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countrymom
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| Posted: Aug 29 2015 at 8:02pm | IP Logged
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I am exhausted, overwhelmed and my house is a mess, and school has not even started. I have never had a year like this before. Usually I am raring to go in Sept. I have spent all August planning, cleaning the school room, getting lesson plans together. But this time I have done minimal prep. I do have all books in bins for the children, and the school room has been dejunked, but that is about it.
I just want to take a month vacation on a beach where someone cooks for me instead of start school. 
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JodieLyn
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Oh man do I know that feeling. So many things seem to happen all at once with everything picking up again for the school season. And I'm usually still trying to get caught up from the last year. 
I've starting doing what I'm calling a "soft start" for school. I generally have math and grammar at the least that I can start with kids working in work books. Add in a game or educational video.. call it school and as the schedule gets easier then I add in the rest of what we want to do for the year. I figure it both let's me start on time and finish catching up.. well sorta. 
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Aagot
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What is different for you this year and how old are your kids?
I often do Jodie's soft start and I finish some subjects early too. Maybe you need to do one or two subjects for a week and spend a lot of time outside. Plan on a quiet time around 2 and then double cook so you can freeze half for a day when you cannot cook.
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SeaStar
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I feel your pain! I was pretty frazzled this summer making curriculum choices.... trying to find the best fit for my kids, preferably something by a Catholic provider or written by a Catholic. It was too much of a good thing- so many great resources are available; how do you narrow it down?
History in particular kept haunting me as reviewed the choices over and over. Looking back, I realize I made things very hard for myself. When school actually started here, it was a relief! I had to pick a history program and just go with it.
I have decided that from now on I am giving myself the freedom to pick the history (or whatever) that works best for us. If it's from Catholic provider, great. If not, as long as it is not anti-Catholic- great. There is no law that says I have to use only Catholic material.
I have also realized that if something does not work, I am pretty quick about spotting that and can change track. What I choose in August is not sealed in stone. Books can be resold if they are not working out.
I need to take my stress level in planning down a notch next summer and just enjoy summer more!
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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countrymom
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Aagot wrote:
What is different for you this year and how old are your kids?
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I have an almost 18 year old who I am letting off his Homeschool senior year so he can work full time and go to the local Tech college to brush up on math and figure out his career goals.
the rest are 15, 10, 6, 4, 2 and 3 months.
the difference is the stress I feel with trying to cook, clean, mother all these wide ranges of people, be a good wife, homeschool, keep a small farm running and have any sort of life beyond all of that. It is just too much, and I don't really know what has to go. I often have no "get up and go" I often feel like, "why even try to solve a problem, I have tried to solve this a million times, tried to be organized, have a schedule, and it never works!" I am just tired a bit depressed.
I have tried simplifying possessions, and while it did help some, it is not the golden key I had hoped it would be. There is still too much of everything, simply because I have so many people in my home. And just the daily de griming of the kitchen, and laundry and upkeep of 3 bathrooms, keeping the children diapered and wiped off so they don't look and smell like orphans, keeping them from arguing, and the dog hair that collects everywhere is enough to keep me running no matter how little possessions we have 
I know I am doing my duty in my state of life, and am trying to do it for the glory of God every day. I know I have to stress less and let God take care of it. The Traditional reading yesterday was the "consider the lilies" gospel, and Father gave a wonderful sermon on trusting God with our temporal concerns. Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these things will be given unto you..."
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JodieLyn
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A 3 month old? I don't think you need to figure out what you're doing wrong or doing too much.. I think you just need a bit of a break.. AND are you continuing to take your prenatal vitamins?? not taking those can do a lot.. and you might also have a touch of postpartum depression... again good vitamins especially B complex and D (with a tiny one I bet you're not getting out in the sun) will probably help.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Mackfam
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Older kids bring a different level of...activity...to the home. It's just a different dynamic than when all the kids were little.
Still...
I have a few ideas. I don't have a lot of time to type since I'm snatching about 10 minutes while a couple of my kids play and wait for me to hear narrations.
1) Those big kids should be doing everything required to run that house. Everything. If they're not, get dad involved. Drop everything for a week of training if needed.
2) From your rocking chair/favorite chair while the baby is nursing, get a simple piece of paper out - put it on a clipboard and grab a pen. Divide your paper into two columns. In the left side column, list every single chore that is needed to maintain your day and your farm. Now, later in the evening, with your husband, go through the list and read it to him. Add anything he thinks you missed. In the right column, next to the chore that is listed on the left, list EVERY name of every child who could complete that chore (even if they might need a little training to complete it.) If there is a chore that ONLY you can complete, list it that way - your name only. The ONLY things that should be listed that way are: Nursing the baby, Supervising school/lesson plans.
