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rivendellmom
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| Posted: Sept 15 2006 at 7:44am | IP Logged
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This is a new one. We've never had a toddler who got so frustrated. I guess because his siblings are all older he wants to do, have etc. whatever they do.
But, he pinches, pulls hair and bites when he is being prevented from a prohibited activity. Like turning the computer off while his brother types a book report.
Any thoughts?
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Jen in suburban Chicagoland Mom to Connor(91), Garrett(93), Reilly (95), Mary Katherine (98), Declan (05), Ronan in ^i^ 6/28/08
visit our new blog: http://recreationalscholar.blogspot.com/
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Sarah
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| Posted: Sept 15 2006 at 2:07pm | IP Logged
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This is so funny (well actually not), but I have a 13 mo. old (8/4/05) who has the SAME problem.
He also slaps my face if I tell him "no!" or pick him up during a "raid" or "havoc-wreaking" episode. 
He is quite violent, even to other kids.
Luckily, I've seen this in several of my boys and they do outgrow it. It doesn't mean you have to sit there and let them do it, though.
I think redirection is a huge part of controlling it. And firmly, but not harshly grabbing him and removing him from the act.
I really think a big part of the frustration is:
1- being very active and INTO everything, which eventually leaves family members exasperated, and he knows that I am constantly removing him from destroying the place, and he just wishes he could sit and tear things up in peace! He thinks, "These people are always on my case!"
2-not being able to voice his frustrations with words
It will pass with LOTS of LOVE and redirection and a firm NO when he hurts people.
The temptation for my kids is to push him, hit him, or yell at him when they are beyond frustrated with his hand in their work.
As I typed this, my dd3 (who is his 2nd mother  ) called out, "Mom, Andrew is trying to pull the bird cage down on himself!"
You know, like he did earlier this week? 
These little guys are something else! Hang in there!
Also, I am not a big proponent of mothering substitutes, BUT a playpen at times has worked with this guy to calm him down and redirect, and. . .to let his brother FINISH his book report, block tower, coloring page, etc. . . My younger kids (3 & 5) climb in there with him and he likes that they keep him company and play with him.
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Six boys ages 16, 14, 11, 7, 5, 2 and one girl age 9
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MaryMary
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| Posted: Sept 15 2006 at 4:06pm | IP Logged
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[QUOTE=Sarah] he knows that I am constantly removing him from destroying the place, and he just wishes he could sit and tear things up in peace! He thinks, "These people are always on my case!"]
Sarah, this just made me bust out laughing! I have a 16 month old who does the same. When he hits, however, and it looks very willful and deliberate, I will put him in the crib/playpen for a minute. I usually pick him up after that minute and ask him to "show Mama gentle touches". He then usually caresses my cheek, and then I can't resist the urge to cover him with kisses! They can be so impossibly cute at this age, and often, well, they can be so... impossible!
Mary
mom 2 3 
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rivendellmom
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| Posted: Sept 15 2006 at 4:24pm | IP Logged
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Sarah,
Well at least I know its developmentally correct. My little guy (8-6-05) sounds like a clone of yours!
Mary,
I have the same problem- I'll put him in the pack and play and then always end up cuddling because he looks so forlorn. He has no idea why he had to go in there. The big kids call it "baby jail" and even the 12 year old will join him there!
Thanks for the commiseration!
Jen
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Jen in suburban Chicagoland Mom to Connor(91), Garrett(93), Reilly (95), Mary Katherine (98), Declan (05), Ronan in ^i^ 6/28/08
visit our new blog: http://recreationalscholar.blogspot.com/
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amiefriedl
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| Posted: Sept 15 2006 at 6:11pm | IP Logged
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If I could afford the signing time DVDs right now I'd get 'um for sure. I'm asking grandma to chunk out for as many as she can for Christmas. My 14mo would love it as she already uses her hands to tell me sooo much.
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In Christ the King through Mary our Mother,
Amie
Blessed with an awesome hubby and Mom of ds10, dd7, dd3 and dd 10months.
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hereinantwerp
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| Posted: Sept 28 2006 at 5:11pm | IP Logged
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just had to post b/c my 16 mo. old is doing this lately--
she is doing something she is not supposed to do (eg. she also loves to turn off the computer), and when I say no and pick her up, she has SUCH a temper--much more than my boys had! she screams and pulls my shirt and makes to bite my shoulder, tho so far she doesn't usually DO it--
so if she actually takes a chomp here's what I plan to do, it seems to work w/babies to "flick" their cheek w/my index finger right as they do take a bite. not hard, I don't want it to really hurt (I also have stubs for fingernails, w/a nail you'd want to be careful!), but they stop and look up in surprise, then of course I say "no". It seems to work well for the biting thing.
now I could use a good remedy for hair pulling--I try to communicate to her "that hurts mommy" or brother, but she still thinks it's rather funny, and will even pull her own hair to try to figure out what I mean--she must have a tough little head!
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Angela Nelson
Mother to Simon (13), Calvin (9), and Lyddie Rose (3)
my blog: live and learn
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: 13 month old pinching and biting
