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jillian
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So dd is gifted and/or accelerated in a few areas--primarily language and verbal areas. Where dh and I run into issues is the "how much to challenge her" and "not challenging her enough". We try to teach through day to day experience but if we don't do some fun challenging things she gets very very irritable and bored. She really doesn't like being read to except at naptime/bedtime. This isn't from a lack of trying to read to her or reading to her when she was younger this is strictly she would prefer to look at the books herself and "read" them. She knows her entire alphabet, the sounds all the letters make, all upper and lowercase letters. She will sound out with me if I guide her. She's 2 1/2. I don't want to burn her out but we need some good challenging game/activities for her.
Please help 
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JennGM
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Jilian, I have a few thoughts. I think I will echo several other members who have advised to not look at this time as advancing education, but as a time of wonder and enjoyment of childhood. Let her enjoy being a young toddler. Even if the toys are "educational", it should all be approached at her interest and her level. Let her enjoy the "work", wonder, creativity, etc.
My youngest is the same age. He's independent, and wants to choose his activities. He loves to read, but in his own time and choosing.
Right now he's going through an intense puzzle stage. I have a little puzzle holder with dozens of different types, and he's pulling them out all day every day this week. It's interesting and pulling him right now (Maria Montessori would refer to this as a sensitive period). He's overjoyed at his success at his work. It's his, not my guidance.
There are all sorts of ways you can help your daughter enjoy this time. The Apologia thread gave some ideas of nature study. I keep saying this, but having the nature books around for her to read is such a wonderful thing! My 2 1/2 can name types of birds that visit feeders, and what he sees in books. he also likes to have names of other animals. It's just a little thing, but nomenclature with proper names is just a pleasing thing to my boys. They are more than "birdies" or "bunnies" or "doggies" but have specific species name.
If you haven't subscribed yet, I highly recommend Mater et Magistra magazine. It's my absolute favorite homeschooling magazine. The latest issue is dedicated completely to teaching the littles, and our Jennifer Mackintosh (Mackfarm) has a wonderful article which capsulizes Montessori in such a perfect way.
Montessori approach is so wonderful at this age, but you don't need to go overboard with materials. Jen touches on that in her article. I don't want to rehash it all, but I just loved it! It really perfectly echoed what I believe about Montessori myself.
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Jennifer G. Miller
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Family in Feast and Feria
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lovebeingamom
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JennGM wrote:
If you haven't subscribed yet, I highly recommend Mater et Magistra magazine. It's my absolute favorite homeschooling magazine. The latest issue is dedicated completely to teaching the littles, and our Jennifer Mackintosh (Mackfarm) has a wonderful article which capsulizes Montessori in such a perfect way.
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What exactly is this magazine about???? I really could not tell from the link.
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Mackfam
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lovebeingamom wrote:
JennGM wrote:
If you haven't subscribed yet, I highly recommend Mater et Magistra magazine. It's my absolute favorite homeschooling magazine. The latest issue is dedicated completely to teaching the littles, and our Jennifer Mackintosh (Mackfarm) has a wonderful article which capsulizes Montessori in such a perfect way.
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What exactly is this magazine about???? I really could not tell from the link. |
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Catholic home education.
(Emphasis mine...)
mater et magistra wrote:
| We will continue to strive to be an independent voice for Catholic homeschooling, that is, the magazine does not espouse one particular style or philosophy of education or support one particular program. It provides a forum for sharing information about all the styles, philosophies, and programs and seeks to support and nurture the hearts and minds not only of our children, but of ourselves, as mothers and teachers. |
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Jen Mackintosh
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Maggie
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Jillian,
I think it is easy to dive in too early. Your dd sounds exactly like mine. We did do "Little Saints" Catholic Preschool with her when she was 3 1/4 years old. She thrived on it.
Before that, we did Slow and Steady, Get Me Ready by June Oberlander. Gentle, yet challenging.
For instance, around 2-2.5 she was going through "Little Boy Blue", the poem, and having to answer basic questions about it. It was pretty neat.
Another cute activity I remember is cutting out comics from the paper (I think we did Family Circus) and having her sequence those.
Other montessori activities were also great...counting beans, scooping, water with dyes, etc...
A lot of going to the pool, play dates, and zoo...fun things that might decrease in frequency as she gets older and more serious about school.
I would be very careful to not advance too early...or burnout could set in early...and you both could miss out on the "joy and wonder" of those early years.
