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stellamaris
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I just finished reading Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids by Kim John Payne. I wish I had read this book 20 years ago! It reinforces and supports all those intuitions you have as a parent to simplify your environment and life-style. Mr. Payne is a Waldorf consultant, so he has a very Waldorf approach. However, this book would be helpful for any parents wanting to build stronger relationships with their children.
This book challenged me to focus more directly and intensely on how environmental factors impact our family. Right now, I am working on the first part of the book: simplifying my home by reducing material "stuff". Fewer and simpler is my motto! I'll see how I do!
While the book doesn't directly address homeschooling, it does apply to our efforts to educate. I am realizing that "Less is More" even in a learning situation. For instance, wouldn't it be better to focus on ONE saint or feast day for a few weeks and really develop familiarity with that, as opposed to trying to celebrate every feast day every year and feeling just frantic and rushed? My most successful learning experiences have been those times when we focused on ONE book or topic and went through it VERY SLOWLY and simply, instead of piling up tons of books on the subject (my tendency!  ).
Our culture is so rushed, stressed, and achievement-oriented that I found this book to be a great anti-dote and support for a simpler, more wholesome life.
This book also is helpful for those of us working through Abby Sasscer's Simplifying Your Domestic Church. These two books reinforce and complement one another. Abby's book provides the spiritual foundation and some practical pointers, while Mr. Payne's book gives research, implementation ideas, and further discusses the impact of simplification on the entire family dynamic.
Anyone else trying to walk the "path" of simplicity? What are you doing and how is it working? What struggles are you having, especially at this season of the year?
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Caroline
Wife to  dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
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SeaStar
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Caroline-
This appeals to me greatly. I am going to get both those books...
I have been constantly decluttering for years, it seems, and more "clutter" always shows up.
How does this simplicity look in your schoolroom?
My dc are still young, and so we have a lot of Montessori tray-type material out, but I notice that my ds (7) is not so much interested in them anymore.
I wonder if I would do better to have less out so the room would be calmer overall.
And the idea of focusing one at a time on things, instead of racing to fit everything in, also speaks to me. I posted today about our Jesse Tree, and how it feels like one more thing...
I feel like we do well as far as not being overcrowded on our schedule of outside activities... it's all the inside stuff that wears me down.
Why is it so hard to let go... or maybe the question should be: why do I always feel like we need more, more, more...
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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Sarah M
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stellamaris wrote:
| Anyone else trying to walk the "path" of simplicity? What are you doing and how is it working? What struggles are you having, especially at this season of the year? |
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Me! I just blogged about this very thing-- it's really on my heart and mind these days. I think I need to get my hands on that book- that's the third time I've heard it mentioned in the last 24 hours!
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stellamaris
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SeaStar wrote:
Caroline-
This appeals to me greatly. I am going to get both those books...
I have been constantly decluttering for years, it seems, and more "clutter" always shows up.
How does this simplicity look in your schoolroom?
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Ummm, well, , like I said we are in the process of this simplification! We moved to a much smaller house, and left most of our toys and even school items at our home in Virginia. I am finding that even though we have LOTS less stuff, it's still too much! And you are right...more keeps coming in all the time...mostly because I am bringing it in.
I set up an art center with an entire assortment of clay, paints, markers, etc.,etc. and now I find my children are not using it...too much stuff. They can't pick it up or manage it well. So I am thinking about boxing up quite a few of the options and rotating them.
We are down to two sets of good clothes per child for Sundays and two pairs of jeans and a few shirts per child for weekdays.
The biggest problem for me is the school material...to simplify does not mean to get rid of everything. So, I'm trying to use more library resources for books, CD's and videos. I'm also constantly reminding myself to do LESS more thoroughly. We just spent about two weeks on a book entitled Caves that was about 20 pages long. Just one or two pages a day, then a drawing in the lesson book. I'm amazed at how much they remember, because it was introduced slowly and reviewed every day.
I can't answer the Why? question...I am struggling with this myself. Seems I just start getting a little bit of my life simplified and then I have to take on some new, complicated project. I'm wondering if it is a form of greed...constantly indulging my passion for more, or my pride to be "doing it all"? Or perhaps it is "lust of the eyes"..wanting things we see that we think will benefit our children, like books, toys, etc. Come to think of it, I wonder if Eve had the same temptation...it (whatever item we are yearning for) will make you (or your children) wiser, more beautiful, more special and wonderful in some way... Maybe some other moms have insights here. But the meditations in Abby's book are at least getting me to think about this area in light of the Gospel. I often think about how little our Lady had, and she was content.
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In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
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stellamaris
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Great blog post, Sarah! You will love the book! Trust your instincts in this area...they are so right on target!
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In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
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SeaStar
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stellamaris wrote:
| Great blog post, Sarah! You will love the book! Trust your instincts in this area...they are so right on target! |
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Yes, very well said! 
I have to laugh (at myself) as just today I was looking at the enormous stack of Christmas picture books I have brought home from the library and thinking... hmmm, maybe I could have made do with less.
I think my need to constantly bring things in is the idea that they will benefit my dc in some way. Maybe some art supply will bring to light some hidden talent, maybe some dvd will become their forever favorite (while at the same time being highly educational  ), etc... bleah.
So I have a supply closet stuffed with stuff that *might* be "the thing" to change our lives forever.
I have already begun thinking of my "word" for the coming year... I think this next year my phrase will be " just use it ". All the stickers I have, all the fabric, all the resources I *already have at home*- all the things I am saving (for who knows what), I am going to start using up. That alone ought to clear out clutter 
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
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KackyK
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This does sound like a great read...but life is crazy around 
will I get to it? HA!
It's definitely on my hope-I-get-that-Amazon-gift-card-first-thing-to-buy list!
