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myheaven1967
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| Posted: June 14 2013 at 2:10pm | IP Logged
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I pray this does not meet with disdain, but I believe we should submit to our husbands, and as such I am struggling with a situation.
I am a runner. I love to run. I am also a barefooter. I live to be barefoot. I have thought about barefoot running for a LONG time. Read about it. Studied it. I have toe shoes to run in which are the least you can put on your feet and still be wearing "shoes."
Yesterday I went on my first real barefoot run. I went further than I thought I could, but further than I should have as well.
My husband knew it as soon as I walked in the door. He always knows things..... 
I did not dare show him the bottoms of my feet.
This morning we had a bit of a talk and he told me I am not allowed to go running barefoot anymore. He bought me these nice running shoes and he wants me to wear them. Period.
I know he worries about my welfare. I know I am stubborn. I also know I need to submit to his wishes on this. Yet my mind fights it. I love the freedom of being shoeless.
I don't know how to make myself content with this.
Have others struggled with this as well?
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Jill: Wife to Kurt, mother to 1 dd and 4 ds
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Bridget
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| Posted: June 14 2013 at 2:20pm | IP Logged
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It is very difficult for a man to feel confident caring for his family if his wife will not co-operate with him on safety issues.
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God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
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myheaven1967
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| Posted: June 14 2013 at 2:24pm | IP Logged
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I know. I look it as freedom and yes, he looks at it as safety. I had not realized that this was such a struggle for me, until this morning.
I need to not think about it and just do it, don't I?
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Jill: Wife to Kurt, mother to 1 dd and 4 ds
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Bridget
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| Posted: June 14 2013 at 2:28pm | IP Logged
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I sounded blunt and came back to add that I used to be a barefoot runner so I get why you like it. But it's such a simple thing he is asking. Show him your love by submitting on this one.... cheerfully. 
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Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
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myheaven1967
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| Posted: June 14 2013 at 2:30pm | IP Logged
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Thank you Bridget, I think I needed a kick in the butt by a woman! 
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Jill: Wife to Kurt, mother to 1 dd and 4 ds
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MichelleW
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| Posted: June 14 2013 at 3:22pm | IP Logged
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Can I just add -- so many times in my marriage the doors to further discuss things have opened very wide after submission. I don't mean this in a manipulative way--I will submit now so that I can get my way later--just that after I have let go of whatever it was I was clutching, and my heart is soft and teachable often God will bring the topic up again. Then we have a conversation instead of a fight and beautiful things happen.
Also, I am able to be more successful at this when I think of it in terms of surrendering to God by submitting to my husband. Thinking of it that way makes me less apt to argue and more apt to lean into the Holy Spirit.
You have a beautiful heart. I see it over and over again here each time you post. Be encouraged. St. Paul says that in our weakness HE is made strong. Perhaps this is a time for that. You pushed a bit hard, and came home weak. Now God can be made strong in you as you seek Him out in this situation. Blessings!
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Michelle
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: June 14 2013 at 5:52pm | IP Logged
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Honestly, whenever I read about "submitting", my stomach turns a bit. This isn't because I'm unusually strong-willed or prideful, it's just...maybe semantics.
I've prayed and pondered and concluded that for me, it's not about submitting (or at least my understanding of what submitting is), but rather about trust & vulnerability. So I ask myself, "Is my husband trustworthy?" Then I ask, "Does he have my back when I'm vulnerable?" These questions help my heart to soften and my mind to look for what is right.
Also, for the sake of my dignity as an adult woman, my husband refrains from forbidding or dictating my behaviors under normal circumstances (medical emergencies come to mind as an exception). And I do the same for him. I appreciate that he takes the time to make persuasive arguments patiently, giving my brain information to steer me in the right direction to make good decisions; to freely choose what is good and right for myself; to buy in  The way we speak with each other, with respect & concern, helps strong medicine  to go down more easily.
Hope this helps, Jill 
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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myheaven1967
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| Posted: June 14 2013 at 6:06pm | IP Logged
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Thank you Ladies for all your honesty.
I need to honor his request and gracefully agree/submit/trust his decision in this regard. I know I do.
I need to back down. I have been working through the Consecration to the Immaculate Heart of Mary, and I think that there is a lesson in this that I NEED to learn.
Michelle, thank you for the very sweet compliment, but in all honesty I do not ever claim this beautiful heart, it is not mine, it is Our Mothers. I hope to only honor her and do it justice. 
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Jill: Wife to Kurt, mother to 1 dd and 4 ds
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stefoodie
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| Posted: June 14 2013 at 9:04pm | IP Logged
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Hi Jill, I just want to offer my perspective, since I'm a very strong willed person myself and can get quite difficult and argumentative, even with my angel of a husband. The times when I've submitted to him and his leadership, especially those times when I've done as he wished, but begrudgingly, I've never regretted. Something always happens that proves him right and makes me realize how much I need to just trust that he's got my back, that he's doing his part in terms of prayer and following and discerning God's will for himself and for his family, and that I could save us all much heartache and grief and regret if I just submit. My husband rarely contradicts me on things because he also trusts my judgment, so those rare times when he has had to put his foot down and say, THIS is how we need to do things, I've learned to say YES. Prayers for you dear, I think it's so great that you feel comfortable enough to come here with this. And I love what you said about our Lady.
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stef
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guitarnan
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| Posted: June 14 2013 at 10:37pm | IP Logged
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What Stef said. 100%.
Case in point...the day my husband came home and told me I HAD to homeschool our children for two years (at an overseas military duty station). That YES was the hardest yes I've ever uttered, and it came after two months of Our Lord's most blatant hints ever (!) that homeschooling was in our family's best interests. We are finishing our 11th year of homeschooling   , so he definitely had the right idea. The Good Lord dragged me kicking and screaming into homeschool land, but He knew I would listen to my husband. And here we are.
I think "submitting" is a difficult word, too. Listening to my husband, honoring him in his position as head of our family, those are easy to do. He doesn't ask very often for me to accept his leadership (he travels a great deal, so there are so many times I wish he were here to make those tough decisions!), but if he asks, I try my best to follow where he leads. So far, we're doing well!
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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myheaven1967
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| Posted: June 15 2013 at 7:36am | IP Logged
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Thank you Stef and Nancy.
I have relinquished this hold. I am allowing myself to not fight it and just go with it.
I have not said anything to him about it, and do not intend to, but just to honor him in following through.
Homeschooling was actually my idea Nancy, but now HE sees how wonderful it is and is glad I talked him into it.  So the road does go both ways some days.
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Jill: Wife to Kurt, mother to 1 dd and 4 ds
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Submitting