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Wife to dh (12 years) Mama to dd (10) ds (8), dd (1), ds (nb) and to Philip Mary (5/26/09), Lucy Joy (12/6/09), and Margaret Mary (3/6/10) who entered Heaven before we had a chance to hold them.
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SuzanneG
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Hi, Jillian~
Under no circumstances would I strive to "challenge" a two-and-a-half year old. I'd engage her in my daily activities, talk to her constantly, get into good routines and habits (working on SINCERITY, OBEDIENCE, ORDER) and be firm in my discipline. Expose her to new ideas, nature, get outside with her, and basically have fun doing toddler-things. It wouldn't matter to me if she was conjugating french-verbs....I'd STILL do the above things.
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| We try to teach through day to day experience but if we don't do some fun challenging things she gets very very irritable and bored. |
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In our house, irritable toddlers get put in a backpack, in their crib, or removed from the activity.....unless they are hungry or tired....then they get fed or get put to bed.
As far as good, challenging things for the two of you to do....there are lots of ideas in this compilation of threads: Early Learning Resources and Threads
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Suzanne in ID
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violingirl
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I know what you mean about feeling like you need to challenge your toddler. My now almost 5yo knew his alphabet and all the sounds before he was 2, knew all 50 states and how they fit together on a map . . . I really felt like we had to catch up to him, and keep him motivated or he'd lose something. It felt like a huge responsibility and if we didn't take advantage of it we were being bad parents or something.
After listening to wise advice here and doing just a little bit with him, what I've found out is that he's not behind from the periods of time that we did nothing extra, and he's also not necessarily ahead because of the periods of time we did more with him. I did make a decision to have a structured portion of our day, and we use a lot of Montessori concepts for this time. We started out focused on practical life and because he was very interested in letters we also did some language work. Over time we added math work as well.
I have also found that the most valuable lessons my boys have learned have come from the time they have to fill on their own, either the two of them playing together or when they have a quiet time on their own. They have to work together, share, and focus to accomplish what they want to do. It was hard at first for them to learn to play on their own for a bit of quiet time, but that consistent time each day has paid off in big ways in other areas.
I am convinced that it's more valuable to learn about kindness, compassion, obedience, and creativity during these years than it is to know how to read really young or something like that. All of the academic stuff comes later, and it's okay that it does. Teaching academics is a lot easier if your child already obeys with a cheerful heart.
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CrunchyMom
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SuzanneG wrote:
Hi, Jillian~
Under no circumstances would I strive to "challenge" a two-and-a-half year old. I'd engage her in my daily activities, talk to her constantly, get into good routines and habits (working on SINCERITY, OBEDIENCE, ORDER) and be firm in my discipline. Expose her to new ideas, nature, get outside with her, and basically have fun doing toddler-things. It wouldn't matter to me if she was conjugating french-verbs....I'd STILL do the above things.
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| We try to teach through day to day experience but if we don't do some fun challenging things she gets very very irritable and bored. |
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In our house, irritable toddlers get put in a backpack, in their crib, or removed from the activity.....unless they are hungry or tired....then they get fed or get put to bed.
As far as good, challenging things for the two of you to do....there are lots of ideas in this compilation of threads: Early Learning Resources and Threads |
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I think it is also a good age to practice being bored. I wouldn't get into the habit of thinking that she needed to be entertained. I'm sure part of it is temperament, but I hear so many parents who say that their now 5 year old or whatever age can't play alone and is bored and wants them to play with them constantly.
Involving them in your activities when they are around is important--I don't mean to unnaturally force boredom. But I also think that its important for them to learn to "play at your feet" when they want companionship and entertain themselves.
These sorts of things feel SO inactive, especially when its your first child! You so want to DO something. But really, in the long run, the ability to entertain oneself is just as important a skill as the three Rs.
Some Montessori like activities are nice to provide, especially during those trying times like when you are trying to fix dinner or something. But, I'm reminded of the Plato quote, "The most effective education is that a child should play amongst lovely things." Providing an enriching ENVIRONMENT is ideal, but I would worry so much about ACTIVITIES at this age. Play good music, read lots of stories together--if she wants. At that age, my oldest was highly resistant to my trying to read to him. He looked at books CONSTANTLY, but it was pretty shocking as a first time mom to be screamed at for trying to read to my child. Isn't that what you are supposed to do? Now, he would listen to me read all. day. long. And we rely on audio books a good deal to fill that need (though, I have to kick him outside or that's all he'd do!). Once he started to realize there was a "narrative" to follow, he transitioned into a patient listener, but I still think allowing him that time alone with books helped instill his love for them!
