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onemoretracy
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| Posted: March 03 2007 at 10:13am | IP Logged
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I don't know how, but I missed when this forum first opened and then the board was closed down for Lent....so here I am now!
We have 5 kids and we adopted our youngest almost one year ago from China. She was just 8.5 mo. at the time.
We have had an amazing year. Mary Clare brings joy to our home and indeed to everyone she meets. She is full of coy smiles and soulful stares.
We have not yet encountered any adoption related issues with her development. She is not talking so much, but hey she is only 19 months! She does have a some words but she is very very stubborn sometimes and chooses to tantrum rather than use them sometimes. I am not concerned about speech at this point. My mother however brings it up almost every time we talk  That drives me nuts.
The biggest issue (not really an issue exactly) is fielding questions from the public. I knew that we would be a 'visible family' as our social worker calls it, but it is tiring. We had some experience bc our 4 other kids are all very close in age and we have a set of twins so we were already a walking side show  There are endless questions about our family size, the adoption, my fertility status etc...
I try to face each encounter with the mind that this is an opportunity given to us by God to share positively our family and our gifts from God, but I still get weary of it. I hope over the years I will be get better about this. IRL I am a pretty private person.
I thrilled for this forum to discuss adoption with like minded ladies. TY Elizabteh and Helen!!
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Tracy
DH Lee
DS Jake-10
DS Ryan-9
DS Luke-6
DD Laine-6
DD Mary Clare-3
DD Sara (Dec.6 '08)
My Blog
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Essy
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| Posted: March 03 2007 at 1:41pm | IP Logged
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We are a very 'visible family' too...lol and got lots of questions in the beginning...but it does get easier...either people got used to us, or I'm getting used to them...either way, it's ok.
I actually find it interesting now when people find out the the kids were adopted and they react with surprise...lol...my DH and I are European (Portuguese), my dd is Asian (Vietnamese) and my ds is bi-racial(African American and possibly Hispanic)...but they insist that dd looks like me and ds like dh...lol. I just smile.
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Wife to Roy since Sept 1985
Mom to Sarah(May 2002)and Christian (August 2003)
Praying In the Moment
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onemoretracy
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| Posted: March 04 2007 at 9:13am | IP Logged
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Essy wrote:
| I actually find it interesting now when people find out the the kids were adopted and they react with surprise...lol...my DH and I are European (Portuguese), my dd is Asian (Vietnamese) and my ds is bi-racial(African American and possibly Hispanic)...but they insist that dd looks like me and ds like dh...lol. I just smile. |
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Yes, even family says MC looks more like me than any of the other kids  I am part Italian.
__________________
Tracy
DH Lee
DS Jake-10
DS Ryan-9
DS Luke-6
DD Laine-6
DD Mary Clare-3
DD Sara (Dec.6 '08)
My Blog
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Sharon B.
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| Posted: April 10 2007 at 5:31pm | IP Logged
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I have actually visited your blog and was really impressed with your experience in China. Also, I thought your adoption agency looked wonderful. We have adopted through the public system, four children ages 16, 15, 8 and 6 1/2.
Like you I am trying to discern whether we are to have "one more" (although we never seem to stop!) and I believe that God has more planned for us.  In the meantime, I try to raise well the four we have!
I'll pray that you are able to discern the Lord's call for your family. I am looking forward to sharing with you, Helen, Elizabeth and all the other moms on this forum regarding family and adoption. Thank you for your inspiration.
Sharon
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onemoretracy
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| Posted: April 19 2007 at 8:52pm | IP Logged
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Dear Sharon,
I just now am seeing your kind post. Thank you for your prayers. This discernment thing is still ongoing.
I would love to hear more about your experience in adoption. How is the whole teen thing going? I have not had the opportunity to discuss the teen years w/ another adoptive mom.
Great to 'meet' you!
__________________
Tracy
DH Lee
DS Jake-10
DS Ryan-9
DS Luke-6
DD Laine-6
DD Mary Clare-3
DD Sara (Dec.6 '08)
My Blog
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Sharon B.
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| Posted: April 20 2007 at 8:45am | IP Logged
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Tracy,
I was just at your blog recently and heard about your husband's recent "scare". I am sorry and hope that you're both doing well now.
I think that situations like that make you question whether you should be "looking" for another child. My mother always tells me there is a difference between being open and actually "looking for it" and in our case that would mean applying somewhere or what have you. We've had a few incidents too, not quite as scary, but my oldest son has a heart valve defect that will require open heart surgery and we have no idea when. Also, my 8 year old daughter is what I like to refer to as "high-maintenance". Fortunately, she is not RAD, but she does have some attachment issues among other things which make her "high-maintenance". Hence, the reason my mother says, be open to it, but don't go out looking for it. I am just praying that God makes it clear.
Also, my husband and I were foster/adoptive parents. Some of our foster children were reunited with their families. The three oldest of our children are a sibling group and have an even older sister who will be 18 in November. Two weeks ago, she called and asked if she could move in with us when she turns 18. Is this the child God had planned for me? My husband says, "Uh, not exactly a 'child'!" Also, one of our last foster children was going thru some things earlier this year. We thought perhaps she might be returning. Like you said, its ongoing. In our case, we really don't need to be looking for it. Somehow, "it" finds us.
With regard to your question about teens and adoption, I have to say that mine are really very good about it. I have always explained where they are from, when they were old enough to understand about it, I tried to be factual about the family situation they came from, and make it something they could be proud of. It's not secretive (not that yours could be  ) and they like to share about it. They have done class projects on the subject. My situation may not be the norm but I am pleased with how it has gone. I also think that because they have known about the family situation they were taken from, they frown upon classmates who are making bad choices regarding drugs, smoking, peer pressure, etc. I hope/pray that continues. That doesn't mean we don't have ordinary teen issues. But they are ordinary and things that birth teens are experiencing all around them.
Let me know how your discernment is going.
Sharon (I am new and haven't figured out how to set a signature, etc.  )
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