I pared down the Advent books from years past. And even still we don't get to all of them. They seem to just really enjoy (even the youngers) the longer chapter each day Advent books as opposed to a couple of new Advent theme picture books each day. That is much more simple!
And Melinda I am right there with you with the supply closet. I tried to get rid of a lot of supplies recently. We had a little "crafting" party with my teen and her friends...I let them have at it! I think I need to do that another 5 times for it to really make a dent! But at least they had fun, made some nice things and I didn't feel like I wasted them by just letting them sit or thrown away!
Definitely a good theme for the new year!!
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Mom to 8 - 3 dd, 5ds & 4 babes in heaven
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SeaStar
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I just put the first book in my Amazon cart (just so it can sit there and mature until I can buy it. It is a new release and so harder to get through ILL. Of course, my library doesn't have it 
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
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Sarah M
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SeaStar wrote:
| I just put the first book in my Amazon cart (just so it can sit there and mature until I can buy it.) |
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I did that too!
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Pamin OZ
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I bought this for myself and I am loving it. It's preaching to the converted (well, the theory side,anyhow!) but I wanted to have a book that expressed what I thought- but much better than I ever could.
I have boxed up our picture books and kept out about a quarter of what we had out before and I know it is still too much. I'm trying to deal with toys etc as well. Trouble is, I'm a minimalist stuck inside a "maximalist" body. (In more ways than one, sadly!)
One thought from the book that I am chewing over: how can they love something if they have too many like items to choose from? One or two dolls you can love. But six? seven? more!?
I am planning to sit down and think very soon about how this impacts our schooling. We use Sonlight and that is such a banquet of materials. I am going to try to weed out books that we haven't loved in the past and be more free to leave out some. ( I will try anyway, this is hard for me.)
I thought it would be a short, simple read but it's not. It's not heavy, heavy but there is enough in there to chew over. If I am wise, I will try to make changes slowly.
Looking forward to others reading it, too.
Pam
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SeaStar
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Pam,
Thanks for adding these thoughts. I really MUST get this book!
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
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stellamaris
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Quote:
| If I am wise, I will try to make changes slowly. |
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I'm planning on going back through the book slowly, beginning with simplifying my environment. Yesterday, we went through the little boys's room here and sorted out a few things. I know it is better to do this when the children are not there, but no opportunity for that at this point. So, something is better than nothing.
We kept a bucket of Legos, some dress-up items, a stable with horses, and a few Matchbox cars and helicopters in their room. I would like to get a book display rack so the books are easily visible and easy to pick up, but right now we have a basket of about 10 books in their room. The next job in there is to sort through the clothes. The room is so small with the three of them in it that we really can only keep a few items for each boy.
I'm also thinking I'll go over the school shelves one shelf at a time after the holidays are over...I know that this will be so hard...I have lots of great books and I don't know exactly how I will decide which ones to keep and which ones to either store or sell.
I hope to get them used to fewer things up here, and then we can begin working on the bigger house in VA...lots more stuff there! Plus the bane of my existence...DVD's and videos! Everywhere, and not in their cases...yikes!
Meanwhile, I am slowly working on my dresser, one drawer at a time.
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In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
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Paula in MN
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I requested this from my library...that way I don't add to my book clutter. 
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Paula
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SeaStar
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My neighbor bought me a copy! 
We are dog sitting over Christmas for them, and one day last week I was telling her about the book, so she bought it for me as an early thank you. I was so surprised (and thankful).
I am well into the first chapter... wow, there is a lot to ponder in this.
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
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Erin
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Stellamaris wrote:
| Plus the bane of my existence...DVD's and videos! Everywhere, and not in their cases...yikes! |
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Caroline
Not wanting to sidetrack, but a small house useful tip, dh bought big zipped cases (4 per sheet) and our DVDs are slotted in. (Like what your computer CDs go in) We've stored away the empty cases, a friend was brave and tossed them. We have three; children's, older children and adults.
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SeaStar
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Would there be any interest in some of us going through this book together chapter by chapter in the new year? Maybe start January 15th...sharing ideas like Erin's and discussing different points and how to apply them?
Just an idea... there was something similar to this last year for the CM Laying Down the Rails book.
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
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Sarah M
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SeaStar wrote:
Would there be any interest in some of us going through this book together chapter by chapter in the new year? Maybe start January 15th...sharing ideas like Erin's and discussing different points and how to apply them?
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Count me in!
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Marcia
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me.....maybe we'd need to start another thread...but it sure would help me stay on track. and follow through with any plans I make.
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Marcia
Mom to six and wife to one
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Erin
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I'm in
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Mimip
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Just got to this thread.
COUNT ME IN!!!!!!!!!
I had a mini breakdown on Thursday when my daughter was walking out the door to her ballet recital and could not find her ballet bag. I walked into the room and literally started to sob The room was a disaster. I had spent the day packing boxes to ship presents and the older two were playing with the younger two and had destroyed the room. It was at that exact moment that I realized that my children:
A. Have too much stuff, that is about to get compounded in a week with more Christmas stuff!!!!!!
B. I have completely slacked off with their habit training. I NEED to get back on top of this.
I am so in on a book discussion on Simplicity.
OH and on a side note: Friday I spent the evening in the girls room cleaning and filtering which ended up yielding:
4 garbage bags full of clothes to give away, 3 bags of garbage and 2 boxes full of books( that do not belong in thier rooms)
Now on to the rest of the house!
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In Christ,
Mimi
Wife of 16 years to Tom, Mom of DD'00, DD'02, '04(in heaven) DS'05, DS'08 and DS '12
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4Real Forums : Philosophy of Education
Topic: Simplicity Parenting
