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mommylori
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| Posted: Jan 04 2007 at 6:35pm | IP Logged
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Ok today it really hit me, I am about to have number 4, in 81 days.lol And I have nothing for this baby, we aren't finding out the sex, and everything I owned was ruined between 4 moves across country in the last 3 years, and a leaking basement window.lol
Also this will be my fist year homeschooling more than one child, I mentioned this in my ma ambleside post though.lol.
So I am about to have 4, and I am a bit nervous, maybe starting nesting? So anyone have any advice or tips, My children are all so exstactic I am not worried about them, but I am concerned about fitting everything in.lol
And how do you get ready for a baby when you don't know the sex?lol
So send me all the advice you wish you would have heard with number 4. Also I have heard that if you can do three 4 is a breeze, but I am not sure how.lol Also my oldest will only be 7, just a warning.lol
Lori
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Rachel May
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| Posted: Jan 04 2007 at 8:59pm | IP Logged
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Lori,
I will repeat to you what my dear friends told me when I first met them, "Number Four is the BEST!" And they weren't kidding!
Four was easier than 3 for a lot of reasons like personalities changed with the new family dynamics and even numbers give everyone a buddy. You'll see. 
Why don't you buy a few of those buntings that are so easy for changing diapers in the middle of the night in yellow or white. Or get 2 colors and save the receipt. Some receiving blankets and burp cloths and you'll be set for a little bit anyway.
__________________
Rachel
Thomas and Anthony (10), Maria (8), Charles (6), Cecilia (5), James (3), and Joseph (1)
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teachingmom
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| Posted: Jan 04 2007 at 9:22pm | IP Logged
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I was just reading the comments on the ABC Nightline website about the "Quiver Full" story and came across a fitting quote for you. It's written by a middle child in a family of 8 children. She was homeschooled. You can read her entire comment here. (2nd to last comment on the page.) Here is the pertinent part:
"What most people don't understand, is that after the fourth child, it actually gets easier. Everyone has less work and more time for each other. True, the children can't be lazy do-nothings having their parents wait on them hand and foot, but that would not make them very good people anyway, so there's no loss there."
Isn't that great?! My 4th child was (and continues to be) so good natured. And it gets easier with each one!
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~Irene (Mom to 6 girls, ages 7-19)
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chicken lady
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| Posted: Jan 04 2007 at 9:33pm | IP Logged
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Number 4 was a breeze, it the odd number babies that always throw me 
As for supplies I think Rachel said it best, babies really just need mommy, OK and diapers!
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Bridget
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| Posted: Jan 04 2007 at 9:38pm | IP Logged
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Lori, my oldest was 7 when I had number 4 too! Piece of cake! Number 4 is when you are just getting the hang of this baby thing!
I never know what I'm having so i bring a boy outfit and a girl outfit to the hospital with me.
You need to get some basic sleepers and onesies. When the baby is born send someone shopping for a few cute outfits. Then when you feel up to it, hit the thrift stores. They are loaded with like-new baby clothes.
You'll do great with it all!
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God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
Our Magnum Opus
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Dawnie
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| Posted: Jan 05 2007 at 1:03am | IP Logged
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Hey Lori! I just had my 4th baby 6 weeks ago today. I was super nervous about being a mom of 4--could I really do it? I was even nervous about being a "mother of 4 dc" after Clara was born, then one day I realized, "Hey, I'm doing it!"
Well, like the other have said, having 4 is not that different from having 3. When I had my 3rd baby, I had a toddler and a preschooler. Now, I have a toddler, a preschooler, and a school-aged kid in addition to a new baby. The school-aged kids are not as hard to take care of as the toddlers and preschoolers and they can actually help out a little!
We didn't find out the sex of the baby before she was born, either. One of my friends was kind enough to throw a baby shower for me, and I just registered for all gender-neutral stuff. I received lots of green, yellow, and white clothes. My dear mother bought a blue outfit and a pink outfit for coming home from the hospital. I was going to send dh out shopping with our older daughters to pick out a coming-home outfit--thought it would be fun for the older kids. For Christmas, I told everyone that Clara needed clothes in the 3-6 months size and she got lots of pink. 
I think it's nice to have a good collection of gender neutral items in newborn sizes. Then you are ready for either a boy or a girl!
I'm still not fitting everything in...my house is kinda cluttered and dh is still doing most of the cooking. We've just got back to formal schooling this past week. But it's okay. It may take us longer to get through everything and we may not do all the hands-on projects I would like, but we will cover the basics.
