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Maggie
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| Posted: Oct 13 2008 at 10:57am | IP Logged
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Hi everyone,
I don't know if it is the mood I am in...or the fact that my two children were sick all last week...and we traveled this weekend while I was sick...and am still sick.
I am currently using Little Saints for my 3.5 yo. I did it 2 days last week...but didn't want to.
I don't want to do it today...or tomorrow. I am so overwhelmed with my house and parenting. THough, I feel bad saying that as I only have two children (3.5 and 16 mos).
I know my husband is going to be concerned about Mary "falling behind" her schooled counterparts who ALL attend preschool...and have the most marvelous things to say about it. I just know my dd would not thrive there..she would probably like it, but in the end, the conformity of it all would squash her little spirit and creativity--even if it drives me nuts.
I know...I'm a first time homeschooler with young kids. Overzealous, I know.
Has anyone ever been in this situation? I don't want to be told to stop...I'm not really looking for that...just some moms to empathize and share how they worked through this, too.
God Bless,
Maggie
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SuzanneG
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| Posted: Oct 13 2008 at 11:12am | IP Logged
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Oh, Maggie....I have much to say about this....but it will have to wait....
When my oldest was 3.5, I had a 2 yo, and a 6 month old....so I know what you're feeling.
Do NOT do any Little Saints today......but do some of this instead.....
**sit on the floor and play with your 2 dc
**go for a walk
**sit outside and hold your 16 month old, while your 3 yo plays
**count something
**put on music, sing or dance and be silly
**say some nursery rhymes
**make dinner
**read just one book
**look at a few family pictures
Just have a bit of fun, and get maybe one or two things accomplished with the house. That's it. It always takes several days (if not a week) to recover from travel OR illness, and you've had BOTH!
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Suzanne in ID
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happymama
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| Posted: Oct 13 2008 at 11:30am | IP Logged
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Maggie, I struggle every day with trying to balance school and housework. Have you read Real Learning? It's such a great book on living a lifestyle of joy and education. The two should go hand-in-hand.
Maybe if your dh is the one concerned, sit down with him sometime and draw up some general "goals" for your oldest child. Many state education boards post these on their websites, if you want to compare to that. I know that many parents these days are concerned that their children will be behind if they do not go to pre-school. Despite not believing this yourself, the point is for your dh to trust in the value of teaching them yourselves.
And take a few days off!!!
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Mackfam
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| Posted: Oct 13 2008 at 11:45am | IP Logged
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Maggie - I too wish I could spend the time needed on your question...but I've got a couple of challenging little people myself. One's napping and the other is drawing on the dry erase board so I'll take a stab for a minute...
First, your two are challenging ages, don't feel bad. My youngest two are 3.5 and 7 months. Little people need a lot of attention, but what I've found is that attention does not equal structure.
I use Little Saints, but not in the way it is intended. I use it more as a reference for myself. I might pull picture book themes from it, or craft ideas. Or not. I've found a lot more relaxation using the Serendipity site for ideas. We just focus on a letter a week. I pull picture books off the shelf for him with that letter in it. I might have a craft for him or a special food. It's gentle and it is punctuated with laundry, cooking, housekeeping, walks, and lessons with the older children. Which brings me to my next point...
Don't feel like you have to cram all of your preschool day in before lunch. Maybe read a book, then let the kids play while you tend to a chore (preschoolers LOVE helping with chores - perhaps working that more into the day will be beneficial to you and them). Then, play a game together, and afterwards you make lunch. Then, maybe a craft after lunch and another book...
I'm echoing Suzanne here - after sickness, major errands, life disruptions, travel of any kind - we do not even attempt lessons of any kind for at least a day or two. It's a recipe for disaster and chaos because nothing gets done well.
Give yourself permission to step back and re-evaluate how you use Little Saints. Call it a Fall Break if you need to. Do you like the program, but find it missing flexibility to relax? Do you feel pressured to complete every activity? Do you enjoy the format? What ways can you tweak it to fit your family and the challenging ages of your kids?
These are not first time homeschooler questions, Maggie. Nor are they overzealous questions. You're doing great! These are questions from a mother with a heart sensitive enough to her family, her children's needs, and the reality of her home to sense that something isn't quite fitting - something needs to change. You are the best person for that job! Take a break, and go spend some time snuggling and reading and playing with the kids in the back yard. Go on a nature walk through your garden in the front of your house. Do some of the things on Suzanne's list. Solutions will come to you.  Sending prayers your way, Maggie.
