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Becky Parker
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My 2 1/2 yo ds is not talking yet. He tries very hard to communicate but can't seem to form the words. This causes great frustration for everyone. My concern is that the pediatrician is very concerned about this and wants him in speech therapy. I would rather not get involved with that yet. So, I'm wondering what your opinions/experiences are with slow to talk kids. My preference is to wait a while longer and maybe try to help him, using the Signing Time DVD's, but I don't want to make a mistake of not getting him the therapy he needs.
Any thoughts?
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Mary's daughter
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Becky,
My 3 year old started speech this year. He was not talking at his 2 year check and the ped said we could start speech therapy or not. We decided to give him another year and he still was not talking. The signing time videos helped with the frustration factor for both us and him. I'd say it is more your preference as to whether to start or not.
The first thing the speech therapist worked on with him was the alphabet letter names (as opposed to the sounds). So we had him learn the names of each letter. Once he understood his mouth could say all these letters, he started saying a lot. That is something you could start with your child if you feel the need to "do something".
I have to say, the therapist expects more from him than I would have expected him to do at his age. It has been enlightening!
God Bless,
Stephanie
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stellamaris
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Becky, I have had two of my children need speech therapy at early ages for entirely different reasons. It was overall a positive experience. I'll share more, but for now I'm wondering why you "would rather not get involved with that now"? Is it the impact on your schedule? Or are you hoping your child will grow out of the need for help in the next year or so? Just trying to understand your concerns first before I reply. 
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Caroline
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Becky Parker
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Thanks Stephanie!
My 5yo was talking to the 2 yo and teaching him how to spell his name. The 5yo would say "M ... say M" and the 2 yo would try very hard to say it, sometimes coming very close. I think I'll pull out some letter flash cards and give it a try.
In your opinion, did the Signing Time dvd's cause your child to be lazy about learning to talk? My oldest ds voiced his concern with this and it go me thinking...
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Mary's daughter
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Becky,
I think the signing time videos helped. In my opinion, the sign language served as a bridge to understanding words and speech. We never stopped encouraging him to talk, we used the sign to better understand him. I do not think the videos made him lazy about learning to talk. If your child has articulation disorders, his tongue and lips may not know what to do. He may be unable to talk as opposed to just not doing yet. The signs just help with communicating needs and ideas until he's able to do it with his mouth. We had less temper tantrums when he started using sign.
I agree with Caroline in that the therapy has been a positive experience.
God Bless,
Stephanie
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cvbmom
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Becky Parker wrote:
My 2 1/2 yo ds is not talking yet. He tries very hard to communicate but can't seem to form the words. This causes great frustration for everyone. My concern is that the pediatrician is very concerned about this and wants him in speech therapy. I would rather not get involved with that yet. So, I'm wondering what your opinions/experiences are with slow to talk kids. My preference is to wait a while longer and maybe try to help him, using the Signing Time DVD's, but I don't want to make a mistake of not getting him the therapy he needs.
Any thoughts? |
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We did this (no therapy, Signing Time) for our now almost 4 year old son. He has caught up and doing just fine now. When he was 2 1/2, his 1 1/2 year old sister talked WAYYY better than he did, and that continued until about 6 months ago. They're both speaking full sentences clearly and easily. He was around 3ish when his talking started to take off. If you have any more specific questions, let me know :)
God bless,
Christine
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Becky Parker
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Thanks for your thoughts and advice everyone! Caroline, the reasons why I would like to avoid the speech therapy, for now, are exactly as you mentioned. The time commitment is secondary, although it does play into it. I'm really just hoping he will outgrow it. When this ds was 9 mos, he was diagnosed with failure to thrive. This diagnosis came from the pediatrician after I refused to ween him "cold turkey" and give him pediasure instead. He finally outgrew his ftt when we discovered, through the advice of a naturopath, that he has gluten allergies and the gluten I was eating was affecting him. The doctor wouldn't accept that without a biopsy, but the truth is he is strong and healthy now and gluten affects him terriby, even at 2 1/2 years. Anyway, that's a totally different subject but I wanted to explain that I'm not totally convinced he really needs the therapy yet. (I don't fully trust the pediatrician on matters like this anymore.) I was hoping that if we could try a few things here at home, by his next doctor's visit, at 3 years, he would be talking more and she would let it go. At 3 years, if he's still not made progress, I would consider putting him in therapy.
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joann10
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One of my older kids had NO speech at 2 1/2 and we had his hearing tested. When this came back normal we worked with him and after awhile (by about 4) his speech was totally caught up to where it was supposed to be.
My doctor stressed the importance of checking hearing when there is a speech delay.
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JodieLyn
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I don't generally put a small child into speech therapy, I much prefer to let them develop at their own pace. Barring physical problems (such as hearing or palate etc) it can be *normal* for some kids to not talk until 3 or even 4.
But there is one thing that would concern me here. The fact that he's struggling and that it's bothering him. That may just be his personality, but that's why I would start to seriously consider it.