Clara is being baptized on Sunday, and we are having family and friends over to our house afterwards for a little party. I'm going to be cleaning up by throwing all the clutter in a laundry basket and then hiding the laundry basket in a bedroom! 
Dawn
__________________
Mom to Mary Beth (99), Anna (02), Lucia (04), Clara (06), and Adelaide Victoria (2/28/09)
Visit my blog!Water Into Wine:Vino Per Tutto!
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mary
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| Posted: Jan 05 2007 at 7:44am | IP Logged
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guess i'll be the odd one out and say #4 has been my absolute hardest. this baby had reflux, was colicky for months (oh was that awful) and is my only baby to have ear infections. she throws up all medicine and needs either shots or suppositories. in addition, the rest of the kids have had every illness this fall - cold after cold after cold, the stomach bug and flu.
normally, i spend the babymoon reading and reading to the big kids and so they are happy. this baby required lots of walking. so, some advice from a mom with a fussy 4th baby - be flexible, especially about that schedule. be prepared to do a workbook or two or maybe nothing for a while. get a sling if you don't already have one. help your other children become as independent as you can. if you can find a mother's helper, do it! my oldest had just turned 8 when i had #4 and he has been a wonderful help to me. i know pple say it gets easier with each one, but that really hasn't happened for me yet. i don't have any family available to help and so another piece of advice is to set up a babysitter for your older children so that you and your dh (and the new baby) get a few outings out.
as for clothing, my little sleepers are neutral colored. if you can find a bumbo seat - they are fantastic for 3mo-7mo.
good luck to you!
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TracyFD
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| Posted: Jan 05 2007 at 8:15am | IP Logged
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I am expecting #4 as well! I was scared to death after having my 3rd three years ago - all my babies have been fussy, had thrush, etc and I did not want to be left alone with all of them. This time I am considering cutting out dairy and wheat asap with the intent of avoiding a fourth fussy baby and hope the baby will take a pacifier - I couldn't get my other three to take one.
This time around I plan to re-vamp some of my baby gear. I am looking into getting either a Kangaroo pouch sling or an Ergo carrier (sorry-I don't know how to make a one-word link to their websites). I am also considering an Amby baby hammock for the main level for daytime and a Nurse-N-Glow support for night.
For clothes I really love organic cotton onsies and kimono tops - so soft and gender neutral. Last time I received as a gift a very large flannel blanket that was big enough for effective swaddling and am trying to locate more of those too. I just don't know if I will be able to keep up with cloth diapering and homeschooling.
Also, just this year I have a high schooler come over at 3:30 a few days a week so I can go on a walk outdoors by myself - a sanity saver!
Other than that I am expecting to postpone much of our regular curriculum and do lots of FIAR reading. I have to admit that, like you, I am not sure what to expect - we recently babysat a 3mo for a neighbor and having a baby around was pretty disruptive for our routine. I forget how much babies like attention when they are awake - luckily my children were great at entertaining him while I got things done!
Tracy
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Maryan
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| Posted: Jan 05 2007 at 2:17pm | IP Logged
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Lori,
I just had #4 in September two weeks after my oldest turned five. My mom too had told me that three was the hardest and after that, you could do anything. But I was scared to death!! But for me -- it did turn out to be totally was true. I only have to worry about kindergarten for one child, though.
But I think being scared before #4's birth definitely helped because it made me become organized and simplify my life. For example, I took out the easiest baby outfits -- the ones without socks to lose -- and gave away the fussy outfits except one for a dressy occasion. I bought shelves for our kitchen to keep all our homeschool supplies/crafts so that we had tons of stuff to entertain us right in the kitchen. It helped me so that way I didn't have to worry about one of the kids being out of the room -- perhaps in the toilet with Daddy's shaver, etc. And I decluttered and organized our toy closet to make cleaning easier! And the last help was -- internet shopping for everything but groceries - our area doesn't get deliveries. My husband, a hs admin/coach, comes home very late, so I do my grocery shopping in the morning before he leaves, so I can fill up a cart without the big kids. Also a baby bjorn/sling helps keep a baby happy and give you more hands for your preschoolers.
As it turns out, my baby is so entertained by all of our activity that he's hardly fussy (I'm also blessed with an easy nurser with no colic issues). And all the bigger kids are excited (and now capable) of being a help!
And, most importantly other than family prayer - I drink a half a pot of coffee every morning.