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Jen Mackintosh
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: Oct 13 2008 at 2:57pm | IP Logged
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Hi Maggie, you are doing great and meaningful work!
Many moms don't do any "formal" schooling in the preschool years - I'm one - focusing on my vocation, learning how to be an excellent mother and wife. Many dads want a formal education for their children, starting at preschool. What helped me was to talk with my dh about our differing expectations and experiences to come up with a doable plan. For example, many dads really want their children doing math every day and may even volunteer to do the math each day with their children. Many moms feel that reading great books to their young children each day covers "language arts." Different families find different solutions, the key is to pray and work together, understanding that each of you wants what is best for your children yet it take time to discern that details of what makes up "best."
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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NavyMom
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| Posted: Oct 13 2008 at 4:39pm | IP Logged
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Maggie,
As you know I sent both my kids to preschool at different times, for different reasons. Let me just say that even with that "break" I still struggled. I think you know that. You are at a tough stage and being a mom is no easy job. Homeschooling is not easy, but it does give you freedom and in that freedom YOU decide when and how you are going to do school. We have some weeks where we are on fire and other weeks where the TV is on more than I care to admit. We have schooled in the car, in the library, in Starbucks, at the park, and at 7:00 at night. I do think structure is important at a young age, but so if flexibility. Relax and enjoy your kids and where you are at. You WILL look back and miss this stage. People told me that and it was hard to believe but it is so true. There are still days that if I can do a load of laundry and keep up with the dishes it is "a good day".
I wish we were still neighbors so we could meet and talk about some of these issues in person.
For what it is worth, it has gotten easier in many ways with my kids now being 6 and 4. But the housekeeping issues are still there and there are new challenges with the kids.
Take care.
Love Heidi
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folklaur
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| Posted: Oct 13 2008 at 4:48pm | IP Logged
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Oh, hugs.
Little Saints is just so parent-intensive. It looks great in the book, but it was just so much work for a few minute activity. I had to put it aside.
How about, if you need a "curriculum" to appease DH, you look into Before 5 in a Row? Would that work better? (I never used that, I have only used FIAR.)
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Meredith
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Maggie, you have been given some great advice already by all these wonderful ladies who have chimed in so I'll try not to repeat them. I am on my 4th preschooler this year (and possibly my last  ) and he is my most challenging preschooler yet. That being said, I am working on some things with him that seem to be working and it is making it much more enjoyable for both of us!
Begin your day with a poem, prayer or song together, sitting on the floor facing each other. (This can be one that you pull from your Little Saints).
Have a *new* activity for just her each day that you place in a special activity bag or box, she could even decorate a special tote bag that you will fill for her daily or weekly depending on how often you want to *do school* with her. By activity I mean:
- a small felt board with figures such as farm animals, noah's ark or the creation story
- lacing cards or simple stitching activities with a yarn needle, fabric and embroidery hoop
items to sort by color, size or shape
*This list could go on and on, but you need less to do than more, right!
I have to agree that Little Saints can be a bit intense, especially for one child, but I LOVE using all the great printbles and felt ideas to make up my own activities, kind of like a springboard to further learning.
Prayers for a smoother week ahead and don't despair, some weeks are just like this, and they too will pass 
Many blessings in your journey,
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Meredith
Mom of 4 Sweeties
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: Oct 13 2008 at 10:04pm | IP Logged
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3.5 and 16 months? Those are the absolute toughest ages, at least to me, as far as getting things done without going insane. Little ones wear me out!
It does get better. Really, it does.
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
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Rachel May
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When we did Little Saints, I got pregnant so wretchedly ill for 14 weeks and my husband deployed mid-year. I had to cycle down, so I focused most on just reading the books together and talking. We would repeat the games that I had already made, and I would make a point to tell my husband what insights the kids had made or what I had discussed with them.
And I'll echo Theresa: It does get better. Really, it does.
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Rachel
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10 Bright Stars
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Maggie,
Well, I would first say, RELAX. You aren't going to mess up your 3.5 year old by NOT doing preschool; indefinately. Remember "pre-school" means just that, BEFORE school, not school before school. That is just what business preschools who do it for a living do to keep kids busy.