I totally understand not wanting the therapy.
So, if you want to wait, I would also suggest along with the signing times to quickly improve communication.
The Letter Factory dvd from leapfrog is wonderful for teaching letter names and sounds and the little ones like to watch it. And I would consider getting Straight Talk Which teaches you, the parent, enough to help your child with speech issues without having to go to therapy.
But on the flip side with older kids I have had one that needed a boost on her R's and another that stopped progression in gaining sounds and definately needed therapy and we did both private and through the schools with her and it's been very positive.
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stellamaris
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Quote:
| Anyway, that's a totally different subject but I wanted to explain that I'm not totally convinced he really needs the therapy yet. |
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I'm not sure it's a totally different subject, Becky, in that the early delay may also have delayed his speech. Given the various problems we have struggled with here, I would do two things now if I were you: 1)have his hearing checked and make sure that is fine, and 2)carefully inspect his mouth to be sure he is not tongue-tied. Also, if he has cute pudgy cheeks which he is not growing out of, that can indicate poor muscle tone and he may need some work to develop the muscles in his cheeks, throat, and mouth.
Some other ideas here:
***any kind of blowing (like painting with straws, blowing out candles, blowing bubbles)
***any kind of sucking up a straw, especially heavier liquids such as milkshakes. If he can't use a straw by 3, he could have either muscle issues or his palate could be failing to close off in the back of his mouth.
***chewing more difficult foods such as meat, hard cheeses, celery, or apples (not hard to chew, but require some strength to bite)
***copying you saying words that focus on a particular sound. For example, you say "map" and he repeats, then you can reward him with an M&M. You might see how this goes, and then move on to words with "m" at the end (pom), and finally "m" in the middle "pumping" or "camel".
***you can make up easy games to practice individual sounds. Draw out a simple game board, make cards with pictures beginning with the sound you are working on (I'd use just beginning sounds until he's older), then roll the dice and on each turn have him draw a card and try to say the word. He moves ahead no matter what.
***be aware that different sounds "come in" at different ages, so focus on the earlier sounds first.
This article gives a general overview of which sounds are learned at which ages. I'm sure there are other on-line resources, but I'm pressed for time. I also think there was a thread on speech development on the forum that you might search for.
***language and speech are two separate areas you need to be concerned about. Language would involve developing vocabulary, being able to retrieve words, and being able to use words in the proper context. Expressive language disorders are treated differently than physical speech disorders (articulation difficulties). My oldest ds had articulation problems; he had a fabulous vocabulary, but only I could understand him. One of my twins has motor processing problems and also some kind of word retrieval difficulty. He had to work to strengthen the muscles of the mouth and throat, and also for a long time would be very repetitive in his speech. He tends to use quotes to express himself, sort of like a person speaking a foreign language might use stock phrases as a kind of crutch. He was at least 4 before we discovered that the reason we had never heard him say "mommy" was because he had trouble making the "m" sound. When I told him, "Son, you can't make the "m" sound!", he replied, "Well, no, I can't." So he was aware of the difficulty. Following that we worked on it together, and he can make that sound now. Another ds is often incomprehensible to me, but after evaluation by a speech therapist, we found he was clearly making every sound, even those that were developmentally more advanced than his age...he just speaks super-fast! So each child is different, and you will need to observe the nature of the problems your ds is dealing with in order to be sure to get him the proper help. This might be something to work on over the next few months. Take notes of any difficulty eating, swallowing, or making sounds. Also note if he copies songs, can repeat sounds or phrases, or has other distinctive aspects to his vocalization, such as very high-pitched, very nasal, very soft or loud. All of this will be helpful to a speech therapist if you end up needing to go that route.
Finally, I want to add to this already-too-long post, that reading to him, singing simple, repetitive songs to and with him, trying to encourage healthy food, and playing outside to strengthen his overall health will all benefit his development and his speech
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Caroline
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julia s.
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Becky,
I think you've been given great advice so far. I just wanted to add my experience with speech therapy. My two older children both started speech a young ages. And both were a wonderful experience.
My second child has/had apraxia problems. When you said he is struggling to communicate that is what kind of raised a small signal. My son had very large cheeks as a baby and toddler (I found out later it was poor muscle tone) but even with that he reversed or mixed his sounds so that when he made a word (and he was actually quite chatty even if none of us understood) it came out wrong. When your son makes sounds for words do you hear clear beginning consonant sounds that represent the word being spoken (like a MMM for mom or B-B-B for ball). The problem is with some speech problems like apraxia how much time they get practicing word formations affects long term clarity. My son was in therapy for 4.5 years. After that his adult teeth were coming in at such a high pace as to make any speech difficult anyway and he was getting tired of the therapy so we decided to let him go and just work privately until he is older if we thought it necessary. But the therapy was wonderful and helped him so much and he isn't any more difficult to understand than other children his age.