3) If you are still concerned about stuff, sit down with your husband on another night and ask him to help you ask some honest questions about the things you have. Are you being good stewards of what you have? Can you find the things you need? Could you store off-season items in creative places/ways? Can he help you build simple shelves in unused spaces (we carved an entire family library out of the landing space at the top of our stairs)? Let some of these ideas land on a list and then sit down together another evening and prioritize that list. What must you do first to help you feel you aren't drowning anymore? Second? And so on. Commit to your list and post it for your husband. Add children's names to the list if they would be good helpers for projects.
4) School - It sounds as if you've done a bit of prep here already. GREAT! Roll with what you've got, and if it's overwhelming to you, give yourself permission to simplify what you've got. No looking around, no subbing (unless you've already got your willing substitute book already on a shelf in your house), no comparing, no fretting. Live out this season with as much simplicity as you can. If it ain't simple, don't do it.
With a 3 month old, my school would consist of reading aloud to the 6, 4 and 2 yo, and then I'd send them outside or to a play area. Enlist all the big kids to help you brainstorm some simple activities for your 2 yo. (I'm right there with you - 2 yo's can be a handful!) Do NOT overthink this! Simple little finger puppets rescued from the toy bin and placed in a small basket and set aside...a group of little matchbox cars, collected and put in a basket. Set out 3-4 baskets for the 2yo and include, as one of the chores on your list, the task of refreshing the toy groups/baskets for your 2 yo.
The 10 and 15 yo can have a simple booklist along with math and call it good enough. In other words, if you've got big, involved plans that require a lot of your involvement - stop! This is not the season for that! This is the season for good reading, independent readers hitting the basics, and educational DVDs! This is not a forever season!!! Give yourself permission to be in this season until Thanksgiving and after Thanksgiving - re-evaluate!
5) Conserve your energy for discipline, working on good habits (kindness, being attentive, tidying).
6) Go to your room at some point every day for 15-30 minutes Close the door (I lock my door...leave a big kid in charge of the 2 yo or do this while the 2 yo is napping). Set aside a little prayer book basket and maybe one or two other books or magazines you enjoy next to a simple, comfy chair. Steal a chair out of the kitchen or another room if you have to. Pray first. Then let yourself read something enjoyable. Get yourself a subscription to a pretty magazine that you enjoy...or another happy book. Whatever it is, it should be lovely and inspire you in the realm of beauty. Read and thoroughly enjoy it for 15-20 min.
Thinking about beautiful things lifts our thoughts and inspires us toward beauty, which invariably disposes us toward gratitude, a greater awareness of God's blessings, and a desire to bring more beauty into the little moments of our day.
We all need something beautiful around us and it can be the silliest, simplest beautiful thing - a collection of wildflowers from around the farm, a pretty spool of baking twine, a lovely piece of art. Whatever that is for you, have it nearby and allow your eye to rest on a thing of beauty once a day.
Needless to say, you and the baby are the only two people allowed in your room behind this closed door. No interruptions tolerated.
...................................................
My own 2 year old has decided that her time spent playing on her own is up...so my time here is up and I don't have time to proofread to see if anything here is unclear. Sending hugs and prayers!
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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Aagot
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Amen to what Jen and Jodie said! My goodness, no wonder you are exhausted and unmotivated! I bet the 15 year old could teach the 6 year old math and the 10 year old could teach the 4 year old math or letter sounds (not that you need to do any school with the 4 year old but he may like it). Could the 15 year old take over much of the farm work and count it as "entrepreneurship"?
Prayers for you! Take a nap!
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countrymom
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thank you so much ladies.
Jodie- I forced myself to take my prenatals today, and will get back on that bandwagon.
Jen- I printed out your post to add to my teacher folder of inspiring thoughts
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3ringcircus
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I agree w/ the great advice, and definitely agree that you and your DH should be monitoring you for PPD. I took omega mom while nursing my 3rd and couldn't believe the difference it made.
cross-posted 
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Christine
Mom to my circus of boys: G-1/06, D-1/04, S-4/10
Started HS in Fall'12
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Erica Sanchez
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Also agree with what the other gals posted. It won't make much difference academically if you delay beginning school another month and you will feel much better, I bet, with an almost two month old than three month old.
I would use the month to do what they said above: get a good chore system in place and work on habits.
I need to follow this advice myself! :)
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Have a beautiful and fun day!
Erica in San Diego
(dh)Cash, Emily, Grace, Nicholas, Isabella, Annie, Luke, Max, Peter, 2 little souls ++, and sweet Rose who is legally ours!
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SallyT
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Yes to everything, especially what Jen said about enlisting your older kids. It's so easy to slide into a position where (naturally) we're mom and want to take care of everyone and everything, and before we know it, everyone and everything expects us to take care of it . . . which is not good for us or our (able) children.