Having said that, I too was a very overzealous, new homeschooler. I was SO desperate to begin and do everything that I had read in the homeschool books, magazines etc (not as many cool forums "back then") that I really did introduce workbooks and school-ish activities WAY too soon. Looking back now, with 8 children in tow and my oldest being almost 14, how I wish I could recapture those days or FREEDOM and just PLAY with them and take nature walks, and read good books and hold on to those little kids that are now GONE FOREVER!! Yes, my children are still here, but they are BIG and almost 14, and 12. I love THESE kids just as dearly, but oh how I would LOVE to chase the 3 year old Bobby, or cuddle with the 2 year old David, or just laugh with the 1 year old Noah. See what I mean??? These little darlings will grow up soon enough and you will miss all this opportunity for loving them and just "being" with them before they are lost to the sands of time! Don't worry about school!! Just be a mom and let them work along beside you with folding clothes, or doing dishes. Take a walk with them and stop and watch an ant or a bee busy at work together. Read good books during the day and a comforting bedtime story at night. Do fun school stuff, like making homemade playdough, bubbles, crafts etc and do a little math if you just can't help it!
As for your spouse, I am sure his worries are well-intentioned, but nothing replaces the loving affection of an attentive and HAPPY mother. Your kids don't care about school. They don't even know what it is! They care about Mommy wanting them around and not shooing them away because you get stressed trying to do school, or if you are anything like I used to be, worrying about "what" school to do with them, (i.e countless hours reading about homeschooling and researching it rather than actually BEING with them. )HA! I laugh just thinking back at it all!!!!
So, hold them close and just have fun making memories, establishing good relationships with them and routines, and make sure you have good discipline in place. Something as simple as having them sort (the 3.5 year old) spoons and forks while you unload the dishwasher into the silverware drawer, and encouraging them to do the task correctly and finishing it is just as good as doing a math page where they match similiar items on a page in my opinion.
Anyway, just have fun. Soon enough you will be more frazzled than you know with more kids most likely and have REAL school that you HAVE to do whether you want to or not. I would soak up these days like a vacation and not feel guilty in the slightest!!!!!!
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Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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Lara Sauer
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| Posted: Oct 14 2008 at 3:09pm | IP Logged
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Dear Maggie,
I am in my 11th year of homeschooling. My oldest son is 16, and my youngest will be born in about 2 weeks, God willing (!) and there are 6 other children in between them...I tell you this only to show you where I've been, where I am, and where I'll be for a good long while.
In all of my eleven years of homeschooling, I HAVE NEVER DONE ANY TYPE OF FORMAL PRE-SCHOOL EDUCATION WITH MY CHILDREN. I begin schooling my children only when they have turned 5-1/2 or 6 years old and we start with kindergarten.
(I make an exception only for religious instruction, so they are 7 when they make their First Confession and First Holy Communion.).
I believe that for little ones who are your children's age...play should be the main form of "education" they receive...singing, dancing, building blocks, swinging on swings, scribbling on paper, sitting down in Mom's lap with good picture books...
You, too, as the mother, deserve this time to simply enjoy being your children's MOMMY! Play with them, kiss them, tickle them, love them...go to the park on a whim with a picnic lunch, just because it is a beautiful day!
Real learning takes place in many, many ways.
Good luck.
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You can take the girl out of Wisconsin, but you can't take the Wisconsin out of the girl!
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ALmom
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| Posted: Oct 14 2008 at 6:51pm | IP Logged
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It sounds like you are torn between what you think your husband wants and what you feel and the stress of keeping all happy. There is a lot here to think about. It might help a lot though to sit down with your husband and just hash out exactly what the "goals" are for pre-school. If you have loose goals for each day, then you are free to use whatever you see that works - Little Angel Preschool or some seizing the opportunities of the moment with relaxed learning.
We have not done formal schooling before the state requires it - closer to 7 or 8, but it is important to keep on the same page as your husband, and if he wants something, he must have some idea of exactly what he thinks is important. It is important that you are able to talk to him about being free to adjust to the needs and gifts of the individual child and work with things that work for both while still meeting goals you have both set together.
I used Little Angels preschool book and personally I felt there was quite a bit of twaddle in there - but also some neat ideas and patterns. The poetry and the finger games were the best part with a few other ideas. A lot of the books on the 5 senses were really silly and were better addressed with a nature walk and actually smelling the rose.
