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teachingmyown
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| Posted: Oct 16 2006 at 11:28pm | IP Logged
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I know different aspects of sleeping and bedtimes have been discussed in the past. I think my question is a little different.
I have four kids in one room, sometimes five when my ds gets lonely in his own room and joins the girls. Bedtime is wild!  My three year old will not settle down. She is climbing on the bunks, taking others' books, playing with whatever she can find. The others don't settle down well either, especially is the 3 yr old is in the room. They talk, get up asking for bread and water (just like a jail! LOL!), ask to go potty, etc.
All the while, I am trying to keep quiet for my 6 month old who actually does sleep. And I am desparate for some down time.
If I bring the 3 yr old in my room where she has a toddler bed, she will still bounce around for hours. Tonight she did not settle down until I sat in front of the computer holding her. She finally laid down on the floor next to me and passed out.
I have tried waking her earlier, but she still can't settle down at night. She doesn't nap and I don't know how to make her. Our whole day is so off schedule because of the late evenings and my being too tired to get up in the morning.
Any thoughts, suggestions?
Thanks so much!! Off to bed, finally! 
__________________
In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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mom2mpr
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| Posted: Oct 17 2006 at 7:02am | IP Logged
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Shifts, perhaps? Put the youngers down first or the bunch who don't "feed" off one another as much. Give them 30 minutes and then do the next shift and then YOU go to bed 
I make sure EVERYTHING is taken care of before we head up to bed. Snack, bathroom, whatever might be a request. I sometimes will send dd up with a sippy cup of water, just in case. I also keep notes--if they asked for a particular toy, the next night I make sure they have it and ask a blanket," is there any other toy you need to go to sleep?" It is a lengthy process some nights.....sigh.
My dd who is 3, soon to be 4, and used to be an awesome sleeper is currently "wild" before bed. She has recently given up her nap, though could still use one. I try to make sure we get outside twice a day. We play red light/green light during our afternoon play session for 15 minutes and I try to tire her out we run, and run and run-and I have lost a pound or two I also have always nursed her to sleep and to be honest I think she is weaning herself and is at a loss as to what to do. I am bedtime boss(dh doesn't get into the bedtime stuff)and it has worked and is quick and easy So, I think she will soon figure it out-of course, while I am a little sad, I am putting the "idea" in her head and waiting for the connection
My other bedtime "rule" is no matter how long it takes we stay in bed--and I also stay! Once they are there we don't move. After a few nights if they are falling asleep later there may be a time adjustment as far as when we head up to bed but I have been know to stay there with them for 2 hours!! It has helped so much as far as my meaning "business".
I also rarely wake them. I figure they need it--and maybe the practice sleeping. My ds got woken up constantly because my mom told me he needed to be on a "schedule" poor kid is the worst sleeper.
We also have a late schedule and sometimes you just have to go with it. I struggle with it every day since I am a morning person(but I get my time in the am while they are still sleeping). We are so much less efficient not rising til 9, and not ready to do anything til 10 or 11am. Then throw in lunch, quiet time, outside time, and try to get dinner going at 5-6 and it is a very short day. But, it is where we are right now!
Hang in there, Molly!
Anne
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ALmom
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| Posted: Oct 17 2006 at 7:45pm | IP Logged
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Sometimes "wild" occurs when dc are overtired - at least at our house. I call their bluff. So you're just trying to keep awake eh? I usually get very sheepish grins and finally some settling - but I do not have 4-5 in one room.
Our 4 yo, though, is now keeping us all awake because he has to take over the whole bed - whoever he is sleeping with for the night and sometimes that shifts when he gets up to go potty.
Also, no sugar (including fruits) after a certain time helps us. I do send water bottles up with everyone so there are no excuses for getting back up. We have family prayer time and read aloud - then lights out.
Hope someone has a solution or some ideas to try for you.
Janet
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Oct 17 2006 at 10:56pm | IP Logged
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Some children also need less sleep.. regardless of what the books say. My children have rarely needed naps from somewhere between 2 and 3 yrs. Matter of fact tonight I'm  that my 2 yr old made it to this time (8:50) without a nap.. he's been impossible.. not sleepy even when I'm ready for bed if he naps, but not able to make it late enough that he'll sleep all night.
One thing that helped here is having something that can be taken away. For a long time I would let them keep the light on IF they stayed on their bed quietly looking at books.. it was enough that even the littles would stay put, more or less. Also we leave the door open with the hall light on... so first they can lose the light.. then I can shut off the hall light.. then I can close their door.
Also I would at least temporarily remove the instigator to the other bedroom where there's no one to "feed off". Jumping around may lose it's interest when it gains NO attention.. not from mom, not from siblings.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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mumofsix
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| Posted: Oct 18 2006 at 4:32am | IP Logged
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Molly - I have a four year old who really does not want to go to sleep without me, but unfortunately it can be very time-consuming to stay with him until he falls asleep.
I discovered the solution this year: laundry folding! After I have gone through the whole bed-time routine with him, ending with reading him a story, I settle him down and cuddle him for a little bit, then leave him in bed, but start the LAUNDRY FOLDING! I usually have enough laundry (for 8 people) piled up that it takes a good 20 - 30 minutes to fold it all and put it away. I am doing something constructive that needs to be done, but I am in the room with him, making sure he stays in bed. He almost always drifts off before I have finished ...
He seems to like the reassurance that I am still around, but is not stimulated to stay awake.
Jane.
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mom2mpr
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| Posted: Oct 18 2006 at 6:19am | IP Logged
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mumofsix wrote:
Molly - I have a four year old who really does not want to go to sleep without me, but unfortunately it can be very time-consuming to stay with him until he falls asleep.