Remembering you in my prayers tonight, especially that you can enlist the help of your husband and children to lay down some habits that will make life easier for everyone -- and for your continued postpartum recovery.
God bless you,
Sally
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Castle in the Sea
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countrymom
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I don't know what it is about just trying to act like I have not just had a baby. I feel like I should be back in the swing of things. I keep thinking, gosh, I have done this so many times! I have no "excuse" to feel this way. I should just get up and go. And if you talk to most people, they think you are already off your rocker for having so many children AND homeschooling.
It probably does not help that I live in Amish land where the ladies are out hanging laundry, running the ringer washer and weeding the garden 2 weeks after baby is here. I can't even get out of bed these days before 8 am most mornings.
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countrymom
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| Posted: Aug 31 2015 at 10:42pm | IP Logged
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SallyT wrote:
Remembering you in my prayers tonight, especially that you can enlist the help of your husband and children to lay down some habits that will make life easier for everyone -- and for your continued postpartum recovery.
God bless you,
Sally |
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thank you. You ladies are so kind.
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countrymom
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Erica Sanchez wrote:
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I need to follow this advice myself! :)
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I know, right? I am so good at telling moms "give yourself a break, take your cod liver oil if your feeling a bit off" but can I do it myself?
I also have Diastasis recti which I have to repair. My midwife told me that she won't deliver another of my babies without me strengthening my abs. But at this point, Im like "let me lay in bed, and give me a box of cookies"
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JodieLyn
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What I've found is that when I'm feeling bad it's really hard to remember those things for myself. The best thing is having friends that you share advice with.. so that when you're the one feeling run down they can remind you what you should be doing.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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countrymom
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JodieLyn wrote:
| What I've found is that when I'm feeling bad it's really hard to remember those things for myself. The best thing is having friends that you share advice with.. so that when you're the one feeling run down they can remind you what you should be doing. |
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my good husband came to me this morning when I wandered downstairs with my coffee and my bottle of prenatals I had to force the FCLO down myself. I think when that stuff is all used up, I may try the Omega Mom and see how it does. The FCLO has been giving me an upset stomach, which it has never done before. Or maybe I just have to get used to it again. I went off of it at 30 something weeks because of its researched link to hemorrhage after birth.
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JodieLyn
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I took these Prenatal Forte The pills are on the large side and you take 6 day.. but they worked wonders for me.
The Rainbow Light Complete Prenatal is similar and I've also heard it highly recommended. I preferred the other though.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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CrunchyMom
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countrymom wrote:
JodieLyn wrote:
| What I've found is that when I'm feeling bad it's really hard to remember those things for myself. The best thing is having friends that you share advice with.. so that when you're the one feeling run down they can remind you what you should be doing. |
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my good husband came to me this morning when I wandered downstairs with my coffee and my bottle of prenatals I had to force the FCLO down myself. I think when that stuff is all used up, I may try the Omega Mom and see how it does. The FCLO has been giving me an upset stomach, which it has never done before. Or maybe I just have to get used to it again. I went off of it at 30 something weeks because of its researched link to hemorrhage after birth. |
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There is actually a controversy right now about fCLO, false claims, and even rancidity. A friend was just sharing. You can google around and see the different reports and opinions, but if it is making you ill, I would not force it. Find something that doesn't upset your stomach!
__________________
Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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countrymom
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CrunchyMom wrote:
countrymom wrote:
JodieLyn wrote:
| What I've found is that when I'm feeling bad it's really hard to remember those things for myself. The best thing is having friends that you share advice with.. so that when you're the one feeling run down they can remind you what you should be doing. |
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my good husband came to me this morning when I wandered downstairs with my coffee and my bottle of prenatals I had to force the FCLO down myself. I think when that stuff is all used up, I may try the Omega Mom and see how it does. The FCLO has been giving me an upset stomach, which it has never done before. Or maybe I just have to get used to it again. I went off of it at 30 something weeks because of its researched link to hemorrhage after birth. |
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There is actually a controversy right now about fCLO, false claims, and even rancidity. A friend was just sharing. You can google around and see the different reports and opinions, but if it is making you ill, I would not force it. Find something that doesn't upset your stomach! |
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I know, I have seen those. It does taste rancid to me, but I don't think it should taste like whipped cream either perhaps I should look into something else. Its just I have 3 sitting in my fridge, and that stuff aint cheap. I realize the WAPF is not the gospel of nutrition. I do tend to agree with them, but then again, I do feed my children cereal sometimes, which according to them is worse than feeding them cardboard And my wicked evil pancakes when I don't soak the grain overnight.......
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: school is supposed to start?