So scared is good - it brought me to my knees and helped me to be organized! But having four has been awesome and such a blessing.
Maryan (Mom to 4 boys)
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Lisbet
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| Posted: Jan 05 2007 at 4:31pm | IP Logged
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Lori,
My oldest was 5 when my 4th was born, and it while I will be honest and tell you it was difficult, very difficult at times, I wouldn't trade those days for the world. They were all little, I could occupy them all with the same books and games and things. I so enjoy watching my children become such close friends now, I pray it lasts a lifetime.
We've never found out the sex either, I just have very neutral items for about 0-3 months. These don't fit my big 9 and a half pounders very long, but I have always received gender specific clothing from family and friends after the baby is born. I don't know if you cloth diaper, if you do, I'd recommend buying at least one new dozen for each new baby.
As for schooling, there is really not a whole lot to fit in for a 7 year old. If you use a sling, learning back carries proved invaluable for me, I could move about freely with my baby right close to me all the time, keeping the baby both happy and safe from super-affectionate siblings!
And don't forget that you don't need to handle 4 kids just yet. God will supply sufficient grace to handle it when you need it, not any sooner. So while it is wise to prepare, try really hard not to worry or stress over 'getting it all in.'
You'll do just fine mama!
__________________
Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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saintanneshs
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| Posted: Jan 09 2007 at 10:44am | IP Logged
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Lori,
My oldest was 5 also when my 4th was born and although it was the most challenging post-partum (re-hospitalization for exaggerated newborn jaundice and then dd was diagnosed with a cavernous hemangioma in her lip that prevented breastfeeding) I have to say, #4 has been wonderful!! We kept things low-key and there were rough spots but we got through them. I agree with the girls who posted above...God will give you everything you need, just as you need it, and no amount of worrying about it beforehand will affect the grace He will shower upon you. He's always there. You can count on it.
Don't sweat HOW you'll do it. You just will. At least, that's what I'm telling myself with #5 just days away from arriving and me with NO IDEA how I'll manage 5 children! I suppose that what I've written is the lesson I had to learn with MY #4. If I hadn't learned to completely rely on God's presence and his Amazing Grace with my #4, there probably wouldn't be a #5 and how sad would that be right now?
You can do this and you won't be alone. Make sure to feed your soul with what YOU need (prayer, exercise, fresh air, etc.) and then you'll be able to manage everything else. You'll see.
I'll be praying for you!
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Kristine
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Erin
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| Posted: Jan 09 2007 at 9:40pm | IP Logged
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My oldest was 6 when I had number 4.
After two difficult boy babies previously I found number 4 very easy. He was also a boy but my least demanding. I have very found memories of snuggling on the lounge feeding him with the dc gathered around reading some beautiful books. That was the time we read all of the Beatrix Potter Treasury and Wind in the Willows.
I have never known the gender so here goes:
i've written this keeping in mind you are in winter there, as our winters are not that cold you most likely may need layers I'm not certain about.
2 neutral blankets
6 singlets
nappies/diapers
(if you use square cloths they can double up as receivers)
6 pilchers (diaper covers)
3-6 sleepsuits
1 neutral church outfit.
3 socks
This will get you going for the first couple of weeks until you want to go shopping -unless you trust dh
Send out BIG hints to family and friends to buy once they know the gender.
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Erin
Faith Filled Days
Seven Little Australians
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amiefriedl
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| Posted: Jan 10 2007 at 5:40pm | IP Logged
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Oh and be sure to ask for help from you local homeschoolers group and from the ladies at the new Latin Mass you'll be going to!
Shame on them if they don't help you out! 
Ladies, I am on the cusp of #4, not pregnant yet, but was having those creeping worries about it/homeschooling while pregnant/you know the drill. But now I'm inspired and can hardly wait for God to bless us with another!! Now I need prayers to get pregnant!
My first was VERY high need so I feel like I can deal with it okay if #4 should dare to be. But she/he will have 3 darling big siblings to adore him/her and help out.
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In Christ the King through Mary our Mother,
Amie
Blessed with an awesome hubby and Mom of ds10, dd7, dd3 and dd 10months.
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1floridamom
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| Posted: Jan 10 2007 at 6:32pm | IP Logged
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I was sitting here reading everyone's replies thinking of my sweet, curly, blond-haired #4. She came when we were well out of diapers and nursing #3, so some things were surprising (like how much I forgot), but we were all overjoyed with pregnancy, birth, and baby. Then it occurred to me how ridiculous that should seem considering what was happening at the time.
