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myblessings
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| Posted: June 06 2008 at 9:08pm | IP Logged
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Here is my issue. I have a 21-month-old that is constantly into everything. I mean everything. It is particularly frustrating when i want to sit down with my 3 1/2 year old and 5 year old to do painting/reading/writing/puzzles. If i give him something to paint/read/write he destroys it. So we either don't do these activities or i spend the whole time trying to keep him out of trouble. He sleeps in arms (  but that is the only way to get him to sleep more than 20 minutes) for naps, so it is out of the question to do those activities during his naptime.
I am not sure if i am looking for advice or just commiseration  How do you homeschooling mamas with crazy busy toddlers do it? This was my main concern in deciding to homeschool, i just don't know how to do it all while keeping the little guy from destroying the house or harming himself.
Help!
Erin
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: June 06 2008 at 9:40pm | IP Logged
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have you considered some sort of carrier (maybe back carrier like the ergo) so that you can hold him and be hands free?
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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montessori_lori
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One solution would be to set up some activities in a room with a gate, so that he could preoccupy himself while you're working with the others.
A more long-term solution would be to do some sleep training so that he naps in his room. That's hard, I know, but it would be so worth it, even if it involved some crying and fussing at first.
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myblessings
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| Posted: June 06 2008 at 11:23pm | IP Logged
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He doesn't like carriers anymore unless i am walking. He flails and writhes until i either walk briskly or get him out.
He also defies gates. He started climbing anything and everything when he was 13 months and hasn't looked back. He has ridiculously good problem solving skills in that department.
We tried some mild sleep training a few months ago which didn't really work. He would fall asleep and then still wake up after twenty minutes and then rage until i came and got him. And that was before he could climb out of his crib.
I am making him sound like a terror, but he really isn't, just an intensely energetic fellow. Only problem is that his physical capabilities far exceed his logic and reason. My other two weren't like this in the slightest. Am i just going to have to wait him out for his brain to catch up with his physical abilities? Is there any way to channel this energy so i can work with my other kiddos?
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Tina
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| Posted: June 07 2008 at 12:09am | IP Logged
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I have some similar issues with my son who turns 2 in July. He's my first boy, so maybe it's a boy thing, but he climbs like crazy, runs REALLY fast and just seems rougher than my girls. Our livingroom and schoolroom (supposed to be a dining room) are adjoined. That's where we do most of our schooling. We block him in there with us. We don't use gates, though. We use a toybox/bookcase combo to block the one doorway, and an opened portable crib to block the other. Not ideal, but necessary for now. This past year started out ok, but he became wild by the end. I know now that teaching my other children with him in the house will require planning, so here's what I have in mind for the Fall.
1. I plan to have several bags of activities that he can do independently. They will be things he can only have during school time. And I will rotate them, so he doesn't get bored. I am actually doing this as a toddler/preschool bag exchange with friends, so we each only make 20 of the same activity, then trade them for a variety of activities.
2. I will give him some time first thing in the morning snuggling and reading together, and doing Montessori activities that I store up high, to hopefully cut back on his need to be in the center of things the whole time I'm trying to teach. (Although, I'm ok with holding him when I can because I also don't want him to feel unwanted).
3. When only working with 1 child, other children can play with him and occupy him for a set period of time (this we actually do now).
4. An occasional video is ok with me (if he'll sit and watch it and it's not too distracting to the older children).
I'm not recommending this, but my husband's cousin's little girl was so wild, her mother would use 2 gates, one on top of the other to "cage" her daughter into the playroom! That's a bit extreme, but she was desperate, because she said the little girl didn't sleep.
My son will sleep in his crib, but only if I've rocked him to sleep. (I need the sleep training for him, too).
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montessori_lori
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In some ways, you are just going to have to wait until he enters another stage (i.e. is more willing to sit an be engaged with an activity). Keep introducing interesting toddler work, and perhaps you'll hit on something that actually keeps him occupied for awhile.
ETA: My sister's little boy is this age, and quite energetic, but he drops everything to play with play-doh. That's like the one thing he'll do for any length of time.
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julia s.
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Erin,
I think what Tina said sums up mostly what I am going to do this fall with my son. Here is some other thoughts so you don't make yourself crazy.
