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time4tea
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Hi Everyone!
Yes, I just found out today that we are expecting baby #5 (due date August 15th - Feast of the Assumption). I am terrified (didn't want to put that in full caps, but I'm really this scared about it). Currently, my father is seriously ill and hospitalized with complications due to his diabetes. He may have to have one or potentially both of his legs amputated from the knees down. My mother, who has also been in poor health (she had a quadruple bypass 5 years ago and a hip replacement 2 years ago), is very concerned about Dad and his health situation. I feel that my parents need me to lean on. To add to all of that, I am 40 years old, and fearing that my age will "doom" me to pregnancy/post-partum complications and/or health problems for the baby. I know a lot of this is emotions (and hormones!) talking, but I could really use all of your encouragement right about now.......
Thank you in advance and God bless!
Tea
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Blessings to you!
~Tea
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Bridget
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Congratulations! A pregnancy at 40 does NOT mean it will be harder. I'm sure you will still be able to help your parents. You can still be a listening ear, a driver, a visitor... Take each situation as it comes. It will all work out. You may go through some stressful times but just keep praying. Know that God will give you the grace to handle whatever comes AS YOU NEED THE GRACE.
I am happy for you. I love my number 5 so much!
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Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
Our Magnum Opus
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Lisbet
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BIG HEARTY CONGRATS are in order!!!! What wonderful news!
All of your concerns are valid, of course, but not dooming!! A perspective that you may not have considered is just how much JOY a little bitty baby brings to everyone around them, and that may be just the ticket to uplift the spirts of your parents. I know my grandparents give us much grief over our hoard of children, but that very hoard of children brought them so much joy when they were recovering from that terrible car accident.
God Bless you and your little one!
*edited because I tend to proofread AFTER I hit reply...
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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kjohnson
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Congratulations on your newest blessing. I just wanted to let you know that when I found out I was pregnant with our 5th baby this summer my fil had one leg amputated due to diabetes (wound that wouldn't heal with multi-drug resistant infection). It took my huband away from home to be with him for a great deal of time, but God provided and provided abundantly. So I have very recent experience on how hard this health situation can be on a family. I will be praying for your parents and for your strength.
Allow God to draw you closer to Him and try your best to put your anxieties in the hands of the Mother of God. It's really the only advice I have that is guaranteed to work. 
Prayers for a healthy pregnancy! 
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In Christ,
Katherine
Wife to Doug and Mother of 6
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shartlesville
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Congratulations Tea! I know it is tough but try to just take it one day at a time. Things can seem overwhelming but God truely doesn't give us more than we can handle with His help.
Blessings,
Krisann
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Krisann
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momwats8
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Congratulations!!! I will be praying for you throughout your pregnancy and especially now. I have had a couple of pregnancies where I had a hard time fathoming why God would send a baby at that time. Through His grace and mercy it all worked out and I can't imagine it any other way. God Bless you and give you peace.
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Mary- Wife to Mike and Mother to Austin(92), Mikey(95), R.J.(97), Benedict(98), Kolbe(00), Ignatius(02), Christian(03), Margaret(05),&4 angels in heaven
http://www.momwats8.blogspot.com
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Marybeth
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Praying! A wise woman told me during our tough time with infertilty that God sends a baby and you always think...how was life before them...you usually can't remember b/c a baby brings so much joy. I found it so true with each new baby brought into my life through family and friends.
I will be praying.
Congratulations! What a truly wonderful Christmas present.
Mb
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Marybeth (Mb)
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kingvozzo
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Congratulations on #5! I will be praying for peace and strength for you.
I'm always a bit biased about pregnancies after 40--my mom was almost 42 when I was born  . I've grown up with the idea that I kept her young! 
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Noreen
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Mom to 4 great kids and 10 sweet ones in Our Lady's arms
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alicegunther
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Congratulations, and hugs to you, Tea! 
The circumstances you mentioned are challenging, but God will provide, and you will have an enormous circle of friends to pray for you throughout!
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Love, Alice
mother of seven!
     
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Brew yourself a cup of tea, and come for a visit!
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ElizLeone
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Woo-hoo!!! I just turned 40 and have high hopes that we can still have another. There's nothing like babies to keep you young!
Elizabeth, mom to five
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Erin
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Congratulations Tea!!!
I do imagine at the moment all seems very daunting with your parents health issues and such major ones at that. Prayers coming up there.
Recently I have had several conversations with my grandmother who had her last at 41, and she has shared with me repeatedly what a blessing her youngest is to her. My aunty (who is 37 and 3 yrs older than me) is her comfort in her old age, she is the one to whom she turns to for practical help, spiritual companionship and simply the only one who seems to appreciate and value her. My aunt is the one who doesn;t drain emotions from my grandmother, who gives to her.
Hearing my grandmother share often what a blessing Judith is to her has made an impression on me about those 'later babies', not that I really consider early 40s later but my gm does.
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Erin
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teachingmom
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Hi Tea,
Congratulations on your newest addition! It sounds like you already have your plate very full, with so many concerns about your parents, along with all your normal responsibilies. But I can encourage you a bit.
I just had my 6th child at age 42. I had a healthy pregnancy and a perfectly healthy baby. (I was more worried about health problems with this baby than any of my others -- I think it was a combination of my age and feeling like odds were that I'd be hit with complications at some point, and I'd already had five healthy babies. I guess that shows my lack of faith, huh?)
We have had several difficulties during the pregancy and post partum time: dh is on the edge of unemployment right now, my father-in-law passed away last month, and we had other family stresses. In spite of this I have to tell you that Lisa was so right when she wrote, "A perspective that you may not have considered is just how much JOY a little bitty baby brings to everyone around them, and that may be just the ticket to uplift the spirts of your parents." Our two month old is so unbelievably precious and brings us all so much joy in the midst of our challenges.