I'm just not convinced that flash cards puts a toddler at an advantage any more so than paper towel rolls.
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
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[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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lovebeingamom
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violingirl wrote:
| Teaching academics is a lot easier if your child already obeys with a cheerful heart. |
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OK .... dumb question  ... but I have to put it out there ....
How does one *teach* obeying with a cheerful heart to a 3.5 and 1.5 yo????
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Mackfam
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lovebeingamom wrote:
violingirl wrote:
| Teaching academics is a lot easier if your child already obeys with a cheerful heart. |
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OK .... dumb question ... but I have to put it out there ....
How does one *teach* obeying with a cheerful heart to a 3.5 and 1.5 yo????
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First, model it.
Second, expect it.
Finally, cheerfully require it.
Example: You have just asked your 3 yo (or your 1.5 yo) to tidy the toys in the living room. She melts down and begins throwing a fit.
Go to her, and let her know that she can either pick up the toys herself, or you will help her obey.
If she starts tidying, praise and encourage her..."thank you for obeying so cheerfully! Let's sing a song to help us work"
If she refuses to pick up, take her hand in yours, and *help* her pick up one toy at a time. If the fit escalates, you can say matter-of-factly that she can choose to obey like a big girl by herself, or you will help her obey, but either way, she will obey.
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I tell my kids that they don't have to like everything I ask of them. Liking your job isn't required, but you do have to obey and complete the job as asked with a cheerful attitude. Complaining and griping will result in loss of privilege in our home. I consider what a disservice I am doing for my son, if I send him out into the workforce and he feels he gets to whine and complain about every monotonous job he is given...or my daughter, if she is married and has children of her own and whines and laments every.single.dirty.diaper. The habit training starts here, and its payoff comes in a few years when home education starts! The top three habits Charlotte Mason felt necessary were: attention, obedience, and truthfulness! Think about it, if you have a child with the habit of attention, obedience, and truthfulness - you will be on.top.of.the.world!!!!
Habit training is every day encouragement in virtue/habits, and meeting defiance and challenges with measures that encourage habit/virtue development and natural consequences if necessary. I do try to be sensitive to melt-down prone times and not ask excessively much of the little children at this time - these would be right before any nap or bedtime, or near a meal when they might be crankier.
I might suggest the book, Laying Down the Rails which is really just a compilation of Charlotte Mason's thoughts on habit development, their importance, and practical lists and thoughts on specific habits.
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Jen Mackintosh
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LucyP
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I was thinking of posting something similar, Jillian. Our 3yo daughter is wanting to advance beyond what I am comfortable with for her - she wants to learn her letters and start reading, start "doing numbers", start driving the car, you name it!
What I have decided to start with her, rather than jump in with academics (my ideal would be to hold off on teaching her letters etc until she is at least 4.5) is to let her try some handwork. She is desperate to sew, knit and crochet, and I think some simple sewing and maybe using a knitting fork will be accessible for her. It teaches fine motor skills, dilligence and listening skills - the latter will be very good for her. I am also planning to do some simple charts that she can use to tally her tasks so she is acquiring skills that will relate to numeracy and literacy for later on. I'm hoping these things will stimulate her and get her brain working but not push her into early academics.
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Mackfam
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| Posted: June 23 2010 at 2:28pm | IP Logged
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Hi Jillian! First, welcome to the boards!
I love that you're so sensitive to your dd's needs and are looking for ways to meet her needs! Great job there!
My own thoughts are really echoed by the beautiful thoughts shared here so far. Time to *be* is important for children. It's where the rubber meets the road in terms of exercising the imagination! A child can *be* with mom in the kitchen, or he can *be* out in the sandbox, or he can *be* under a big sheet in the living room with a basket of books. If you tuck your daughter in by your side throughout the day, I think you'll find that there aren't too many holes left to fill up in terms of time with nothing to do.
I'm not a fan of advancing academics in the early years, and here's why:
I've seen my own children blossom early at very young ages. I considered the possibility that my child might be advanced and that I'd need to step up plans to move faster (enter frantic catalog hopping). It was when I really began reading some of Dr. Maria Montessori's ideas about children that the thought occurred to me that my child, while certainly smart, wasn't necessarily greatly advanced in intelligence at 3, but rather, just demonstrating her natural sensitivity to a particular aspect of learning that she was experiencing at that time. This is what Maria Montessori termed "sensitive periods." Since reading and understanding those ideas, and seeing them demonstrated in each of my children over, and over, and over again, I've been able to relax and enjoy the moment a little bit more.
