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SeaStar
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| Posted: Oct 22 2006 at 7:46pm | IP Logged
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I really need help here- I'm struggling. My dd (recently two) has for the past six months become more and more picky about what she will wear. She picks out her own clothes every morning- that was not great but OK in the summer since she had several outfits she liked (although about 80% of her wardrobe went unworn).
Now that we are transitioning into fall clothes- oh, my! She has two shirts she will wear without a fuss, and maybe three pairs of pants. Mornings are very hard, and Sunday is the worst. Forget dresses- she won't let them touch her body. She will scream and cry at the mention of "church clothes". This morning we had crying off and on for an hour before she settled on an outfit (and by that time, believe me, any decent top/bottom combo was FINE with me).
I have put together several shirt/pants outfits for her to choose from, but she looks them all over every morning and says, "Not that one!" or "Nooooo" very thoughtfully while fingering each one.
What can I do? Is this a phase? I am going crazy!!!!!! Help!
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: Oct 22 2006 at 8:42pm | IP Logged
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Oh my, SeaStar, my only daughter is 14yo and I remember being in your situation like it was yesterday! I found it incredibly fascinating how after I would wash her clothes, she would choose the same clothes in the same order! I don't know if I can help, but hopefully just knowing that you are not alone is a start.
There were two main issues connected to my dd's clothes. The first was what she found visually pleasing...what she thought she looked good in. At 2, this included a lot of pink and bright patterns. She liked to wear her favorite shirt with her favorite pants, regardless of if they coordinated (from my perspective.) When she dressed in her favorite clothing, she would twirl and dance and feel pretty...a good thing. Eventually, I did my best to put away the clothes that she just hated (we were blessed with lots of hand-me-downs) even if I REALLY liked them. Then, I tried to focus on print tops and solid bottoms (to minimize serious clashing.) I included her in as much of the choosing process as possible (but probably needed to cause a few items to get "lost" for my own sanity.)
I didn't become clear on the second issue until she was a little older. She was a very sensitive child and couldn't stand anything itchy, hot, or tight. I needed to cut out tags and stick to soft cotton. Some clothes could be fitted, but not tight (especially not necklines or cuffs.)
As for the dresses, don't be surprised if she changes her mind and doesn't want to wear anything BUT dress sometime in her future. Lots of 3 and 4 years old turn into dressy girls.
For church would it help to find one outfit on which you agree? I know this isn't easy but it might be worth some extra effort/money and a prayer to St. Anthony to find just the right dress.
Gradually I worked on helping her to understand and accept clothing guidelines. I don't remember them exactly but do know that clothes had to be clean and seasonally appropriate. Over time, the concept of dressing for a setting and as a service (like church or visiting relatives) came into being.
BTW, none of my boys have gone through anything remotely like this!
Consider this training for the teen years, lol! And, if all else fails, make yourself a button that says, "I dressed myself today!" and have your daughter wear it on her extra fancy days  .
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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SeaStar
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| Posted: Oct 23 2006 at 7:28pm | IP Logged
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Thanks so much, Angie, for your wise words- I can't tell you how it helped to hear them. My daughter is just as you described- she loves pink and bright patterns like stripes (lots of stripes... too many stripes...)
I will have to take a deep breath and put away a lot of the beautiful clothes I have lovingly been collecting for the past two years. Lots of hand-me-downs and yard sale finds- but they are so cute and hard to say goodbye to unworn.
Today was an "I dressed myself day"- cream and maroon print leggings with a green and white striped shirt. But at least there were no tears.
My ds will also wear just about anything, so this whole issue of being so choosy has taken me off-guard.
One other thing- she likes to change clothes often throughout the day and will frequently stop what she is doing and strip herself and ask for new clothes. At first I thought it was funny- but your child trying to disrobe in the middle of mass is stressful, to say the least!
I guess I will take her on a shopping trip and ask St Anthony (and possibly St Jude) to come along.
Thanks so much for your advice!
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: Oct 23 2006 at 8:55pm | IP Logged
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Sometimes us moms just need to be reassured that what we're going through is normal. It helps to brainstorm ideas with other moms who have been there for sure.
Oh, yes, the changing outfits thing is fascinating and normal too. Well, it isn't exactly fascinating duriing mass  and I can distinctly remember losing my cool over the sifting through clothes...is this clean or dirty...if it was only worn for 15 seconds, how dirty can it be?  
I wish I could see your daughter in her fancy outfit. Whenever I see a little girl decked out in her fancy clothes, my heart melts.
You are welcome  .
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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humanaevitae
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| Posted: Oct 25 2006 at 7:08pm | IP Logged
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If she has always had clothing sensitivities I would keep trying to figure out what they are.
If this is relatively new, I normally give my toddler 2 outfits to pick from. If they do not chose one within a few minutes, I chose and they must wear it. If they won't leave the outfit on they must stay in the playpen until they are ready to leave their clothes on.
I got tired of my toddlers ransacking their dresser drawers so for the last 5 years all clothes are in our main floor laundry room (always supervised!)
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: 2 yr old dressing woes