In thinking about pre-school, it seems to me that the biggest goal is living the liturgical year and fostering love of God, helping the children settle into a routine, (this certainly is done with a variety of things from chores, to outside time, to prayer time to specific reading and craft times, music and art), develop gross and fine motor coordination (it is just as important to go skipping through the woods and walk along the curb - you'd be surprised at how much eye development occurs there - and you cannot learn to read without eye development. The fine motor includes the cutting, coloring, painting drawing, gluing, stringing beads/macaroni into patterns, ... or you could do eye droppers, use of tools in food preparation, puzzles), exploration (texture, color, warmth, cold and this can be done with things already set up in stations and with running through the grass barefoot or crawling through the carpet acting like an animal, or finger painting, or baking, or....). Maybe some number awareness but it can happen very, very naturally. There were some counting books in the Little Angels Preschool that were fun to read - but you also learn one to one setting the table, talking about the leaves you collected, matching napkins to plates to forks.
I'm sure you can use a lot of Little Angels Preschool as a gentle guide and as long as you have been able to communicate to your husband about his real expectations, you may find that you both agree to a very loose use of the book and an account of the day to him later (ie we read this, look at the painting they made for you, etc.). I would think a loose goal - we want to accomplish these things x days per week. It is hard to say since it is extremely important that you and your husband agree on what you are doing and I suspect with a bit of time sitting down with a heart to heart talk, you could come up with a great plan that gives you some freedom.
Janet
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KellyJ
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| Posted: Oct 14 2008 at 8:40pm | IP Logged
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Maggie, cut yourself some slack. As you've heard from others, Little Saints is parent-intensive. It is easiest when you have the time to dedicate to preparing the materials. Right now, we use it chiefly for the booklists and use Rod and Staff workbooks alongside it. You don't even need to be doing that much! Sending hugs and prayers your way on those overwhelming days!
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NicKatMommy
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| Posted: Oct 16 2008 at 11:05pm | IP Logged
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Hi Maggie, I am in the same boat! I have a 3 1/2 y.o. son and an 18 m.o. daughter and we started Little Saints this Fall. My plan has been to follow the weekly themes by working on some lessons on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons (I figured next year we could incorporate a third day and pick up whatever lessons we didn't do this year). The first couple of weeks went well, then the combination of outside obligations and lack of preparation got me a little off track and now it feels a little overwhelming to get back into the routine. So I appreciate the advice given by the others here.
Although I'm not getting to all the projects listed, I am trying to pick out books from the weekly list to read to my son, and point out real-life examples of whatever the weeks topic is. Gook luck to us both - while I don't have much advice, I hope it helps you to know someone else is experiencing the same thing ... it's helped me!
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Maggie
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| Posted: Oct 21 2008 at 9:10pm | IP Logged
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Thank you all for your invaluable insight and advice.
My husband is now "teaching" 1/3 lessons per week...and is helping me with relaxing my own standards. I am the type of person that thinks she has to do EVERYTHING the curriculum says...or "my child will miss something integral...like a leaf rubbing...and she'll never have another opportunity to do this again!" 
Thank you all so much. I need to relax and enjoy. Please pray for me.
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ALmom
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| Posted: Oct 28 2008 at 7:27pm | IP Logged
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Happy to hear that things are better. We all need these kinds of reminders now and again. I think it is especially common at major changes - ie first starting "schooling" entering formal elementary, entering middle school and entering high school.
I burnt myself out on field trips in my early days of homeschooling. It took another 10 years before I ever went on another.
Janet
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helene
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| Posted: Oct 28 2008 at 8:42pm | IP Logged
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Late chiming in, but I second everyone's good advice. I always tell people my hardest time in many ways was when I had "only" two kids- toddlers, 12 mo. apart. When you have no olders, or even somewhat olders...YOU'RE IT! You're the entertainer. They look to you all day for their needs AND play. Nothing wrong with that. But its exhausting. Its much easier to have even someone as young as a 5 y.o. to help ring lead some games and activities so you can do the breakfast dishes. Try to be easy on yourself at this time. Preschool should be magical and fun. Lots of good reading aloud. Nobody needs to take the SAT this year.
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4Real Forums : Nurturing the Years of Wonder
Topic: Overwhelmed with Preschool
