterest? If you are, you can search "sight words" and they have some great hands on activities that he won't even know is "phonics work". Maybe if he knows some more sight words it would be easier for him and you.
We work on a few words a week and my son traces them and then writes them using playdoh. We also use magnet letters to write them out. Sight words are also his copy work. Right now we are trying to learn "the" and OH.MY. GOODNESS. it is taking him forever but he is getting it! 
Good luck, I know it is so hard. I have a dear friend who used to say how hard it was to have average kids in the homeschool community. With so many kids ahead of their peers and so many kids with learning issues, those kids that just learn at average speed seem to be behind. 
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In Christ,
Mimi
Wife of 16 years to Tom, Mom of DD'00, DD'02, '04(in heaven) DS'05, DS'08 and DS '12
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Sept 27 2012 at 9:59pm | IP Logged
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The age you learn to read at just isn't that important except in terms of other learning which we can get around quite handily at home.
Do you know that kids that are ahead from starting to read really early and kids that read late.. all pretty much even out at about 4th grade? Yep, all those gotta get the kids reading before kindergarten stuff.. only gives them a bit of a gain until grade 4.. because those that read late will tend to gain reading skill much faster.. and by 4th grade you can't tell which kids read at 4 and which at 8.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: Oct 05 2012 at 5:59am | IP Logged
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I've heard that many times Jodie, even as a classroom teacher, and I know it to be true in most cases.
With my own kids, especially my sons, none of them has started to actually blend well until about 3rd grade and none of them read well until 4th grade. Once they get it, they really get it though and jump to books like Lord of the Rings and Redwall with perfect comprehension. This has happened with 3 of my kids so far and yet, I still worry. My current 3rd grader is just blending well and can read simple books but it took forever to get him there. Thing is, he has known the sounds of the letters since kindergarten and phonics is never difficult for him. I really think it's a developemental thing and my kids just don't have that part of their brain developed til later.
We are blessed to homeschool where we can keep plodding along or let our kids soar, depending on their abilities. I know if my kids were in school I would be getting notes home about how Johnny can't read yet and I need to do something about it!
Not much help I know Kiera, but I wanted to assure you, you are not the only one.
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Becky
Wife to Wes, Mom to 6 wonderful kids on Earth and 4 in Heaven!
Academy Of The Good Shepherd
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kbfsc
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| Posted: Oct 05 2012 at 6:10am | IP Logged
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The encouragement is very helpful! I guess that's a big part of what I need - perspective, encouragement to embrace *his* normal. My others, especially my 9 yo, have read quickly. So this l-o-n-g process is requiring me to adjust, and don't we homeschooling mamas always worry that we're doing things the "right" way? For example, what do I do with him now that he knows his letter sounds well but isn't ready to blend? We keep reading together, absolutely, and I guess just periodically review the letter sounds so he doesn't forget them? I'm also wondering if this child would be happier with a more work book-y approach. I feel this conviction that littles should have a hands-on, outside the box approach - but maybe it's not right for him?!
So, yes, Becky, thank God we homeschool and can wrestle through all of this and find just the right approach for each child and on just the right timeline for *their* normal. And thank God for prayer!! - because we don't have to worry about finding the elusive "right" way of doing things. The Lord will show us the perfect way.
Thanks, friends!!
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Kiera
happy mama of ds '02, dd '03, ds '06, dd '09 and little ones in heaven
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Oct 05 2012 at 10:58am | IP Logged
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Kiera, I do use some workbooks.. for some reason my kids think they're FUN And I found the Explode the Code really helped some of my later readers (they were older but the books work for littles)..
Another thing to consider, while most kids can learn to read with a straight phonics approach.. there is a certain percentage (when I was in college it was 10%) of the population that will not be able to learn to read with that method. I've had one child that had to learn to read by sight rather than phonics. No way no how could she manage to combine the sounds. And she was older.. 8-9 yrs and we still would get individual sounds and she couldn't combine (and she was trying so hard and getting so frustrated) I went to teaching her sight words and at the end of third grade she could barely read the simplest words but by the end of fourth grade she was reading above grade level.
And it was still fun.. we made a game with flashcards and we'd do it for a very short time at first (no getting frustrated) and for sight words we did immediate recognition of the word if possible and then a one try at sounding it out (sometimes getting the first sound was what she needed to recognize the word) and we were done.. if she knew the word she got to hold the card and if not it went to the bottom of the small pile.. the game was over when she was holding all the cards.. which also meant she got to see the cards she didn't know over and over spread out and then closer from the last time which helped her feel good about it because she could remember the word by the end of the game.
You have to build vocabulary with sight reading so it takes longer to start reading (in comparison to a child learning phonics readily) but it's still a method that works.
I'd use words from the dolch sight list, important words for her (like from recipes she wanted to use), and words from some of the little phonics books.. so that she could read a book sooner by having learned all the words in it.
Now he could still easily get phonics and combining words.. this was just something else to keep in mind, not something you need to start.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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4Real Forums : Nurturing the Years of Wonder
Topic: 6 yo non-reader encouragement and ideas