It is true not all children require a nap even at a young age. My oldest didn't take long naps (no longer than 15-20 mins. 2-3 times a day) from about 4 months on and it was more exhausting trying to get him to take naps and we were both happier when I finally saw the light and just let him be (he was about 18 mons. at this point).
My latest bundle of energy will nap, but while he is up I have to kid proof everything. So if I am not watching him he can't hurt himself or my furniture. By this I mean every lower drawer and cabinet only has things he will be safe with since he out maneuvered the safety locks long ago. I've even put locks on the inside of closets so I can lock some doors completely.
Mostly my advise is to go with the flow. If trying to do a quiet time school with your olders is causing you to become unreasonably frustrated and angry then just back off for a few months. Your attitude is more of a teaching lesson than any subject you're teaching. Give your little guy extra attention and have the girls do work that can be done either by listening to tapes or more hands on where the little guy can be involved. Nature walks are good. And workbooks although maybe not the best for long term might fill this niche for the short-term.
Pick a battle at time too. If you want him to respect your read aloud time then make that the area you'll discipline in for a week or so. Explain to the olders that until he cooperates story time will be interrupted more than usual, but hopefully he'll be able to join you quietly or play quietly in the end. I find the older kids understand and as long as they are getting some consistent attention of their own are willing to roll with the punches for awhile. And they might have some good ideas for him also so get their advice.
Well I hope that helps some. I have to go see what my bundle of energy is up to.
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julia
married to love of her life
with ds12 ds8 ds3 and ds1
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Mackfam
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| Posted: June 07 2008 at 10:29am | IP Logged
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myblessings wrote:
| Only problem is that his physical capabilities far exceed his logic and reason. My other two weren't like this in the slightest. Am i just going to have to wait him out for his brain to catch up with his physical abilities? Is there any way to channel this energy so i can work with my other kiddos? |
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The short answer is, yes. It will just be a little while before his reasoning abilities and his ability to completely understand the "if you do "x", then I will do "x" sort of action and consequence statement catch up to his ability to climb/destroy/explore/participate. A lot of re-direction and safe play zones are your friend for a while.
The long answer is like the advice you've already been given.
Lots and lots and lots of unrestricted free play time OUTSIDE!!! Boys especially need a lot of time to wear themselves out - they just have an unbelievable amount of physical energy. A tired boy is a happy boy.  I allow way more scaling of and jumping on the couch and bed than I did with my other children. This freaks my mom out to no end. But, I can only keep up with so much and my current 3yo really needs that sort of outlet. If we can't get outside for the day - there has to be some sort of physical activity going on - and it's usually jumping on my bed. (BTW - just a thought here - that may be part of your napping issue - you might just need to give him a chance to wear himself out a little more - then he'll sleep! )
I alluded to it before, but pick your battles. I'd start with the sleep issues. You're just going to have to work on some consequences for getting up during quiet time (these are prudential decision made by each family - so no advice on what to do, just decide with your dh and stick to it. )
You've got the summer to work on how your house is laid out. I'd spend it taking a really close look at each room. Older children's work and books go up high on shelves attached to the walls in our home (to eliminate climbing on the shelves,) and my toddler's work and toys are kept on lower shelves. I work really, really, really hard emphasizing putting away after we're done with something - not everywhere - just in the learning room. The toy room is another matter and usually only gets tidied once a week. But, the mess must stay in the toy room (within reason - if they want to bring out all the Playmobil firetruck stuff to play with and a few cars, that's fine, but it has be put away back in the toy room as soon as they move on to something else.)
I keep a nice supply of ready made activities down low for my toddler - Montessori style. So, trays with scoop and sorts, lacing activities, our "toy" drill with bolts and screwdriver set, Magnatiles, a few puzzles, you know - age appropriate things, but attractive to him. Then, the key to keeping his interest on these shelves and not straying elsewhere is to rotate activities on and off the shelf at the first hint of boredom/mis-use/destruction. I have a toddler with 8 hands and spider-man like climbing abilities. It's just a challenge.
During school hours, I do much of what the other ladies have already described to you. I invest my time heavily at the beginning of the year setting up and reinforcing good habits - the use of working on his own mat or blanket, never interrupting other's work, never touching other's work without permission. That's a lot to expect of a 21 month old though, so at that age, I did a lot of the touch sensitive work during naps. Sorry.
