| Author | |
saintanneshs
Forum All-Star
Joined: April 15 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 591
|
| Posted: Jan 26 2007 at 3:17pm | IP Logged
|
 |
|
Hi everyone,
It occurred to me as I was nursing the new baby & looking through my kids' scrapbooks that I can't recall a whole lot about my now 4yo's toddlerhood. I see the photos but I don't remember actually playing with him! Isn't that awful? I know I must have, but I feel like his toddlerhood went by so fast!! Then after reading all the great ideas & suggestions in Shawna's post about practicing CM with toddlers underfoot (so much wisdom in that thread!), it occurred to me that I'm always trying to figure out what to do with our toddlers to keep them busy while we spend our days running around, getting things done. Unfortunately, my days seem so over-planned with things to do that it doesn't leave a whole lot of time for actually doing any of the things I've planned WITH my toddlers. For me (on the farm) this is especially true.
AND...It seems like as soon as we bring home a new baby, the former baby (now a toddler) is shifted into the role of the one I spend most of my time trying to occupy. The problem is, I'm not living in the moment, enjoying my time with my toddler and it goes by sooo fast! 
For example, I facilitate the set up of the puzzles but I'm too busy trying to nurse and grab a bite to eat to do them with my toddler.
I set out the books for big brothers to read to her, but I'm using that time to do the bookwork and pay the bills.
I buy her the dollies she loves so, but I'm doing my 15 min. lessons with the older kids while she plays with them.
My point is, I want to do things a little differently with my 4th child (and current toddler). I don't want to find ways to keep her out of the way. I want to live in the moment with her and focus on her for at least for a little time each day. If I don't make this a priority, I'm afraid she'll be in kindergarten before she gets my undivided attention again!
I know we're in survival mode with the new baby now, so this isn't too pressing, but once we move on, I'd like to get some idea of how other moms with lots of littles find time for that one child who's caught in the middle.
Do you make time for your toddlers, to truly be present for them? What kinds of special things do you do and how do you fit them into your day without too much effort? (Bearing in mind that a little goes a long way  )
Thanks for sharing!! 
__________________
Kristine
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Jordan
Forum Pro
Joined: Nov 01 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 137
|
| Posted: Jan 29 2007 at 7:18am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Kristine, I think your post is very interesting. I still just have two little ones, but I can totally see myself in a similar position in the future. I will be very interested in reading others' ideas.
Congratulations on your new baby!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Maryan
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 02 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3145
|
| Posted: Jan 29 2007 at 10:03am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Kristine, that's fitting you posted this because...well, most of my kids fit into the toddler category...except my oldest is in kindergarten. It was actually he who recently asked me, "Why can't Mommy's play with their kids - they have too much work to do?"
Now I do play a lot with my kids (and listed the things that I do to my five year old - stories, puzzles, board games, songs, coloring...and we laughed together when he said, "Oh yeah, I forgot!" However, being married to the biggest sport, I think to my little boys: soccer, football, basketball, golf, and sledding are the things that REALLY constitute playing.
However, he certainly had the impression that I was busy and Daddy was super fun. But...the comment did make me remember to try and do some of those "super fun" things when the little one is asleep. So that my little boy doesn't think "Mommy's don't play!"
So this morning I sat with Michael the most for cutting and coloring (and he did think it was good fun to see Mommy in the small chair just with him). Then to satisfy my older boys sense of "playing with Mom," I managed to do basketball in the basement with him...until the baby needed nursing again!! But they sound happy right now playing basketball still - and I clearly made their day!
So not quite the exact issues that you were posting, but I do feel the same that I'm so consumed with the baby that I don't do the playing that, apparently, matters most to the boys. I'm glad my son pointed out that's what he needed from me! And I'm making the same resolution here!
__________________
Maryan
Mom to 6 boys & 1 girl: JP('01), B ('03), M('05), L('06), Ph ('08), M ('10), James born 5/1/12
A Lee in the Woudes
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
knowloveserve
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 31 2007
Location: Washington
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 759
|
| Posted: Feb 01 2007 at 9:56am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Our reading time is about as quality as it gets around here. This and daily walks are essential for tuning in with their lives.
My toddlers are always "in the way" if I look at it like that. But I make a point not to most the time.
It helps to include them in on your daily chores. If I'm doing laundry, my little ones help put away clothes. If I do dishes, I let them "wash" a few things. Washing floors and they get their own sections. I scrub the toilet while they do the tub etc. It's kind of hard because you can be much more efficient without them, but it's a great way to include them in on things. Little kids thrive with responsibilities like this. They love working with me... and it's a good way to spend time with them.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
|
|
4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: living "in the moment" with our toddlers
