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dolorsofmary
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| Posted: July 05 2010 at 11:41am | IP Logged
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My husband and I are taken aback after our neighbor did this. I let my son play in our backyard while I did dishes and watched him. He will be 5 in August. I heard my son talk to them but I could not hear them. They are the husband and a worker working in their backyard. One of both of them had apparently asked my son to come over. I heard my son say, "no my Mommy wants me to stay in the backyard'. I praised him for that. We are taken aback over our neighbor, I guess they thought that he would like to get a closer look at what they were doing. They had some blanks of wood. I'm not sure what they were doing. Not sure how to approach this. Please help. Thank you. I have not talked to our neighbor about it. Your take on this one please. Thank you.
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JennGM
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| Posted: July 05 2010 at 5:53pm | IP Logged
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We have rules about not going inside neighbors' houses, but not everyone has these kinds of rules, so they might not realize that they overstepped your boundaries.
The important thing is that your son knows the rules, and stuck to them.
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: July 05 2010 at 6:43pm | IP Logged
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Yes, as far as what to think about the neighbors.. I would simply think that they were being nice to a little boy that was interested in what they were doing.
Those type of rules and boundaries can be different in different communities.
Just like there are some communitites where it would be unacceptable for a child to have a toy gun and be playing in the front yard or up and down the street with neighbor kids.. other places the only thing the neighbors might say is giving the kids a hint on the proper way to hold and point a toy gun 
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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montessori_lori
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| Posted: July 08 2010 at 4:00pm | IP Logged
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I've been thinking a lot about the questions you post here, and it seems that a few guidelines might help you in any or all of the situations that seem to come up:
1. Always assume the best of other people unless you know otherwise
2. Make decisions that are best for your family, regardless of what other people do (or what they think)
3. Relax - you are doing a great job
4. Trust yourself - you know more than you think you do
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Mackfam
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| Posted: July 09 2010 at 10:35am | IP Logged
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montessori_lori wrote:
I've been thinking a lot about the questions you post here, and it seems that a few guidelines might help you in any or all of the situations that seem to come up:
1. Always assume the best of other people unless you know otherwise
2. Make decisions that are best for your family, regardless of what other people do (or what they think)
3. Relax - you are doing a great job
4. Trust yourself - you know more than you think you do
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Lori,
That's great advice! I'm so glad you shared your thoughts!
I've been thinking of you as well, dolors. I'm so grateful that these boards are such a haven of support with kind, caring women that offer ideas and encouragement, and I'm so glad you are here with us! I think you're doing a fantastic job of seeking to raise a wonderful son, but it is a daunting task, I know!!!!!!
Since you have brought a number of parenting issues to us I thought I'd tag onto Lori's kind post and offer some parenting books that I've found to be such a help to me over the years. I find myself revisiting each of them yearly! You'd think I'd know about toddlers by now...but every time a new milestone/challenge/issue rolls around I'm right back to reading again!
** Discipline that Lasts a Lifetime by Ray Guarendi - my all-time-pages-flagged-totally-underlined-opened-and-reopene d-use-it-all-the-time favorite parenting book!
** You're a Better Parent Than You Think by Ray Guarendi - common sense stuff that I need to hear over and over again!
** Back to the Family by Ray Guarendi (This book is on my wishlist, but looks fantastic!)
** Parenting With Grace by Greg Popcak - there's some great practical wisdom here.
** Raise Happy Children, Raise Them Saints by Mary Ann Budnik - I'm just starting this whole series of books, but there have been enough great recommendations for them here that I thought I'd throw them into the mix! (If that link didn't work, just search for Mary Ann Budnik and you'll see all of her fantastic books in this series!)
** Haystack Full of Needles, A Catholic Home Educator's Guide to Socialization by Alice Gunther - I thought of this book because of the challenges you face with decisions on co-ops, boy scouts, and various other activities you encounter. Though much of this book is to inspire you to get involved with your local group, there are some great pointers for involvement that are so helpful to the health of a group's interactions together that I wanted to recommend it to you and your husband.
Have confidence, dolorsofmary! You're doing GREAT!!! Thanks be to God for the graces made available through the beautiful Sacrament of Marriage! Parenting is a tough job!!! My husband and I brainstorm problems and issues together, read from trusted parenting sources, take it to prayer, often take it to confession, and in the end, entrust our children to the Sacred and Immaculate Hearts to make up for all we lack. I hope these book recommendations can help give you and your husband some more tools to work with.  as you navigate parenthood!
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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montessori_lori
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| Posted: July 09 2010 at 9:11pm | IP Logged
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Thank you for those book suggestions, Jen! Very helpful. My sister is about to start homeschooling and I'm sending her to your blog to get some great ideas :)
Parenting is very tough, and homeschooling multiples it. So thankful for great resources like the 4Real board!
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dolorsofmary
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| Posted: July 13 2010 at 1:51pm | IP Logged
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thank you!
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4Real Forums : Nurturing the Years of Wonder
Topic: going to neighbors house