It might help if we remember that God provides the grace to answer His call. (I'm speaking to myself as much as to you here.) He has called you to be mom to this precious baby, and He has called you to care for your parents in their need. His grace is sufficient.
I'll pray for you.
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~Irene (Mom to 6 girls, ages 7-19)
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ALmom
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Congratulations! What a great blessing and comfort your baby is sure to be - to you and to your family.
Know the concerns are very real - but also somehow God does provide. The babies bring a lot of joy to those suffering - not only just your relatives but those in the room with them, etc. You get a tad creative but we have had babies along for -
after mom's surgery (semi-snuck her into the hospital as the nurse intentionally looked the other way), went to all chemo treatments with my mom (and then back again when she was too sick to be at home - my mom was allergic to every single anti-nausea drug so she always had to go back for an IV of fluids), babies snuggled in the bed with my grandmother right after her stroke with me providing some subtle support and all kinds of things in between. There were times when the baby brought a sense of normal life to an otherwise dreary time. My grandmother could hold the baby even though she could not swallow or get out of bed. (She did not have to see my arm tucked behind the baby for safety).
One thing that I found uncanny was that no matter how fussy or high need the particular baby was, they were always angels in a crisis - so if mom needed me for something, the baby decided to smile and coo the whole time even if it was her normal hour of terrific fussiness. (Then when I went home, we had our usual fussy spell just so I didn't miss out )
Janet
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Leonie
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Congratulations - and you have been given lots of good advice above. I'll just add my prayers and thoughts.
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Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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Cheryl
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Leonie wrote:
| Congratulations - and you have been given lots of good advice above. I'll just add my prayers and thoughts. |
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This is what I want to say. I'll pray too.
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Cheryl
Wife to Bob ('97)
Mom to Matthew 13, Joseph 11, Sarah 10, Rachel 6, Hannah almost 4 and Mary 1
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MarilynW
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Praying for you. What a wonderful day for a due date. We are also expecting #5 (end July) - and I was/am terrified - health and other issues.(I am 38 going on 39) Also dreadful morning sickness and exhaustion is making me feel so low. But the excitement of my kids and husband is contagious - and I know that God gives us grace day by day, and will provide for all our needs.
Blessings
Marilyn
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Becky Parker
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Tea! Congratulations! I am also pregnant with my 5th and a bit nervous(I'm 42), although my parents are not going through what your's are. I do know that because of my initial concern over this pregnancy I started praying the rosary. It seems that Mary just really flooded me with peace about the whole thing. I can actually say I am more joyful now than I have been in a long time. I also received much encouragement from the ladies on this list recently! What a huge help it is to know there are people who understand, especially when it seems like the rest of the world thinks your crazy.
I know it is scary, but God never asks us to do something that he doesn't give us the grace to handle. We just don't always have the grace until just when we need it, which requires much faith. I will pray for you and your baby as well as your parents.
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Becky
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Academy Of The Good Shepherd
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Kathryn UK
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Tea ... relax . I had my third daughter this year at 45 (almost 46). I can't pretend it was an easy pregnancy, but that was down to pregnancy-induced asthma which I think was probably not age related (each pregnancy seems to sensitise me more?). My post-partum recovery was very easy, despite an emergency c-section, and I have a beautiful, healthy little daughter who will be six months old this week. She is such a blessing, I just can't tell you
Older motherhood does often mean that we have to cope simultaneously with the demands of a young family and aging parents. It can be done. My mother is struggling with arthritis, and I am having to deal with a house move for her as she is not physical capable of clearing out and packing up. She is also due for hip replacement surgery in two weeks. I worried about how I would be able to help Mum if she needed it, but now that it has come to the crunch it is working out fine. Babies are portable . Working on the house with Naomi in tow is more fun for both Mum and myself through having her around - OK, a bit slower, but more fun - and it means Mum is getting the opportunity to really know her newest granddaughter.
Congratulations! Enjoy your pregnancy and the blessing your new little one will be to both your family and your parents.
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Kathryn
Dh Michael, Rachel(3/95) Hannah(8/98) Naomi(6/06)  (11/07)
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doris
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Congratulations! I think our Lady's trying to tell you something with that due date!
ALmom wrote:
One thing that I found uncanny was that no matter how fussy or high need the particular baby was, they were always angels in a crisis - so if mom needed me for something, the baby decided to smile and coo the whole time even if it was her normal hour of terrific fussiness. (Then when I went home, we had our usual fussy spell just so I didn't miss out )
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I really found this to be true after a family member died.
Praying for you,
Elizabeth
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Home educating in London, UK with dd (2000) ds (2002), dd (2004), ds (2008) and dd (2011).
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teachingmom
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ALmom wrote:
One thing that I found uncanny was that no matter how fussy or high need the particular baby was, they were always angels in a crisis - so if mom needed me for something, the baby decided to smile and coo the whole time even if it was her normal hour of terrific fussiness. (Then when I went home, we had our usual fussy spell just so I didn't miss out )
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Now that I think about it, I can also attest to how babies can be wonderful in a crisis. Three and a half years ago, my oldest dd became very ill with an unknown virus. She spent three weeks in three different hospitals. My 3yo was only four months old back then. She spent all day every day at the hospital with me at her sister's bedside. The only restriction was that I couldn't stay overnight in the hospital with my nursing baby, so dh had to do the nights with our sick dd and I went home (or, later, to the hotel near the hospital) with the baby. Our baby was such a blessing during those long days of our hospital vigil. She was as happy as could be and helped distract us from our fears for our older dd's health.
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~Irene (Mom to 6 girls, ages 7-19)
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Expecting #5 and need some encouragement.