However, raising a family of slow talkers my oldest son was just a perfectionist and wouldn't say anything unless he thought it would come out perfect. The therapist had some wonderful strategies for overcoming this and by his third birthday he was dismissed and was doing great. And I do think the therapy quickened something that would have taken him a lot longer to get through on his own or with my help.
I just want to say I think waiting is fine, time is a gift and not rushing him is good. Just don't completely dismiss it out of hand even if you don't trust your pediatrician.
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mooreboyz
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Hi Becky,
I just wanted to add a little from my experience. My now 5 year old didn't speak hardly at all until about 3 1/2. At his 2 year appt the Dr advised we start speech therapy. DH and I got pretty worked up and scared as he was our 4th son and we didn't feel there was any issue, and thought maybe we had overlooked something...you start blaming yourself. We got the forms to complete and as I started looking through all the questions which seemed to want to label him with autism or add or something that would stick in his file that he had something "wrong" I got even more upset. My son was extremely bright, was great at puzzles already, loved playing music, and totally understood everything anyone said to him. He just seemed to not want to speak. I started researching and came across the Einstein Syndrome. There isn't a lot out there about it; but, as I researched it perfectly fit our situation. I'd advise you check out the book by Thomas Sowell called The Einstein Syndrome if you think this might fit your child before you proceed with therapy. Over time we did focus efforts on making him watch us make sounds and then copying it; but, I think it really came down to him just wanting to speak. When he was ready and it became important to him to communicate with others, he did. He's just fine now at 5. I'd also like to add that these kids generally do the same thing with toilet training and my son waited until the day he turned 5 and then that was it...weird, frustrating, but shows how every child is truly unique.
Good luck to you and take care!
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Becky Parker
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Thank you for the resource suggestions Jodie. I think the Leap Frog DVD would make a good Christmas gift. I'm also going to talk to my dh about the Straight Talk materials!
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Becky
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Becky Parker
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Thank you everyone for your replies to my question. The positive remarks about speech therapy are encouraging. If he needs therapy I trust it will work out peacefully.
I also appreciate the comments about children who began talking more at 3 or 4. My dd was like that. Her ped (a different one) was not concerned and said we should wait until she's 3. Almost on the dot, she started talking (and we tease her, lovingly, that she never stopped!  )
My concern with this ds is that he tries to talk, but it just doesn't come out right, which is different than my experience with my dd.
Caroline, I will print your suggestions so I can go through them all slowly!
He doesn't have chubby cheeks, but when he was first born the nurse thought he was tongue tied. Later, the verdict came back that he wasn't, but I don't know what made her think he was in the first place.
We haven't had his hearing checked, but if I say something like "put the truck on the floor" (a simple direction) he will do it. He also tries to say what he hears others saying, which leads me to believe he can hear okay.
I think we'll start on learning the letters, as was suggested. I have Montessori tactile letter cards which might be a good place to start? I'm just not clear on whether to teach him the letter names, or is it the sounds ... or both together?
Our neighbor (a sweet lady) is a retired speech therapist. I have to admit I've been reluctant to ask her about it because she is very apposed to homeschooling. She's very kind, like a grandmother to the kids, but has told me on a few occasions that she thinks I am doing them a disservice by keeping them from school. Maybe I just need to get over my discomfort and ask her to listen to him and see what she thinks.
Sorry about all the questions! You've all been so helpful and have given me lots to think about! As Jackie mentioned, I find I blame myself when my kids struggle with something like this, as though I've done something wrong. Really though, I think he's okay, we just have to work with him a little more in this area, or, as suggested, get him into speech therapy.
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Mary's daughter
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Becky,
We started with the letter names ("M" not "mmmm"). I used as alphabet puzzle and held up the letter. He would say it and then get to put the piece in the correct spot. He got to put the letter back even if he didn't say it correctly.
Good luck with everything.
Stephanie
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MrsM
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My ds was not speaking at all, not even babbling, at age 2. We decided to start the process to have him evaluated, and he's been in speech therapy since August. The biggest difference I see in him is that he is now attempting to speak, and we can understand most of what he is trying to say. I think others would not be able to interpret his speech at this point. But he really wants to communicate, and has such an engaging little personality.
To my surprise, he absolutely loves speech therapy, both here and at the therapist's office. Originally I was not at all excited about the prospect, but I have to admit it's been great because it's taught me what to do at home. The therapy itself is only 45 minutes/week, and of course that's not nearly enough time to bring about any miracles. What does work is taking what I see her doing, and setting aside time to do the same sorts of things with him every day. Ninety-five percent of what she/we do is play-centered, so naturally it's a lot of fun for him.
In his case, I don't believe he would have started speaking anytime soon without intervention. You can see it's really hard for him to form sounds and words--actual work. He just didn't have the tools, and with 4 other kids and two adults to attend to his every need, he didn't have a lot of incentive to try and talk. 
So that's my experience. I hope you are able to find what you need for your dear little one. 
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Topic: speech delay?
