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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: Aug 23 2013 at 7:18pm | IP Logged
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This is my first newborn where I feel like my olders need more direction and structure while in the inevitable survival mode. How do you experienced and organized ladies approach life with an infant? Yk, other than "fly by the seat of your pants."  Do you have any strategies that you have found helped you juggle meals, laundry, schooling, etc..., while tending to the needs of an infant?
I feel like I've been in survival mode of sorts for the past two years since moving while pregnant followed by a very intense high needs baby who is now an intense two year old terrorist 
I don't know if it is primarily health or habit related, and perhaps this is a different topic? But the chaos of my boy filled household has overwhelmed me for some time. I attempt to do things like read aloud or other activities, and I shut down almost immediately because I cannot handle all that is coming at me. I know it is normal for boys to be active and such during read aloud time, but as I have more boys, I find I simple cannot handle it: their crawling all over me, wanting a glimpse of every scrap of illustration, all while the two year old complains and now a perpetually nursing infant!
Anyway, I'm Having a hard time not wanting to run away and hide with the baby, but then, I felt that way when pregnant, too. I need to seriously engage and implement a more disciplined routine, but I am lost trying to do this with a baby who is unpredictable! Any little hints or strategies for how to make this happen is helpful.
My oldest is nine, though, I think he might have been more responsible when he was seven  In one sense, my boys help a lot! In another, their inability to understand what I need them to do or their inability to do it in a timely manner is infuriating, and I am bad a follow-up. On my best days, I am absent minded and forget, my mind assuming that once I've asked someone to do something, it is done, and the thing leaves my mind completely! Coupled with physical impediments like pregnancy and a newborn, I feel at a loss.
Thanks so much!
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Aug 23 2013 at 7:56pm | IP Logged
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Read alouds.. I generally let the little guys go play and only read to older ones.. I will sit with the little guys and a book they especially like when they can all pile on my lap.. and I have older kids read the littles books too.
Read to the older boys when the younger ones are napping or down for the night.
Have something really great to play with.. like playdough and explain that if they're quiet so you can read, they get to play with the playdough while you're reading and if you finish the chapter they get another 15 minutes of playing. But if you have to stop reading before the end of the chapter it will get put away when you stop reading. At first do only one color of playdough and minimal implements.. so that it's very easy to get it put away.
Remember boys' maturity tends to be behind girls.. so if you're thinking well this is what is done in X grade or this is what I did when I was X age.. give them a bit more time to get there too.
Assign seating. I remember when I had all younger kids.. I did that and it worked well.. no not on couches or such.. but you sit on this corner of the carpet (or bed) and you sit at this corner and then I would sit kids between the corners.. then everyone had their spot they had to stay and if they stayed in their spot I'd make sure to show them the pictures when I was done reading the page. If they weren't sitting there too bad, so sad.
Boys can really benefit if Dad steps in and basically says.. you may not treat my wife and your mother this way. She is not here to do your bidding and you will do your jobs. If the job isn't done, then when dad gets home he'll do that job (if possible) or a substitute job and an extra job with dad watching him to make it happen.. especially good if Dad can make him get it done with minimal interaction or while doing something fun with the other boys. So it's not an excuse to get Dad's full attention.
And of course there's always the strategy of having jobs need to be done just before meals so that.. when your job is done you'll get to eat. 
Mostly I've flown by the seat of my pants and just survived some of those years.
But your 9 yr old is starting to hit that transition point of wanting to be a man, wanting to be like dad.. and the more "man jobs" you can give him the better he'll cooperate.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Aug 23 2013 at 8:08pm | IP Logged
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As far as a baby that's not wanting you to get in a routine.. you just stumble through your routine juggling baby best as you can. And it gets easier as they get bigger. 
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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pumpkinmom
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| Posted: Aug 23 2013 at 9:34pm | IP Logged
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I'm stressed with just two big boys during read aloud time. I'll just offer prayers!
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Cassie
Homeschooling my little patch of Ds-14 and Ds-10
Tending the Pumpkin Patch
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AmandaV
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| Posted: Aug 23 2013 at 11:59pm | IP Logged
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For now, prayers, and empathy. With four boys and a girl right now, I understand you on the boy energy, especially my twins. My toddler isn't so difficult right now but does enjoy making a giant mess. We've got another boy coming in January, too. So hopefully we can get a good fall running.
Okay, here's what little I have right now :
1) Simplify as much as possible. Pick 7 meals or types and stick very closely to those each week. As in, Monday's spaghetti could become lasagna or baked ziti, but not something completely different. Things that are easy for you and most people like.
- Purge? Do you have time? We've been getting rid of a ton of clothes , or at least storing them until we know we don't need them, and its really helped with laundry.
2) Let your olders do more on their own.. Not sure if this will work for you, or me, but I'm giving up on reading much to my oldest other than a morning gathering time, and he's going to do most of his work on his own, with me guiding. Science and math will be more teacher directed because of the lesson aspect of our programs, but literature, ILL, History, etc. will be him reading, narrating to me, repeat, once per day written N. Creating independence is my goal this fall for him, and in some ways for my 2nd grade daughter. Creating routine.
Is that helpful? I know with a newborn it can be so crazy. But maybe if you just focus little by little on what your expectations are in a given area, subject, chore, each day and then hand it over to them that will bear fruit little by little. Like Monday, this is what I need you to do with the laundry, here's how, here's when, do it together, then go together over to a chart where it is written or make one right then together and then Tuesday add something else. Dishwasher, or here's how you do your History lesson, here are your materials, schedule, etc.
I'm mostly talking to myself here. But I have seen that lately, by God's grace, with some reminding and habit building, my big kids are able to do a lot of the laundry and dishes. If I let up or let it go or do it myself they will slack but the more days in a row, the more natural it becomes to them. I'm having my 9 year old keep the wash moving, no set schedule, just keep it moving every few hours.
Blessings, Lindsay. You are in my prayers!
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Amanda
wife since 6/03, Mom to son 7/04, daughter 2/06, twin sons 6/08 and son 7/11, son 1/2014
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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: Aug 24 2013 at 6:26am | IP Logged
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AmandaV wrote:
| I have seen that lately, by God's grace, with some reminding and habit building, my big kids are able to do a lot of the laundry and dishes. If I let up or let it go or do it myself they will slack but the more days in a row, the more natural it becomes to them. I'm having my 9 year old keep the wash moving, no set schedule, just keep it moving every few hours. |
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This describes where we are well. I think my frustration lies in the fact that the times I need them most are when I let up, kwim?
__________________
Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Routine with newborn