My little guy really loves to sit and snuggle and read. If I miss our snuggly reading time, he will act out horrifically. I have to constantly re-direct myself to accomodate his real needs to have mommy present to him.
Don't know if any of this helps, Erin. But, I certainly can commiserate with you!
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Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
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myblessings
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Thank you all for the suggestions! Glad to know that i am not the only one with such a spirited toddler!
He likes to nap, he just likes to do it in my arms. I usually lay my daughter (5) and other son (3) down for "rest time" and i hold him in a recliner. He'll sleep for an hour and a half or two if i do it this way, but if i try to lay him down, all bets are off. I am flattered that he likes me so much  . I have tried to "train" him but he seems to really need this snuggle time during the day, so i have resigned myself to this. I figure it is God's way of trying to cultivate patience in an extremely impatient person.
Are there any of you whose toddler wasn't really interested in "toys"? He can play with laundry baskets for a half and hour but isn't really interested in things that are designed for children. Any specific ideas on things to entertain a child like this?
Our learning room is out of order right now because we are moving at the end of the month. Although we aren't sure where to yet (my dh lost his job at the beginning of April) so i have no idea what our new environment will be like.
We love outside time! We live about 10 minutes from a national forest, so full of life and lots of things to learn. I think that might have to be a focal point of our educating until he gets a little older and can sit for a little bit at a time.
Thanks again for all the insight and suggestions. This has been my major doubt about being able to homeschool and i feel more confident reading that other people are able to do it!
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JodieLyn
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You know I've been thinking about this.. because mostly everything you've written that are "problems" are what I consider "normal" here.. I've only had one child out of 7 so far that would be considered a fairly calm and directable child as a toddler. Once most of them get past about 5 or so it's much much easier.
Which is when it hit me. Part of how I've dealt with it is that I don't start trying to do much in the way of directed activity with the kids under 5. Oh we do things just things like painting are done outside with water colors and old clothes (or no clothes on the littlest) and lots of energy from me.. but other than controlling the chaos I'm not directing much.
So in my case.. my 3.5 yr old would be playing with the 21 mo old.. so that both of them would be better occupied while I worked with the 5 yr old.
So for some things especially if you want one on one attention you can have the older two alternate playing with the little one.
You could also try working outside.. so that the little one isn't confined to a room.. and outside time just is wonderful for those busy ones.. cars and trucks in the dirt, a small climbing structure.. girls love using the play dishes outside with dirt and mud.. balls and ride on toys and all those fun things.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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teachingmyown
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My toddlers rarely played with toys. My current 2yr old is a girl, but she would rival any boy in the wild department!
I will echo a few things. Give him time, preferably outside first. It should help lighten the intensity of his energy. Hans-on stuff, like play-dough or some sort of sand table might work. My little one likes to paint with water colors. I strip her down and put her in the highchair. She also loves to scribble so we give her used up workbooks.
None of these things work for long, or every time. I think variety and child-proofing are your only hope! I am a push-over on the sleep thing too, but mine will nap most days. Even if she screams, I will live her at least for a while. I need that time. I am getting too old for this!
Good luck!
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myblessings
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JodieLyn wrote:
| You know I've been thinking about this.. because mostly everything you've written that are "problems" are what I consider "normal" here.. I've only had one child out of 7 so far that would be considered a fairly calm and directable child as a toddler. Once most of them get past about 5 or so it's much much easier. |
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And i think this is probably it. Just a matter of perspective. My daughter and older son, once they turned 13 or 14 months, were relatively easily redirected, not prone to adventure or get into trouble. I didn't really have to put things i didn't want them to touch out of reach, because they didn't really mess with them. But this little one is not like that at all. He is curious and determined to get his hands on anything and everything. This will make him really exciting to homeschool, i doubt we'll ever run out of things to explore
In practice, i am sure most of the "schooling" will be directed toward my 5-year-old, but my 3 1/2-year-old keeps telling me he "wants to do school, too" so i am anticipating doing some little workbooks with him, also. But i am sure he will be available to play with my 21 month old most of the time.
Thanks again for all the wonderful ideas. I feel so blessed to have found this community!
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4Real Forums : Nurturing the Years of Wonder
Topic: how to preoccupy high-energy toddler
