Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Diane
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Posted: Feb 08 2007 at 11:36am | IP Logged Quote Diane

I would like to know how others deal with the behavior of your adc taking food without asking, that is, raiding the cupboards and eating large amounts of sweets that were being saved for the family, hoarding the empty wrappers up in her room, knowing she'll get caught. Is there a way of confronting this, or is it just inevitable, other than totally eliminating the snacks from your home?

I hate to make food any more of an issue than it is for this kid (she was basically hungry for the first 7yrs of her life), but I don't think I should ignore it either. I'm at a loss as to how to deal with this. Not a major issue but frustrating nonetheless.

Thanks for any insights you can offer.

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Carole N.
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Posted: Feb 08 2007 at 11:54am | IP Logged Quote Carole N.

We have this same problem. He raids the cabinets and always goes for the sweets--tea cookies, candy. And he leaves the wrappers behind the piano, the old victorla or up in his room. It is very frustrating! But he still eats a hugh meal (more than his dad).

I haven't really found a solution. I just limit the amount of sweets that I keep in the house. It is easier to notice if something is missing when there are less item in the cabinet to go missing. And I also try to make a healthy snack for after school.

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lapazfarm
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Posted: Feb 08 2007 at 12:32pm | IP Logged Quote lapazfarm

I have no experience with this myself, but one thing I have heard works is letting your child have a "stash" of food (healthy but tasty) in his room, in the cupboard, in the fridge, wherever he wants, that is all his that he can access at any time, no questions asked. This eliminates the need for stealing and gradually the child learns that lack of food will never be an issue for him. But it takes time.

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humanaevitae
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Posted: Feb 08 2007 at 2:24pm | IP Logged Quote humanaevitae

This can also be a normal issue to work through. I have a few who steal food even though they get plenty to eat and only have to ask to have a snack. Candy of course gets taken but also fruit, cereal, sugar, and syrup. It drives me crazy!

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Helen
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Posted: Feb 08 2007 at 9:40pm | IP Logged Quote Helen

Carole N. wrote:
And he leaves the wrappers behind the piano, the old victorla or up in his room.


Yes, and in the bathroom cabinets!

I hope this comes out right, but this really put a smile on my face today. Carole, after reading this post, I decided that I was going to look upon discarded wrappers as a sign of our little "club."

This is one of those items that I write down in my notebook
"needs addressing"




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Carole N.
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Posted: Feb 09 2007 at 10:36am | IP Logged Quote Carole N.

Helen, I am glad that it brought a smile to your face. After all, sometimes we need to laugh in order to deal with the changes brought about by these children. They can be so loving and special, yet they can turn around and be so mean and hateful. It is definitely a roller coaster ride for the family!

I wanted to let you know that your posts on RAD children have been very wonderful. I am printing them out and placing them in a special notebook for inspiration. Perhaps I will place a discarded wrapper on the front. It makes me smile to think about it.
I will go to these spots when I think to myself, "this is not the life I am susposed to be leading." How often have I want to start a post with that title!

But of course, only God knows what that life is susposed to be. My dh keeps praying and hoping that we are healing this child, but in the middle of the battle (discarded wrappers being the smaller part of the battle), you feel as though you are losing, failing the child. But perhaps, the child is helping to heal you. Perhaps that is God's plan.

I can only say that I have grown so much in parenting this child. And you ladies have helped so much just knowning that I am not the only one out there dealing with discarded wrappers. Thanks for listening to me vent. I sure love this forum and all of you lovely ladies.

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Bridget
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Posted: Feb 09 2007 at 12:28pm | IP Logged Quote Bridget

If it's any comfort, I just asked my mom about this and she said all her adopted children stole food. My sister would even steal it from the school cafeteria, the garbage... anywhere. They all outgrew it by their teens.

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