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mommy4ever
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| Posted: March 28 2014 at 12:40pm | IP Logged
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The 2yo I watched, decided to bite a younger one today. This is the first time it's happened here. He has left bruises on the other child.
I am not sure how to deal with this. I put him for a time out, and after the initial fuss of being placed in time out, about 1 minute, if that, he sat there and smirked.
My husband said it's time to let them know if the behavior from this child doesn't improve, he won't be welcome back. There isn't a day that goes by where he doesn't hit, push, sit on, and generally unkind to the younger kids.
I don't know how to curb the behavior. I am currently making lunch, and he is sitting in the high chair because he will so something if my back is turned. I can't have eyes on him 100% of the time.
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Mom to 4,
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2 homeschooled(one considering art school!)
ardently praying for a new addition to our family.
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: March 28 2014 at 1:44pm | IP Logged
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My kids usually would bite from frustration.. so catching the situation was easier than punishing the behavior. I needed to notice a situation where the little guy was not able to communicate or was trying to get his way and help them through the situation.. pretty much get my hands on them help them stay calm and give them words to use and help the other kids listen to those words.. pretty much direct the interaction so that it doesn't become a "I'm bigger, stronger, meaner and can take what I want" situation.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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guitarnan
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| Posted: March 28 2014 at 2:49pm | IP Logged
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What Jodie said.
But...I had an in-home daycare for a while, and one of the children was a chronic biter. There was no trigger that we could identify - it was just random biting. I finally had to let him go; his parents would not work with me on this (or other issues) at all. Sigh.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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mommy4ever
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| Posted: March 28 2014 at 2:58pm | IP Logged
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Nancy,
I am feeling that way. There is no trigger for the behavior, other than wanting everything the other has, it starts the second he comes in. He may not even have his coat off.
He can have all but 1 car, and pounce to get it and grab from the other.
This morning it happened as mom drove around the corner from our house. There was no time to be.... well anything. First he wanted to sit on him, then wanted the toy, then when given a selection of others, and discussed not taking toys, he wanted to hit him with a toy, discussed we don't hit friends, and there were still lots of cars to play with. I saw a flash, thought some one pulled in the driveway, and in those seconds, he bit. There is a good bruise forming now. I feel ill over this.
I have been talking to them. Dad is frustrated with the child, nothing works to redirect his behavior. The child thinks a time out is a joke. Mom shrugs and says, he doesn't do that.  I don't know what else to do. Dad is concerned, he wants to curb these things as that may eventually lead to more serious behaviors. I've seen him slap dad right across the face, with no trigger.
I am thinking that after a year, I've given a good effort. I don't like to give up, but I'm a little at loss on how to make the situation better. I know the grandparents, the aunt, and it makes it awkward.
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Mom to 4,
1 graduated June 2012
1 in Catholic school
2 homeschooled(one considering art school!)
ardently praying for a new addition to our family.
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: March 28 2014 at 3:11pm | IP Logged
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Then it sounds like this incident is a timely situation for shifting the child out of your care.
You have two things going on care of a child and a business. You've given this family a lot of time and attention to this problem and you may need to shift from care of the child to care of your business.
He may do better being cared for by someone who has older kids or no other kids so that the habit isn't ingrained and as he gets bigger there'll be more strategies that might work.. especially as he understands consequences better.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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guitarnan
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| Posted: March 28 2014 at 5:51pm | IP Logged
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I agree with Jodie. Eventually the parents of the other child in your care will insist that you ask this family to leave, or they will leave instead. (Guess how I know.)
It is up to the child's parents to handle this situation, ultimately. This little child is very angry about something, and it's not something that is happening on your watch.
Yes, it is awkward to ask a family to leave, but you can use Jodie's suggestion if you happen to run into other family members. A child care situation where he has to interact with older, more confident children will be better for him. (Not to mention that it will force his parents to realize that they really have to do something, before their child seriously harms another child and before he starts school.)
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Biting?