I discovered the solution this year: laundry folding! After I have gone through the whole bed-time routine with him, ending with reading him a story, I settle him down and cuddle him for a little bit, then leave him in bed, but start the LAUNDRY FOLDING! I usually have enough laundry (for 8 people) piled up that it takes a good 20 - 30 minutes to fold it all and put it away. I am doing something constructive that needs to be done, but I am in the room with him, making sure he stays in bed. He almost always drifts off before I have finished ...
He seems to like the reassurance that I am still around, but is not stimulated to stay awake.
Jane. |
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Oh, I like this idea!!
Anne
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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: Oct 18 2006 at 7:28am | IP Logged
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JAne,
That is a brilliant idea.
When the last two were younger and restless, I gave them cups of warm milk with a touch of honey flavoring at night.
You might have to delete the honey due to allergies or if it hypes her up even more. SInce she's 3 though, it should be safe.
Give it to her as a "treat" while you fold that laundry. 
__________________
Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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ALmom
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| Posted: Oct 22 2006 at 1:23am | IP Logged
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Well, thanks guys for this discussion. It got me thinking about more creative solutions for our 4 yo who I suspected needed and was ready for his own bed but just wouldn't make the transition and was keeping us all awake. He is responding great to stickers. He gets a sticker for every night that he starts out and stays in his own bed (not crawling in with us or his brother). This child is a real squirm worm and literally knocks me out of a Queen sized bed even if we are the only 2 in it. He wanted to know if he could get a St. Michael holy card with his stickers - so I told him that he could pick out any holy card he wanted as soon as he had 20 stickers. He has been in his own bed and sleeping soundly ever since! Now all the other kids want chances - so every child has a poster for their stickers (well not the 6th grader and high-schooler) and they earn stickers based on whatever thing is the current "challenge". The older ones will get the equivalent cost of holy card credit and they can save up credit for science kits or good books (things I'd probably buy anyways eventually).
Hope the original poster has had more restful nights as well.
Janet
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kristina
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| Posted: Oct 22 2006 at 2:04pm | IP Logged
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Molly,
I can so relate to your plight. We have tried different types of bedtime routines and for now, our current one seems to be working a bit better.
We have four boys in one small room. They have a bunk and a trundle. We rarely pull out the trundle and they sleep like puppies. There have been nights where they want to "camp out" on the floor. I am trying to avoid being the mom who CONSTANTLY says 'no' to everything, so if camping on the floor means they will sleep sooner, and it is of no harm to them, then why not?
Our two and a half year old usually does not nap, so she goes to bed upstairs first. Sometimes we begin with bathtime, then teeth are brushed, then we all say prayers in the livingroom first and everyone has access to water. Our daughter is taken upstairs by either Daddy, Mommy or a big brother where she listens to a story until she nods off. Often the brothers have their own storytime downstairs while sister is being tucked in.
Then the 4 year old goes to bed. Daddy usually takes a few minutes to put him tell him a story as he drifts off. If our six year old is getting punchy, then he goes at the same time.
This gives our older boys some free reading time. Then it is bedtime for them. If they all go to bed together, there is often goofing around and fighting.
Our eldest is a night owl (like his mom ). He sometimes gets back up because he is lonely and cannot sleep. I do let him have a dim reading light, but sometimes he just has leftover energy. If I am still up, I have been known to allow him to get back up and have special time with me and we work. It's crazy, but it is a help, too. We unload or reload the dishwasher, flip the laundry, fold and put away laundry, sometimes we do a bit of late night baking. Then we often watch a cooking show that we tivo'd and finally turn in. On those nights, I let him sleep in a bit later. I find I get some time to do activities with the younger ones while he is snoozing the next morning.
It is a bit unusual, but perhaps letting each child have their own "up late" time, on occasions can give some one on one time that is difficult to find on busy days. Our six year old likes to snuggle up with Daddy and watch the Boston Celtics. Once in a while, he dozes off while snuggled up next to Daddy on the couch.
Maybe we are breaking all of the "good parenting" rules of not having lights out for everyone at a certain time, but with a big family, finding a way to turn typical bedtime chaos into special memories is simply more important to us right now.
Molly, you have received lots of good advice from the other Moms. I hope you can find what works well for you and your dear ones.
Blessings,
__________________
kristina
yesterthoughts
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teachingmyown
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| Posted: Oct 23 2006 at 11:23pm | IP Logged
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Thanks for the input ladies! I will have to start implementing your great ideas. Of course, right now it is after midnight and my night-owl 3 yr old is still climbing on me and the baby who took a "nap" at 7:30pm is still rolling around and kicking.
My girls like to sleep like puppies, too. Last night, dh and I talked about getting rid of the bunk bed because no one sleeps on it but the dog! And the girls sleep on the dog's bed. I am not kidding! Last night I had four of them in my bed. Three (4, 3 and 6mos) of them wet the bed and the fourth one(6) ended up wet because her sister was sleeping on her!
I like the laundry idea, but my 3 yr old seems to have endless staying power. The key might really be staggered bedtimes. It is just the time commitment involved.
I will try the warm milk too. I need to evaluate their diets and see what might be keeping them wired. I bought some "calming" bubble bath and the girls dumped the whole thing in the shower when I had left the room to check on someone else! And they weren't even calm afterward! 
Krisina, I wish I knew the "good parenting rules" that would work on this brood! I think we do our best and ask God to do the rest.
Well, these babes are finally showing signs of wearying. Off to bed!
__________________
In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Sleep/ bedtime issues, again