So, certainly encourage her, but don't feel like you have to provide numerous activities to meet the moment. Simplest is best. Encourage her. Spend time with her...doing laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc. Encourage wonder - go outside and ask questions about the bug crawling across the porch without expecting answers. Give her time to just *be*!!!
I loved Erin's expression so much that I had to quote it!
violingirl wrote:
| I am convinced that it's more valuable to learn about kindness, compassion, obedience, and creativity during these years than it is to know how to read really young or something like that. All of the academic stuff comes later, and it's okay that it does. Teaching academics is a lot easier if your child already obeys with a cheerful heart. |
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That is so beautifully said, Erin!
CrunchyMom wrote:
| I'm reminded of the Plato quote, "The most effective education is that a child should play amongst lovely things." Providing an enriching ENVIRONMENT is ideal, but I would worry so much about ACTIVITIES at this age. Play good music, read lots of stories together--if she wants. |
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Sounds perfect!
jillian wrote:
| We try to teach through day to day experience but if we don't do some fun challenging things she gets very very irritable and bored. |
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Irritable toddlers get about the same treatment in our home as it does in Suzanne's:
SuzanneG wrote:
| In our house, irritable toddlers get put in a backpack, in their crib, or removed from the activity.....unless they are hungry or tired....then they get fed or get put to bed. |
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...and boredom is fine! It's not a dirty word! In fact, it's sometimes the push to creativity that a child needs! If I have a child complaining about being bored (which only happens once here) - they get a chore.
Be careful about feeling like you have to always provide something fun and challenging. Trouble is waiting down the road...because what Lindsay says here is true:
CrunchyMom wrote:
| I wouldn't get into the habit of thinking that she needed to be entertained. I'm sure part of it is temperament, but I hear so many parents who say that their now 5 year old or whatever age can't play alone and is bored and wants them to play with them constantly. |
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Start training in good habits right now, as Erin wisely points out! It is exponentially easier to train in good habits from the start than to have to work backwards and undo a bad habit you've allowed to develop and direct a child's behavior. Ask me how I know!
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Jen Mackintosh
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Wildflowers and Marbles
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jillian
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Please don't think I am talking about drilling or giving her worksheets or anything lol. More what I am talking about in terms of challenging is more like this example:
DD is in gymnastics. Some of the skills she can't do easily but I always encourage her to try something new and challenging--i.e. she's not a big fan of swinging on the bars because her hands are small but I encourage her to try it at least once (or one station) so she can be challenged and see that with help she can do it.
Also to clear up, I hope it didn't sound like I was entertaining her every minute of the day--she has LOTS of free play with educational activities and just fun activities/toys. I provide lots of paper, crayons, markers (only used with supervision or I would be cleaning markers off the walls). She has blocks, a play kitchen, books, etc that she can do whatever she likes with as long as she isn't going to damage herself/someone else/stuff around the house (i.e. the tv, etc). She also can roam everywhere in the upstairs by herself (except the bathroom).
I appreciate the input everyone :) She has lots of play with me opportunities and lots of play alone time.
I give her some choices of toys/activities to do, i.e. coloring, chalk bored, blocks, etc and go about what chores have to get done or take a coffee break or whatever. So she's not always right near me or needing me for playing.
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JodieLyn
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Sounds like you're doing just fine and are needlessly worrying.
The only thing you didn't mention much was having her working with you on chores.. not always or everything.. but it can be a fun thing for her to "help".. and certainly won't hurt as she gets older 
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jillian
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She loves to help with chores, loves to help me make the bed, sweep, put toys away and help me with the silverware from the dishwasher.
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JennGM
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JodieLyn wrote:
Sounds like you're doing just fine and are needlessly worrying.
The only thing you didn't mention much was having her working with you on chores.. not always or everything.. but it can be a fun thing for her to "help".. and certainly won't hurt as she gets older |
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This is the part of Montessori that is easily translated in the home. My 2 1/2 right now loves to shadow me, help me sort and fold and put away clothes especially.
I love that it helps me have a different perspective -- to see his joy at recognizing the clothes, who wears them, sorting them with such gusto makes me relook at my own task as a labor of love and joy.
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to & ds1 '03 & ds2 '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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4Real Forums : Nurturing the Years of Wonder
Topic: yet ANOTHER early childhood question
