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Subject Topic: what if the child is an extrovert? Post ReplyPost New Topic
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dolorsofmary
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Posted: June 04 2010 at 9:18pm | IP Logged Quote dolorsofmary

this is a tweak of my extracurricular question, please bare with me

Someone articulated to me (on this forum or perhaps another) that there is a difference between activities that teach the child about what his body can do - like gymnastics, dance, etc. as opposed to team sports that might emphasize more about how to be a team player. I liked that distinction and it gave me pause.

My son is very extroverted. So hmmm.... it gives me pause. He is an only. He will be 5 in August. He loves to run and move and he never met an activity he didn't like. He wants friends friends friends. Playdates are few and far between. He's cousins live at least 2 hours away and we are older and transplants and we livein the NE USA so its hard. We do have some playdates but not that many really.

So hmmm.. when I think about activities. I love all the advice I received. but I failed to mention that he is an extrovert in the prior thread.

How does that change your thoughts on activities please?

So like we go by season

we can only afford 1 activity per season and all it amounts to is 1 activity a week, that is all

So in the summer it is swimming and only swimming

In the fall (there's the rub) it could be karate, basketball at our parish, soccer or dance (that is ballet/tap) with a smattering of rollerskating since that is the only homeschool activity (so he doesn't fall down so much) in our area

in the winter hmm somehting close to home, either soccer or dance since they are at the same facility about 2 minutes away

in the spring hmmm I guess dance or soccer.

music is something we listen to at home and we have the entire 'making music praying twice' curriculum so that's ok at least until he can sit still and learn to read music

Your take on the extrovertedness. I think he might have a talent in drama actually. We'll see. I don't have him in drama class but we do micro feast day plays throughout the year in our home.

Thankyou!
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JodieLyn
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Posted: June 04 2010 at 10:26pm | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

Even individual sports or activities like dance.. involve being around other people..

You have plenty plenty plenty of time to do team sports as well as the others.

And honestly, it may be helpful to do the individual things for an extrovert so that they're paying attention to what they're doing rather than "visiting".

I had to tell the swim teacher my oldest had when she was 7 or 8 or so.. that she wasn't afraid of swimming across the deep water.. she was stopping in the middle with the teacher to chat. Soon as the teacher told her no talking and to keep going.. she was swimming across with no stopping

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guitarnan
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Posted: June 04 2010 at 10:49pm | IP Logged Quote guitarnan

My dd is 110% extrovert. She knew very early on that dance was her passion. Not all children are like that, though, and I suggest you let your son try various things as time and finances permit.

If you ask him if he wants to do things he will say "yes!" to everything, so you and your husband should discuss schedules, finances, etc. first.

It sounds as though fall offers the most choices, and you might want to try a team activity then since there are more team/group things available then. (I'm considering skating a group thing.) Trying soccer, rollerskating or basketball will help your son learn team sportsmanship and how to work in a group under a coach (helpful for drama later on!).

My extrovert can be falling-down tired and grumpy at home, but as soon as she's with her compadres at the dance studio she is a different person. Extroverts recharge in group situations. That doesn't mean the group activities have to be sports - it can be anything. Play dates, CCD, whatever. It's the group part that matters. (My extrovert husband is the same.)

This means that you have to think about two things when planning activities - authentic group experiences (sports, performance, whatever) AND recharge time for your son. He definitely needs time with other people to recharge his emotional batteries.

So, were I you (and we've been transplants more than once, so I understand that part), I would work toward a few playdates per month/semester plus one group activity a week. I would also hit the local park when possible so he can run around and interact with other children. This does not have to be scheduled or planned.

If you aren't an extrovert, planning all this can be exhausting for you...your recharge time will disappear in favor of your son's. Please allow me to suggest that you work with your husband to find a few hours here and there for your personal recharge time if you are an introvert. A couple of hours of total silence will work wonders.

Recharging your extrovert child does not mean you have to spend lots of money and time on organized events. It does mean you need to find groups to be in, here and there, and you need to recognize that his needs might diverge from yours. It can work, without too much stress. (I am an introvert, in case you have not guessed!)

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dolorsofmary
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Posted: June 05 2010 at 8:38am | IP Logged Quote dolorsofmary

My condolences for the mom who is introverted and has an extroverted child. That must be hard. I fortunately am extroverted like my son. But I just am new at all of this and being the youngest in my family and the youngest of my cousins I am just going by bump. Thank you!
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