We had just moved into our house at Thanksgiving. I was pregnant and due in March. Just after the new year, my poor dh had an appendicitis attack that required surgery. He owns his own business, so it was stressful for both of us knowing that he was physically limited in what he could do. His employees rose to the challenge. I stressed, though, and my water broke 5 1/2 weeks before my due date. Kylie was born at home with no complications at 6lbs. Dh spent a good amount of time at home getting to know this sweet girl that I don't think he could've if it hadn't been for his appendectomy. God works in ways that we can't understand or don't just yet. We were so in love with this new baby that we couldn't wait for the next one. Now we have a sweet little redhead; we have no idea where that comes from.
I think I've figured out and been reminded a time or two that life happens in cycles, phases, seasons. Things will slow down when the baby comes, but "school" might get right back in order to keep people content. Or they'll be content enjoying this new little person.
I have never know what I was having, but I have greatly pared down what I think I need. Depending on your weather, I would just get/ask for neutral cotton sleepers. Babies don't need to get dressed up, and it won't be long before you're ready to venture out with the whole crew to go shopping.
Enjoy! Our prayers are with you!
__________________
Monica in FL
dh Steve, Sean (14), Ethan (13), Emily (10), Kylie (6), Ashley (5) and Lindsay (2)!
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juststartn
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I am expecting #4 in June...my oldest will be a touch over 7. So far, all I have is dds, altho I do have a small "OOPS! The U/s was WRONG!" box with some wee little boy things in it...just in case, lol. I'm planning on finding out this time...partly because if it's a girl, I will absolutely NOT need to shop for her (my other dc are all girls, and March, April, and May babies)...if it's a boy, I NEED to get shopping done beforehand. DH leaves for a yr long deployment sometime in April-May, and I will have minimal help after delivery--and likely, NO gifts whatsoever. From family or friends either one. Kind of depressing, that, now that I think about it, but oh well.
Anyway, I am lucky in one respect. Good thrift stores, and a HUGE local consignment sale here twice a year, all for maternity and children's clothing, equipment, toys, etc. And the next one is in late March/early April...so I will be able to get some "new to me" maternity things for that last little bit, and some boy things, if I need them.
I've heard that after baby #7, people tend to back off and leave you alone, cause they have finally confirmed that you know what causes "that", you DO have a tv (perhaps, lol), you are NOT going to listen to their advice...and you are certifiably "crazy" in their words.
Of course, being on baby #4 (and unlikely to get to 7, unless the good Lord starts handing me multiples, lol), it's likely I will be getting comments from here on out...at least til I don't have any more for a while. I'm already getting them from my family (oh yeah, just what I needed, mom, a harangue on abc, thanks)...more distant friends, etc.
But I'm plugging ahead, and it is so nice to be able to come to places like this, where the people are warm friendly, and FULL of openness to life!
Rachel
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Lisbet
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| Posted: Jan 18 2007 at 2:50pm | IP Logged
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Rachel, Welcome! Congrats on the upcoming addition!
I've never heard that about #7, sure has not been my experience, actually the comments seem to be getting worse for us. 
__________________
Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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juststartn
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| Posted: Jan 19 2007 at 5:19pm | IP Logged
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Ah, Lisbet, I'm sorry to hear it. Actually, I am trying to keep that in mind for myself as much as anything else.
I've already gotten the "don't you know what causes that?!", when dd#3 was a wee one. I informed them that "Yes, we do, and we are REALLY good at it!" LOL. I actually plastered a HUGE grin on my face, and she laughed. It was the first time I've gotten that sort of comment. Of course, since I am showing (and have been for over a month, now, lol) now, I am receiving the "are you trying for a boy?" "Will this be your last?" "Was it a surprise?"...(answers: No, God Willing, NO, and "not really, since we do know what causes that!"....). I actually got a comment from my mailman (who I know was joking with me)...he asked if I knew what caused it, and I told him yes, and that DH and I were going to have to start washing our underwear separately, since just keeping our toothbrushes apart doesn't seem to be working as well as we had thought.
LOL
I can handle it from strangers (so far). It's my family. Oh, the family. The non-Catholic, abc promoting, don't-want-to-understand-why-I-am-doing-what-I-am-doing-and- delight-in-causing-me-pain family. THAT is what hurts the most. The little digs...
And I'm "only" on number 4.
SIGH
Rachel
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: advice for number 4
